Author's Note: This started out as a story about them selling their souls and finding each other because of that. However, I couldn't come up w/ a case that L would have to solve when he sees Light, who was most likely either framed or just a suspect. Hehe... -_-; Anyways, I was thinking about a story I had recently read where L is asked what's the one thing he looks for in a partner. His answer? A penis. That being said, I thought that line ((or something similar to it)) would be hilarious if, say, Light pretended to be a girl on a, say, dating website...Kyahaha...So, that idea evolved into L has to solve a case revolving around that and somehow got pushed into this story.

To sum up? I have turned a hilarious, angsty, weird, supernatural story into a hilarious, angsty, hilarious, weird, supernatural, hilarious crack story. Never in my life have I written actually crack. Wish me luck!

Warning: Yaoi, adult themes...if you know what I mean....; age smudging ((Light: 18, L: 21))

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. If I did, maybe Light would cross-dress...at least for L....However, I do own this idea, and all of it.

Sell My Soul for Your Heart

Chapter 1

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Devil Files

Name: Light Yagami

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Partner: Misa Amane, female, age 19, three years together

Occupation: Student, freshman at Harvard Law School

Deepest Secrets: His actual homosexuality (current partner suggests otherwise); wishes to be dominated just once; loves to cross-dress

Complaints: Hates partner; bored

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Light stared down at the cupcake Misa handed him. A single candle was lit, propped in the center. The pink wax was dripping onto the red and white frosting. Doesn't the girl know I hate sweet things?

"Happy birthday, Light!" Misa squealed happily. She loved her boyfriend with all her heart and worked hard on making him a delicious birthday treat…But failed miserably and bought him a cupcake at the bakery instead. At least she got him something!

Light was used to her affection. They had been dating for a few years now and nothing really changed. It was a monotonous, annoying relationship. Misa doted over him and Light complied. After all, who in their right mind would break up with a famous teen model? And an older woman at that? Plus, he could have sex with her whenever he wished. She never complained. She loved Light and lusted after him too. Light didn't enjoy being with her, but she was rich, famous, and got rid of any sexual tension he had. What's not to like?

Her brains. Or lack there-of.

She was not very bright and was a terrible cook. They added up into her taking Light out to expensive restaurants and expecting him to pay because she was the one that got them the reservation, no matter how crowded it was, because of her status. While they ate, she talked about her day and Light nodded and gave short replies when needed.

Sadly, even if he had sex with her anytime he wanted, it wasn't as if he enjoyed it too much. After all, she was just a stupid girl. Light personally thought that making love with other men—though not yet able to experience it—would be so much better. He could never tell Misa that every couple they passed, he was staring at the guy, not the girl. She went ballistic and thought he was cheating on her by checking out other girls. Well, he was checking out other people, but not the girls.

And Misa just didn't understand his needs. In spite of everything, he had a reputation to hold up and letting everyone think he's heterosexual was one of the key things in that rep. Light wanted to remain popular, wanted to keep up his image. And Misa was one of the ways he could. Still, she was annoying, obnoxious, and an idiot.

And if his boredom with Misa wasn't enough, he didn't even have school to look forward to. Light understood everything easily and aced all his classes since grade school. He thought college was going to be a challenge and he was even able to study what he really wanted to: criminal law. However, everything was just as boring and there were no intellectual pupils in sight.

Life was just not treating him well.

"Thanks, Misa," Light smiled politely at the girl.

Well, there was one thing that he liked about life. Even if he was a guy, and wished to keep his genitals, he still loved dresses. Yes, that's right: Light loved to cross-dress. He had a secret compartment in the back of his closet that housed all his woman's clothes and accessories, along with some make-up as well, for when he had a lot of time on his hands. When he was alone at home, homework done, and Misa out of his hair, the brunet liked to dress up like a woman for a little while and admire his reflection. Yes, he admired himself wearing anything…or nothing…but even more so when wearing the frilly clothes…minus pink. Pink was Misa's favorite color and he hated it as much as he hated her.

Nobody knew about this and he wanted to keep it that way. There was no way he would be accepted by anyone if people found out. His reputation would be shattered. But even so, he was still bored by everything. He wanted someone to know about him, about his secret, about all his deepest secrets…

He took the cupcake in his hand and was about to blow out the candle when Misa cried, "Don't forget to make a wish!"

Light sighed. Right, he needed to make a wish, like tradition. However, all his life, he'd been wishing for excitement and never got it. What would make his eighteenth birthday wish any different? Silently chuckling, realizing he couldn't take the boredom any longer, he made the stupidest mistake of his life. In his mind, he recited words that he never knew he knew. It was the only thing he could think up that might actually work, and he was just completely desperate.

I'd sell my soul for some excitement, something to ease this boredom.

Author's Note: How'd you like it? I know this was a lot shorter than my norm chapter length, but I kept going back and adding things...I think it's okay, don't you?

Author questions ((please answer them in your review if you would be so kind!)):

1. How do you like the idea of having those "Devil Files" at the beginning of each chapter. There's ones for Misa and L, obviously, but I will make more for, say Soichiro, Sayu...Matsuda if you guys want! Even Matt and Mello...

2. Which brings me to question 2. Should Matt and Mello be together? I can't tell you anything else about how their characters appear, but remember: L's not the famous L. He's a private detective, who doesn't have an orphanage full of successors...And should Near even make an appearance? OH WAIT! I GOT IT! Hehehe...Never mind about that then.

3. Do you think Misa should sell her soul for something? What about Matsuda? He will be working for Light's dad, I can tell you that. Light's fam is pretty much the same as in Death Note, so don't worry about that. So, should L and Light be the only soul sellers or should others do it to? I will tell you Matt, Mello, and Near will not sell their souls. End of story.

4. I want Ryuk to appear, how should he? He isn't the devil, I already have that planned out. You guys decide please!

5. Any suggestions? Any other side notes? Any words at all?!

Thanx for reading and reviewing! I love all you guys!
~Zena