A really angsty AU of KotoUmi I made. Dedicated to my friend, the-last-king88.
I'd Rather Have You in My Dreams
See You in My Dreams (Part 1)
It was a sunny day. The sun was shining brightly, birds were happily chirping, and the wind was breezy. Everything was nice and well, which made it a perfectly good day to have a picnic with the person you love.
"Umi-chan! Hurry up!"
"Wait up, Kotori." The cobalt-haired girl tried keeping up with you, smiling ever so gently while carrying the picnic basket up the hill where you were.
The both of you were in a park you've accidentally found when you were sightseeing in the town, right after you guys had finished arranging your furniture. You thought that it would be just the right place to have a picnic at, and you were right.
The white sundress that you were using flows beautifully with the wind; the light green cardigan on top of it adding warmth to the look; the sun hat and pair of beige sandals you bought just last week ultimately completing it. Umi was using a button up light blue shirt with her blue shorts, and black vans; she was never one to go with short dresses or any types of dresses unless it's required.
Once your lover had arrived, you both spread the picnic cloth over the ground; the classic red and white checkered cloth. You opened the picnic basket, taking the snacks out, and started eating. The food that Umi had prepared was delicious. The tuna sandwich, onigiri, and barley tea; they were all delightful. You weren't surprised of the fact as you know that everything Umi makes will always taste good.
After discarding the leftovers, Umi proceeded to read her book. You leaned on her, head on her shoulder. The slowly moving clouds in the bright blue sky caught your attention.
"Umi-chan, Umi-chan," you nudged the said girl, trying to get her attention.
Umi acknowledged you with a hum, still reading her book.
"Don't you think that cloud looks like a flower?" you pointed at the certain cloud.
"Where?" the cobalt-haired girl looked up at where you were pointing as she put a bookmark on the page where she had left off.
"That one! Right there!" you told her with enthusiasm clear in your voice. Umi lightly chuckled at your childish antics.
"It does look like a flower, good job at finding it, Kotori," she praised you with a pat on your head and you grinned at her.
Not long after, you felt sleepiness coming your way and you dozed off with a content feeling on your chest, and the cobalt-haired girl's beautiful face etched in your mind.
When you woke up, you were in an unfamiliar room. The white ceiling and walls was… too foreign to you. You couldn't smell that typical scent from your room, and that usual warmth wasn't there either. Everything felt… rather too cold.
"Honoka! Maki! She's awake!" you heard someone said. The voice had that familiar depth into it. Was that Umi-chan?
You opened your heavy-lidded eyes and looked to the direction where you thought the source of the sound came from. Nozomi was there, looking at you with a smile- one that does not reach her eyes.
Oh, it's Nozomi.
You were about to talk, but your throat was too dry. The purple-haired girl seemed to notice and clicked one of the buttons from your bedside table, making your bed shift to help you get into a seated position.
"Here." Nozomi helped you hold the glass of water while you drink. She put the glass back on the top of the nightstand beside your bed after you lightly nodded, telling her that the water was enough. She held your hands afterwards, giving it a small warm grip.
The unusual smile was still there. It was as if she was trying to give you some sort of reassurance, but, what is it for?
You've just realized that there wasn't any sign of a certain cobalt-haired girl anywhere in the room. You thought that she would've at least been one of the first ones you see when you woke up.
Where is Umi-chan?
Before you could ask your senior the question you've had in your mind for a while, Honoka barged right into your room, followed by Maki and Eri.
"Kotori-chan!" Honoka shouted with teary eyes, rushing to the free space on the left side of your bed. She looked far too sad for her normal self. What had happened?
"Honoka, you're not supposed to shout in a recovering patient's room," Maki sighed, rubbing her temple.
"B-but!" the ginger-haired whined. You could only give a faint smile at the exchange between your childhood friend and the red-haired girl.
Usually, Umi-chan would be the one to scold Honoka-chan…
"Where's Umi-chan?"
Suddenly, the atmosphere felt tense. You're confused. Everyone was avoiding your eye. They looked at each other but you. What's going on? Your eyebrows knitted themselves together. You were about to launch another question before Maki beat you to it.
