Toshiro dreamed of winter. He dreamed of freshly fallen snow in the morning. He dreamed of icicles hanging down from his grandmother's roof. He dreamed of the frozen pond he used to skate on with Momo. He dreamed of coldness and frost swirling around him. He dreamed of Hyourinmaru. He dreamed of many things, but he could not wake.
Ichigo awoke suddenly, with a sharp gasp of air. Then people surrounded him. He saw a mass of faces that he didn't know. Then he felt pain. So much pain! He squeezed his eyes shut a clamped his jaw so hard he felt for sure that it would break. He squinted his eyes open and all the voices and pain all of a sudden stopped when he saw one familiar face. One with purple eyes and black hair. Rukia. He smiled ever so slightly. She noticed and her worried face changed to a smiling one. Then the pain came back and he scrunched his face up again. He couldn't help it; he screamed. The last thing he saw was Rukia's face and hearing her shout his name.
Everything was a red. A deep, blood red. But he wasn't sure if it was his, or the person across from him. The person with a tiny frame and snow-white hair. Then he was falling. Falling through darkness. Then he hit something hard. He cracked his eyes open and saw Aizen. He wanted to cut him down, but he could not move. Then, he realized that Aizen was not facing him. He was facing the bloody body of the Tenth Division Captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya.
Ichigo called out his name, but no sound came out. He was helpless as Aizen lashed out at Toshiro. He dodged the blade and attacked Aizen. Aizen stopped it with his sword. Aizen tried attacking again and again, but despite barely being able to stand, Toshiro somehow managed to dodge every attack.
But then Aizen smiled. It was a terrible, sick smile. He ran towards Ichigo and slashed his blade down at him. Ichigo couldn't do anything. He couldn't move. Then, a body jumped in front of him and blocked the blow. Blood sprayed everywhere, adding to the redness.
Toshiro's face scrunched in pain. Then, he fell. Not Toshiro, Aizen. Toshiro's blade was protruding out of Aizen's back. His blade had stabbed his chest. It was no trick or illusion. Toshiro had stabbed Aizen. Aizen fell to the ground and Hyourinmaru slid out, blood covered, as Toshiro stood triumphant over his body. But his victory was short lived as he collapsed after Aizen, covered in so much blood you couldn't even see any skin. Ichigo tried to call out again but he couldn't breath.
Then there was blackness. Then, Toshiro was there all of a sudden, floating in the inky darkness. His scowl was gone and his eyes were closed. He was still covered in blood and Ichigo called out his name, successfully this time. Toshiro's eyes remained closed. Ichigo frantically screamed his name over and over, but he did not wake.
Ichigo woke with a jolt and this time, there was only Renji and Rukia around him. Rukia gasped and they both leaned down simultaneously and hugged him. Rukia was crying and Renji looked ready to but he wiped his nose and regained his composure. Once they let go, Ichigo smiled. "Hey." Rukia's face turned red.
"Hey? You almost die again and all you can say is hey? We were worried sick! Do you even know how much blood you had on you? How can you have been so stupid? Even you aren't that idiotic to try and kill Aizen single-handedly! If it wasn't for Captain Hitsugaya, you would've died!" she screamed. Ichigo suddenly snapped his head up when he remembered what had happened as Rukia rambled on.
"Oh my god, is he okay? He was covered in so much blood! Where is he, is he alright?" Ichigo yelled. Rukia stopped talking at Ichigo's outburst and looked uneasy, along with Renji.
"Well, he's alive," Renji said sadly. "He's not exactly okay." Ichigo looked up at them, wide eyed.
"What happened to him?" he demanded. Renji hurriedly said he needed to get Unohana and scrambled out the door leaving Rukia and Ichigo alone. "Rukia, what happened to him?" Ichigo asked once again. Rukia smiled softly and sat down on the edge of the hospital bed Ichigo was in.
"That's just like you, Ichigo. Always worrying about others and not even looking at yourself," she said quietly. Ichigo glanced down at himself and the sight shocked him. His entire torso was covered in bandages and both of his arms were, too. He lifted the covers up to see that his left leg was heavily bandaged as well as his right leg, although much less so.
"You've been out for three weeks. You were fighting Aizen." She began. "You fell and Aizen would've killed you. Hitsugaya saved you. But he… well, he lost something. Two things, actually," she said.
"I remember him saving me. And I remember him being covered in blood. I-I couldn't breath. Everything was red. Then it was dark," he stammered. "What did he lose?" Rukia wasn't smiling anymore, not even a little. She took a breath, than spoke.
"His arm. His right arm. When Aizen was going to deliver his final blow to you, he blocked it with his arm. The blade hit him right on top of the shoulder. It cut almost all the way through. The Fourth Division couldn't heal him. Not even Orihime. Unohana concluded that she couldn't because of a poison Aizen used to cover his blade." Ichigo stared at her then at the white blankets. He caused this. He made Hitsugaya lose his arm.
"What else? What else did he lose?" he demanded, jerking his head back up. Rukia sighed.
"Someone very dear to him. I don't think it's my place to tell you. He doesn't even know yet," she said, lowering her head to face the ground.
"Rukia please tell me. I need to know what I caused." She snapped her head up and glared at him.
"No! Okay, no! You didn't cause this! It's not your fault she had to go and-" she stopped suddenly and her eyes weld up with tears.
