Chapter 1: Musings

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter heavily refers back to episodes 13 through 15, therefore viewing these episodes prior to reading this chapter is recommended**

It was dusk, and the sun had just begun to set. From where he stood, hidden in the shadow of a building, Jiro watched as Shu sat atop a boulder continuing to stare out blindly at the landscape, lost in his thoughts. He's been there all day, Jiro thought scathingly. Not that he could blame Shu completely; disgusted as he was with Shu's self-pitying behavior, Jiro's own thoughts had been in a snarl as of late.

After the Grankingdom forces set by Lord Nene had decimated his village and killed all of its inhabitants, including his parents and his sister, Jiro, the sole survivor, had vowed to avenge them, no matter the cost. Since that day, his solitary goal had become to defeat Lord Nene, an evil dictator bent on world domination who cared nothing for the countless villages he destroyed in the process.

Yet as he watched Shu's back, which was turned to him, Jiro was reminded of the reason he was even where he was in the first place.

Kluke, he sighed mentally. With shame, Jiro remembered how after months of rigorous training and preparation, when he had finally come face to face with Lord Nene, he had failed spectacularly in defeating the tyrant. It was only through a stroke of luck, by which Kluke had unleashed her Phoenix shadow for the first time, that Jiro and his travelling companions had been saved. Even so, Jiro thought in frustration, Kluke is lying in a coma right now. But I can't believe she was able to survive the magnitude of Nene's attack, he marveled, let alone transport us all to safety so soon after releasing her shadow! Jiro had a fleeting flashback of Shu's disastrous first release of his shadow, Blue Dragon. Such poor control, he thought with a smirk. But his amusement faded away quickly as he was reminded of the very real possibility Kluke might never wake up from her deep sleep.

He shook his head, trying to chase away the thought. I don't want to even consider that idea.

Clenching his hands, Jiro thought back to his confrontation with Zola earlier during the day. She seemed so cold, he thought angrily, And she's so mysterious sometimes, I wonder about her. I still can't believe she let us think we actually stood a chance against Nene! And what could she have meant, questioning my dedication to our quest! Could she really think I now have some new priority other than defeating Nene? Kluke's face suddenly came unbidden to his thoughts. Don't be ridiculous, he told himself. But his usually disciplined mind didn't seem to feel like cooperating; a memory from the day before that had been plaguing his thoughts for hours now surfaced:

When he and his companions had reached Grankingdom's capital, with Nene's lair in sight, inexplicably, Jiro had been unable to control his bitter emotions. Kluke, with her uncanny skills of observation, had sensed his seething anger, as had Zola, of course. "Jiro, stop. You must learn to stay in control. Don't let your emotion control you," Zola had advised him. Embarrassed, he had gone down to the river, hoping the cold water would help him calm down, when Kluke's sudden appearance startled him. Oh great, he had thought dully, She followed me here. Straightening up, Jiro had ignored the handkerchief she had offered him, pulling his own from his tunic pocket instead. "Can you wait a minute?" she had called. "What is it?" Jiro had asked dully, impatient to be alone again. "Well, I was thinking about you and your reasons for travelling with Zola and—." Jiro had been shocked she had so easily guessed what could have been bothering him. With his back towards her, he had struggled to contain his surprise and answered her too quickly with more contempt in his voice than was probably polite. "We talked about this. You already know the reason: it's to defeat Nene. It's just that simple." "Yeah…I remember. But don't you think your family is worried about you?" she had persisted. This time Jiro had barely been able to keep himself from flinching as her question struck home. "No." The word sounded heavy, even to him. "Because they were all killed." He had heard her slight intake of breath. "That's right Kluke. Both my parents… and my sister." In a leaden voice, Jiro recounted his village's destruction, and the death of his family. "And it's all because of me. Now my path is simple," he told her, clenching his fists, "either I kill Lord Nene or he kills me. One or the other. I don't care what happens to me. As long as he's defeated, I don't care, Kluke." After a beat of silence, Kluke found her voice. "I see," she said solemly, ducking her head, "I'm sorry for asking." Seeming not to hear her, Jiro continued on. "I've been having dreams of the past. And in them I'm happy. Everything around me is peaceful and quiet, but then suddenly it burns down to the ground, and it feels like I'm in hell," he finished, his voice shaking. "Darn it," he sighed, realizing he'd let his emotions get the best of him again. Swinging around abruptly to face Kluke, suddenly desperate for some reassurance from this girl he barely knew, he asked, "But who cares. They're just dreams, right?" But before she could have answered, they had spotted Grankingdom autobots flying overhead, which had effectively ended that conversation.

Thinking back on it, Jiro could not believe he had shared his story with her. Here was a girl he had met only recently, and not only had he told her about his past, which he rarely did anymore, he'd also gone and shared his most personal dreams with her. What a ridiculous child she must have thought me. Dreams. What nonsense. I should have known better, he thought, embarrassed with himself. And yet, another side of him pointed out, she had been concerned enough about him to hear him out, and to come after him and inquire after his well-being in the first place. But that couldn't possibly mean she cares for me in that way …

Jiro hurriedly tried to banish the direction his thoughts were taking. I mean, if any of my other travelling companions knew what had been bothering me I bet they would have been as worried about me too. Besides, I'm sure if they had asked I would have told any of them what I told Kluke, what with the emotional wreck I was at the time. But even as he thought the words, he knew they were not true. Zola, for all her inspirational strength and experience, honestly frightened him a little; Marumaro was only interested in one thing: females and their assets; Bouquet was too airheaded and irritatingly silly for him to ever consider confiding in her, and Shu… Jiro snorted. There was no way he would ever tell that boy anything. Especially not when he was already constantly needing to prove to himself and everyone else that he was not weaker than that imbecile. Jiro was secretly almost glad Shu was unable to use Blue Dragon's power effectively. At least with his and Minotaur's experience, Jiro still carried an edge over Shu. Focusing his thoughts again, Jiro sighed. Yes, I suppose Kluke really was the only one I would have told anything to. But that doesn't mean anything. I was just feeling emotional at the time. I mean, she's more like… a sister to me. Right?

Oh sure, another part of him whispered, like when you were trapped in that energy-draining capsule by General Schabo. I'm sure the way you felt when you heard her call out your name was just the reaction a brother would have, right?

Jiro shut his eyes tight. He couldn't take this train of thought anymore.

"Okay," he told himself, speaking aloud for the first time in hours, "Focus. Remember what it is you've been working towards: defeating Nene. It's about time you got yourself together and start thinking about the situation at hand. And that begins with training. You can't afford any more weakness the next time you encounter Nene. And you will encounter him again. And beat him." Glancing up at the shadowy outline of the boy sitting up ahead, Jiro smiled grimly. "At least I'll have a punch bag to take all this wasted emotion out on. Besides, I think it's about time Shu stopped moping around."

**This is my first ever fanfic/ short-story, so I would REALLY appreciate REVIEWS! Tell me what you think (that is, anything I've written that doesn't make sense, any plot development ideas, etc).**