Disclaimer: I own nothing. Obviously. JKR does. :)
"Master Black, pay attention, please!" The old man's face turned red as he noticed Sirius was no longer paying attention to him.
Sirius raised an eyebrow, but straightened up to look at him. Only ten years old, but he already has an attitude! The elderly professor noted.
"Thank you. As I was saying, the stars that make up Orion's belt are Mintaka, Alnilam and Alnitak."
Sirius snorted. "While you might find those names amusing, Master Black, I can assure you your parents would not be pleased with how little work you have produced so far."
"It's not fair, though! I don't see why I have to sit on the roof of the house with some old guy and a telescope when Reg is asleep downstairs! I'm really tired, and it's nearly midnight!"
"Master Regulus is eight years old and does not need to learn Astronomy at the present time."
"Yes, well I can learn this at Hogwarts, anyway!"
The professor sighed. "Your parents were insistent that I teach you astronomy. So this is what we are doing." He turned back to face the sky, pointing out some stars and talking excitedly. He didn't notice Sirius creep down the stairs and back into the house, locking the door behind him.
He was awoken at about half past one by an irate Walburga Black. "How dare you treat Professor Wilkins like that?"
"What?" Sirius sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. He was having a lovely dream about playing Quidditch, with the moon as a Quaffle and hitting his cousin Bellatrix with it.
"You know what! How dare you lock him up on the roof! You insolent little good-for-nothing!"
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, feigning innocence. "I went to use the bathroom. The door must have blown shut in the wind and locked. It's done that before you know."
"Well, tell me this," his mother said, unconvinced. "If you went to use the bathroom, why didn't you return to continue your lesson?"
"I came in here to get a blanket," he said, thanking various deities that there was a blanket at the end of his bed. "I must have fallen asleep. I really am so sorry." He raised his eyebrows expectantly.
"You just wait till tomorrow, when your father is here!" With that, she turned and stormed out of his room, her long black hair flailing wildly.
Sirius was unconcerned. After all, tomorrow was tomorrow, and right then there was a dream about Quidditch-related cousin-hitting violence to enjoy once more.
-
As it turned out, Orion Black had not returned by the next day, so Sirius assumed he was in the clear. He ate breakfast with a defiant grin on his face, while his mother practically glowed red with anger.
He spent the day alternating between fighting with Regulus and ordering Kreacher to do menial tasks which included 'arranging his socks in alphabetical order' just for the fun of watching Kreacher attempt it.
His mother prowled in the shadows of the house, screaming at him for tiny imperfections in his appearance or his lack of grace as he stomped through the halls. He ignored this as best he could, but every insult hurled at him wormed its way into his head, and when he was alone, he found they would replay like a stuck record, weakening his defences he had built against his family.
He snorted coldly. His family. These people shared his house, his reputation, his name. And how he hated the lot of them. He was currently lying on his back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Regulus was reading about pure-blood genealogy, and Kreacher was preparing dinner, so there was nothing for him to do.
He sat up, and looked around his room. There was nothing particularly exciting or significant about his room, in his eyes. The walls were bare, and this annoyed Sirius. He liked pictures. They took his mind off things, like portals to memories he had forgotten. Pictures would last, the inhabitants smiling and happy, and even if your life fell apart, they would remain. Sirius laughed at himself for being so melodramatic.
Suddenly Kreacher appeared with a 'pop' which caused Sirius to jump. "Mistress requested your presence at dinner ten minutes ago." He said with a sneer.
"Then why didn't you tell me that ten minutes ago, you little…" Sirius trailed off, knowing whatever he said would have no affect on the elf. "Forget it. But you'd better tell me on time from now on." He stood up so he was towering over the elf. He really was quite tall for a ten year old, and with his black hair in disarray and his grey eyes gleaming, he looked quite frightening. "Or you'll regret it."
He turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. He was secretly hoping he had scared the elf, but he doubted it. His mother and Regulus were sat at the table, eating their dinner. Sirius noticed they had had the politeness to wait for him. "Sirius! Why are you so late?"
"I'm late?" he said, looking innocent, for after all, he was. "I do apologise, but Kreacher only told me a minute ago, so I'm really not the one at fault." He jumped when he felt a stinging, magical slap strike his cheek and his mother stood up.
"Do not tell lies! Kreacher is obedient and told you that dinner was ready when I told him to! And don't you dare act so insolent again."
Sirius realised he was no longer hungry, but sat at the table. "Don't forget, Sirius, that you have another lesson with Professor Wilkins at half past eleven." Sirius fought back a groan. "And you will pay attention this time. Your father's home tomorrow and you'll have him to answer to."