"Kotori, you just woke up and we need to run a check-up update." the red-headed neurosurgeon was the first one to look at you right in the eyes. She didn't give you an answer, she avoided it completely, but you couldn't question her dodge since a doctor and some nurses had joined you and your friends in your room. You made a mental note to ask her later after you're done with your check-up.
A few days had passed since you woke up in the hospitals. Every time you try asking someone about the cobalt-haired girl, may it be your family or the other ex-Muse members that had come to visit or even a nurse that had been taking care of you since day one; they would either avoid the question entirely or say that they didn't know, but how can they not know anything?
It is logical if the nurse won't really know about Umi, but Rin? Or Hanayo? They should've at least known something; considering that you guys have known each other, for what? Eight years now?
Your suspicions grew by day as your frustration grew to the people giving you the silent treatment each time you asked them the supposedly simple question.
Why can't they just answer the damn question?
Your mind was racing with quite a lot of thoughts and you're starting to feel a headache. You feel like going out of your room; maybe a walk down the corridor would do. Yeah, maybe that's what you needed.
On the way out of your room, you heard of some familiar voices talking just around the corner. The walk forgotten, you hid yourself behind the walls. Eavesdropping was not something that you enjoy doing, but if it's for finding clues to the disappearance of the cobalt-haired girl, you wouldn't mind.
And as you had predicted, they were talking about her.
"Maki-chan, you can't keep Kotori-chan in the dark forever. She has the right to know." Nozomi said with concern laced in her voice. A right for you to know? You knew that they were hiding something, but what are they hiding?
"Yes, Maki. Nozomi has a point. Keeping her for any longer would result in her hurting much more than she would have if you'd have told her the moment she woke up." Eri supported her girlfriend's statement. You could hear the red-haired surgeon sigh.
"But… this is what Umi's last wish was. I can't… I can't let her down…" Maki's tone was softer. It definitely has a different feel than what you used to hear. But-
What's Umi-chan's… last wish?
It was silent for a while, and you felt like you've heard enough.
You may or may not have an idea of what they had meant with 'Umi's last wish', if your guts were right, that is. Hearing them confirming your suspicions surprisingly didn't make you cry. You thought that you would at least sob or tear up.
Maybe… maybe you're too broken to even shed a single tear.
As you walk away with your cane, your tripped over a leg of a chair and you fell down, tripped by it, producing a loud thump and a yelp out of your mouth as you hit the ground.
The three former members of Muse were alerted of this and you cursed inwardly at the chair that had you into this mess. Well… to be honest, it did nothing wrong other than tripping you; you got yourself into this mess after all. You totally deserved that for eavesdropping. You could hear their footsteps drawing near.
As Eri and Maki rushed to your sides to help you up from the ground, and Nozomi grabbing the cane that slid away from you, you felt how thick the air around you had become. It was almost as similar as the atmosphere in your room the time you woke up from your accident.
Nozomi looked at you with an unreadable face before asking you the question.
"Kotori-chan, did you… did you hear us just now?" the two only other people currently in the corridor were stunned by Nozomi's question. It wasn't a surprise to you at all in all honesty.
There was another awkward silence surrounding you. You felt bad enough eavesdropping on them and you'll feel even worse with lying, so you decided to tell them the truth.
"I… Yes, I did hear." Maki had her head hung low. She closed her eyes before taking a deep breath; bracing herself.
"Kotori, I'm sorry…" the amethyst-eyed surgeon said as she slowly opened her teary eyes, lifting her head up to look at you. "I'm really sorry..."
The way she looked at you was full of pity and sympathy. You could only look at her back from the corner of your eyes. You're not sure of what kind of face you're making right now, but it's probably void of any emotion.
You guys walked back to your room with no words exchanged. They left you on your bed after dropping you off, only saying "good night" and "we'll see you tomorrow".
Your room was then filled with silence.
You looked at the vase of anemone flowers that was placed on your bedside table.
Anemone, huh?
