Erm... yeah. I did a thing. I tried myself on Cassamore, a while ago already actually but I never dared posting it.

But since I've been MIA lately and still haven't finished the current chapter to Broken (I'm very busy on it tho), I thought I could throw this one in finally to give it a chance.

I guarantee for nothing though. It might me good. Or bad. I don't know.

However, I just hope you'll like it. Have fun!

PS: This work is dedicated to JackTheSinister_JakeTheJust, the Queen of Cassamore and I hope I won't disappoint you, love :3

Cass stood in front of the door he'd walked through uncountable times already, his fingers closed around the sparekey to Enzo's loft, clamping down on it tightly. Outside the apartment complex the skies opened up and poured down on the nightly world.

He'd seen Enzo's caller ID on his phone after coming back from a long and relaxing bath and there had been a message on his voicemail. Not without you. Confusing enough in its words and the weird quiet voice it had been spoken, slurred though and it told Cass that Enzo was drunk. Drunk... alone at home because that was where his friend had wanted to spend the night and stuck in a mood that was... difficult. Without anyone. Even without him.

As if the fact that Enzo had not even wanted him around wasn't unsettling him enough, no. And so he'd called back, only to be greeted by the other man's voicemail. He'd tried it again and a third time before he'd sent a text message that remained unanswered. That was why in the end he'd headed here to check on his friend because it wasn't Enzo's style to lock him out like he did tonight. It was more than just unsettling.

And now he was standing here like an idiot and unsure what to do. Go in and check on his friend to make sure he was okay? Stay out and respect Enzo's wish to be alone?

But he was Enzo's best friend, his brother... wasn't he? Didn't that mean that he had to make sure his friend was okay, even if it meant to ignore his wish?

No.

Yeah.

Fuck yes, it was.

A heavy sigh flew past his lips as he briefly closed his eyes and rubbed his free hand down his face before looking out of the big window of the corridor, watching as the tropical phenomenon was taking place just outside the apartment complex, pelting against the glass and down on the heated concrete of the streets, the bright white light of the electric shocks it was bringing with illuminating the dead almost darkness.

The storm somehow reminded him of Enzo. It was beautiful und untamed and Cass wanted to throw himself into it but he knew he'd just get hurt or lost. Or worse... lose Enzo... if he dared...

The thought was like a paper cut, sharp yet not, blunt and so much worse than any kind of pain he'd ever experienced. And just like a paper cut it left a wound that he knew wasn't going to heal fast, even if it was nothing but a thought.

Cass had mentioned more than once that if he would ever get married, that the very person had to be like Enzo and everyone always just laughed and Enzo, too, like Cass was joking. Only that no one ever did realize that he was never joking and that literally every word he spoke... that he meant it. That very person had to be like Enzo.

Because he loved Enzo...

But he couldn't have him because Enzo was his best friend and the other man was chasing skirts, not dicks. And so underneath the shelter of a bond that went beyond simple friendship, something that was more of a brotherhood... if this was even the right word... Cass always smiled at his friend while his heart silently called out to him over the storm of emotions and feelings, a storm that was raging in the big man, a storm that quietened by the walls he was hiding it behind...

Tell me that you love me, it begged.

Unheard. Always... unheard...

How often had he watched Enzo walk out the door with a girl in his arm when they were out while he stayed behind. Those were nights when Cass wouldn't find sleep, not even for a single hour... staring at the wall while trying to steady his breath or to breathe at all while a hot-cold weight wore down on him, making him squirm under the pressure. Nights when he'd found himself tossing and turning and eventually confessing the truth to the darkness instead of saying the words to Enzo.

How often had he told him that he loved him? Uncountable times. Ah know was what Enzo always replied, with a smile on his lips and giving the sentiment right back at him. But he didn't. Enzo did not know. How could he?

And Cass smiled lies because it made things safe while everything was red when he pictured Enzo with a girl, images of hands roaming the body of the man who owned his heart, hands which weren't Cass'. Hands which had no right to touch the beautifully inked skin. The idea of kisses being stolen from the lips he longed to claim, those kisses he wasn't allowed to taste, it left a sour tang on his tongue.

