Some facts were twisted, like the ex-KeiOu and KouOu didn't ascend their thrones together, Kourin did have her own Nyokai, etc ... Anyway its a fic right???
Its told through Kourin's point of view and Keiki, as usual and expectedly, is still a block of wood. Except for once, or twice.
This is for Deanna ^_^
Kirins were born from the Sashinkboku having each branch bearing one ranka each time. But we were different. It was rare, they said. The last time it ever happened was 3000 years ago.
You see, we were born from the same branch bearing two rankas, but there was only one nyokai born to care for us. On the day of our birth, all from Mt. Hou gathered under the Sashinboku. Everyone was amazed about our light hair, pale skin and likeness. However, joy of birth was missing.
We were to be the kirins of Kei and Kou.
Other than learning the dos and don'ts that a Tai-Ho should know, we spent time running through the vast green fields of Mt. Hou. Sometimes Kaiko, our nyokai, would carry us, one in each arm, and fly aimlessly around and around.
When we were tired, we would just lie down on whichever part of the grass field we were on, our hair spread around us, impossible to tell one's hair apart from the other's. We would just look at the flowing clouds, sometimes till we fall asleep, sometimes till Tei-Ei calls us for dinner.
No one in Mt. Hou ever dines with us. Not even Kaiko. We learnt that kirins are of high respectable ranks that others aren't supposed to dine with us. But we were never alone, we had each other. We slept in the same room. Kaiko will sleep between our beds watching us till we were asleep. Sixteen years went by and there wasn't a day that was not spent this way.
We thought we will be together forever.
"Tei-Ei says we will have to return to our own koku once we had chosen our Ou during the Winter Solstice. You will go to Koukoku and I'll have to go to Keikoku."
We dreaded our first Winter Solstice. During the days of Ankh, we held onto each other's hand as we sat behind the bamboo curtain, observing the people who might be destined to be our kings.
Day after day we sat through crowds and crowds who aspired to be kings. Leaving us tired and disappointed. How we had wish it to end soon! The last day came and we were told if there isn't a king amongst this crowd, we will have to hold this again in the coming year. Till then we would had to sit through another tiring day.
We did not receive our revelations.
"Why is there only one nyokai? The same once happened 3000 years ago. One of them is destined to die eventually! Nobody except Lady Gyokuyou had been around since then. But these are only rumours, there's no one to prove it!"
I had not eaten nor spoken. I did not notice for how long had I been sitting on the field, repeating the thoughts in my mind searching for an answer.
He came and weaved flowers into my hair bringing me from my daze, saying that it was to cheer me up. Though he had asked one of the sages on what should he do, it was still so sweet of him.
My heart hurts, telling me it should not be him.
Three had passed before that winter.
We were seated on our chairs, our hands in each other's, watching those people who wanted to be kings of our countries. The days came and went, just like those years, there weren't any revelations. It was one of the last days of Ankh. We thought it'll be another fruitless year.
He's grip tightened suddenly when that girl bowed before the bamboo curtain. His eyes were wide and his temples glistened. The sages said he had his revelation.
He sat with me through the rest of that day and to the last. Devastated was I, as they told me it was my revelation when I saw the man. The hairs on my body were raised and I couldn't breathe.
I wasn't concentrating on the details of the ceremonies. I'd just followed the sages' instructions and pledged my loyalty to my new king. And he did the same.
On the eve of our departure from Mt. Hou, we sat on the grass field watching the stars. We were silent. The presence of him was enough and I knew he thinks the same.
Our hands had to part when the eastern sky lightened.
Days without him were difficult, especially at night. He had asked Kaiko to accompany me, because he knows that I could not sleep alone, he said. Kaiko would stroke my hair until I fall asleep.
From then, assisting Kou-Ou in re-structuring Kou-koku had been taxing. Attending court, advising Kou-Ou and performing duties took away my mind from thinking about him. Sometimes when I had the time to remember, I wondered if he does the same.
Kou-Ou was a kind and gentle man. He had welfares of the people of Kou at heart. However, deep down inside me, I felt darkness somewhere in him, which I could not identify. That worries me.
Each year, on the day of our birth, we will make time to meet at Mt. Hou. Catching up on what we had lost during the past year. It was never planned; we just knew that we should be there, that we'll see each other there.
It wasn't long before rumours were saying that Kei-Ou was going mad. All women in Kinpa were killed. They say it was because she wants to be the only one in his eyes and that he never had them for her. There was always someone in there, someone who was not her.
I wished I could tell her that I know who. That I'd always knew.
He was in his bed behind drapes. I could hear heavy breathing. Lying motionless, but I knew he was awake. Ignoring his protests, I swept opened those drapes, I had to see him. He tried to turn away, but I did not allow.
I was indescribably shocked when I saw those blotches.
I felt my legs weaken and I sat on the side of his bed just staring at him. His eyes weren't what they used to be. The light in them had been extinguished. I tried to touch his hands, to be assured that he'll be alright, to be sure that he was there. When that was the first time he ever rejected my touch. I could bear no longer and I ran out of his chambers.
Inside of me I cried, "Save him! It should not be him!"
He came to Kou, one year after Kei-Ou's suicide. Telling me that he had to go to Hourai. He felt that the next Kei-Ou is there. I can't follow. All I could do was to ask Kaiko to be with him, to help him when in trouble. To be there where I could not. I'd spent my days thinking about his safety.
Finally, I'd received words that he'd found the new Kei-Ou and will be returning soon. But Kou-Ou had plans. Plans which I had to execute without questions. Even when I wish I was dead instead of doing them.
On the day of their return, I attacked them. Knowing the weakness of kirins, I forced him to return to his original form and sealed his reiki. Seeing him down and unable to speak was the last thing I would wish for, if I could wish.
"I'm sorry" was what I could only whisper.
My attempts to change Kou-Ou's unlawful pursuits were to no avail. Time and again, he ordered attacks unto the girl. I tried to convince Kou-Ou that Johei isn't the rightful ruler of Kei, but he just would not listen.
I had to hide those blotches that were starting to show. I had to convince Kou-Ou change his way. I had to save my country. And I had to tell him that I'm sorry.
I was alone. I never was. He'd always made sure I wasn't. Kaiko was with him. He couldn't possibly come to me because I'd sealed him myself. I could only laugh at myself, at what I had done to myself.
One after another, my shiseis died. One after another, the blotches appeared. One after another, I felt weaker than the previous day.
I knew it has to be me.
The instruction that I could not bring myself to carry out finally came. Kou-Ou wanted me to end her life, which I had chosen to disobey.
She had stood up for me. The girl with long, bright red hair. She wasn't disgusted with my appearance like others had. Was she the one he had chosen? She gave me feelings of warmth and righteousness. If she should be the one ...
I'm getting weaker, that it's a chore even for me to stand. Please! Ou-Sama! If you would leave here now and return to Suikou with me. Leave your unrightful pursuits on Kei!
There wasn't time for me to think when I saw Kou-Ou's blade lounging for the girl. If you are the one, please be with him for me. If you are to be with him, please take care of him for me.
I watched my own blood flow out of me making a scarlet pool on the ground, so like her hair.
How I wish I could hold his hands again, see his face, look into his eyes and hear his voice, just one last time ...
I knew I was right, it was me ...
~End~