A/N: My mind has serious problems. I don't own Leverage!
Happy Drugs
"I don't get why we can't have a day off" Eliot grumbled
"Eliot's right we just spent 2 days in LA, 4 in Kiev, 3 in Slovenia, and 3 in London." Parker huffed
"Look guys this mans company is going to be bought up in 1 week and we can't just let this guy go"
"You know I'm not really in the state to grift for this job so your might have to call Tara" Sophie gestured to the cuts up and down her arms and face and then started stroking one of the many shoes scattered around her.
"Yeah man as bad as I feel for these people we are way to beat up to just start another job"
"But guys-"
"Have someone else do it!" They all protested
"No dinner for you" Nate pointed at Sophie who then looked hurt and angry
"No chocolate for you" He pointed to Parker who just shrieked in outrage
"No World Of Warcraft for you" He pointed to Hardison who started to go after him but was held back by Eliot
"And no...um fun stuff for you" He pointed to Eliot who looked rather relaxed
"No dinner?" Sophie spat before getting up so she was at his height. "You deserve it"
Nate just rolled his eyes and before he could even blink something hit him in the head. It was a bar of chocolate. Parker just stood there, twitching with anger. "Dammit Parker" Nate rubbed his head and she threw another one at him. "Parker!" She grabbed Eliots book from his hands and started hitting Nate with it. Hardison just huffed and sat down with his computer. Sophie thought for a second and then went upstairs. She came back down to see Parker still beating up Nate. He was rather hopeless and held up meek arms to shield himself.
"Can someone help me?" Nate cried
"No!" The four of them yelled
"Nobody likes you" Sophie spat
Eliot turned to Sophie with an accusing look. "What were you doing upstairs?"
"Nothing"
"Uh-huh" Eliot just went back to watching Parker and Nate. Parker had already given Nate a sufficient amount of bruises and cuts but continued to beat him with book anyway.
Sophie finally pulled Parker away. "May I please hit him now?"
"Huh? Oh sure go ahead" Parker offered the book but Sophie just shook her head.
Sophie bent down and grabbed a sturdy wedge off the ground. She thwacked Nate upside the head with it and he stumbled causing his head to hit the conference table. Then he slumped down to the floor unconscious. Sophie gave a small smirk and threw the shoe back in the pile.
"Sophie!" The three 'kids' yelled
"He took away my dinner!" Sophie defended
"Well you're cleanin' up all this blood" Hardison gestured to Nates blood
"Ughh fine" Sophie huffed
"Can I have my book back Parker?"
"No I wanna see what you were reading"
"Give it back Parker" Eliot demanded and lunged at the thief
"Come and get it!" Parker started running around, Eliot chasing after her
Sophie got a washcloth and started clean Nates blood up. She noticed Hardison was just casually on his computer. "What are you doing?"
"Let's just say it will make everything better for the 4 of us"
"You have blackmail against Nate?" Sophie almost yelled
"Wait-what" The hitter and thief stopped.
"Show me!" Parker yelled and bounded over to the hacker
"Hey! I wanna see too" Eliot said as he made his way over to hacker also
"He's my boyfriend! Let me see first" Sophie pushed the other two out of the way
"You two finally figured that out"
"Not the point Hardison. Just show us"
Suddenly the screen went black.
"Can someone get some water" Nate mumbled
"I'll get it" Parker jumped out of her seat and went to grab some water. Nate sat up slowly and gratefully took the glass Parker offered him.
"I love you guys!" Nate suddenly yelled
"Parker..." Sophie just stared at the blonde. "What did you do?"
"I may have given him a little bit of happy stuff"
"Come on guys give me a hug!" Nate said, cutting off protests from the others
Parker grinned and gave Nate a hug. "I've never hugged him before!"
"Hey drugged up Nate, how you feelin'"
"Just dandy! But can someone help me up off the ground?"
"Here Nate come on" Sophie grabbed his hand and tried to help him up
"You smell good" Nate smiled
"Um thanks"
"And you need to cut your hair" He pointed to Eliot
"Hey I like my hair" Eliot protested
"He's drugged up, it doesn't mean anything" Parker waved him off
"Hey you two need to hook up soon!" Nate yelled at Parker and Hardison
"Nate come on dear let's get you up to bed" Sophie nudged him
"No! I don't wanna go to bed!" Nate whined
"Come on it'll be better for all of us" Sophie's voice was stern
"You're not my mom!" Nate yelled before licking her face and stomping off
Sophie just turned to look at them with a semi-shocked and confused face. "He just licked me"
They then looked over to see Nate chugging orange soda.
"Hey man! That's my orange soda!" Hardison yelled rushing over to Nate
"Parker how much did you drug him up?" Eliot hissed
"It should wear off in a day or so" Parker mumbled
"Or so?" Eliot gave her a furious look
"It may wear off in two days" Parker shrugged
"He'll burn down this in two days in this state!"
"I'm a sexy monkey!" Nate started screaming as he jumped on the table
The four just exchanged a look before bursting out laughing. Hardison already had his phone out so he could film the once in a lifetime opportunity. Nate started dancing...like Michael Jackson. He expertly moon walked across the table but fell off the back off the table, crushing Sophie and Parker.
They both coughed from the pressure and Nate rolled over onto Sophie.
