A woman in her early forties entered the bar quietly. She sat in an empty booth in the back corner of the warm, dimly lit room. A few moments later a boisterous blonde woman approached her.
"Ello Cheri," she greeted her with a warm, bright smile, "My name is Sandrine, can I get you anything, or are is a pretty woman like yourself expecting someone?"
"I'm here alone," came the soft voice from the seated, auburn haired woman, "can I get a coffee spiked with a cash of Irish whisky, Madame Sandrine?"
Sandrine surveyed her quiet costumer. She was beautifully sad, to say the least. She had pale skin accented by pink lips and a vibrant shade of auburn hair that reached just past her shoulders. But it was her eyes that were her most drawing feature. They were a clear blue that held so much life, yet held an aura of pain and sorrow that was over whelming.
"Right away," Sandrine said as she whisked away.
The woman at the table pulled out an old fashioned book and settled in for a good night of reading.
"Ere you go," Sandrine set down a cup of coffee and a bottle of Irish whiskey on the table in front of the woman. The woman glanced down at what Sandrine had set down, then looked up at her with confused eyes.
"I didn't ask for the whole bottle," she said.
"Wee Cheri, but you look like you could use it," Sandrine said over her shoulder as she walked away.
Kathryn almost burst out laughing. It seemed as though the hologram of Sandrine on Voyager was just the same as the real Sandrine; very perceptive, and bold. Kathryn's dancing eyes faded into that well known sadness with the memories of off duty time spent laughing with her friends in this room on Voyager. She poured a good amount of the Irish whiskey into her cup before she took a drink and went back to reading her book.
Life moved on around Kathryn Janeway as she sat in her little world in France.
They had been back from the Delta Quadrant for six weeks, and already so much had changed. Her mother had died, her sister had moved away before she came back and stayed away, her voyager family had dispersed, and her best friend had married her daughter two days ago.
Well, Seven wasn't biologically her daughter, but she sure as hell considered her as one. But what hurt the most was the loss of Chakotay. Kathryn hadn't seen him since the last day of the debriefings. He had asked her to preside over the ceremony. She had made up some lame excuse and then hastily walked away from him and Seven.
Two weeks later, Gretchen Janeway had died, they had had barely any time to reconnect to one another when the elder woman had been found by Kathryn one morning in her bed so peacefully dead. As it turns out, Gretchen had been hiding an illness from both of her girls, and taking stimulants to seem normal. She called Phoebe with the news. They had cried together, and then Phoebe had told Kathryn that she wouldn't be able to make it to the funeral.
Her crew from Voyager had all gotten out of their debriefings rather quickly, all past issues were pardoned, and were now free to go see their families and take their choosing of assignment from Star Fleet, if they chose to stay. Some called her occasionally, out of pity, she suspected. B'Ellana and Tom were the ones she talked to most frequently, if only because they were the closest to her other than Chakotay, who had just cut all communications with her. They would usually bring Harry in on it, and he was always pleased to see her and update her on the lives of people she hadn't heard from. Naomi would also call, which always made Kathryn happy; the little girl was such a shining light from the Delta Quadrant, and always was positive. She was moving off of Earth with her mom and dad though, which means that communications from them would be sparse.
So in just three short weeks, everything Kathryn Janeway held close to her heart had been torn away so brutally, it stole her breath away.
In the past three weeks since then, she had accepted a position teaching at the Academy. She had made herself a home at a lovely Château over looking the Mediterranean in France or the old farm house in Indiana that her mother had left to her.
Kathryn usually loved the quiet solitude that both houses gave her, but on this particular night, the silence was too deafening and she had to find a familiar place to go.
She turned forty two today, a lonely teacher with no family to speak of. And the familiar place wasn't helping; it was doing the exact opposite.
Setting aside her book, Kathryn picked up her spiked coffee and looked out over the dimly lit room. There were a few people in booths and at tables, and a some young people playing billiards. One lonely man sat at the bar talking quietly with Sandrine.
Sandrine laughed loudly at what the man said, glancing in Kathryn's direction. The bartender smiled at the man and excused herself, walking over towards Kathryn with a pot of coffee. The man at the bar turned to see where Sandrine was going.
Kathryn immediately recognized her former first officer. She quickly bent over to retrieve her purse and make a hasty escape from the now suffocating bar.
