Chapter One: The Show Must Be On

(Oh, and, uh, I've decided on the characters. Obviously. But I own none of them, save for my five.)

(Let's begin)

Chris McLean was waiting for the boat to come in. His boredom was matched by his anticipation of the massive ratings. 'Course, they'd only come if someone remembered where to park.

"C'mon, c'mon," he mumbles to himself. "How hard is it to park a boat?"

Evidently, very hard. The boat in question crashes straight into the dock.

Chris then decides it's time to start the monologue, what with the cameras being on for the past two minutes. "Welcome, one and all, to the biggest show on television!" he begins. "I'm your host, Chris McLean, in a new, exciting program for the Total Drama series. I call it…TOTAL…DRAMA…SPINOFF."

He found that emphasis brings in the ratings.

"Okay, let's see our contestants. Now, we have some regulars on the show, like… Owen, Noah, Heather, and Alejandro."

Each of the respective persons walked out, still dazed from the crash, but all trying to look good for television.

Chris continues. "However, we've trawled the shows, and dragged out some people who already star in other successful programs. Those on the list are… Finn and Jake."

The two give each other a friendship pound. "Mathematical!" Finn shouts to no one.

"There's also Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, Ice King…"

Ice King, apparently, did not realize he's being taped, and so half a million viewers can see him eyeing up Bubblegum and Marceline.

"…Johnny Test, Susan and Mary Test, Wacko, Bling Bling Boy-"

Eugene, AKA Bling Bling Boy, has a somewhat embarrassing monologue of his own. "Yes!" he shouts triumphantly. "For once, I, Bling Bling Boy, have managed to land on the same reality TV show as Susan Test!"

Someone pushes him out of the boat, and a thin, black-haired teen comes out as well. "Yeah, enough with the love attempt. We heard enough on the boat." he says.

Chris seems to not heard nor seen any of this. "And we brought some guys no one has ever heard of. Charles…" The teen waved.

"Renee…" A girl with a mask covering the top of her face is next.

"Scarface…" Some tough-looking guy with a glass eyepiece comes out, flexes a muscle, realizes no one cares, and backs out.

"And Professor Regulus." A sinister man wearing reflective goggles walks out coolly, only nodding his head. "Quite," he comments.

Once everyone is out, Chef Hatchet climbs out, rubbing his head. "That boat was complicated to steer. You said," pointing to Chris, "that you'd get English instructions next time. I can't read Portugese."

Chris changes the subject. "Now everyone will be paired up into one of three teams. Team Braves, the hero team, will have Owen, Noah, Finn, Jake, Johnny, and Charles." He waited until everyone got together. "Team Damsel is made up of Heather, Marceline, Bubblegum, the Test sisters, and Renee." Again, the group was rearranged. "Finally, Team Sinister is made of Alejandro, Ice King, Bling Bling, Wacko, Scarface, and Regulus." Once everyone got together, Chris discussed the game plan. "You can drop off your stuff in your cabins, and hang around for a bit. In an hour, I'll call everyone down for our first challenge. Now, it's first day, so we'll take it easy." He gestured to the outhouse. "Over there's our Confessional. You need to discuss something in 'private', go ahead." He clapped his hands. "Alright, campers, move out!"

Confessional

Owen: Ha ha! First one in Confessional! Yeah! So, um… coughs Uh…Yeah, I got nothing.

Noah: This is Chris McLean, right? He never 'takes it easy' on a challenge, even on first day. I'm not looking forward to it.

Heather: There must be a reason why I'm stuck with people who are younger than me. Sure, three are smart, but the other two…why? Seriously, why?

Alejandro: Why am I in Sinister? I'm not evil. I'm just evil-oriented.

Charles called top bunk, and no one argues. Finn and Jake choose another, separate bunk, to be with each other, Noah takes top and Owen bottom on a third and Johnny takes bottom of Charles bunk.

"So, what's up?" Charles attempts to make small talk. No one answers, so he presses on. "Look, for us to win a contest this big, we need to work together. So let's form an alliance like everyone else did."

Noah looks back from his book to stare at Charles. "What makes you think the other teams already got organized?"

Charles looks sheepish. "That's what I'd do."

Confessional

Charles: Okay, so that's not my first choice. First I'd disable the other teams with paint and vinegar, then raid some diaries. But, hey, you do what you have to do.

"Okay, so no alliance. What about-"

"I didn't say anything about not having an alliance," Noah comments. "I'll join if it means success. But I'm opting to drop out on the chance of you controlling us."

Owen also liked the idea. "Let's team up! That way, if one of us wins, we all win!"

"Not if I win," Johnny adds. "That money's mine. But I'll join."

"Team adventuring?" Finn questions. "This means more chance of us not dying, right?"

"Yep," everyone agrees.

"Then I'm in!"

"Yeah, me too!" Jake adds. "I won't leave you behind, buddy."