The flowers looked at you like they were silently mocking you. The longer you stared at the flowers, the more anger you felt building inside you. You didn't even know where this anger and frustration had come from.
You reached for the blue anemone flowers.
You crushed them.
You cursed at them.
You threw them to the clean white tiles of the hospital room.
And as you see them lifeless on the floor, your shoulders began to shake. Your eyes were brimming with tears; it felt like they were burning. You gritted your teeth. You clenched your hands as hard as you can, turning your knuckles to white. You tried so hard, so, so hard, but the tears fell anyway.
You held onto your face, sobs muffled by your hands.
White anemones and a lone blue anemone were the only ones left in the vase.
The ache in your chest is growing more and more unbearable as each seconds passed by.
Why did you lie?
You cried yourself to sleep that night.
It's been a few weeks since Umi had asked you out, you guys are currently in your house, watching some romance movies. The cobalt-haired girl had refused to watch these type of movies at first, but after one 'Umi-chan, onegai!' she gave in to it.
You had your head on her left shoulder and she was… well, sitting rather too stiffly for your liking. She felt too tense and you could only pout until…
"Umi-chaaaan, loosen up a biiiitttt. Don't be too stiiiiifffff." you whined, giving her your best pleading look, puppy eyes accompanied with a pout and a slight head tilt.
Of course, she submitted (yet again) to the look. Her warm and strong hands were hesitantly holding your waist as you snuggled more onto her. She was still inflexible, but a lot less than before and to you, it was good enough.
"You're unfair, Kotori…" she muttered with red dusting her cheeks, caramel colored eyes avoiding your identical ones. You innocently smiled.
You continued watching the movie in her arms. It was a tragic story between a painter and her lover. The movie was an adaptation from a book that your favorite author wrote and you could say that the adaptation did justice to the book. Everything was just as you imagined it- the director sure did a great job.
The movie ended you in tears, you had started crying somewhere in midst of the movie. Umi kept on holding onto you throughout the movie, her action gave you warmth that's definitely better than what the blankets gave you.
"Together Forever" was written at the end of the credit roll. You couldn't help but question your companion about it.
"Umi-chan, we'll be together forever, right?" you looked at the cobalt-haired girl with some unshed tears left in your eyes. She held your head and brushed away those tears with her calloused yet still soft thumbs. Her soft eyes looking at yours, giving you a sense of security.
"Yes, Kotori. We will." you both then closed the distance left with a slow albeit passionate kiss. She brushed your bangs gently and you slowly succumb into your dreams in her warm and loving embrace.
"Even until death does us apart, I'll still be by your side, watching over you."
You're currently in what used to be your house with her, but it's fully yours now. It had gathered a bit of dust inside, having no one to clean it for a few weeks, but not too much that you had to clean it now.
You just got charged out of the hospital. Nico offered you a ride home and you accepted it, knowing that it's nearly impossible for you to go home by yourself in your current state, even if you had recovered.
The ride home was filled with Nico talking in a one-sided conversation as you weren't really in the mood for it. You only gave her occasional nods and hums.
The both of you arrived in front of your house and your raven-haired senior was about to help you bring in your bags, albeit you brushed her off, telling her that you can do it yourself. Maybe you were acting too harsh as all she said after was a small okay.
You felt bad reacting this way, but even after your too harsh of an attitude, she still gave you a "well, if you need help, just call Nico nii anytime, okay?" and her usual bright smile.
You know that you'll be forever grateful to her for even trying conversing with you in your poor mental state, maybe she knows it too, but you only nodded and said your thanks. You waited until she drove out of sight before entering the very building that held so much of your memory.
The house used to be your family's house before your mom gave it to you as she was planning on moving to the country side where her family used to live at.
You told her that tending the house alone would be a bit hard and… it would be lonely- albeit you only reasoned her with the former.
Unbeknownst to you at the time, she had asked the cobalt-haired girl to live with you beforehand, and so, the both of you moved in to the house. You both used to live in a shared apartment in one of the districts in Akihabara before moving in.
As you entered your house, you opened your shoes and muttered a small 'I'm home'. Nothing but silence greeted you back of course.