"Would you like more coffee Cheri?" Sandrine asked.
"No, can I get my check please? I really need to go," Kathryn was trying to hide herself behind Sandrine. She didn't want Chakotay to see her at all.
"Sure, why don't you come up to the bar to pay?" Sandrine asked, turning to walk there.
"No!" Kathryn said hurriedly, causing Sandrine to look back at her funnily, "just take this money and I'll be on my way," Kathryn shoved some money at Sandrine and practically ran for the door.
Chakotay was walking towards the door. He didn't feel like staying in this memory laden place any longer, when a short auburn haired woman ran into him and nearly knocked them both down. He quickly grabbed her around the waist so that they wouldn't fall. The woman in his arms was facing him, her body trembling and wet face buried in his neck, her breathe hot there. He noticed that her toes were barely on the ground, and that he was holding her up.
"Shhh, it's alright, don't cry," he moved his hand up to stroke her back and held the woman tighter. He wasn't sure who it was, he just knew that he needed to comfort the petite woman in his arms.
"What are you doing here?" an unmistakable voice whispered.
"Kathryn?" he buried his face in her hair. She was growing it out, he noticed, "I've been looking for you for weeks; happy birthday, by the way."
A choked sob escaped her as she ripped herself from his comforting embrace and she escaped out the door.
Chakotay hurried outside behind her, only to find her sprinting down the side walk in the pouring rain. Half-way down the block she stopped in front of a black ground vehicle and opened the door. She looked back at him with a sad expression, then got in her car and sped off.
Kathryn stopped her car once she was a few blocks away from Sandrine's and collapsed against the steering wheel in hysterical sobs.
This was proving to be the worst birthday she had ever had. That included the one she had had the day after she destroyed the Caretakers array. Not many knew or figured out when her birthday was, so they didn't realize how hard that decision had really weighed down on her, not even Chakotay.
After a moment Kathryn straightened, wiped away the tears from her eyes, and started her hour drive towards home.
Once there, she threw herself onto her king sized bed, buried her head into her pillow and fell into a dreamless slumber.
Her eyes still haunted him. The look of terrible loss and loneliness had stayed with him for the past week. The feel of her small, shaking body in his arms tore him apart on the inside. It was his fault and he knew it.
Chakotay had just gotten back from month in Dorvan and decided to go to a bar, a familiar one. Sandrine's was the natural choice.
Seven had left him before they even got to the transport to go to his home colony. She claimed that he didn't love her the way that married people should, and that it was Kathryn that he should have proposed to, not her.
Try as he might, Chakotay could not find her now. His last resort would be to call some people from Voyager, but remembering the scornful looks he had gotten from some when they saw him with Seven, he had to be careful with whom he called.
He set the tea he had been sipping on the tray in front of him and stood to recycle it.
Today was his first day teaching at the academy. He was a little apprehensive about accepting the position at first, but he couldn't see himself anywhere else. He was content to be settled down finally after so many years on the go.
Chakotay was staying in a small apartment that was too empty at night. He was considering getting a dog to fill the void that was shaped like a certain small woman he knew.
Chakotay's next class started in ten minutes, and he ran out the door. In his rush to his room, he missed the short auburn haired woman, whose head was bent over a PADD, walk into the cafeteria as he left.
Kathryn's first two classes this morning had gone well. Her first class, advanced command, would be fun. She had plans of making the cadets' lives a living hell, such as learning how to survive with absolutely nothing but the clothes on their backs like they did on that planet that Seska had stranded everyone on. The second class was all about the Delta Quadrant. Being that she was the captain of the people who lived for seven years, and had a good knowledge of how to teach the class. Her one afternoon class was Unreserved Science. Kathryn was ecstatic to be teaching this class. It was all about asking abstract questions and searching for the answer, or formulating a theory then proving it. This class was designed for people with a passion for the sciences, people like Kathryn Janeway.
After picking up a coffee and sandwich from the replicator, Kathryn went and sat down by a window to eat her meager lunch in the few minutes she had left.
She was glad for the distraction of all her hard and advanced classes. They kept her from thinking about Chakotay.
Just as Kathryn was settling in for a peaceful lunch, three female cadets sat down at the table behind her.
"Rosie, you missed out on the cutest professor ever," one said conspiringly.
