Fandom: Harry Potter.

Title: Family Fun/Birthmonth.

Author: Starlight/Rogue

Rating: Mostly PG-15 with R rated stuff. Some of it might be considered NC-17 though....

Pairings: Albus/Scorpius, Draco/Harry, Lorcan/Lysander, James/Hugo, Teddy/Victorie(past)

Summary: The Extended Weasley Family Reunion draws near and the Malfoy-Potter household is in full chaos as everyone is getting ready for it. During the coming weeks it wont just be the reunion they have to deal with.

Warnings: Twincest, cousincest, sexytimes, boylove, creature!lore, disgusting cuteness, randomness and possible psychoness because this is me and I can't seem to keep people in character. Though it does kind of feel like their characters to me... Ummm.... It was crackish... but I turned it serious... so... semi-crack at parts?

Beta: I need one. I've gotten better at all the grammar/spelling stuff I personally believe, but I know I've probably missed a lot.

Author's Rambles: This was started for Cheryl Dyson/dysonrules for her birthmonth last year(2009), but it never got finished. I used all the prompts from last year, and the year before as well as some she gave me personally. There will eventually be a post of them on my lj. She is amazing and I adore her. This is not amazing, but it was mostly sooo much fun to write. I finished it in March and have been rewriting it all of May.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. Though I do own the members of "Dysfunction." I kind of want to write their own story after this.

Rambles #2: Also, please, please note the warnings and pairings. I know they are not everyone's thing, but they were the suggested ships, and I just added them all.

Chapter Words: 2,400+.

Family Fun/Birthmonth

Starlight/Rogue

Part One.

Saturday June 21, 2025.

"What the hell happened to you?"

As homecomings went, Albus Severus Potter had certainly had better ones. His favourite ones usually involved his boyfriend, no clothes, and their bed. Albus was hoping to get the latter two involved as quickly as possible and to distract the first from glaring at him.

The messy black haired young man adjusted his tall frame; the only obvious trait he ever inherited from his mother's family, and smiled down at the shorter blond. Gray eyes glared up at him, the half a foot difference never did intimidate Scorpius Malfoy. Usually, Albus was the one cowering from the furious blond.

"Do you want the truth?" Albus asked with a quick grin. He winced slightly and reached up to rub at the growing bruise on his cheek. "Or the line I'm going to feed our fathers when they ask?" The black haired man folded himself into the love seat, and reached for his boyfriend and sort-of-but-not-really brother.

Their fathers had been together for almost two decades, and had been living together for almost as long. There were a few times that Albus was sure the only thing that kept them together was that they were living together, that their kids were living together. Albus was grateful for that, as he knew Scorpius and James and Lily were. Teddy too, even though he spent all those early years at Hogwarts. Just because their fathers stayed together did not mean they did not have some intense fights. All of their kids had been witness to some of those fights over the years, and everyone knew they were constantly bickering over something.

It was a common occurrence in the Potter and Malfoy home to find Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy arguing over something ridiculous. The adults seemed to have turned their physical fights from their Hogwarts days into some sort of day to day entertainment. Albus was sure they had to enjoy the act of arguing with each other or they wouldn't bother fighting over silly things.

To each their own, he had decided long ago. Just because they were their fathers' children did not mean that Albus and Scorpius needed to follow in all their footsteps. Both young men were content to not fight with each other. Though, the time or two, okay, to be honest, the three times that he and Scorpius had had a huge angry row had lead to fantastic sex. Make up sex was even better then some people claimed.

If Albus thought about it that way, he could almost understand his father and Draco's consistent arguing. But then, that would involve thinking of their fathers and sex in the same sentence, which he Did. Not. Do. Ever. Unless it was 'oh fuck, our fathers just walked in on us having sex.' Which, he also did not think about, because that had been really – really – awkward for a long time.

Scorpius swatted Al's hand away and he zoned back in and pouted at the blond. His pout – however sexy – still had nothing on Scorpius'. Or maybe that was just because Albus had not found anyone he thought as attractive as Scorpius since they were fifteen

"The truth, Potter," Scorpius demanded and Albus sighed, leaning back. His brain was in overdrive as it weighed his potential responses, looking for the one that would get him in the least trouble.

"There might have been dance lessons involved?" The sheepish shrug did nothing to deter the glare. In fact, Scorpius's attention was even more raptly locked on Albus.

The blond expelled a short breath and shook his head. "What have I said about hanging out with the twins unsupervised?"

At least Albus could easily answer that one.