The house felt too silent, too empty, but what can you do about it? You dragged your belongings into the living room, putting it next to the sofa. After doing so, you plopped down on the sofa, back facing to the ceiling. You turned your head, which was on a soft navy blue cushion, to the direction where the coffee table is.
On the coffee table, you could see some photo frames with your pictures. One was from the time you guys had performed 'Anemone Heart' in one of the Lives Muse had, a picture of you, her, and Honoka on your high school graduation day next to it. Another one was from the time you guys graduated University, it had the other Muse members in it. The last one was the most recent one, the time you had a picnic with her.
Looking at the pictures hurt your heart.
It's aching.
Without you even realizing it, tears had started falling from your already puffy and red eyes. You're tired of crying, but the water kept on going and going for what seemed like forever.
Somewhere along the way, you had fallen asleep out of exhaustion.
The Sonoda family has been grieving over the death of one of their beloved family member, Umi's father, and the cobalt-haired girl seemed to be really effected by what had happened.
You've seen how she had always looked up to her dear father, even back from the times when you, Honoka, and she were still young. You remembered how her eyes would light up and how she would start talking animatedly when her father was the subject of the talk; it was a heartwarming sight.
But now…
Now, when the cobalt-haired girl had heard of her dear father's name, tears would well up in her beautiful caramel colored eyes and will eventually fall to the ground as she hung her head low.
All you could do was hug her while gently caressing her hair, but even after all these things, you didn't feel like your actions were enough to comfort Umi. She looked very fragile; different from the usual firm and stern Sonoda Umi. It felt like if you hug her too tight, she'll break.
"Kotori… why… why does he…" the cobalt-haired girl held on to you as she cried. "Why does he have to go? Please… tell me why."
Umi's voice was trembling, voice cracking every so now and then. Seeing your beloved in this state definitely ached your heart.
"I'm sure that He has a reason why, Umi-chan. But, I at least know that father wouldn't want to see you crying all day; every day." You whispered softly to her ear, her head on your shoulder, tears dampening the navy blue sweater that you decided to wear that day.
"You remembered what he said, right? 'Don't let the waves wash off the smile on your face.'"
At your words, Umi slowed down her cries, successfully minimizing it into small sobs. You kept on holding her for as long as you can remember till the both of you were in the state of dreaming.
"The last time I cried, you comforted me and I did the same to you. Now that you're gone, who's going to comfort me?"
The buzzing of your phone and the rapid knocks on the front door woke you up from your slumber. You took the vibrating object from the top of the coffee table; the photo frames facing down. You looked at the caller's ID and recognized it as your childhood friend's. You answered the call.
"Hello?" a yawn escaped your lips right after you said your greeting. You had to clear your throat.
"Hello? Thank goodness, you finally answered my call! I was getting worried!" the ginger's voice boomed in your ears, you holding the phone an arm's length away from your ear.
"Yeah, I was just getting some rest." You put the phone back near your ear.
"O-oh! Sorry for interrupting you!" you realized that the knocking on the door had stopped, it must've been Honoka. "Well, if you ever need food or something, just call me! I will deliver them straight to your house, Kotori-chan!"
"Yes, yes, I will, Honoka. Do you want to come in? I know that you're outside." you asked your friend. The way her name rolled off your tongue without the usual honorific left a strange feeling. You wonder if you're just trying to be polite or you just need someone to accompany you. Maybe the latter.
"Ah! But you're resting, I wouldn't want to impose." Honoka sure have matured since your high school days. Somehow, it reminded you of Umi. You felt tears forming once again and now, you feel like being alone is a better option than having a company. "And I'm already on my way home, so…"
You felt weirdly relieved.
"I see. Well, be careful on your way home then. Stay safe."
"Will be! Oh and I left the bento my mom made for you on your door step! Better eat them while they're still warm! See you!" the ginger-head closed the call after your hum.
You put the device back to where it had been and plopped back down to the couch, gazing at the white ceiling above. Both of your eyes were sore from the seemingly endless crying. You bet that they were both bloodshot red.