Mental suicide.

Then... and now. He should stop it, really. No self-pity. He needed to go in there now and make sure Enzo was okay. Lifting the hand he was holding the key in, he looked at the item that gleamed in a cold silver as another flash ripped the nightly sky apart. A thunder followed, resonating in the corridor. Wasn't the weather matching the situation ridiculously perfect?

Nodding lightly to himself, he unlocked the door and stepped over the threshold. The loft was dyed in darkness except for a weak light that was creeping through the crack of the not fully closed bedroom door.

A flash... lifting the darkness away momentarily, making the straight-lined, sparse interior look skeletal and like a drawing, not like a place someone would live in. And it granted Cass a glimpse on things which lay scattered all over the floor. He couldn't make out what those things were exactly but they were evidences that something was wrong here. Definitely.

Walking over to the bedroom, Cass felt and heard things getting crushed under his shoes. Glass? Maybe.

Enzo was sitting there in his boxers on the floor, his shoulders hunched, legs stretched out and his hands resting in his lap, the fingers loosely curled around the neck of the bottle that was sitting between his legs. His head was bowed. The bedside lamp was on, its dim light barely able to fight the night off. Slowly Cass approached him and the closer he came, the more he noticed details. Shards of a broken beer bottle were lying on the floor. Enzo's knees were sporting scratches, as if he'd taken a trip to the ground. There was no reaction as he walked towards him and the worry he was feeling ever since he'd heard the message on his voicemail got so much worse with every step...

"'Zo?" he called quietly.

For a brief moment there was no reaction. Then... a sigh. One of the hands twitched lightly.

"Leave me'lone..."

The usually full voice sounded eerily hollow and the words were slurred. But instead of leaving, Cass continued his way towards his friend.

"No," he replied softly. "No, I'm not leavin'."

This time the answer was immediate.

"Go..."

And then Cass was at Enzo's side, kneeling down beside him and he reached out to put the almost empty bottle of... whisky... aside... but the very second his fingers touched the bottle, Enzo's fingers closed around it in a death grip.

"Leave me'lone, Colin," Enzo growled weakly and it wasn't so much the growl as more the use of his full first name... because Enzo seldom called him Colin.

Carefully putting a hand on his friend's which were holding the bottle tightly, he murmured: "Let go of the bottle, 'Zo."

And because Enzo did not, he began to gently pry the fingers off of it.

"Fuck off, Cassady."

And although the message of the words was clear, there was surprisingly little resistance as he continued to loosen Enzo's fingers and also as he took the bottle away from him, putting it out of reach. He didn't let go of the other man's hands though and Enzo... he didn't pull them back.

"Not goin' anywhere," he sighed. "What's wrong, 'Zo?"

His gaze flicked over to the hurt knees and his chest clenched. After their lost match yesterday Enzo had looked so devastated, so sad that Cass had barely managed to hold himself back from just wrapping him up in a tight hug, kiss him and make it good somehow. Yeah, it was a storyline and yes, Enzo had known that they wouldn't win. Still it hurt. It fucking hurt to rip yourself apart out there and leave the ring with nothing but bruises and empty hands. That they would have their big moments was barely a comfort in a moment like that...

But as he looked back at his friend now, not only his chest clenched but his heart ached badly at the expression he found there. It was gravely empty yet sad at the same time. "'Zo," he whispered, laying a hand on the other man's cheek but Enzo turned is face away. "Don't do that," he pleaded. "Don't shut me out."

No answer but at least he met Cass' gaze and he still didn't pull his hand out of his hold. The usually grey blue orbs were dark like charcoal in the half-light, not bright and sparkling like they usually were and Enzo's lips looked pale, tight. There was something seriously wrong with him tonight, maybe even longer already without Cass noticing anything and he cursed himself for not realizing sooner that things weren't okay.

When was the last time he'd heard him laugh. Not just laugh but really laugh, freely and genuinely? Off screen? Actually... he couldn't remember.