"Tomorrow, you say? Only I thought he was meant to be back today. How am I supposed to believe you when you threaten me with Father's return? He never returns when you say he will!"
She growled at that. It frightened Sirius a bit, so he muttered an excuse and left the room. He headed for his bedroom, and immediately went to the window. He found himself doing this a lot, just staring at the night sky. He hated to admit it, but the astronomy lessons were rubbing off on him.
There was Orion's belt, and the names of the three stars were…Mintaka, something and something else. Or maybe he didn't know that much astronomy after all. He turned his attentions to the moon, an ever present eye watching over the Earth. It hung brightly, not quite full, turning Sirius' dark room a silvery colour that looked almost ethereal. Sirius sighed, and decided sleep would be needed if he were to stay awake during his late night star gazing.
-
He found himself once more sat on the flat roof of 12 Grimmauld Place, freezing cold, with a blanket wrapped around him. It was an unusually cold July night, but the sky was clear and the stars shone pleasantly. Professor Wilkins was talking about Orion, again, but Sirius persevered to not lose interest.
"Orion's left shoulder is the star Bellatrix," At this Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
"Bellatrix is Orion's shoulder? This is fantastic!" He said, storing away the information.
"Yes," the professor said, feeling a little unnerved. "Anyway, that concludes Orion." Sirius blinked. They had finished Orion? When had that happened? "Next to Orion, is his biggest hunting dog, Canis Major. The brightest star in Canis Major and indeed the sky is," he chuckled, "Sirius."
"What?"
"Pardon?"
"You said my name. Did you want something?"
"No," the professor said, frowning. "I was saying that the brightest star in the sky is in the constellation Canis Major, and the star is called Sirius."
"You're joking." The professor shook his head. "That's awesome! So I was named after the brightest star in the sky?"
"I suppose so." Professor Wilkins smiled, pleased that the boy, that usually insufferable boy, was taking an interest at last.
"Does Regulus have a star?"
"Master Regulus was named after a star."
"Which? Is he in Canis Minor?"
"Canis Minor? How did you know about that?"
"I read one of your astronomy books." Sirius said waving a hand dismissively. "Is Regulus a star in Canis Minor?"
"No, I'm afraid not. Regulus is in the constellation Leo. It, too, is one of the brightest stars in the sky."
"But Sirius is the brightest?" The elderly man nodded. "Good. Canis Major - a big dog. I suppose it's better than being someone's shoulder." He burst out laughing and Professor Wilkins hurriedly decided that one could have too much of a good thing and ended the lesson. He didn't want Sirius to wake his mother up with his almost manic laughter.
-
It was three years later, and Sirius was standing on Platform 9 and ¾ for the third time. He stood on tiptoes, peering over the crowd to locate James, Remus or Peter. Suddenly he noticed what he was looking for, a tall skinny boy with a shock of black hair and round glasses. "James!"
"Sirius! Good to see you, mate! I see you survived the summer?"
"Yep. Regulus was nicer to me. I suppose it's because it's his first year here and he knew if he upset me, I'd never be far away to get revenge." He chuckled at a wary James, and led the way to an empty compartment. As they were settling in, Remus appeared in the doorway, looking paler and more tired than ever. Sirius immediately stood up and tried to help Remus with his trunk, but Remus batted his hand away.
"Honestly, Sirius, I'm not an old, frail woman who needs help across the road!"
"Nonsense, Moony, you're looking older and frailer than ever before." He joked.
Remus straightened up and looked at him with suddenly cold eyes. "Well, that's hardly my fault, is it."
"Sorry, Remus." Sirius sat back down and looked out the window. There was a long silence before Peter arrived, and the attention was dragged away from Sirius and his glistening eyes, that were glaring fiercely out of the window, and trying to stop the tears from overflowing.
-
Sirius was lying, wide awake, in his bed that night. He had been like that for about two hours and was getting sick of it. He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. He peered through his curtains to see three other beds, all with closed curtains. He got up, and went over to his trunk, being as quiet as he could. He rummaged through until he found it; a black notebook that was rather thin, like most of the pages had been torn out.
Sirius left the dorm room and headed to the Common Room, where the fire still burnt cheerfully. He headed straight to the window and peered out. The window had a large sill so Sirius perched there, with his notebook still at hand. Still staring at the moon, he opened the notebook to the first page.
It was his handwriting, albeit slightly messier than his current handwriting, but his nonetheless.