"Who? Is it that new advanced tactics teacher?" Rosie, Kathryn assumed, asked.
"Yes," the other cadet said, "he is so dreamy and he has that sexy tattoo over the left eye…"
"Oh, and those dimples! They are to die for," the first cadet interjected.
"I hear he's staying on as a permanent professor! You'll have to get him next semester Rosie," Kathryn knew exactly who the three girls were gossiping about, and she hoped that it wasn't true.
She quickly recycled her lunch and rushed to her class room. She probably looked crazy as she blindly walked to her room, muttering about stupid men and chance encounters.
Flipping on her computer, she checked the teacher roster. There he was, Captain Chakotay. His class room was the one right next to hers.
"Crap," Kathryn muttered, running a hand through her hair. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Was it some mass cosmic joke to make her life a living hell?
Slowly over the next five minutes, her Unrestricted Science students trickled in. There were ten of them in all, and only three of them girls. One of the girls and two of the boys she recognized from her advanced command class first block. They seemed to be good friends, Cai, Bill, and Jesse, if she wasn't mistaken. All of her students seemed to get along, which was good. Kathryn hated dealing with drama.
The clock struck one, and it was time to start class. Kathryn stood, and without a word, she wrote up on the board 'HOW' and 'WHY'. She turned and surveyed her class. They were all looking at her. Some looked scared, others, basically only Cai and her two guy friends, simply were looking at her as though she was just a person and not someone to be feared. She kind of liked that, especially since she had spent the latter half of her life being basically revered like God. It felt good to be looked upon without fear.
"These are the two principals that will be guiding you during this course. How and why the world works around you. I'm assuming that all of you have taken your basic science classes; therefore you all are able to formulate a hypothesis and work out an experiment. I'm not here to tell you your limitations, you set your own. A very wise man once told me that."
"Who, Admiral?" Cai asked.
"My father, who you all should know as Admiral Edward Janeway. Now, if you have any questions, you can come talk to me, or you can get started with formulating your first hypothesis. I want to see at least one by next class, and if you don't have one, well, we'll have a little chat. Now get going."
Kathryn watched them from her desk as her ten students sat and collaborated together about what they would be doing. It looked like they all were debating on who would come up and ask her a question. It seemed that Cai had gotten fed up of everyone's bickering, and walked up to her at the desk.
"Admiral," her voice was tender, almost musical, "some of my classmates over there were wondering if we could work in groups?"
Kathryn nearly laughed out loud at the question: was she really so scary that they didn't want to ask her such a simple question? But her first impression on Cai was correct; she was a brave soul, and not afraid of asking questions or taking initiative when needed.
"As long as everyone does an appropriate amount of work, the whole class could work together; I simply need to approve of every step everyone makes, just like someone doing an experiment on their own," Kathryn answered simply.
"Thank you, sir," Cai turned to leave.
"Miss Rose," Cai turned back to her, "don't call me sir, and Ma'am only if it's crunch time, other wise, Admiral works just fine," Kathryn informed her loud enough so everyone heard.
"Yes Admiral," Cai responded with a salute and walked back to her seat in between Bill and Jesse to tell them what she found out. Only just a few minutes later, they walked up to her and gave her their first idea for a hypothesis. It was how to re-fertilize soil that had been savagely destroyed by chemical means, pertaining mostly to the kind of soil that would be found on planets in the section of space that was savagely destroyed by Cardassian, like Dorvan V, Chakotay's home planet. If they really found a way to re-fertilize the soil, that would mean so much for the people of the deterialization zone. And by the sounds of all of her other students, they had high-quality ideas also.
Class had ended, and all of her students had left. It hadn't been a bad first day. She was very happy about all of her classes, and hoped that her students were too. Kathryn really enjoyed Cai, Bill and Jesse today. They all seemed very serious about their work, but knew how to have fun with it at the same time. That was the kind of dedication Kathryn loved to find in others, because it was just like her.
While thinking about her first day of classes, Kathryn wandered out into the gardens of the Academy campus. Boothby was nearby, tending to his flowers. Kathryn didn't think that he would remember her, so she simply sat, enjoying the gorgeous afternoon.
"Kathryn Janeway," said an incredulous voice, "you've come to teach at the Academy and still haven't had enough decency to come say hello to me."
