Title: ...I shouldn't though
Rating: T at Most
Characters/Pairings:
MiharuxYoite
Disclaimer:
Don't
own
Summary:
"I don't
want to die"
Notes:
First time
trying to write for the Nabari Fandom. Hope you enjoy :D
"I don't want to die"
The moment you said that my voice was caught, I wanted to promise you that you wouldn't die... but I couldn't. I wanted to search the shelves (for even within the coppery scent of blood filling my senses a taunting sprinkle of antiseptic could be distinguished) tear them down and find a life saving cure to that gaping hole in your side... but I didn't know how to use it correctly anyway. I felt I needed to utter promises of life into the shell of you ear, smile reassuringly... but I shouldn't.
Not when I could feel your life ebbing away under my fingertips. Not when the body I was grasping onto as if it were my lifeline was slowly turning cold, absorbing – snatching - the little body heat I could offer in the freezing cold basement. Your breath tickled, cold and clammy and not like the breathe of a person in full health, not of a person who was destined to live. The chest rested against myself heaved in a pitiful attempt to fill your oxygen deprived body. Sensing your demise was crouching – ready to spring upon us - just over the horizon panic took over.
My indifference was disappearing just as your life was, except at a faster decline. It was tumbling down the side of the mountain – while your life was strolling and pausing and clutching to the mountainside - and I was honestly afraid that if I didn't stop the decent before it reached the foot of the mountain... I would lose my indifference. My lifeline in the Front.
It did reach the bottom though, with a grand spectacular crash, despite my attempts to halt it - to recollect myself. Briefly I took a moment, mourned what I thought was to be the last of my indifferent streak. Isn't it funny, Yoite, how a Kira user, a bringer of death, can finally awaken the life of a shinranbansho host?
It's disgustingly ironic in every sense of the word.
(You didn't die on that day, and neither did my indifference. Thanks to the Shinranbansho both live on, for now, even if the latter is just a shell I have chosen to continue to live in. I am now a boy masquerading behind a mask of apathy instead of a boy living in a cage created by apathy.
Both – your life and my impassiveness - will be sustained until that day when I can utilise our savoir and see you disappear, as if you never existed. I have a feeling that my indifference, as if it never were, will disperse with your death.
...Ne, I wonder if I will still remember you... because at that time, when I grant your hearts desire, you will have never existed.)