The brightest star in the sky is in the constellation Canis Major, and the star is called Sirius. And that's awesome.
Sirius laughed to himself.
The brightest star in the constellation Leo is called Regulus. That is also awesome, because Sirius is brighter than Regulus. Take that, Reg.
Sirius felt a pang of pain in his chest. Regulus had been Sorted into Slytherin that night. That was the night Regulus Black had been lost to the darkness that stirs deep within the Black family and the Slytherin house. His parents would be proud. At least one of their sons turned out the way they wanted. Sirius looked back at the notebook, and closed it with a sigh. Suddenly a floorboard creaked, and Sirius nearly fell off the windowsill when he saw Remus standing there with a wary look on his face.
"Sirius...I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I was horribly rude to you and I know I upset you. I'm sorry."
"It's alright, Rem. I know the moon's in a few days."
"How can you tell?"
Sirius held up his notebook. He hadn't shown it to any of his friends before, he had never felt the need before. "Phases of the moon in here. Mother made me take astronomy lessons the summer before I came to Hogwarts. I learnt a lot, if I'm honest. The teacher didn't like me, though. It might have been because I kept locking him up on the roof." Sirius chuckled and Remus moved closer to look at the notebook.
"Wow. I didn't know that about the Dog-Star."
"The Dog-Star?"
"The star, Sirius. It's also called the Dog-Star."
"What didn't you know about it?"
"That it's the brightest." He paused so he could read the second paragraph concerning Regulus. "Hey, I'm sorry about Regulus. It must have been hard, to see him go into Slytherin."
"I suppose so. Still, it's ironic that Regulus is in Leo, the lion, and he turns out to be a snake like the rest of them. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up."
Remus placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Perhaps not. But he's still your brother."
"S'pose so." Sirius reached up and placed his own hand on top of Remus', which was resting on Sirius' shoulder. He rubbed in small circles with his thumb, and Remus shivered before he could stop himself. "You cold?" Sirius asked immediately.
"Uhh, no. I'm fine."
"Remus Lupin." Sirius said, and Remus raised his eyebrows at the sudden change of topic, and at being addressed by his full name. Sirius suddenly huffed a laugh and let his hand drop to his lap. Remus removed his own hand, missing Sirius' warmth. He wondered when he started thinking things like that. "Remus Lupin. Ha!"
"What? I don't see why you're laughing at my name," Remus said, half confused, half annoyed.
"Lupin. Like 'lupus'. 'Wolf'."
"Oh, the irony." Remus deadpanned. "Honestly, Siri, didn't you think I knew that? Should I tell you what 'Black' means? Well, it's a colour that's very dark-"
"You can be a git sometimes, Moony." Sirius said, and Remus could hear there was no hint of anger in his voice. Remus just chuckled. "He's gone, Remus." Remus stop laughing and looked at him. He understood without asking. Regulus.
"He's not gone, Siri. You'll still see him."
"Not that way. I mean, the past few years, I tried so hard, Moony. I tried so hard to not let him believe Mother and Father because they're so wrong and he's still really young and impressionable. I've failed, though. He's a Slytherin now, and all that I told him about Muggles and Muggle-borns will be forgotten. I've failed him. I always held out hope that he'd be a Gryffindor, maybe even a Ravenclaw, he's smart, see. I've lost him though. I've lost him to the Blackness."
Remus found he couldn't reply, and just pulled Sirius into a tight embrace while the dark haired boy tried his hardest not to cry again. Remus was sure Sirius was expecting words of comfort from him, but Remus' silence spoke more than words could.
They broke apart in silence, and suddenly Sirius was pulling Remus out of the Common Room by the hand and hurtling along the empty corridors. Remus found himself unable to complain, and concentrated instead on running to keep up and the warmth of Sirius' hand in the dark night. Remus slammed into Sirius as he stopped running, and Remus saw they were stood in front of the door to the Astronomy Tower.
Remus' breathing hitched. The Astronomy Tower was infamous for being the place where many student couples went to, err, talk together after curfew. Remus fervently hoped they didn't interrupt anyone. "Sirius," he hissed. "What are we doing here?"
"Patience, Moony. We're gonna look at the stars!"
He whispered 'alohamora!' and the door clicked and swung open. Sirius turned and beamed at Remus.
They climbed the stairs silently. Sirius realised he was still holding Remus' hand and instantly dropped it, blushing. They burst out onto the top of the tower, directly under the moon, and they cast moonshadows as the stood, shivering. "I should have thought this through." Sirius regretted, wrapping his arms around himself in an effort to keep warm. Remus laughed softly, and sat down.