"Oh Boothby," Kathryn stood to give him a hug, "I didn't think that you would remember silly little me," Kathryn should have known better though.
"How could I ever forget the girl who stole a flower from my garden every day?" he asked, handing her a small, colorful bouquet of fragrant flowers.
"Huh, thank you!" Kathryn gasped, "I can't believe that you remembered!" Kathryn buried her nose amongst the petals, inhaling deeply, "thank you so very much."
"You're welcome, Kathryn. Feel free to come talk to me anytime, I miss our conversations. And as I see it, you have seven years of flower picking to make up for young lady."
Boothby walked away without another word, leaving Kathryn to her thoughts and admire her flowers and the old, spirited gardener that she was honored to call her friend. Life was starting to look up again for Kathryn Janeway.
Chakotay's day was over, so he decided to take a walk through the Academy gardens. Hopefully he would run into Boothby so that he could catch up with the old man.
As he searched the garden he saw Kathryn, his Kathryn. She was walking slowly, smelling a beautiful bouquet of flowers in her hands. She had that gently, beatific, ghost of a smile, and her eyes were looking around her softly, or staring at her flowers. Were they from a new lover? She used to get that look whenever he gave her something. Chakotay hadn't seen that look in a while, and it was his own fault, he knew it.
As quietly as he could he walked up behind her, "Kathryn?"
"Kathryn?" an unmistakable tenor voice asked from behind.
"Chakotay?" she spun around on a dime, eyes wide, and her peaceful mood shattered.
"Hi, how are you?" he looked at her carefully.
"I'm fine, how are you?" Kathryn was hoping he wouldn't ask her about that night in Sandrine's.
"Well, look, I really need to talk to you, do you have a minute?" he was looking at her with those puppy dog eyes that she couldn't resist. Kathryn glanced quickly down at his left hand, and there was no ring there. What did that mean? She let her curiosity win out over her head.
"Sure," she said and led him to a secluded bench off of the path: she didn't want to be over heard by any of her new cadets, "so what was it that you wanted to talk about?" she watched him take a deep breath before turning to her.
"Right after Seven and I had asked you to marry us, she and I were on our way to Dorvan V to visit my family, but she wouldn't get on the transport. She told me that we weren't right for each other, that we shouldn't get married, and finally, she told me that I was in love with someone else."
"She did?" Kathryn couldn't believe what seven had done. Although she was secretly a little happy, she was sad for Chakotay's loss. Kathryn just wanted him to be happy.
"Yes, she did, and I was furious with her for it. I spent about three weeks sulking on the shell of a planet that was my home. But then one day, I was out walking, and suddenly I couldn't breathe," Chakotay looked deep into her eyes, and Kathryn could hardly breathe, "and it was because I wanted to talk to you, to see you, and to make sure that you were alright and safe. I had realized how much I hurt you over the past few years, especially the last few months of our voyage, and I wanted to beg on my knees for you to forgive me," Chakotay slid to his knees in front of her, "Kathryn, could we ever be friends again? I'm so sorry for all that I've done, please give me another chance."
Chakotay's velvety smooth eyes stared at her into hers, and the storm of blue-grey swirled confusedly. He had hurt her deeply, and didn't know if she could just be his friend. But it was better than not having him in her life at all. She had missed him terribly, and she didn't want to give up on them just quiet yet.
"Say yes, Admiral!" she saw Bill and Cai walking by, and it must have been Bill who yelled it. They were grinning wildly as they walked around a bend in the path and out of sight. Chakotay was on his knees before her, they must have assumed that he was proposing.
"I'll reprimand them tomorrow," Chakotay said.
"I have them first block, so no need. I'll get them first," Kathryn smiled. She really couldn't live without him in her life. It was so easy to be around him, to be herself and act normal. She took a deep breath, "I've really missed you," she whispered, eyes shining with tears, "you're my other half. I don't know how I lived without you before Voyager. You healed a hole in my heart that I had learned to live with for too long. But then, after we returned, there was Seven…" she whipped tears away, "and my mom, she died. My sister was on the other side of the quadrant and couldn't make it for the funeral. When I needed you the most, you weren't there. I fell apart and had to figure out how to put myself together again. Chakotay, I can't get hurt like that again, I don't know how I'll live through it again. I've had to live through that kind of loss too many times for me to be able to survive it again."
