This is only half of the story. My husband bought me a new laptop and I didn't want to transfer this document over to my new one so I publishing what I have so far. It is a total of 20 chapters.
Most of you that have read my other stories know that I battle Bipolar and to me writing is my therapy. I take what I call snapshots from my life and turn it into a creative writing pieces. This story has been very therapeutic for me because my husband and I just had the most trying time in our 8 year marriage. July 27th, I found out that I was pregnant. You are probably saying so what? But after I had my twins in '09, I had my tubes tied. So you can just imagine our shock to find out that I was 5 months pregnant. I was placed on bedrest because it was a very high risked pregnancy. I was scared and nervous. The last time I gave birth, I was 29 and I almost died. Now I was 35. During my bedrest time, I wrote this story. My husband was mostly distant during the pregnancy because he didn't want to get close to the baby. He was loving and attentive towards me but he never wanted to bond with the baby because of the risks. There was a chance that it would be a life or death decision and he was going to choose me because he and our other three children needed me more. I gave birth to a beautiful boy on Oct 12th. He was a few weeks premature but very healthy. We have a 7 year old son, 6 year old twin son and daughter and a newborn son. I named him Kenneth after my father. Even after his birth, my husband was still kind of distant from the baby. Most people that I would tell this to would look at me like I was crazy because he did everything I needed him to for me and the baby. But I know my husband and the type of father he is. After 3 weeks, I became agitated and upset. I decided to force his hand. I went out with my two best friends leaving him to take care of all of the children alone. I didn't come home until late. When I got home, I found my husband and our 4 children in our California King bed asleep. I put my oldest and the twins in their bed but something special happened when I tried to move the baby. My husband woke up and told me that he had him. I almost cried when he snuggled up to him. Since then it has been my boy this and my boy that. I didn't even get upset at the Dallas Cowboys onesie he put him on Thanksgiving even though I am a Saints fan. He told me that he felt guilty for not bonding with him while I was pregnant but he never would have been able to choose if he had. After he was born the guilt slowly ate away at him until that night he realized that none of that matters. He had another son and it was his job to raise him right.
So even though this is only half of the story please bear with me I will finish it. I love Olitz but my husband has always been my muse. Kerry was right, "Good Fathers are sexy." I hope you enjoy it. I hope to finish in the next few months.
It was New Year's Eve. To most people, it is a day of reflection. It's the day you make promises or resolutions for the next year. It is something that you wish to do better. For Olivia Pope, it was no different. She had made a few resolutions that she would hope to make her a better, more productive person in the New Year.
After a very heartbreaking breakup last May, Olivia had been surviving but not living. She will be the first to admit that it shattered her to core. She found out that her boyfriend of two years had been sleeping with her cousin while she was away in New York at college. She had planned on returning to Connecticut to be with him after she graduated from NYU. Two weeks before graduation, she came home unexpectedly and went by her aunt's house. She walked in on her cousin and her boyfriend making out on the couch. Apparently, it had been going on for a while. Olivia left Connecticut that day vowing never to return. She graduated from college with her Bachelor's Degree in Music Education. She and her roommate, Abby, got an apartment in Manhattan. She is now a music teacher at Xavier High School in Manhattan. Without her job, she had no reason to get up in the mornings. Thanksgiving and Christmas break were the hardest times for her. After her mom died, her aunt raised her but she felt betrayed by her family. She couldn't go home and face them across the dinner table. Her aunt tried to talk to her many times but she never accepted her phone calls. Abby would force her to go out with her and her boyfriend, Stephen, but she just wanted to be left alone. She was a true introvert. Most of her time was spent watching TV, reading or practicing music.
But right now she was back in Stamford, Connecticut on New Year's Eve. Abby and the rest of her friends went to Times Square to watch the ball drop. But Liv made a resolution. Actually she made several resolutions. Her main focus this year was going to be self-improvement. She remembered Abby laughing at her when she told her that she was going to be celibate for the entire year. After Abby calmed down from her laughing fit, she asked her if she was serious. Liv was very serious. No dates, no men and no sex for the entire year. She didn't tell Abby this but she was so serious that she had her IUD removed. She wanted to commit to it wholeheartedly.