The silence was thick for a moment, bitter and dark. Darker than the nightly sky between the glaring flashes. There were so many things lying on Cass' tongue, wanting to be spoken out aloud. Like, never shut me out like this again and leave me worrying my ass off. Like, you know you can trust me, so please talk to me. Like, let me make it better... somehow. But instead of saying it and pushing Enzo to talk to him, he kept his mouth shut and waited because his friend still did not pull his hands back and that message spoke so much louder than the words which had sent him away. Enzo would speak. Eventually. At least he hoped he would. It wasn't the first time that he was waiting for his friend to open up, though the situations before had never been so... dark...

Laying one of his hands on the other man's knee, he carefully ran his fingers over it to take in the damage, mindful of the busted open and bloody patch of skin. Enzo didn't even flinch. There was no reaction at all. Cass' sigh was loud in the absence of words between them. For a second he allowed his hand to rest on one of the sore knees, his palm flat again the heated skin, and for that second he willed the heat not to result out of anything worse than just the visible damage.

"Ya knees need to be taken care off," he mumured then before he moved to stand.

He didn't get far though.

Fingers closed around his hand suddenly, holding on to it tightly, desperatly almost. Don't go, that hold said. Don't leave me alone here. He sat back down then, quietly gazing at his friend whose head was bowed again, hiding away those eyes which usually spoke to him like a book. His hand was still trapped in Enzo's.

"'Zo..." he whispered.

A plea. And briefly those fingers tightened their hold.

"M'sick of no gettin' what I want," he heard Enzo say eventually, the voice still eerily hollow as he rested his head back against the wall behind him, closing his eyes. "S'is funny, y'know? There's this thing I want but m'not allowed to hold..." Enzo slurred, rolling his head against the wall with a smile tugging at his lips. A tiny, twisted smile that shouldn't have been there because it was much too bitter. "N'then there's this thing I want'n hold..." Again the fingers tightened their hold briefly... before Enzo cracked his eyes open, looking Cass straight in the eyes. Enzo's stormy blues were heavily lidded in exhaustion, dull yet glistening... with unshed tears... and the twisted smile died down on those lips as he continued to speak. "... but m'not allowed to have it."

Cass knew that one of the things Enzo was referring to was the tag-team belt but he wasn't sure what the other thing was and also if it was the right moment to dig further and find out about it. Their gazes were still locked. He'd seen Enzo drunk so often already and in those moments there was this usually safely hidden side of his friend that came to the fore. The heavy, overly emotional and sometimes slightly depressive part of him of which probably no one knew but Cass.

"Ya not workin' ya ass off for nothin'," he replied softly, now also tightening his hold on his friend's hand slightly. "Ya one of NXT's best. The world knows ya name. People love ya. And you'll be wearin' the title around ya waist soon."

"S'not only that," Enzo mumbled.

The stormy blues flicked back and forth, the expression in them glassy and distant at first before it became loud and heavy and right here. It seemed to cry out to Cass... only that for once he couldn't understand the message Enzo's eyes were telling him, couldn't read their words.

"Talk to me, 'Zo. I ain't no mindreader," he replied lowly, giving him a soft smile. "Ya know that ya can tell me anything, don't ya?"

What he got was a half-snort-half-huff-something. Enzo was smiling, too, now. And it was bitter.

"Yeah I know... s'is just not that easy, ya know?" The slurring was becoming worse, Cass noticed. If the alcohol in the other man's system was on its way of reaching its peak or if it was just tiredness that was adding to his friends drunken stupor, Cass wasn't sure. His musing came to an aprubt stop though at Enzo's next words. "M'lone..."

Cass blinked slowly, frowning in partly once more deepening worry and also partly in confusion.

Alone?

"Ya not alone, 'Zo. Ya got Mella and me," he murmured, watching his friend's gaze break away, fixing on the ground instead. "And I ain't goin' nowhere. Not tonight, not tomorrow. Never. Okay?"

I would never leave your side, even if my life was depending on it.

Silence for a moment and Cass was waiting for a reaction, for a hint that Enzo understood. He wanted to make him feel better, to get him out of that deep hole that this poisonous mixture of an unsolved problem, bad mood and alcohol had dug.