An idea suddenly struck you. You looked at your phone, wondering if you should really do it.
You picked up the grey cased android, opening the Contacts application. You swiped the phone screen till your thumb hover a certain person's contact.
Umi-chan
You called the number, waiting for her to maybe, just maybe, answer your call, and tell you that everything that had just happened was just a really bad nightmare; that she was just gone on another business trip and didn't tell you about it; that everything is actually alright.
After all the ringing, you heard her speak.
"Sonoda Umi here." Your heart stopped beating for a moment.
It's her voice. It's her voice. The voice that you missed so much. The voice that soothes you to dream when you have trouble sleeping. The voice that gives you so much warmth and security. The voice that you love.
"Umi-"
"I'm currently unavailable or am busy. I'll try to call you back once I'm free."
Oh, it was only her voicemail.
You ended the call, putting the phone back to where it was at.
It is impossible after all.
You looked at the clock.
It's already six; I should take a bath and have dinner.
You got up and went to your front door. As you open it, you saw the bento that Honoka was talking about in your conversation just now, wrapped in an orange cloth. Taking it with you, you went back in.
After dropping the bento on top of the dining table, you went upstairs to your room to take some change of clothes and get ready for a bath.
You saw yourself on the mirror. Your eyes were red from all the crying, your hair was a bit messy from the nap you just took, and you… you looked miserable.
You gazed at the post-it notes posted on the mirror. It was mainly the agenda that you both were supposed to do that day. It's something the both of you agreed on to help with your works and routines. One note stood out from the others with its grey color. The writings on that note made it hard for you to breathe.
A week to go until being married with Umi-chan!
– ( ^ 8 ^ )
You bit your lips.
Don't cry.
You told yourself over and over and over, like a chant, and you started tasting copper in your mouth.
You ripped the note off the mirror, crumpled it, and threw it into the near-by trash can all in a flash. You slipped down a wall, hugging your knees once you land on the floor.
Why…? Why did it have to happen to us?
You decided to stay in that position until you calmed yourself down.
Umi's college life was… not the greatest time. Due to the passing of her father, the Sonoda family was having financial problems. Umi's older sister did come back to assist the family, but the situation was still hard on them.
You know of their condition, and you'd really like to help, even in the smallest way possible.
Hence why you both now live in a shared apartment. The cobalt-haired girl had denied living together at first, as she didn't want to be a bother to you, knowing that you'll pay the rent by yourself.
No, Umi will not let herself be a bother to anyone, especially to you. Though, you managed to make her agree on living with you, and Umi, of course, couldn't refuse you.
Sometimes, after your college classes ended and you, finally, got home, you'll usually see her asleep by the coffee table with papers and books scattered on top of it.
Umi-chan still doesn't know when to take a break.
You sat on the navy blue sofa and stroke her cobalt hair gently, liking the feeling of the silky tresses on your fingertips. The way she breathed evenly, the way her chest rose up and down lightly was breathtaking for you.
She's beautiful.
You felt her move under your touch, but you kept on caressing her head. You saw caramel-colored eyes opening and a groan accompanying it.
And she's also cute.
"Kotori…?" she looked at you, voice groggy from the sleep.
She's cute.
"I'm home, Umi-chan." You smiled at her, hands still in between the pretty cobalt locks. The look she's giving you makes your heart flutter.
She's real cute.
"A-ah, welcome home, Kotori." You giggled as she whipped her head up to face you fully, lightly blushing over her previous out of character action.
It's illegal to be this cute.
"Mou, Umi-chan, how many times do I have to tell you not to fall asleep here?" You (fake) frowned, putting your hand on her smooth cheek. She closed her eyes, leaning in to the touch.
Umi-chan, why are you so cute?
"Hm," Umi hummed, agreeing with you. "I'm sorry, Kotori. I guess I was too absorbed into the works that I forgot the time."
"Again?"
"Yes, again," She closed her eyes. "Will you… forgive me?" and looked at you with her version of puppy dog eyes. You could only chuckle.