"Heyyy" Nate smiled
"Hey" Sophie breathed
"Did you hear about the gossip between the three kids?"
"No, what?"
"I heard that Eliot likes Tara" Nate snickered
"Hey! Some one keep him under control" Eliot demanded
"Aww is little Eli embarrassed?" Nate grinned
"That's it man I'm tapin' his mouth shut" Eliot stomped over to grab a roll of duct tape.
"Glitter for everyone!" Nate had somehow managed to get off of Sophie, grab a bag of glitter from god knows where, and make it behind Eliot in a matter of seconds. He threw it over his head and then threw some over the other three.
"Dammit Nate!" Eliot growled as he combed the glitter out with his hands
"Parker do you have any chocolate?"
"Umm yeah gimme a second" Parker rushed off into the closet by the TV's.
"Hey Hardison do you have some gummy frogs?" Nate shouted from the couch
"Nu-uh man you already drank my last orange soda!"
"LOSER!" Nate yelled before turning on the TV's
Hardison looked at Eliot who was snickering behind his hand. "You see that? He just called me a loser"
"Here Nate!" Parker threw him a duffle bag
"Thanks Parker" Nate furiously opened the duffle bag and ripped a candy bar open and shoved it in his mouth. Then he brought up YouTube and typed in something. "DUBSTEP MY LITTLE PONY FOR EVERYONE!" Nate started playing this crazy techno in a foreign language. Sophie, Hardison, and Eliot clamped their hands over their ears. Parker and Nate jumped on the coffee table and started dancing while they shoved chocolate in their mouths.
"Oh my god" Sophie just stared at the scene with wide eyes
"This is..."
"Insane" Hardison finished
"What do you think he'll do next?" Sophie whispered
"I have no idea"
"Break it down!" Parker yelled as the song got faster and crazier
Nate did a back flip off the coffee table and landed on his feet. Then he started break dancing.
"Somebody stop him!" Sophie yelled
"Hell no! This is blackmail gold" Hardison was laughing
"But man this is seriously scarring" Eliot just looked at him wide eyed
Dubstep pony finally came to an end and Nate was lying on the floor panting.
"Somebody help me up" Nate coughed
"Nathan, Nathan tsk tsk" Sophie clicked her tongue but went to go help him. "You know better then that"
"Mmm love you Soph"
Sophie stared at him in shock. Of course the first time e ever said he loved her was when he was drugged up on happy stuff. Suddenly Nate looked like he was about to cry.
"You don't love me?" Nate cried
"No, no, Nate I do love you! Very much so" Sophie pulled him into her arms and started petting his hair.
"But you hesitated!"
"I was shocked Nate. You've never told me that you loved me before"
"Well I do Soph" Nate murmured
"All better now?" Sophie asked hoping just maybe the drug had worn off
"Much better!" Nate grinned and shoved another chocolate bar in his mouth and walked over to Hardison and Eliot. Parker followed behind him and grabbed a chocolate bar of her own.
"Do we have any frosting?" Nate asked
"No" Eliot just looked at him. Nate didn't believe him and went to raid the pantry. After about 10 minutes of everything getting thrown out of the pantry Nate finally found a thing of chocolate frosting.
"You lied! We do have frosting!" Nate frowned at him
"Sorry I didn't know!"
Nate just slammed it on the counter and stomped over to Eliot. He bit down hard on his arm and didn't move.
"Dammit! Stop biting me" Eliot tried to push his head away
"Nate stop biting Eliot" Sophie pulled him away
Nate just pouted and grabbed Sophie's hand. He stuck her finger down his throat but he didn't gag. Sophie screamed slightly and pulled her hand away.
"What was that for?" Sophie screamed
"Hi!" Nate just grinned.
"Oh my god" Sophie just sighed and walked away
Nate turned to Eliot, who wasn't really paying attention. So he walked over to him and started petting his hair. "Sweet home Alabama!"
Eliot jerked away. "What are you doing?"
"Petting your hair" Nate gave Eliot a sideways hug and continued petting his hair
"No! You don't just do that to people!" Eliot pushed him away
Nate just licked his hair and ran out the door.
The four exchanged a look and then rushed out after him. They lost him.
"What are we gonna do now?" Hardison exclaimed
"Here I'll go down to the bar, Parker you go on the roof, Eliot stay on this floor, and Hardison go on the floor below."
"Okay and if you find him bring him back to the apartment and keep him UNDER CONTROL" Eliot stressed on the last part
With that they all dispersed to their different places.
-30 minutes later-
The four of them met back in the second floor hallway, nobody had seen Nate.
"Okay this is bad guys" Eliot pinched the bridge of his nose
"I feel really bad so blame it on me if you want" Parker mumbled
"No, Parker it's okay sweetie" Sophie put a motherly arm around her
"Let's just go back inside" Parker sighed. They all walked into 2A and the place had been completely and utterly trashed. Nate had dumped pink paint over most of the floor and walls. Streamers of every color hung from just about every surface. Glitter was everywhere. And there was cute fluffy stuffed animals scattered about. Nate lay passed out in the middle of the apartment, a chocolate bar in one hand, a bottle of whiskey in the other.
"What happened in here?" Eliot murmured
A/N: There will be another chapter!