"No. No, I'm..." Brows furrowing... a hand being lifted to the tattooed chest and... and a finger tapping the spot right above Enzo's heart. "M'lonely n'here. 'Cause I can't have'em, y'know?"

Oh... Oh.

And for a few long seconds Cass could only stare at his friend as the information sink in, leaving deep scratches in his own heart and this sour taste on his tongue because Enzo was in love, wasn't he, had lost his heart to someone that would steal him away from Cass once they knew that they could have him.

Swallowing hard on the sour taste to get rid of it, he averted his eyes for a moment. What kind of a best friend was he, to think about himself when this was all about Enzo? Pushing his own jealousy aside and be there for the man he loved, that wad his goddamn job, even if he'd end up being the lonely and hurt one.

"Why ain't ya tellin' them what ya feelin' for them?" he somehow managed to bring over his lips, aware of how forced it sounded.

He couldn't help it though, because encouraging Enzo to go and get his love was maybe the right thing to do but it hurt like hell.

"Can't. Told ya s'is not easy. I'd ruin it all..." A heavy, heavy breath passed Enzo's lips. "Wouldn'want me anyway."

Enzo wouldn't believe him when he told him now that he was beautiful. Even now that he was a mess of tired eyes and shaking hands, one balled to a fist and resting in his lap and the other holding on to Cass. Beautiful, even with tangled hair that he couldn't put his fingers through and a busted open knee. That he was beautiful inside and out.

It scared Cass to see his friend like this and it was what he wanted to tell Enzo but he wouldn't because he knew that telling him wasn't making anything better right now.

Lifting a hand to the desaster that was his friend's hair, he ran it over the ruffled mohawk affectionately, savoring the feeling of it against his palm, just as the feeling of the softness and warmth of Enzo's skin as his hand found a home in the back of the other man's neck.

"Who is it?" he asked. There wad no reply though. "Ya trustin' me, don't ya?"

A single, light nod.

Then: "With'm life..."

"Then tell me, 'Zo."

Shaking his head no, Enzo all but whispered: "Ya wouldn'understand." And again sigh was breathed into the bit of space between them, thick with alcohol and defeat. "M'so tired, Cass. So fuckin' tired..."

Nodding slightly, Cass sighed, too, and leaned a little forward to bring his arms around the other man to help him getting up from the floor. The hold on his hand vanished only reluctantly.

"Then we should get ya drunken ass into bed," he muttered.

Arms came up around him, holding on to him then as he more of less lifted Enzo up from the floor, the short way over to the bed being a struggle and when they eventually got there, Enzo dropped onto the mattress like a dead weight, not letting go of him though what caused him to end up lying on the smaller man like an oversized blanket.

In any other situation he wouldn't have minded being in this spot. Like, in the ring during the training. Like, with a sober Enzo doing this because he wanted Cass. But not when he was drunk like sailor and no longer in complete control of himself. He wanted to move, really, somehow getting out of this position but the other man's arms were locked around his back and tightly so, keeping him pinned against him. Just like Enzo's eyes made it impossible right now to move away as they kept his own eyes trapped with a sudden softness that was lying in them, veiling all the dark things which had been there just a moment ago. Softness... and a faint sparkling... both causing his poor heart to trip.

"Y'shouldn' have come here," Enzo slurred, blinking slowly.

"Had to make sure you're 'kay," Cass murmured, his forearms framing the other man's head as he braced on them.

"M'not... not 'kay..."

And Cass wanted to say that it was fucking obvious that he wasn't okay as the hold on him loosened as Enzo lifted an arm away, giving the big man the chance to move away. Only that he couldn't. Fingers grabbed a fistful of his hair, roughly pulling him down. Foreheads met, noses bumping due to the awkward angle and the air Cass sucked in as he drew a surprised gasp tasted of booze and... Enzo. He wanted to say something, only that no word left his mouth.

The fingers in his hair held on in a vice grip and the hand that was still there on his back fisted his shirt and with a groan Enzo tilted his head just a bit, just enough that... that their lips touched oh so faintly.

Fuck. Fuck.

Get away, his head yelled.

Stay right there, his heart demanded while it jumped and ran.

It left him torn. It left him savoring and aching.