"We're here now. Sit down." He patted the ground next to him. Sirius obeyed, and Remus wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"Wh-what are you doing?"
"Sharing body warmth."
"Oh. Okay." Sirius said, putting his arm around Remus and leaning his head back to look at the stars. The wolf inside Remus stared at Sirius' pale, exposed neck, and Remus shivered as he fought back the wolf. Sirius just hugged him closer. "Look there." He said softly, pointing to a star. "That's me."
"That's you. I'll admit, you look better than a star, though." Remus began mentally banging his head against a wall for saying something so stupid.
"Well, obviously." Sirius smiled in a very charming way. Sirius stared at Remus. He watched as his dark eyelashes brushed his pale cheekbones, and the way his golden eyes stood out vividly from their silvery surroundings. The way his hair fell over his eyes, so he looked shy and unassuming. It made him seem almost vulnerable, when Sirius knew he was anything but.
Before he knew what he was doing, he reached out and took Remus' hand in his. Remus' eyes widened but he made no attempt to pull away. Slowly, trembling, Sirius brought Remus' hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles gently. "Remus..." he whispered breathlessly, "I don't know what I'm doing, and it's probably a stupid thing to risk our friendship on but I...I...er, I..."
"Stop mumbling, Sirius." Remus hooked his fingers under Sirius' chin and pressed their lips together. The kiss was clumsy and shy, but Sirius thought it felt so right, and all the affection never bestowed on him by his family was being made up for in that one, brief kiss from Remus.
Sirius smiled shyly while Remus blushed and found a rock on the floor to be fascinating, and didn't take his eyes off it for a while. Sirius unhooked his arm from Remus' waist and brushed the back of his fingers along Remus' jaw.
"Moony...it's destiny, you know. The moon and the star. Whatever happens, we'll always be together. If not here, then up there." He said, gesturing to the sky.
"That's ridiculously cheesy, Sirius. But you're right." Remus hesitated then leaned in to place a kiss on Sirius' lips again. "Do you think it's odd? Having half your family named after stars?"
"I suppose so. In years to come, when we're all gone, people will look up at the sky and be reminded of us. I think that's what they wanted. To never be forgotten, and to always be there." He shuddered. "Still." He said in a brighter tone. "They're all as cold and desolate as the stars they were named after. Apart from me, of course."
"Sirius, stars aren't actually cold, they're like our Sun...very, very hot."
"Well, in that case, the only person in my family that is anything like a star is me." He said, leaning close to Remus' ear. "Very, very hot."He whispered, and they both laughed in the cold night, and when the need for oxygen became apparent, they broke apart and lay down, breathless and grinning, hand in hand, to look at the night in all it's glory. No words were spoken, the other's comforting presence was enough for Sirius and Remus.
They eventually returned to the dormitory, and Sirius' revelation gained him access to Remus' bed, and they fell asleep instantly, arms entwined and smiles on their faces, like the love struck 13 year olds they were.
Sirius dreamed about Remus, and how he was so like the moon. How he was mysterious and people knew little about him save a select few. How he disappeared completely once a month, like a new moon, but was there again the next day. He dreamt about how Remus and the moon had been interlinked since he was a wide eyed six year old, who was forced to run for his life through a dark wood before his life changed forever. During all his fear, and his pain, the moon has shone above him regardless. He would grow to depend on the moon, and regard it with both reverence and fear. Sirius thought about life without Remus and compared it to the night without the moon. Incomplete, lonely, dark.
Remus dreamt about Sirius, and how he was so like the star. Ever since he had met him, he had been so close, yet so inaccessible. You could reach out all you wanted, but you could never touch him. So Sirius the Dog-star would shine, so would Sirius the boy. He would light up a room with his laughter, his smile, even just his presence. When plotting some 'dastardly scheme' his grey eyes would come alive and one would find it easy to get lost in them. Remus had, on several occasions. But he could also be cold, and distant, like the stars appeared. Especially when his mother wrote to him and complain some more, his back would straighten, his smile would vanish and his eyes would go cold. His voice slipped back into it's refined, pureblood accent, and the whole effect was quite intimidating.
That was the effect his family had on him, no matter how far away he was, they always pulled him back, like gravity.
-
At fourteen years old, Remus fell in love. He told no one, not even Sirius. He never dreamt of telling his parents, for he knew they'd say he was too young to know what love was. No he didn't know love, he was just a small fourteen year old with hair that was too long and robes that were too big for him.
