Remembering Alice

1942

There's something wrong with me. I know there is. I wake up at night, dizzy and confused… Flashes of those odd dreams flash through my mind. Dreams that for some reason keep coming true… Its insanity, I know it is but I can't escape it.

My name is Alice. I've never been like anyone else. I think I'm going crazy.

Sometimes I fall to the floor, foaming at the mouth as flashes of the dreams roll through my mind. I can never make them out exactly, but I know bad things happen. All the time… I need help, why won't anyone help me? All they do is lock me up here, in this room. I can't escape; the men in white tell me that I'm at SunView Asylum. But there is no sun; it's so dark here in this horrible room.

I want to speak, to scream for my mother, my brother but they gave me these pills; I can't move. I want to get out of here, they tell me that they want to help, but I know they can't this is how I've been since as long as I can remember. There's nothing they, or their shock therapy, can do for me

1932

Alice is eight years old. She is playing with her brother Thomas, he is six. They are running around upstairs, playing tag. Their little screams of joy are heard throughout the house. Suddenly everything is silent and then Thomas screams in terror as his sister falls to the ground and has her first seizure.

1942

I'm here because of my father. He was never around much, but then my mom had her accident the accident that I was blamed for, and he came back for good… He sent me away instead.

I'm here because of my dreams, the dreams that always haunt me even when I'm awake. I know they mean something, but when I tell the doctor he just takes me downstairs and hurts me. He puts wires on my head and pushes a button and… It's terrible. I know he doesn't like doing it. I can tell in his eyes. Sometimes I dream of him.

He is so very kind and very young for a doctor. His name is William Smith. Dr. Smith. He always keeps me company. He is extremely handsome, his eyes are golden and his hair is chestnut brown. He is very pale but I know it's because he spends all his days in this asylum.

He is so kind.

My eyes droop, the pills make me sleep. I hate sleeping, I see things. Terrible things. Massive flying machines crashing into two buildings, people screaming…people die all the time when I sleep, I don't know who they are and I can't help them. I wish I could, but I only see flashes. Dreadful flashes filled with blood.

I don't want to sleep but I drift anyways.

Darkness and then a man with blood red eyes stands before me, flashing sharp white teeth and laughing maniacally.

Everything goes black, I am running down a dark alley…Then I am flying.

Darkness and my entire body feels as though it's on fire.

The apologetic face of Dr. Smith and then nothing…

I wake up hours later to the soft touch of Dr. Smith I don't startle… I've been in darkness for a while; the dreams are far behind me.

He smiles at me. "How are you today Alice?"

I groan, "Horrible…but thanks for asking."

He laughs, "You know, sometimes I think you're too polite to be insane."

I laugh as well, I know there's something wrong with me and I accept it.

"Any news on my, er, condition?"

"Not really. We'll simply continue treatment and maybe the night terrors will go away. As for the seizures, well…Those will take some time."

I shudder at the word treatment; he grimaces and pats me on the shoulder,

"I'm so sorry Alice…About everything."

"It's alright Doctor…It's not you're fault."

"For the hundredth time Alice, call me Will."

"Oh right, I'm sorry…Will" I smile at the sound of his name.

Suddenly I remember my dreams, I begin to shake. Flashes of the man with the red eyes run through my mind. I faintly hear Will calling my name. I see a massive wave, people running. Tornadoes, houses being lifted off the ground, I hear the name Katrina being screamed. My entire body is on fire. Then everything stops.

Will is stroking my damp hair anxiously.

"Alice, Alice! Can you hear me? Alice?"

"Mmm?" I moan. His face is screwed up with worry.

"Thank God!" he says and hugs me tightly I blush, "Oh! I'm sorry…sorry…"

"Ts'ok…" I mumble, exhausted.

"Did you…see anything?"

"Yes." I reply numbly…I feel nauseated, I swiftly run to the small bathroom and throw up violently into the toilet.

Will is by my side in instant, muttering soothing things as he strokes my back. When I'm done he hands me a glass of water and helps me back to bed.

I'm so glad to have a friend here despite everything…

"Are you ok now?" he asks.

"I'm fine…You don't have to worry about me."

"Of course I do. That is, I want to worry…" He looks down to the white sheets.

"Well to be honest, I'm glad you do." I manage to smile. My face darkens immediately, the nurse walks in.

"It's time for your treatment dear." She says in a voice that betrays her fake smile.

I begin to get up when Will takes my shoulder and pushes me back down.

"I think we'll skip treatment today." He says in an intimidating voice. The nurse nods and closes the door.

We sit in silence for a while. I look around the dark room. Everything is white, but it does not help the darkness. One faint light shines from the small night table; illuminating Williams face. He makes up for it. The darkness, I mean. His eyes betray the slight smile on his ever so perfect lips, he is afraid. Afraid for me.

I lift up my small hand to touch his cheek. He is so cold, yet soft. He brings up his hand to cover mine and sighs a melancholic sound. We stay like that for a long time.

"Alice?" asks in a whisper

"Yes?" I breathe.

"Why are you here?"

I take my hand off his cheek. I've never told him about my flashes in great detail, especially not the ones about him… My story is known by no one except my father and brother.

I take a deep breath. I know that my Will would never betray me, and I'm sure not only because he is nice to me… It's because… The dream that I had last night, the one about him; I've been having ever since I was eight years old...