"That it could get me in lots of trouble?"

"Exactly, you do remember the yellow-rumped warbler incident, don't you?"

Scorpius watched Albus very calmly, the annoyance in his gray eyes was the only tell to his emotions, if you knew how to read him. Albus knew how to read him.

"You do remember, don't you?" Score reached for Al, cupping his face, stroking his fingers down Albus' cheek. Al forced his mouth to remain shut, trying to scowl at Score as the blond leaned in close, his lips a breath away from Al's. "Don't you, Albus?" Scorpius licked his way over Al's lips tenderly.

"I remember," Al finally said, leaning up for the kiss as Score pulled away.

"Thought so," the blond smirked and patted Al's cheek.

"That's cruel," Al complained. He reached for Score's hand and pulled the blond back in for his kiss.

Scorpius laughed, the smirk never leaving his face.

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy had a power over people that had nothing to do with Harry Potter. With a look he could make complete strangers want to do as he wished. Al had seen him give former school mates his "are you kidding me" look and even the most stubborn had been willing to deny the sky was blue if Score told them to.

Al was more dramatic in his manipulations, he knew it and blamed his Potter blood. He enjoyed convincing the mindless simpletons to do things they would not want to do. If he had to use the words "Harry Potter" and "Saviour of the Wizarding World" to do it, that was fine. What was the point in being able to use those against people, if you did not do it? Albus had stopped trying to hid that from his father around the same time he came to terms with why Harry James Potter had never been surprised to see him in Slytherin green.

The fact that the colour looked amazing on Albus was not one of Harry's reasons.

"But I wasn't with the twins!" Albus argued and a thin blond eyebrow rose in disbelief. "I wasn't! It was just Lysander."

"Oh sweet Merlin!" Scorpius sighed, rubbing his eyes briefly before opening them to glare at Al. "That's even worse. I do not want a repeat of last time, Albus. I'm still scarred from dragging you out of the doctors office."

"It was just a meeting!" Al whined. "Just a professional consultation!"

"'Professional consultation' my arse," Score grumbled. "It was with a plastic surgeon!" Score reminded him. "A shady one at that, because he was meeting with you when you were so clearly pissed, and Lysander couldn't have been more obviously high. Clinging to you, and giggling at everything said while urging you to agree with the doctor. You were so lucky I never told Lorcan how I found you both."

Albus rolled his eyes, letting them rest appreciatively on Scorpius. He loved looking at the blond man. Albus waited till Scorpius had turned to look at him, then he let his mouth curve into a happy smile. He wasn't scared of Lorcan Scamander. Albus's smile faltered slightly. To tell the truth, given the shape he left Lysander Scamander in, some fear would probably be a good thing. Forcing the thoughts away, and concentrating on his irritated boyfriend, Albus smiled again, slow and lazy and just a little bit sleazy.

"Not fair," Scorpius grumbled and Albus felt a flash of triumph. He still knew how to get to Scorpius even after all these years. Practice did make perfect, and he liked to practice on Scorpius as often as possible, several times a day if they could get away with it.

Albus reached out, and this time, Scorpius let Albus take his hand, he let himself be pulled onto Albus' lap. With his legs straddling either side of Albus, the blond rested one arm around Albus' shoulders and the other cupped Albus' jaw. Scorpius leaned in and evaded the black haired mans lips while he kissed the corner of Albus's eye. "How did you end up with a black eye?"

"I promise you, it had nothing to do with forced narcolepsy," Albus joked.

Scorpius raised an eyebrow at Albus. "The only words in that sentence I believe are the 'forced narcolepsy,' Al."

"It's not my fault you know me so well."

Scorpius pulled back, staring into Albus's green eyes. "Idiot," he said with a shake of his head, and leaned down to press his lips to Albus's. It was rare that he was taller then the black haired Potter, and he preferred to take advantage of the angle while he was. Albus grinned against his lips, opening his mouth eagerly for the waiting tongue. Albus' hand was wrapped in the bottom of Scorpius' button down shirt, tugging Scorpius even closer. Albus worked on the bottom button's, trying to get them undone while his other hand was cupping Scorpius' behind.

Scorpius pulled back from the kiss with a frown, his fingers tangled in Albus' unruly hair. "Our fathers are upstairs." He spoke quietly, as if afraid their aforementioned fathers could hear them.

"Probably doing the same thing we are," Albus pointed out. It took half a second before he cringed and looked like he was going to throw up. "Can you scourgify that mental image? Please?"