"Kathryn, I'm so sorry that I wasn't here," he reached out and held her hands, "and I won't leave until you order me away," Kathryn gave him a watery half grin.
"Thank you," she mouthed, her throat was closed tight and she tried to not let the tears slip out of her eyes. Kathryn believed his words, no matter how much he had hurt her in the past, that was only because he always told her the truth. She leaned toward him and hugged him; burying her face in his shoulder and letting the tears slip out of her eyes.
"You are the most bestest friend I've ever had, Chakotay," Kathryn whispered.
"Kathryn, have dinner with me tonight?" he asked pulling away to look at her. They were so close right now. He cupped the side of her face with his hand. She couldn't let him kiss her right now, they needed to get to know each other again before they even considered moving further, if he really wanted too.
"Yes," she took his hand in hers, "I'm going to be at the Indiana farm house, so you can come by any time," Kathryn gave him her classic half grin while standing up and helping him to stand.
"I'll be there around four, is that a good time for you?" Chakotay released his dimples on her.
"Four sounds great," Kathryn replied as he enveloped her in another hug.
"See you at four," he confirmed, and with a kiss on her forehead, he left, leaving Kathryn to wander back home wither flowers.
She put them in a vase, and took them upstairs with her. Without thinking, she pulled out a simple blue dress out of her closet. She slipped it on and pulled half her hair back in a clip. She failed to notice until she was in front of her bathroom mirror that the dress she had on was the one that she had worn the last day on New Earth. Kathryn hadn't worn it since that day, and she figured today would be the perfect day to start wearing it again, seeing as she and Chakotay were starting to break the bonds of protocol again.
Just as Kathryn's foot hit the bottom stair and her Grandma's old grandfather clock started tolling the four o'clock hour, her door bell rang. Even though she and Chakotay had been apart for only barely thirty minutes, she couldn't wait to see him again.
"Hello there stranger," she said with a grin as she opened the door.
"Hey," Chakotay said. He was looked dashing in a pair of loose kakis, a long sleeved shirt and a jacket. He smiled at her, "you're still carrying around those flowers? Are they from a special someone you haven't told me about yet?" Kathryn looked at the flowers still in her hand.
"Oh, they're from someone special, but more like he's a father to me; besides, I have someone else in mind to be my special someone," she winked at him and then turned and walked into the kitchen to set her flowers down. Chakotay, of course, followed her.
"So who are these mystery friends you haven't told me about?" he asked from the door, slightly jealous but trying to not let it show.
"Boothby…"
"He's your lover?" Chakotay teased, knowing that that is not at all what she meant.
"No," she swatted at his arm, " he was a friend of my father's, and when my dad died, he took care of me when ever I was in San Francisco," she got a secret little smile on her face, " and when I was in the Academy, everyday I would always pick a flower for good luck, and to brighten my day a little. He knew, of course, but I was the only one he'd ever let do it."
"Oh, he was my boxing coach when I was in the Academy. He was like the father I never had because he supported me in all that I did," Chakotay revealed to Kathryn, "Look, Kathryn; I was wondering what was bothering you when we ran into each other at Sandrine's?"
She had her back to him, and leaned against the counter. He just had to ask that, didn't he? What would she tell him? Did she tell him the truth, or make something up? How could she tell him that she has depressed because he had just gotten married and she thought that she had lost him forever? She couldn't, at least, not now. Not when they were just getting to know each other again.
"I decided to go somewhere familiar to remember our arrival in the Delta Quadrant," she said. She knew that he didn't believe her, but she decided to try and distract him a little, "now can we get going? I'm famished."
"All right then, let's get going. We're going somewhere first. It's a surprise and no, I won't tell you were we're going."
"Oh, you're a spoil sport," Kathryn said, "at least let me guess," she said as she locked the door behind them.
"Am not, you're just very curious," Chakotay countered as they walked to the transport station. Chakotay snagged her hand as they strolled down the road. Kathryn turned, looking at him with a smile, and then they continued to walk.
"Kathryn?" Chakotay stopped them.
"Yes?" she looked at him. He twirled her around really quick.
"I like your dress," he pulled her along and they kept walking. Kathryn couldn't help but grin the whole way to wherever they were going.