Umi-chan is being unfair.
"Of course, Umi-chan." You brought her face closer to yours, your lips locked in a sweet kiss full of love.
You both broke from the kiss after a moment to catch some air, breaths lightly ragged. The both of you didn't notice how Umi had moved from her place and is now sitting on your laps, her hands interlocked behind your neck and yours holding her waist. As soon as your eyes met hers, you engaged in a more passionate kiss.
You started going south, putting kisses on her neck. You could hear her trying to suppress her moans, turning them into light whimpers instead. You couldn't help but smile as you give her butterfly kisses.
"K-Kotori, s-stop, a-ah," Umi tried moving your head from her neck. You went to her right ear, knowing exactly how sensitive her ears were.
"Nope, I'm not stopping." You purred right into her ear, earning a shudder from her.
"We've only just started after all…" She flinched as she felt you nibble on her ears. And…
That was when she pinched both your cheeks. Hard.
"Minami-san, I told you to stop, didn't I?" she stretched your cheeks, trying to glare at you with her infamous "the Demon's Deathly Glare", - credits to Honoka, Rin, and Nico for the name- though her glares weren't as scary due to the red on her beautiful face and the fact that her clothes and hair were disheveled.
"Eehhhh? Hwy thwo (Why though)?" you pouted, well, you tried to, her grip on your cheeks were making it hard for you to do the said action and talk.
"You still need to eat dinner and take a bath, you know?!" she scolded you, letting go of your cheeks to cross her arms, and then avoiding your eyes.
"B-but, I want Umi-chan as my dinner!" you said as you rubbed on your sore cheeks, the cobalt-haired girl blowing up out of embarrassment after your words in the process.
"S- Shameless!" she shook your shoulders, quite roughly. "I- I meant of a proper d-dinner!"
I guess she still has that side of her who finds things shameless.
"Aww, okay…" you moped, looking away from her. Not a few seconds later, you heard of a sigh.
"I- I guess you can…" the cobalt-haired girl trailed off, face as red as a certain junior's hair color.
Yes! It still worked!
"Hmm, what was that Umi-chan?" You look at her, eyes full of plead. Of course, she couldn't resist you.
"I- I g- guess y- y- you can… h- have me after d- dinner…" she hugged you, her face on you shoulder, her words muffled by your sweater. Even though you heard clearly of what she had just said, you still wanted to tease her more.
"Ah, sorry, Umi-chan! I didn't hear you just now, can you please repeat it again?" you felt her grip on you got tighter.
I'm sorry, Umi-chan~
"Y- You can h- h- have m- me after… mou, Kotori! You actually heard me the first time, didn't you?!" she stopped as she felt you tremble under her, trying to suppress your laughter.
"I- I'm sorry, U- Umi-chan, y- you're just too c- cute…" you let your laugh over take you, brushing the tears that had form on the corner of your eyes. You saw Umi frowning, looking mad.
"But…" you brought her head close and gave her a peck on her cheek. "Yes, I'd love to have you after dinner."
"W-well, you better take a bath now then. I'm going to heat up the curry that I made just now." She gave you a peck on your cheek back and stood up to go to the kitchen, fixing her clothes and hair as she walked. You couldn't help but smile as you watch her go.
I feel blessed to have met such a person.
You then went to your room to take some change of clothes and made your way to the bathroom to start your bath.
After you finished, you went back to the living room to see that Umi had started to work on her college works and the papers she had to do to save her family's dojo.
Your lips pursed at the thought of the Sonodas' current situation. It is a harsh time for them and you want to help them as much as you can.
Umi's father had suddenly passed away the day before their high school graduation. No one in the family had been prepared of the unexpected event, and with the dojo losing its owner out of the blue, everything was a complete mess.
Seeing Umi so shaken up was heartbreaking for you, and from that point on, you've sworn to yourself to keep on loving and supporting your lover through her worse times.
Hopefully everything will go well. I still don't like seeing Umi-chan overworking herself.
"Ah, Kotori, done with your bath?" Umi's soft and calming voice took you out of your trance. Well, all you can do right now is support her mentally, but you're going to do your very best to make it to the end of this beside her.
