John Constantine had had too much to drink. He sat alone in the common room of the lair, lounging ungracefully on the sofa, one leg outstretched over the arm rest and a practically empty bottle of something-or-other in his left hand, scraping along the floor. It was very late; at least after three in the morning he guessed and all was unnervingly quiet….. except for in his head, of course.
The events of the night played over and over in his head; the disgusting sod they had encountered with his murdering and marriage of child brides, his talk with Manny about the rising darkness, and more prominently, seeing Zed and Jim Corrigan kiss in the bar just as he'd arrived. It was by far what should have been the most unimportant thing of the night and yet it was easily becoming all he could think about.
It bothered him that it even bothered him; he thought he had done a pretty good job of keeping Zed at a distance and even though he knew he'd always been attracted to her and cared about her, he never let himself realize just how much until that moment. It had been a gut-punch that he wasn't nearly expecting and John Constantine prided himself on never being surprised; thus, the extra bottle of something-or-other that he raised to his lips and polished off before letting it clang, roll, and echo across the hard, wooden floor.
The noise must have been louder than he thought, for it was less than a minute later that he heard the small scuffle of a door opening and then the creaking of small feet coming down the hall toward him.
Zed.
He hadn't seen her since she'd looked up at him at the bar, just after the kiss, with something in her eyes that he couldn't quite place. He wasn't sure he even wanted to.
"John?" she said, coming into the room with bleary eyes and her curls wilder than usual. "Are you okay? I heard a noise."
John straightened up, pulling a cigarette from the pack in his breast pocket and lighting it while he answered her a little too casually. "Oh hello there luv, I didn't mean to disturb you. I'm sure you've had all kinds of adventures tonight that require you to have a decent nights sleep. Please be sure and give Jim my regrets if I've awoken the love birds."
The bleariness from Zed's eyes faded quickly and a look of remorse and then anger flashed simultaneously across her face.
"Jim is not here John," was all she said, her voice slightly trembling.
John stood up, stretching dramatically, and taking a long drag from his smoke. "A shame, that is. You too seemed to hit it off so well tonight. Well I'm sure there will be other opportunities for you two to have some alone time. We'll don't mind me. I'll just be taking care of the mundane things, like saving the world and all the souls of mankind. But you two go on."
Zed marched angrily across the room, closing the gap between them, her eyes blazing with frustration. "How dare you? What gives you the right-?"
He laughed without being amused and could feel regret in his chest for his part in this entire conversation, she didn't deserve this he knew, but he still pressed further, staying in the characters skin he wore so well.
"Nothing right about me dear, nothing at all. Though I do wonder if you told poor Jim about your vision of him dying before you let him put his hands all over ye? "
Zed stepped towards him, her hand outstretched as if she would slap him and then stopped, apparently having second thoughts at the movement.
Instead her eyes changed as she took him in, she appeared confused and then had a look of understanding.
"Why does it bother you so much John?" she crossed her arms as she carefully studied his face waiting for his answer.
John grimaced and derisively sniffed. "It doesn't. You can bloody do whatever and whoever you like."
Zed stepped closer to him, allowing only a few inches between them. She studied his face with such intense scrutiny so that even in his drunken state he could barely stand her gaze. She said nothing, which made him extremely uncomfortable.
He decided this conversation had become a very bad idea.
"If you'll excuse me luv, I've got to get some rest myself. The darkness isn't going to fight itself," he said off-handedly trying to edge away from her and head towards the opposite hall to his bedroom.
He backed up a few feet and stumbled awkwardly over the bottle he had let roll along the floor and Zed reached out and grabbed his forearm to steady him, below the cuff where the crisp sleeve of his white shirt was rolled up exposing his skin.
There.
She felt it. She felt the jealousy, the hurt, the longing he felt for her and it almost knocked her down, like a physical wave of emotion strong with intensity and tasting of whiskey.
John felt a surge of anger as he knew in that moment she would see how he felt when all he had intended to do was hide it from her. He grabbed both her wrists and held them down at her sides with force, his face close to hers baring a murderous scowl.
"I've told you before, it's not polite to look under someone's hood without asking and I sure as hell don't remember asking you."
Zed looked regretful but only for a moment. She was still reeling from the surge of emotion she'd felt from him.
"John…..," her big brown eyes shined up at him. He blinked through drunken eyes and saw something etched on her face that he was both elated and horrified to see; desire.
"Don't," he told her. "Just don't." He released his grip on her and started to walk away.
Zed moved to follow him.
He stopped and held his hand out, palm outstretched in a stopping gesture.
Zed spoke quietly. "Jim isn't who I want."
Constantine shook his head and continued to back away. "Bloody hell, look, I'm sorry for cracking some jokes, I apologize, I've drank too much and I can't think straight. I'm going to bed and I suggest you do the same."
He turned and left the room without glancing back.
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