A tingling chased down his spine as those lips moved against his own as the other man whispered: "Don'go."

"Not goin' anywhere, 'Zo," he replied, not even knowing how he managed to speak at all. "But ya gotta let go of me now."

Just please, don't do it.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Just... don't...

But the hands dropped down and onto the mattress and the moment was gone, too soon yet it was better like this and as soon as Cass crawled away, already missing the feeling of the firm body against his own the very second the contact was lost, Enzo turned over and curled up to a ball.

Remaining montionless on the spot he was standing, Cass took in the heap of drunken depression that was his best friend and he wasn't quite sure who of the two of them was more confused right now. What was this all about? What the hell was going on here? Stay away. Don't go. And why did Enzo refuse to talk to him? Why wouldn't he tell him who...

The sting that pierced through his chest as his mind latched on a certain name was bright-hot.

Carmella.

No. No, that couldn't be, right? It had been a damn storyline and... just... no. It couldn't be Carmella. Somehow the idea of Enzo being with Carmella was even worse than the tought of seeing him any other girl and he couldn't even tell why. It was Carmella. Their friend, a part of their family and he loved her but...

Not her and Enzo.

Running his hand over his hair to the back of his neck, Cass tilted his head back and stared up to the ceiling, gritting his teeth because his chest tightened and his heart ached.

Get a fucking grip, Cassady. Do your job and be there for him.

His name being whispered reached his ears and with an inaudible sigh he began to strip to his boxers. Patching Enzo's knees up would have been a futile attempt now since there was no chance of getting him to the bathroom now. Switching the beside-lamp off, he walked around the bed and climbed onto the free side of the king-sized bed, inching over until he was lying close to Enzo. The mattress bounced a bit as he got comfortable, earning him an incoherent mumbling from his friend whose tired eyes greeted him as he turned onto his side, facing Enzo. The softness had almost vanished from them, had given way to something Cass couldn't put his finger on but he had no time to figure it out because Enzo closed his eyes then.

"Not w'thout ya, C'ss" he whispered, the faint puff of air fleeting over Cass' face who leaned a little closer, close enough to notice the barely there twitching of the lips which had him addicted already by only a faint touch.

"Not without me... what? What, Enzo?" he whispered back. Nothing. "'Zo?"

What he got then was... a soft snore.

"Really? Ya fallin' asleep on me now?" he snorted bitterly.

This could only happen to him, right? On the other hand it was probably better to talk about whatever was going on when Enzo was sober again and when Cass would be able to read in those stormy blues what was going on in his friend.

Enzo...

He'd written Enzo a dedication page inside the book that was his life, hoping that one day the man who owned his heart would read it. And maybe Enzo would never find that page... but Cass could hope, couldn't he? Yeah, he hoped. Wished. Had since what felt like forever. Would. Forever. Even if one day there would be a girl at Enzo's side. Like... Carmella...

Screwing his eyes shut, Cass forcefully scratched the thought away from the canvas of his mind, although he knew that it was too late already, that this would be one of those nights.

Briefly the darkness behind his closed eyelids was wiped away by a shivering brightness as the storm raged on out there, the thunder that followed sending its echoe throughout him.

Cracking his eyes open again, he let his gaze roam Enzo's handsome face. He looked peaceful, now that the dark shadows were chased away by this alcohol induced oblivion he had slipped into. With a sad little smile Cass brought his hand closer to the other man's, gingerly hooking his pinky behind Enzo's while he did his best to blank his mind. He didn't want to think. Not about who it was Enzo was in love with nor what would be happening tomorrow once his friend was sober again.

Funny, wasn't it? That this now was what he wished he could have every night? Staying awake while Enzo fell asleep beside him, curled up next to him? Scooting a bit closer until he could feel the warmth that radiated off of the other man's body, he once more tried to blank his mind of any thoughts and fill the space with the feeling of being close to Enzo.

And as the hours went so very slowly, it was once again only the darkness that was witness as Cass silently confessed those three little words to the sleeping man beside him and the love he felt for Enzo remained hidden his sad heart, bright though like a fogdog in the mist...

- tbc -

Well then... how did you like it? Want me to continue the story?