"Yup! I couldn't wait to eat your curry." You walked to the dining table, seeing the plate of rice and curry on top of it. Umi might not be as good as Nico in cooking, but the food she made is definitely the ones you'd eat the most.
"Hopefully I didn't put too much garlic in the curry." The cobalt-haired girl said from the coffee table, looking at you with uneasiness.
"Umi-chan, even if you put a lot of garlic, like, five of them, I'd still eat it, y'know?" she chuckled from your answer. But in all honesty, you'd really still eat the curry just because she made it- just because it's her.
"Well, anyways, enjoy your food. If you want to have second servings, we still have some left in the kitchen. Help yourself." Umi said before she went back to her works.
"Okay! Thanks for the food!" you said, picking the chopsticks up. You then dig in to the food. As you hit the rice and curry, all the different spices and flavor burst into your mouth. You could feel the love Umi put in the food as she made it. In all honesty, you'd eat the same thing every single day and still not get tired of it if she was the one who made it.
After you finished your dinner, you washed the dishes and went to sit by Umi's side as she does her works.
"Ah, Kotori, d- do you want to go now?" Umi's cheeks were slowly dusted by red, putting her pen down to snake one of her hands down to your waist. You lightly giggled.
"Umi-chan, I was just kidding. I know that you have a lot to work on, so if you want to do your work, I'm totally fine with it. Watching you is fun to do too." You leaned your head on her shoulder, feeling how warm she was; especially since it was already fall.
"I- I don't actually want to do work anymore…" she looked extremely flustered, avoiding to look at you before bracing herself. "I- I-
"I want to do you!"
The way she looked at you with such determination made your cheeks burn.
Ah, is this her revenge to me…?
"Umi-chan, I love you!" You nuzzled unto her neck whilst blushing brightly.
"I- I love you too, Kotori."
Both you and Umi ended up having a nice night with you sleeping in her warm and tight hold; dreaming of a happy future for the both of you.
"I can go through every ups and downs life gives me with you by my side."
You took your bath after the breakdown you had in your room. The reality is still not sinking in wholly. You thought of a lot of things as you eat, and in the end, your stomach could only finish less than half of the portion you usually take for yourself. You wrapped the plate with some plastic wrap and placed it in the fridge, thinking that you can eat it for breakfast tomorrow.
After brushing your teeth, you decided to watch the TV first before going to bed. There wasn't any channel that piqued your interest, so you kept on changing the channels before you turned off the TV completely when you saw a part from 'Together Forever' playing.
Umi-chan, we'll be together forever, right?
Yes, Kotori, we will.
Your hand holding the TV remote started trembling; your eyes wide. A series of flashbacks played through your mind, and your brain started to hurt. You clenched the sides of your head, hoping that the pain would stop; hoping that the pain would just go away.
Umi-chan! Hurry up!
Wait up, Kotori.
Everything started to look distorted, and your eyes couldn't focus on anything. The temperature had been fine before, yet you're sweating bullets like there's no tomorrow. It's getting harder to breathe, like your chest is being constricted by something. You could only close your eyes, and hope for everything to subside.
Umi-chan, I love you!
I- I love you too, Kotori.
"Umi-chan, please make it stop." You could only cry out. It felt like you're going crazy. Nothing felt real. You didn't even know whether everything happening is real or just in your head. You didn't know what you're feeling. You couldn't feel anything other than pain.
"Kotori," a familiar voice called out your name.
You snapped to look at your surroundings; head still aching like someone is hitting it with a mallet continuously. The room was dimly lit too and you couldn't see really far away, and there's really no one to see at all.
Yet it was like Umi was calling for you; like she's in the house with you too.
By each second, it felt like you were losing your sanity. You weren't sure of which is a reality and which is an illusion. You blocked your ears with both your hands, not wanting to hear anything at all. You shut your eyes, not wanting to see anything at all. You didn't want to know what was happening at all.
It's all just going to make you remember her, and you don't think that you can handle the truth just yet.