"Awesome, we're set," Charles mentions in a pretty impressed tone. "Now, some ground rules. One, we can interact with the other teams and have relationships, but don't spill anything about the alliance. Two, Sinister is not to be trusted. Three, with the exception of Johnny…" A slight nod. "We split the money with all in the alliance. So, we cool?" he finishes.

All nod.

Confessional

Johnny: Okay, it seems selfish, me wanting the money. But Johnny need money! It's a million-freakin'-dollars, man!

A noise came over the intercom.

"Attention, campers," Chris declared. "It's way shorter than an hour, but we're going to meet in the field outside your cabins for your first challenge. Be there."

Once everyone was there, Chris unveiled his challenge. "See this?" he asks, holding a ball. "This thing is a ball, for those that don't know."

Ice King slowly lowers his hand, deciding that it would look stupid if he asked what it was now.

"But this ball," Chris continues, "is filled with a special dye-pack that goes off with enough force. Like when you drop it. So your challenge is to toss it and keep it in the air. Whoever misses it gets dyed in the face. Winner is last-one-standing with his or her team members all getting Invincibility for the next night, the guy who loses to the winner and his team goes to the campfire for elimination. Got it?"

They got it.

"Great." Without warning he tosses it to Finn, who just barely catches it.

"Oh, and by the way, you can only pass it clockwise."

Finn tosses it to Renee, then to Ice King, who drops it as he wonders what way is clockwise. Dye on him never looked so good.

Confessional

Ice King: Okay, that was uncalled for. I was unprepared. Why would someone toss a ball to me when I was unprepared? considers statement Don't answer that.

The game continued, with Susan, Noah, and Regulus all taking a dive before the first lap was finished. Finn catches it, and then fumbles, spraying him and Renee.

"That counts," Chris comments from his lounge chair.

Next to go was Charles, who got cocky and tried to catch it one-handed and with fingers. Then Mary, Marceline, and Scarface lost when the second lap was done.

"You beat my expectations," Charles called to Wacko and Alejandro. "You lasted half the round and still didn't dye."

Wacko didn't let these comments bother him, but Alejandro wasn't as tone-deaf as him. He was dyed everywhere.

"Never mind," Charles calls back.

Owen, meanwhile, was as good as Wacko, if not better. Jake, Bling Bling, and Bubblegum, however, weren't.

The round developed into a three-way between Johnny, Owen, and Wacko. Everyone watched with bated breath. Wacko held the ball, raised it, and spiked it in the direction of Johnny. It hit him square in the gut, forcing Johnny to double over as he got inked.

"Hey!" Charles shouted, "That was blatant cheating! Chris," he shouts to the host, "Do something!"

Chris considers this, and finally responds, "I'm gonna allow this."

So it was just Owen and Wacko, and it was Owen's serve. He tossed a high one, which Wacko thought was too easy to catch. "Game over, kid," he taunts, hands outstretched—and misses the ball by two or three inches.

He stares down at the ground as the last ink jet comes out, soaking him and wrecking his confidence.

Everyone from Team Braves cheers, clambers over to Owen, and gives him a crowd lift. Of course, this lasts for three seconds, in which everyone gets crushed by the big guy.

"Team Braves wins the first challenge with a nice save from Owen," Chris concludes. "And Team Sinister comes with me to the campfire. It's time to vote one of you off."

Confessional

Wacko: How was I supposed to know that the ball was too far away? This is definitely not my fault.

Regulus: It was definitely Wacko's fault. That was an easy catch; even I could have caught it, and I suck at physical activities.

All of Team Sinister was assembled at the fire. Chris soon approached with a plate of marshmallows.

"So here's the deal," he starts. "You all voted against someone. The people who are staying get a marshmallow, but the only one who doesn't gets to walk the Dock of Shame onto the Boat of Losers. Now, here are the ratings.

"Scarface." He appears relieved, but quickly resumes scowling as he grabs the marshmallow. "Ice King." He catches it in a quick matter, smells it, puts it down, and does not look at it again. "Regulus, Bling Bling." Both geniuses miss the marshmallow at first try, but quickly grab it before the end of the Five-Second Rule.

"One marshmallow left, two campers," Chris comments, referring to Wacko and Alejandro. "The last marshmallow goes to…

"Alejandro."

Alejandro grabs it, but Wacko gets up and does a jig.

"What are you doing?" Chris asks, confused.

"I'm the only one who didn't get a marshmallow, so I stay on, right?" Wacko questions.

"Actually, since you were the one who didn't get the marshmallow, you don't stay on." Chris enjoyed bursting his bubble. "Dock of Shame for you, bro."

Wacko was instantly shocked. He grabbed his stuff, gave a scorching look to everyone in attendance, including the cameras and a nearby tree, and walked to the dock.

"Well," Chris adds, "That was a good start. And it's bound to get better. Who's next to go? Find out next week on TOTAL…DRAMA…SPINOFF!"

(So, yeah, that's the first chapter. Please review on how it was. And you can also suggest people to vote off next. Yes, it's that way with viewers.)