A/N. Hello Potheads *ahem* Potterheads, I am new to this Fandom so please be kind
Yes I have decided to do the story of things banned at Hogwarts; it is a highly overused plotline (type thing). But everyone I've seen makes me laugh
Sadly I got most of these from the internet, so I can't claim THEM but I will write some so I'll put the number/s at the bottom
Disclaimer: I will never own, get it? Okay let's move on
Thing's I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
1)I will not try to 'convert' the Hufflepuff's
2)I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur
3)Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.
4)I will not attempt to recreate The Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
5)A Time Turner is not a flux capacitor and I should therefore not install one in any muggle car
6)– no matter how 'awesome' it would be
7)I will not call Professor Snape a 'failed attempt at an emo'
8)I will not call Hufflepuffs 'spares'
9)– then shout 'KILL THE SPARE'
10)"OMGWTF" is not a proper spell.
11)I will not under any circumstance ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
12)I will not sell Harry- 2 Voldemort-0 t-shirts
13)I will not answer every one of Professor Lupin's questions with 'are you fucking Sirius?'
14)I will not ask Sirius Black if he was prisoner 24601
15)Ravenclaws are not 'crazies in training'
16)'I've heard all the jokes about Oliver Wood's name' is NOT a challenge
17)"Draco Malfoy takes it up the Arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant
18)I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
19)I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school
20) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin" day.
21)The Gryffindor lion is not aslan
22)Nor is it Rumbleror
23)I will not draw a smiley face with a snake for a tongue on a class mates arm and claim it's a 'homemade dark mark'
24)I will not take a life insurance policy on my defence against the darks Professor
25)– or on Harry Potter
26)I will not sing if I were a rich man in front of the Weasleys
27)I will not make a pin up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "voldie's angels"
28)I will not leave my dormitory when there is a visitor from the ministry
29)I will not yell "VOLDEMORT" in a crowded corridor
30)I will not call voldemort "the-man-who-let-the-boy-who-lived-live-seven-times
31)I will not call Lucuis Malfoy 'Luscious Mouthful'
32)I will not call Lucuis Malfoy 'my sugar daddy'
33)– then request he hit me with his pimp cane
34)I will not yell 'BELIVE IT...OR NOT' after Dumbledore's speeches
35)I will not scream 'AH GINGER' when I see a Weasley
36)I will not put up a Zefron poster because 'it looks boss'
37)I will not call Professor a horrid bitch and ask her what she wants when she tries to take down said Zefron poster
38)I will not ride a thestel and yell 'YE HAW'
39)I will not call Harry 'Batman'
40)I will not call Ron 'Robin'
41)I will not call Hermione 'Batgirl'
42)– or Catwoman
43)I will not ask Umbridge if she got my text
44)And then ask why she didn't text me back
45)I will not put a leash around fenrir's neck and say 'does fanny-wenny wanna go walkies?'
46)I will not bring red vines into my potion
47)-when Professor Snape asks me why answer 'Red Vines: What the hell can't they do?'
48)I will not give Voldemort a 'Born this way' t-shirt that says 'Nose' on
49)I will not call Draco Malfoy 'the new Barbie boy'
50)I will not tell Luna Lovegood there is a crumplehorned snorcrux in Professor Lockhart's hair
A/N: Okay so that's it for now, if you want more I will need reviews, so review!
So the ones I did were numbers: 7,8,9,23,35,36,37,39,40,41,42,43,44,46,47 ,48,49,50 (someone probably made them up before me so sorry if I stole yours)
Basically any with an AVPM/AVPS reference in them
*A Very Potter Musical, a Very Potter Sequel