"What happened?" Ichigo asked softly.
"Hinamori," she choked. "She-she killed herself." Tears stared streaming down her face and Ichigo just looked shell shocked. Rukia wiped her tears away and stood up. I'm going to go see Hitsugaya. I assume Renji shall be here in a moment. Remember, you didn't cause this!"
"Maybe not her death, but I am for his arm," Ichigo muttered too quietly for Rukia to hear as she walked out the door. Ichigo sat for a few seconds in silence before Unohana walked in with Renji following behind.
"Ichigo. How are you feeling?" Unohana asked softly as she began to check the machines hooked up to him.
"Fine, I guess. Can I see Toshiro?" he asked.
"Captain Hitsugaya has yet to wake and you are in no condition to be out of bed," she said sharply. "Do you feel pain anywhere?"
"My chest kind of hurts," he said. "And my head." Unohana nodded.
"Alright. Isane will bring some soup later. Here's some tea, though," she said and handed him a cup. "Do you need anything?"
"Something to do would be nice." Unohana smiled softly.
"You need rest after what you've been through," she explained.
"From what I hear, I've had three weeks of rest," Ichigo argued. She ignored him as if he hadn't say anything.
"When Isane comes, she'll take off your old bandages. A lot of your wounds have healed very nicely. Renji, come with me."
"What? Can't I just talk to him for a minute?" he argued defensively.
"Renji, come with me," she said over sweetly, turning from motherly to creepy in a second. Renji lowered his eyes to the ground and followed her out.
Ichigo woke with a start. The cause: a scream. He didn't know who's but he had a sickening hunch to it. He sat up in bed and attempted to get up. It hurt a little once he stood up but since he was nearly recovered he was able to walk quickly out the door. Once in the hallway, Ichigo didn't know which way to turn. Unohana hadn't allowed him to visit Toshiro so he had no idea which way to go. He had had enough and wanted to see him now. Luckily, a commotion was making itself known to the left so he bolted that way until he stopped at the door the noise was coming from.
He heard the door start to slide and dashed into the empty room across the hall. He stood next to the open door, breathless, until he heard the sound of the door closing. He peeked out and saw a bunch of Shinigami's walking down the hall. He walked across the hall in his white hospital gown and opened the door.
Unohana and Isane were standing next to the bed and on the other side was standing on the other, and Masumoto and Ukitake were sitting on the bed, holding a hyperventilating Toshiro Hitsugaya. He had no dressing gown on, only white pants, and his chest was heavily wrapped with bandages. And where the right arm connected with the shoulder, there wasn't anything except bandages, tinged red. Ichigo found himself staring. That is, until a sharp voice interrupted.
"Ichigo! What are you doing out of bed?" Unohana said.
"Oh, I, um, I heard a scream, so I went to check it out?" he stammered questionably.
"You should be in bed," she replied sternly.
"Oh, come on! I'm recovered! Just let me out!"
"Even if I did let you out, you still would not be permitted to see Captain Hitsugaya! He has gone through quite a lot and still needs rest, unlike you, apparently."
"Well then why are they here?" he questioned, motioning to the others.
"Jushiro and Shunsui are Captains, as am I, Isane is my lieutenant and is helping me care for Hitsugaya and Matsumoto has a right to see him since she is his lieutenant!" she exclaimed.
"Aw, come on Retsu, let him stay. He has a right to see, too," Shunsui said. The normally bubbly Matsumoto didn't say anything and just held Toshiro's left hand while he leaned on Ukitake, allowing him to hold him. He was still breathing heavily.
"Shiro-chan, would it be alright if Ichigo stayed?" Ukitake asked Toshiro, softly and gently. "Or would you like to rest?"
"Kurosaki may stay if he whishes," Toshiro says quietly. Just then, Ichigo realized how awkward this whole thing must be for Toshiro. The person who made his right arm get chopped off is just standing there in front of him.
"Actually, I think Unohana is right. I'll go back to my room," Ichigo muttered. He walked out of the doorway and to his room. At least I got to see Toshiro and know he's awake now, Ichigo thought.
After Ichigo left, everyone else stayed for a while, but eventually, even Ukitake left, leaving Matsumoto alone with Toshiro.
The Tenth Division Captain didn't say anything, just sat and stared at the white sheets covering him, his left hand rubbing at his right shoulder.
"Does it hurt?" Rangiku asked. He nodded.
"It's just weird. I keep thinking it's there, but it's just gone. How am I supposed to fight now? How can I wield Hyourinmaru?" he muttered. She looks at Toshiro and for the first time in his life, see's pure vulnerability. Hitsugaya doesn't know what to do and he doesn't know where his life will lead now, he probably doesn't even know how to be a Captain anymore.
"I don't know," Matsumoto admits, "But I do know that whatever happens, you'll find a way through. Just like you always do. And we'll be here for you, Captain. Always. " She pulled Toshiro into a hug as tears slip down Hitsugaya's cheeks. They turn into sobs and small tremors wrack his body as he breaks down and buries his small head into her chest in attempt to hide the pain and anguish. Matsumoto just wraps his arms around Toshiro's small body and holds him until he wears himself out and falls asleep.
Rangiku lays Toshiro down gently on the bed. "Goodnight, Captain," she says quietly and slips out the door.