She had no idea where Chakotay was taking her, but she trusted him and would follow him anywhere. He knew her too well, and he knew that she didn't care for surprises, but she knew him well enough to know that he would let her walk into a party without a warning. Chakotay would at least warn her that they were going to one and that she should act surprised when she walked in. He finally pulled her into an animal shelter.
"Chakotay, what are we doing here?" why would he take her to an animal shelter?
"Well, I want a dog, and I wanted your input on which one I would chose," he told her, "as my best friend, I figured you wouldn't mind," he smiled down on her.
"I don't, and thank you for including me," Kathryn smiled at him. She could never quite figure out how his mere presence made her smile, even when she wanted to mad at him.
"I'm glad," they were staring into each other's eyes when a feminine cough came from behind them.
"Admiral, Captain, can I help you with anything?" they both automatically recognized Cia's voice.
"Miss Rose?" Kathryn looked at the young woman; she was in a pair of faded jeans, a tank top and an unbuttoned flannel shirt.
"What are you doing here?" Chakotay asked.
"Well," Cai looked into the back where animal noises could be heard, "Bill, Jesse and I opened up this animal shelter three years ago after I discovered one of my neighbor's abusing one of her dogs. I had Bill and Jesse come with me to confront her about it, she dumped all six of them on us. Then the calls kept coming in about more strays, or cases of abuse."
"And that's when we bought this place and set up this shelter for dogs," Bill came up behind Cai and gave her a hug.
"So are you two engaged yet?" Jesse came through a door holding a small dog.
"No," both Kathryn and Chakotay said, and then Kathryn continued, "but it's none of your business if we were."
"Alright, Jesse, get over your crush on her!" Cai punched him in the arm.
"Ow!" he looked at Kathryn and Chakotay with horror stricken eyes, "do you see how she abuses me admiral?"
"No, I didn't see a thing," Kathryn said innocently, winking at Cai.
"So, you two here to see the dogs?" Bill asked.
"Yes," Chakotay answered.
"Alright, then follow us," Bill and Cai walked into the back room followed by Kathryn and Chakotay. They walked through the kennel seeing all sorts of dogs, and the young people told stories about the dogs that Kathryn and Chakotay had an interest in. In particular, Kathryn liked a young golden retriever who had been picked up in the middle of a snow storm.
"Just like Petunia," Kathryn commented to Chakotay.
"She is adorable," Chakotay crouched to scratch behind the dog's ear.
"What's her name?" Kathryn asked.
"Cody," Cai supplied, "We found her curled up under a willow tree one night when Bill was walking me home in January."
"What do you think of her Kathryn?" Chakotay asked, looking up at her, she crouched beside him to pet Cody.
"More importantly, what do you think of her?"
"I love her," he looked deeply into Kathryn's eyes, his words having an obvious double meaning.
"I love her too," Kathryn's eyes were soft as she looked from Chakotay to the four month old puppy.
"We'll take her," Chakotay told Cai and Bill.
"Good," Bill said with a smile, "we'll go to the front to fill out the paperwork really quick," as Chakotay filled out the paper work, Cai and Kathryn were getting everything for Cody.
"Here's her leash, and she'll eat just about anything, so you'll want to make sure she gets enough food so she won't tear up your house," Laura instructed.
"Thank you Ms. Rose, and not a word to the other cadets, please?" Kathryn said
"Of course," Cai replied.
"Thank you," she looked over at Chakotay, "Ready?"
"She's ours," Chakotay told her, "now let's go get some dinner," Chakotay ushered Kathryn and Cody out of the dog shelter.
"Do you think that there's something there?" Cai asked Bill.
"I would be surprised if there wasn't. Do you see the way she looks at him?" Bill asked.
"Yes, and who brings just a 'friend' with them to get a dog? Then refer to Cody as 'their' dog?" Cai and Bill shrugged, and then went back to work.
They were sitting outside of a quaint café, both eating salads and taking turns petting Cody as she came to them. They talked about everything and nothing, important topics and trivial matters. He told her of his family, and she spoke of how hers had been.
"Kathryn," Chakotay said in mock indignation, "quit eating my food."
"But your food always tastes better," she lamented as she stole another piece.
"We ordered the exact same thing," he pointed out.