-
At fifteen years old, Sirius betrayed his first love. He did something so terrible he couldn't face his true love for weeks afterwards. One October night, however, he ran into Remus in an empty corridor. Remus had stood there with hate burning in his eyes, he looked wild and feral. "I've been to the library today, Sirius." He said through gritted teeth. "I found a book. A book about the stars. It had a whole chapter on Sirius the Dog-star," he spat out like it was poison, "that you seem to talk about so much. Do you know what it said?" He asked with cold politeness.
Sirius had shaken his head, afraid. "Huh. I didn't think so. The ancient Greeks had a poem about Sirius." He thrust a bit of parchment into Sirius' hand.
Sirius rises late in the dark, liquid sky
On summer nights, star of stars,
Orion's Dog they call it, brightest
Of all, but an evil portent, bringing heat
And fevers to suffering humanity
"And that sums you up quite well, I find." Remus said with icy coldness. "You make humanity suffer, Sirius. You only ever think of yourself."
"I make humanity suffer?" Sirius had said, his voice wavering as he fought back the tears that had lately seemed ever present. "I hope you don't mean yourself. After all, you're a werewolf. You're not human." He had turned on his heel and strode off, glad that he had made it back to the empty Common Room before he had burst into tears.
And so the hostility had been between them, until on the next full moon Remus had broken his arm, his leg, his collarbone, two ribs, and had lost so much blood he nearly died. Sirius decided Remus was very much a human, one he couldn't live without, and had sat by Remus' bed for the whole week while he recuperated.
Remus had decided that Sirius was very capable of thinking of others, when he woke up to find Sirius sat there, and the relief he felt that Sirius had not left him was too much to ignore.
-
His fingers stopped when they brushed an old notebook, faded and worn, and very familiar. He had not seen it since he was thirteen.
The first page had only a few sentences on it.
The brightest star in the sky is in the constellation Canis Major, and the star is called Sirius. And that's awesome.
The brightest star in the constellation Leo is called Regulus. That is also awesome, because Sirius is brighter than Regulus. Take that, Reg.
The next few pages talked a bit about constellations, including Orion, where Orion's shoulder, Bellatrix was mentioned regularly. This was obviously a source of hilarity, but he didn't understand why. Then, on the last page, looking more recent, was neat, elegant writing.
While the stars represent my family, the moon represents my love. My family, the stars, are distant while my love, the moon, is so much closer. And Remus will always be there for me. And I will always be there for him. And that's enough, don't you think.
He closed the notebook silently. With practiced movements, Remus walked to the bedroom window. Locating Sirius didn't take long, and Remus smiled. How many nights had been spent just looking, exploring? Remus would never forget Sirius' exclamations of joy at each shooting star, or years later, when Remus had first met Padfoot, Sirius' joy at truly becoming the Dog-star.
Sirius' words came back to him. In years to come, when we're all gone, people will look up at the sky and be reminded of us. I think that's what they wanted. To never be forgotten, and to always be there.
Remus agreed with the Black family for the first time in his life. Sirius would never be forgotten. He would always be there, shining as brightly as the boy's eyes when the Marauder's Map had been perfected.
Remus would look up into the sky and he would be reminded of him. Remus smiled for the first time in so long, and turned back to the empty house. He walked with canine grace and silence and entered the dark, dusty room where the Black family tapestry stood.
Remus examined the names. Pollux, Castor, Orion, Andromeda, Bellatrix, Regulus, and more. The gold lettering of their names glinted softly in the night, but none shone brighter than Sirius, gone, but never forgotten.
-
So much time had passed since those lazy Hogwarts nights, but Sirius' voice rang clear, and Remus remember one night, the four Marauders lying on the cool grass by the lake, a few weeks before they had graduated. 'And you, Moony. When you're gone, however much it pains me to think of it, the moon will still watch over the Earth like the lovely prefect you are. And I, Sirius the Dog-star, will shine down on you, Moony, the, err, the moon and look after you. We'll be together even then.'
Remus had wanted to asked him, 'why must you always talk about people dying whenever we look at the stars?' but the only thing that could come out was 'we will, Sirius. Like you said in third year. It's destiny. The moon and the star. Together forever.' And Sirius had leaned down to kiss him gently while James and Peter groaned and covered their poor eyes.
Remus had always despised it when people say 'life flashed before them' when they were about to die. And for Remus, it was wrong. That lazy night under the stars with his two best friends and his first and true love, talking about being together forever, flashed before his eyes before he died.