But that resolution is not why she was back in Connecticut sitting in her car outside of an assisted living facility. She was here to visit her father. After her mother died, her father lost his mind. He was diagnosed with PTSD. Liv tried to help him but a part of her always blamed him for her mother's death. She felt that she lost both her parents the day her mother died. After a year of trying to help him, her father was committed to a mental institution. That was when she moved in with her aunt. She was a freshman in high school when she moved in with her father's sister. She tried to be a normal teenager but she couldn't. She always found solace in her music. Her mother taught her how to play the piano when she was a younger. She would practice for hours and sing all kinds of songs. Liv was truly talented and an amazing singer. It was no surprise when she got a music scholarship to NYU.
After her father was released from the institution, he was moved to this facility. A year ago, they discovered early signs of dementia. Liv felt like life was playing a cruel joke on her. She would travel the hour ride from New York to see him every other weekend. She would spend an hour or so with him. Sometimes he knew who she was and other times he didn't. Those were the hardest times. She would also spend time with her boyfriend during those weekends as well. She had gotten an emergency call in May saying that her father was having a really bad day. She knew what that meant. She rushed to be by his side. After she was able to calm him down, that was the day she walked in on her cousin and boyfriend.
Her other resolution was to visit her father more. No one outside of Abby and her family knew about her father. When people would ask about her parents, she would just say that they both were dead. She finally got out the car and walked into the building. It was pretty late but some residents were still walking around hoping to bring in the New Year with a bang.
She took the elevator up to the third floor. She smiled as she passes people in the hallway. She walked up to the nurse's station and saw a familiar face.
"Hey, Shirley!"
The nurse looks up from her desk, "Hey Liv! Long time no see. Happy New Year!"
Liv smiles, "Happy New Year to you. Sorry I haven't been around. Life happened you know."
She shakes her head, "Honey, believe me, I know."
Liv looks down the hall at her father's door which is open. She turns back to Shirley and she is almost afraid to ask, "Is he-"
Shirley smiles, "Today is a good day."
She releases a breath and the tension slowly leaves her shoulder. She tells Shirley bye and walks to her father's room. She knocks on the door and sees him sitting on the couch watching TV. "Hey dad."
Eli Pope looks up to see his only child standing in his room, "Liv, what are you doing here?"
She walks over and hugs him before joining him on the couch, "I wanted to come and see you. I have been so busy but I promise I will start back visiting you regularly."
He pats her hand, "I am glad. Your Aunt Dot was here earlier. You just missed her."
She was actually glad that she did. She chose to ignore her father's statement and decided to change the subject, "What are you watching?"
He points to the TV, "They are having this party in Times Square. I thought you might be there. I was hoping to see you."
She gives him a genuine smile, "Well I am right here so you don't need to look for me on TV."
He takes her hand and kisses it, "So what's been going on with you lately?"
She sighs, "Life is going. I have a great job. I am over the music department at the school. The Gospel Choir is going to sing at Carnegie Hall in May for the end of the year celebration. My kids are excited. We have been practicing like crazy but I think they will be ready. Abby and I have a nice two bedroom apartment in the city. We live a few doors down from Abby's boyfriend which means she is hardly in the apartment. I got a second job the other day. I was walking by this club and they were looking for a female lounge singer. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and give a try. I auditioned and was hired on the spot. So I will be alternating weekends with the male singer and some nights we will do duets but I think I am going to enjoy it."
Her father looked at her pridefully, "You always had a beautiful voice. You get that from your mother. I really wish you would reconsider going back to the church. You had the voice that would make angels sing."
She knew this was coming, "Dad, you know that I can't. I haven't sung in church since Mom died. It's just too hard for me right now. But I am still using my voice."
He nods his head, "I know you are. Your mother would be proud. What about your love life?"
She gave him a pointed look, "What about it?"
He swallowed, "Dot told me what happened between Edison and Tina. She swears that she didn't know it was going on. She says you won't return her calls or come by the house any more. She is really worried about you. Are you seeing anyone?"