"Well, they made yours better than mine," Kathryn stole another bite off of his plate. Chakotay rolled his eyes and laughed, and then stole some of Kathryn's food. Cody finally settled at Kathryn's feet, her warm body warming Kathryn's chilled toes. The day had turned out to be chillier than she expected.
"So Chakotay, what do you make of our three musketeers?" Kathryn asked.
"I think that what they're doing is admirable, and I would diffidently be interested in anonymously donating a very large sum of money to them," Chakotay said as he finished eating the rest of her salad and his.
"By any chance did you notice the ring on Miss Rose's wedding finger?" Kathryn sipped on her coffee, hoping that it would warm her up in the evening's chill.
"I didn't, you don't think that she and Bill are, well, they do have the same last name…" recognition clicked into his eyes as Kathryn nodded.
"Yes, I think that they're married."
"But where does Jesse fit in?" they both sat and pondered that for a minute.
"I truly believe," Kathryn started, "that they all started off as best friends, and although Laura and Bill love each other a little deeper, they view Jesse as their best friend and brother. Have you seen them during class?"
"Ya, they are all fairly close," Chakotay said, "I don't see any jealously coming from Jesse," he discreetly handed the waitress money as he and Kathryn were talking, "they truly are like a family, they remind me of B'Ellana, Tom and Harry, actually."
"Yes they do," Kathryn noted, "and don't think I didn't see that, I'll pay you back later," Chakotay rolled his eyes as they rose and left the café.
They found a nearby park to walk Cody in, both knowing the night should be coming to a close, yet afraid that if it did end, they would lose each other again. Kathryn visibly shuddered against the cool night air and her thoughts, which didn't go unnoticed by Chakotay.
"Here," he slipped his jacket off and helped her to put it on. Chakotay then pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Kathryn in turn snuggled in closer to his warm side as they walked.
"Thank you," she said quietly after a minute of comfortable silence.
"You're welcome," he said, holding her closer to him, not wanting this moment to ever end.
"Chakotay, as much as I'd love to spend all night walking with you, we have classes to teach in the morning," Kathryn pointed out regretfully.
"Alright, we'll walk you to the transporter station," Chakotay said, switching their direction. They took their time getting to the station, and were stuck standing there. Kathryn was on the top stair up to the transporter pad, and Chakotay right bellow her, both lost in each others eyes waiting for the other to make a move; she finally couldn't stand it any more and threw her arms around him in a tight hug.
"See you tomorrow, Chakotay," she said then letting him go just as suddenly as she had embraced him. She quickly shrugged off his jacket, threw it at him, and hurried onto the pad to beam home.
Once the blue light had faded from her eyes, she raced to get inside of her home before the dam of tears broke. She barely made it to the stairs once inside, he goal being her bed, before she couldn't go on. After spending all afternoon with him, she realized just how hard simply being his friend would be. Kathryn's love for that man ran deeper than she had thought, and she didn't know how to deal with it. It was a big part of her that she had been living with for the past seven years, and it had only just become apparent in the past few weeks that she needed him in her life. How can she go with seeing someone everyday for seven years, to barely getting a glimpse of him every few weeks? He didn't seem as though he wanted more than just a friendship, like a Jesse to her Laura, although she craved for a Bill. But would they be close like Jesse and Laura?
"Oh well Kathryn, get over it," she sat up and wiped away her tears, "At least he's still willing to be your friend." She started crawling up the stairs when her doorbell rang followed by incessant knocking. She stared at it wide eyed for a moment, before straightening, and trying to clean up her face as she descended the stairs and opened the door.
"Hello?" she said to the person on the other side. It was Chakotay. Kathryn smiled meekly, "Couldn't stay away?"
"Cody missed you," Chakotay's eyes told a different story. He had missed her.
"I missed Cody too," Kathryn wiped at her eyes again. Chakotay was there quickly, holding her and gently kissing her tears away.
"I should have never let you go Kathryn," he whispered fiercely, "No matter where I am, you're always on my mind. I wonder what you're doing, where you are, and if you're safe. I can't live not knowing any longer Kathryn," Chakotay laid his cheek on her hair.
"I love you," she whispered. Chakotay pulled back to look at her, and for a second, she feared that she had gone too far, but then she saw his eyes, so filled with love. He smiled at her.
"About time."