Title: Things Overheard
Series: Gundam Wing
Author: Snow Tigra, Jo-san, JHjart
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: *snickers*
Warnings: all random weirdness
Spoilers: none
Archive: Fanfiction.net
Recipe for this fic: included at the end.

Things Overheard

Trowa, Wufei and Quatre all looked up from their place on the couch in front of the TV as the front door to the apartment opened. Duo stumbled in first; a wide grin painted across his face while Heero followed holding a plastic bag that looked rather full. Immediately the pair removed their shoes and headed for the bathroom. The trio on the couch watched quietly in question but all shrugged and went back to watching their show.

It wasn't long before they started to hear voices drifting back from the bathroom around the corner.

"You think we should close the door?"

"No, with the lack of air it'll get too hot."

"Ok, well then do we have everything?"

There was the sound of ruffling paper and plastic. Wufei discretely started searching for the remote to the TV to turn it up, he had no desire to over hear what might be happening in that bathroom.

"Oh good, you found the list. Let me see… comb?"

"Check."

"Bowl?"

"Check."

"Old shirt?"

"Check."

"Plastic bag?"

"Check."

"Vaseline?"

Quatre's eyes widened slightly and he glanced toward the hallway leading toward the bathroom in question.

"Check."

"Rubber band?"

"Check."

"Rubber gloves?"

Trowa raised a surprised eyebrow.

"Check."

"Ok, that's everything, now…" There was the squeaking of a faucet and water splashed against the bathtub. Wufei finally succeeded in finding the remote control and fumbled for the volume buttons. He paused as the water shut off.

"Wet enough?"

"Yeah."

Some plastic crackled and then there was a very distinct sound. The sound of someone snapping on a rubber glove. Wufei choked on his intake of air and dropped the remote in surprise.

"Ha ha, very funny Heero."

"Hn."

"Where's the bottle? Oh there. Umm… it looks a little small, you know?"

"It'll work."

"Ok, heh, pour it on."

"Forgetting something?"

Quatre reached for his cup of tea and tried desperately to concentrate on the show on the TV, but was failing miserably. One look around told him the other two were also listening to that bathroom conversation; the show on the TV had been completely forgotten.

"Oh yeah, Vaseline. Ummm… you better do it or I'm gonna mess it up."

Quatre quickly set down his cup of tea before he dropped it from shock. Vaseline and rubber gloves? What in the world were those two doing in the bathroom that would require such things? Part of him wanted to stand up and find out, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Ok, now what?"

"The bathtub."

"Its all wet, should I take my pants off?"

"No, this way."

"We're still going to get the tub all dirty."

"We'll clean it later."

"Ok."

Silence followed for a few moments, shattered only once by the sound of a second rubber glove snapping onto someone's hand. In the living room no one moved. Leaving the living room and crossing to any other room meant passing the bathroom and neither had the desire to do so. So they all just sat there, listening quietly and trying to figure out what the heck was going on.

"Oh god this shit smells."

Trowa smirked quietly and turned to Quatre. "Quatre, you still have your tape recorder?"

Quatre nodded. "But I can't get it. It's in my underwear drawer."

Wufei's eyebrows shot up. "What in the world are you doing with a tape recorder in your underwear drawer, Quatre?" he whispered.

Trowa shrugged. "He talks in his sleep."

"I do not!" Protested Quatre.

"Ok fine. You sing in your sleep. A week ago I woke up to you singing the words to some old earth song. Something like "I'm too sexy for my mecha-"

Quatre slapped his hand over Trowa's mouth. "Trowa!"

Wufei sweatdropped and looked away quickly. "Never mind, forget I asked."

Meanwhile the silence from the bathroom had stopped and the two other pilots were talking again.

"You got everything in?" From the echo of his voice, it was obvious that Duo's face was low in the tub. Wufei quickly retrieved a Kleenex, twisting it in his hands as he resisted the urge to stand up and yell at them.

"Hai."

"For how long?"

"Fifteen."

"Heero! That's too long, I don't want to stay like this that long!"

"Deal with it, this was your idea."

"Yeah, yeah."

Silence once again.

Quatre looked around the room and finally decided on standing up, crossing the living room to browse through the huge pile of movies that belonged to Duo. In reality his eyes didn't even read any of the titles; he just needed something to keep himself occupied as he listened. He hated eavesdropping but couldn't help it. After all, wasn't it their fault for leaving the bathroom door open so they could all hear?

Trowa leaned back on the couch and tried his best to pay attention to the flashing images on the TV, but if someone had asked him what he was watching he wouldn't have been able to respond. He shouldn't have cared what they were doing, but his imagination was running wild, and the mental images… enough said.

Wufei fidgeted on his side of the couch and picked up a magazine, aimlessly shifting through the pages. After a moment he glanced at the other two boys. "Someone should go tell them to shut the door," he murmured softly.

Quatre and Trowa both looked up at Wufei and all three sets of eyes drifted in the direction of the hall leading to the bathroom.

"I can't flip over so don't even ask." Came the voices again.

Quatre's eyes went wide and he shook his head. "Not me."

"Its there own business if they want to leave the door open." Trowa agreed, his eyes moving back to the TV.

Wufei let out a sigh of defeat and sunk into the couch with a rather pissed off and annoyed expression.

"Ahh… Heero how much longer?"

"Hn."

"Come on, please! Tell~~ me!"

"Done."

"Ahhhh, yes! Man, it feels good to be up again. That position is painful, you know?"

"Over here."

There was the sound of water rushing and Duo's sighing happily. Quatre picked up one of the movies and pretended to read the back.

"Oh that feels good! Woah, Heero, look, the water's all red!"

Quatre dropped the movie and it clattered into the pile, causing them all to spread across the floor.

"All done!"

The water shut off and the next thing they knew Duo had bounded into the living room, completely naked save for the towel around his waist. Wufei coughed loudly, his cheeks growing red while Quatre dropped the tapes he'd been attempting to rearrange back into what Duo normally called order.

"Well, guys? How does it look?" Duo spread his arms wide, the grin widening across his face.

That comment made even Trowa's cheeks grow red with embarrassment.

Duo glanced at his three fellow plots and his grin wilted slightly. "Aren't you going to say something?"

"What are we supposed to say, Duo?" Quatre murmured.

"The hair, Quatre, how does the hair look!?"

Quatre's eyebrows shot up and his jaw dropped. Now that Duo mentioned it he noticed a light red tint to Duo's normally chestnut colored hair. "You... colored your hair?"

"Yeah!" Duo smirked. "What did you guys think we were doing?"

All three boys looked away from Duo as their cheeks grew bright red. Duo just laughed and turned back toward the bathroom.

"Hey Heero! They like it! Now its your turn, how about electric blue?"

"Baka," came Heero's voice back from the bathroom.

"Oh come on Heero!" Duo raced back toward the bathroom.

"No." A second later there was the sound of the bathroom door slamming and Duo snickering uncontrollably as he drifted into the bedroom.

Wufei stood up and cleared his throat, smoothing the wrinkles from his tank top. "I'm going to take a walk, you two care to join me?"

Both Quatre and Trowa nodded quickly and all three left the apartment post haste.

Duo could still be heard from the bedroom laughing his ass off as the three disappeared down the hall and exited onto the street.

The end.


Recipe for this fic:

We were going to color Jo-san's hair bright pink, but we forgot the rubber gloves and Vaseline. Let me tell you, two girls walking up to the counter of a drug store to buy a perfectly innocent pair of rubber gloves and Vaseline get some really strange looks from the workers. *snickers*