Author's Note: Okay, time for the standard list of things I don't own. I don't own Gundam Wing, Fushigi Yuugi, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo or The Weakest Link. For those of you unfamiliar with Fushigi Yuugi, Ashitare is a werewolf/wolf...at least I think he is. I've only gotten to the 8th anime tape and vol. 4 manga - give me a break, okay?
Heero Yuy, Gundam Wing
Quatre Raberba-Winner, Gundam Wing
Duo Maxwell, Gundam Wing
Wufei Chang, Gundam Wing
Ashitare, Fushigi Yuugi
Serena Tsukino, Sailor Moon
Washyuu, Tenchi Muyo
Trowa Barton, Gundam Wing
~*~The Hostess~*~
Anne Robinson
Anne: Hello, and welcome to The Weakest Link. I'm your host, Anne Robinson. With us tonight are -
Heero: Heero Yuy, Perfect Soldier.
Quatre: Quatre Raberba-Winner, CEO of Raberba-Winner Enterprises.
Duo: Duo Maxwell, God of Death, at your service.
Wufei: Chang Wufei, martial arts master, purveyor of justice.
Ashitare: scratches ear with foot.
Serena: Serena Tsukino, Sailo-...erm...Neo Q.....ah, Princess-
Washyuu: Don't strain yourself.
Serena: sticks out tongue
Anne: Maybe you'd like to give someone else the chance to interrupt, hmm?
Washyuu: Washyuu, the greatest genius scientist in the universe!
One mini-Washyuu appears on each one of her shoulders
Mini Washyuu A:Yes, you are the greatest, Washyuu!
Mini Washyuu B: The best! Yea!
Trowa:..............................
Anne: clears throat
Wahyuu: Trowa, I think she's talking to you.
Trowa: mumbling Aphaxysad.....
Anne: Right. fumbles through cards Trowa Barton, mechanic.
Quatre: smacks forehead
Anne: Now, let's play....The Weakest Link!
cue dramatic music, flashy lighting
Anne: For $50, how many sides to a cube?
Heero: Relena.
Anne: Wrong. Six. Quatre -
Quatre: Bank!
Anne: What are the three primary colors?
Quatre: Red, yellow and....pink!
Anne: Wrong. Red, yellow and blue.
Wufei, what ancient Chinese weapon was carried only by samurais?
Wufei: Justice!
Anne: Wrong. Katana.
Duo -
Quatre: BANK!
Anne: It's not your turn.
Duo, what color absorbs all light and reflects none?
Duo: looks down Black!
Anne: Correct.
Trowa -
Quatre: BANK!
Anne: Trowa, what was the name of the protagonist in Moby Dick?
Trowa:.......................
Anne: Ishmael. Moving on, Ashitare -
Ashitare: BARK!
Anne: Bank?
Ashitare:.......
Anne: Who was the writer of the novel White Fang?
Ashitare: bites into one of Serena's odangos
Serena: Ow! Quit it!
Ashitare: tugs on odango Grrrrrrrr!
Washyuu: mimes pulling an imaginary ball out of the air.
You want the ball? Want the ball?
Ashitare:looks on with extreme interest
Washyuu: Go get it! Washyuu throws "ball," and Ashitare runs offstage to chase it.
Anne: Serena -
Quatre: BANK!
Heero gives Quatre patented Death Glare
Quatre: Eeep! I'll be good!
Trowa: shakes head
Anne: Serena, what is the capitol of Russia?
Serena: Ummmm....Moscow?
Anne: Correct.
Washyuu -
Washyuu: BANK! glares triumphantly at Quatre
Quatre: pouts
Anne: For $300 -
Washyuu: The answer is Normandy, France.
Anne: blinks That's...correct.
Mini Washyuu A: Yeah!
Mini Washyuu B: You RULE, Washyuu!
Anne: Quatre -
Quatre: What?
Anne: sighs Nevermind. How many letters are in the English word antidisestablishmentarianism?
Quatre: 3!
Anne: Wrong. 28.
Trowa -
Quatre: BA-
Heero switches safety off gun
Quatre: eh heh heh....
Anne: Trowa, how many decibels are in an average whisper?
Trowa: ...................
Ashitare returns with a red ball
BUZZ!
Anne: Time's up. Well, let's see who the least likely rocket scientist among you is, hmmm? Time to vote for.....The Weakest Link!
Announcer: Statistically speaking, Serena, Washyuu and Duo are the strongest links. The weakest link is Ashitare, who was not present for the majority of the round.
Heero: Zechs.
Quatre: Bank!
Duo: Wufei.
Wufei: INJUSTICE!
Ashitare: Awoooooo!
Serena: Ashitare glares at Ashitare and attempts to wipe slobber from odango
Washyuu: Wufei.
Trowa:....................
Anne:mumbling Who booked these idiots anyways?
Well, Wufei, you have been voted the weakest link. Goodbye!
backstage
Wufei: This whole thing reeks of injustice! I mean, Ashitare isn't even human! This thing's rigged! And another thing-
Anne: Well, as much as we'd LOVE to hear your gums flapping for the remainder of the hour, we must move on. Round two will continue after these messages.
Lady A: Well, that's it for Round One. Goodbye!