She takes a deep breath, "No dad, I am not seeing anyone. And rather Aunt Dot knew or not, I really don't care anymore. I am just trying to live my life. I wish Edison and Tina all the happiness in the world. Right now, I am just want to focus on becoming a better person and spending time with you. Is that too much to ask?"
He smiles, "No, it's not. How about playing a game of chess with your old man?"
She smiles, "You got it dad."
X X
Fitzgerald Grant III sat in the living room of his parents' house in Albany, NY. Normally he would complain about being there on New Year's Eve. He would complain about not hanging with his friends on this day and getting wasted. He would complain about being cooped up and missing out on the fun. Normally that's what he would do. But this year has been anything but normal.
Six months ago his world was shattered. Six months ago life punched him in the gut and he honestly doesn't know if he could recover. Six months ago, his father died of colon cancer. That rocked him to his core. He idolized his father. He had the world's greatest father. His father taught him what it meant to be a man. It was in April when they discovered his father had stage four colon cancer. The doctors gave him a month to live. But his father was extraordinary. He lived for two months. He said only God can tell him when it was time. Fitz took a leave of absence from his job to look after his parents. He made a promise to his father that he would take care of his mother.
Even though normally, he would complain about playing Gin Rummy with his mother at 10 pm on New Year's Eve instead of being with his friends, he couldn't be happier to spend this time with her. He worried about her constantly. She was with his father for over 30 years. He would see her crying some days when she missed him especially around the holidays. He read different grief books and he saw her going through the five stages of grief. The book also said the first six months were usually the hardest. She was getting better. She was finally at the acceptance stage. He felt it was time for him to go back to work. He would be leaving in a few days to head back to New York City where he worked as a Construction Engineer. He promised that they would talk daily and he would come and see her every other weekend. She actually encouraged him to go. She wanted him to return to the land of the living. He gave up his apartment when he moved back home but his friend Stephen was going to allow him to room at his place.
So here he sits smiling while he watches his mother cheat because she hates to lose. All he can think is he wishes his father was here now.
He laughs at her, "You know if you are going to cheat, you could try to be more subtle about it."
His mother waves him off, "Now, Fitz, I don't cheat. I am just trying to increase my odds of winning."
He rolled his eyes, "Wow, mom. That is a new one."
She chuckled, "Sue me." She got her cards together in her hand, "You know you have a much better chance a meeting a nice young girl and settling down if you were out and about instead of sitting here with me."
He sighed, "Well, I actually prefer to sit here with you instead of being out." He paused to look at his cards, "Besides, I think I am going to take some time away from the dating scene. I need to get my head together before I try to be with someone."
"Fitz, your father wouldn't want you wasting your life away worrying about me. He would want you to date and live."
"I am living mother. I am going back to work soon. I am going to room with Stephen until I can get back on my feet and afford a place of my own. I just don't want to be in a relationship right now."
She laid her cards down, "Gin!" She smiled as he realized he had lost. "You know, Fitz, I will tell you something I learned a long time ago. Life doesn't always go according to your plans. The special thing about love is it can hit you when you least expected."
He scoffed, "Well, I seriously doubt that will happen to me."
She shuffled the cards, "Never say never."
They played and talked until it was close to midnight. Fitz poured them a glass of champagne from the collection of alcohol his parents brought back from their last cruise. They did the New Year's countdown together. Once the ball lit up '2015' they screamed "Happy New Year" and toasted to surviving the worst year of their lives. Fitz hugged his mother as she cried. He looked up to the heavens and silently made a promise to his father that he would make sure that she was all right.
Meanwhile in Stamford, CT, Liv bends down over the bed of her sleeping father and kisses him on the cheek, "Happy New Year's Dad."
She tucks the blanket under his body and looks at him a minute before she leaves. She wishes Shirley good night and makes the drive back to New York. She had goals and resolutions that she was determine to keep. She had a plan and no one was going to change that.