"I don't know," Scorpius smirked at the raven haired young man. "You might deserve that one for going to see the Scamander twins without me."

"If I promise to never see the Scamanders again, will you scourgify me?"

Scorpius hummed lightly, pretending to think about it. "No," he settled with a smirk. "I don't think I can forgive that action."

"Scoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Albus whined, and really, a twenty year old whining was not the most attractive thing in the world. Except that it was, because it was Al Potter. Everything was disgustingly attractive on Albus Severus.

Albus stopped whining and just smiled pleasantly at Scorpius. "If you're jealous you should just say so. I know how much you enjoy the Scamanders. You can see them all you want in two weeks. I won't mind. It's the Extended Weasley Family Reunion after all, I'm sure there are others I can socialize with. Probably manipulate as well. And Teddy promised to bring some of that Muggle Russian vodka he picked up in Muggle America. It's supposed to be stronger better then anything I sell at the club."

While Scorpius had inherited his family's normal palor, the absolute lack of colour was not normal. Scorpius had forgotten that the daunting Extended Weasley Family Reunion was hovering over head. Attending a gathering of every single person the Weasleys considered family was a bit much to ask of anyone, let alone a cold and aloof Malfoy. Thankfully, these things only happened once every five years or so. Scorpius usually had to obliviate himself after just to relax. The Weasleys were bloody insane.

Scorpius was sure he had threatened to castrate Teddy if he ever thought to bring foreign alcohol near Al again. He was going to have to check about that one though.

"Draco!" Both young men looked up at the ceiling when they heard Harry Potters annoyed exclamation. There was stomping around upstairs, and a door shut. Albus figured they were standing near the back of the hall, nearest their bedroom.

"No!" Draco's response was short and clipped. It was his Auror's voice, something no one messed with. Except Harry. The young adults that lived in the massive house were convinced Harry enjoyed ribbing Draco. There was no other explanation for why he always did it, unless it was fun.

"Huh," Albus mussed. "Didn't they just make up for the Naytolia thing?"

"No, that was last month. This week was about the files. Remember? Father insisted he put them in the file cabinet, but Harry couldn't find them, for three days. It turned out that Kreacher had moved them?"

"Right," Albus drawled. "I remember now."

"Sure you do."

"What?" Albus complained. "Is it my fault that our parents fight like they are still in Hogwarts?"

"I don't know, were you hexing them as a baby? Because that would explain a lot."

"Ha ha, you're a riot, Score."

"You love it."

Harry's outburst from upstairs interrupted Albus' rebuttal.

"It's only eight days, Dray!"

"Ooohh!" Both boys nodded their heads understandingly. The Extended Weasley Family Reunion. Draco hated going. They always fought about it, every time one came around. And every time, Harry managed to convince his partner that he should go. The only fun now was in betting how long it would take for Harry to convince Draco.

Somehow Lily won, every time.

"I refuse to waste even a single day with the Weasleys, Potter, and that's final!"

"You waste everyday with Weasleys, Draco!"

"Not directly!"

"Last names hardly change ancestry!"

"Potter!" Draco snapped, "I won't be forced to tag along."

"What if I promise to keep Molly away from you?"

"Like you could stop her."

Scorpius had to agree with his father. Half of the time, it looked like Molly Weasley adored everyone of them, but then sometimes she would get this look in her eyes and Scorpius would just want to hide. The look clearly stated she was unhappy. Displeased, even pissed off, with Harry's family. It had been eighteen years since Ginny Weasley died in childbirth, but Molly Weasley had a way of acting like it had just happened. Scorpius wondered what this reunion was going to be. He hoped it was the fun loving Molly Weasley. The other one made him feel like dirt. He was a Malfoy, and that was all that needed to be said.

"I'm sure, Draco," Harry's voice was lower then it had been, but almost as clear, leaving the younger couple to assume their fathers were nearer to the staircase. "That I can find a way to convince you."

"There is nothing you can do Hero, that would make me want to spend time with them."

Albus cringed once those words left Draco's mouth. Draco Malfoy knew better then to challenge Harry Potter. Merlin, most of the world knew better then to challenge a Potter.

Scorpius nuzzled Albus's neck, mentally tuning out their fathers.

There are somethings you just do not need to witness, and this was going to turn into one of them.

"Guest house?" He mouthed into Albus's neck, drawing his boyfriend's attention back to himself.

"Merlin, yes."

They apparated away as a door upstairs slammed shut. And locked.

TBC...