Priorities
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me. It belongs to its respective creators and authors. The characters, ideas, and settings do not belong to me.
Warning: Rated for language and dark themes. Serious angst is involved. It contains yaoi. Don't like, don't read.
Pairings: 1x2 1xR
Duo POV
Like is said, it's on the angsty side. It's not exactly unrequited love but borders along that line. I can't exactly explain it because I don't know how the story will proceed. It's my first time posting a story so I hope to get reviews and feedback. Enjoy.
Heero fucking Yuy; what is there to say about the perfect soldier? To the world he is the savior himself sent by the heavens to protect justice. The child of the stars sent to save the Earth. An angel of peace sent to save Space and the Colonies. To those who fought alongside him in the wars and those who work alongside him with the Preventers he is comrade, leader, friend, and teammate. He never fails to do his job well without question all while maintaining his own sense of right and wrong. "Follow your emotions" he'd tell you. To Relena Peacecraft he is a knight in shining armor. He is the hero to her heroine, the other half to form the world's power couple. No later was peace achieved he became the loving fiancé. To me…well hell if I know. No, that's complete bullshit. I know exactly what Heero Yuy is to me. He is my poison, my drug, and my ultimate addiction. I need him to live while he's killing me slowly and very, very painfully. Heero Yuy is my happy ending that will never be. He is my almost. He is my "what if". What I don't know is what I am to him.
During the war Hero was many things. He was partner in arms turned best friend. He was best friend turned friend with benefits. He was casual sex turned part time lover. Our partnership was begot out of necessity. From the beginning we teamed up during missions in order to survive. Sure I found him unbelievably fascinating but no doubt I wouldn't have given him a second glance if I didn't know our paths as Gundam pilots would be much more successful if they intertwined. Beyond the practicality of our connection as soldiers we offered each other companionship when the war had us at our breaking point. We kept ourselves from going insane and drowning in a sea of massacres. Late night talks between missions became a necessity. Sometimes they were meaningful conversations about our part in the world. Sometimes they were distracting rants about nothing at all.
As time moved on we provided sexual relief for one another. He initiated it; no doubt justifying the act as a bodily necessity. Frankly put even the perfect soldier needs the occasional fuck and I was the closest available body. That sounds much bitterer than it actually is. I refuse to make myself look like the victim who was taken advantage of. I never objected. I could have stopped him if I wanted to. Of course I needed the touch more than I ever let on. Who in their right minds would ever say no to Heero fucking Yuy?
I kept telling myself I was only in it for the sex. Big boys need love. It was mechanical at first, to say the least. Get in, get out, and move along. We never kissed, our bodies never touching more than they had to. Then the touches softened, the embraces became longer, glances lingered, and we began to spend nights together. At some point, somehow, I fell in love with Heero Yuy. Soon after that I'd find him pressing his lips tentatively against mine. Many kisses followed.
I fell hard. Shinigami doesn't do anything half assed, I'll have you know. Heero became my whole world. So of course, I believed everything he said. To this day I can't say whether they were lies or not.
"I love you, Duo"
"We'll find a way to be together some day"
"Wait for me"
"I'll make this work for us, I promise"
Every inch of my rational being told me these were nothing but false promises. Heero couldn't keep him if he wanted to. My heart led me in a different direction. I believed him though I knew I shouldn't have. I believed him though I saw him cling on to little Miss. Pink Bitch every chance he got. I believed him after seeing him get down on one knee and promise her forever in front of the Whole world and the Colonies. All in all I made a total ass of myself. Well not anymore.