X X
The Saturday after New Year's, Liv came back home from rehearsal at the lounge. She met her band and background singers. They went over a few songs and she felt good about working there. She missed singing in public. She sung all the time at school and she helped her students reach ranges and octaves they never knew they could. But it was something different about performing music and songs that you feel in your soul. She and her mother always sung in church and at home. Her father and others tried to encourage her to go back to the church but they never understood that her heart was no longer in it.
She walked into the apartment to find Abby taking cookies out of the stove.
"Hey Liv, how did everything go?"
She put her things down on the counter, "It went well. I can't wait to perform next week. We have one more rehearsal on Wednesday but it's going to be great."
Placing the cookies on a plate, Abby smiled, "Well you know that I will be there opening night. I love to hear you sing. You have an amazing voice."
"Thanks, Abby. What are those cookies for?"
"They are for Stephen and his new roommate. He has been friends with this guy for a while but he fell on some hard times and Stephen is letting him stay with him until he gets back on his feet. I decided to bake some cookies as a welcome gesture."
Liv took a cookie from the plate, "Look at you, Miss Susie Homemaker."
Abby smirked, "Yeah, yeah. You are coming with me to meet this guy so put your shit up and I am not hearing no for an answer. You need to get out of this apartment for something besides going to work."
Liv rolled her eyes and walked away, "Yes, dear. Give me a few minutes to change. I have all these damn layers on from being outside in the freaking snow."
Abby yells when she walks away, "Hurry up!"
Ten minutes later, Liv is standing with Abby outside of Stephen's door. It is convenient that they live 3 doors down. Liv was wearing jeans with her boots and yellow long sleeve front cross blouse. Abby had recently gone through Liv's closet and taken away all of her black clothes. She refused to let Liv mourn a dead relationship anymore. Liv wore her hair down and straight. She normally wore it curly on weekends but she wanted to make a good impression at the lounge.
Abby knocked on the door and Stephen smiled as he opened it to allow them in. He gave Abby a kiss as she walked pass. He spoke to Olivia and they exchanged pleasantries.
They walked into the kitchen to find a handsome guy in blue jeans and muscle shirt drinking a glass of water. To say that he was hot would be the understatement of the year. Liv and Abby exchanged a look before Stephen got his attention.
"Fitz, my man. I want you to meet my girlfriend, Abby Whelan and her roommate, Olivia Pope. Girls this is one of my best friends, Fitzgerald Grant III."
Fitz said hello and shook hands with Abby. When he touched Liv's hand, a shot of electricity went through his body. The only thing he could think to say was, "Hi."
Liv felt it as well. She was getting lost in his eyes, "Hi." Her voice spoke in a whisper. She quickly moved her hand out of his to get her bearings.
Abby presented the cookies, "I baked these as a welcome gift. I am from the south and we believe in welcoming our neighbors."
Fitz took the plate and smiled, "Thank you Abby. I really appreciate it. Chocolate Chips are my favorite." He took one before offering one to Stephen who gladly accepted one. He looked at Olivia and offered one to her but she declined. It was something sweet and innocent in the way he offered it that made her take notice.
Abby did most of the talking as Liv seemed to have lost her voice. She found out that Fitz was from upstate New York and he worked in construction. They spent about 30 minutes there before leaving the boys so that Fitz could get finished settling in.
Once they were back in the safety of their apartment, Liv breathe a sigh of relief.
Abby looked at her and smirked, "A year of celibacy. The way you looked at that guy you will be lucky to make it past this month."
Liv chuckled, "I don't know what you are talking about. Besides I never said I wasn't going to be tempted. But it is important not to yield to temptation."
Abby smiled, "I bet you $50 bucks that you won't last six months with this celibacy thing. If you make it to the end of June, I will pay because technically, it has already been six months since you had sex. So I will give you the benefit of doubt and count that as a year." She extended her hand.
Liv shook it, "You are on. I hate to tell you this but I never make a bet unless I know I can win."
Abby smiled and shook her head, "It's a first time for everything. Besides you should never say never."
Liv walked away, "We shall see."
Abby said quietly to herself, "We most definitely will."