Author: Calex
Disclaimer: Me owns nada. All belongs to Ms. JK Rowling. Well….so okay. I do own a few characters. Everyone you don't know, really.
Rating: R
Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix
Summary: A girl was forced to repress her very nature. When something happens to show that she could no longer do that, she is sent back to the very place she was ripped away from to find out who she really is.
Dedications: My merry band, Nicki (Lunatic Ladybug) and Jas, Caz (Silveretta). Everyone who's reading. But especially to Nicki, Jas and Caz, who've all been so supportive of my stuff. Hope this knocks the socks off ya! And damn if that didn't kinda sound like an academy award speech.
Author's Note: I felt restless today while in bed and decided to put it to some use. At least it is, kinda. So on to the fic, I have great plans, for this one.
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~Some people say you can't love two people at the same time…I tell them: you're wrong~
~On my way for the day I find no sorrow
Everyday is all the same, there's no tomorrow
I feel like I feel
Cause it's cold here where you left me~
Fuel- Million Miles
Chapter 1
The figure was lying in the comforting warmth of the bed, the soothing sound of breathing from the form next to her lulling her to a pleasant state of relaxed drowsiness. A contented smile curved her lips and she let a breath expel forth in a happy sigh. She was going back. Finally, after all these bleedin' years she was going back to the place that she so rightly belonged. She would see her friends again. Oh yes, she was finally going to see them. A small frown wrinkled her forehead, though. This was going to be difficult. She felt so bad for neglecting them. She knew she couldn't have done anything about it, but she felt a throbbing sense of guilt when it came to the way she had just left her friends in the cold like that.
With another sigh, this time an irritable one, she pushed herself away from the bed. Well, tried to, anyway. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and hauled her back to the warm, hard contours of his body. He pulled her flush against him, the hardness of him against her softness. He buried his face at the crook of her neck and breathed in her scent. Wild Rose and musk, this girl. Something that should be masculine, but on her fit so perfectly well. A small gasp escaped her throat at his actions, then a moan as a hand slowly stroked her bare thigh.
"Rafe, stop," she said, breathlessly.
"Where're you going off, to?" he asked, ignoring her. He was still stroking her thigh, sometimes going higher to toy with the waistband of her tiny shorts. He'd linger there, the sweep down to the flat planes of her stomach, lightly tracing patterns on her skin that made her shiver and moan.
"To…to write to m…my friends," she managed to gasp out. Good Lord, his hands felt good on her skin. She arched herself into his body as his hands continued their almost absent minded attentions to her body. He nuzzled his face to her neck, carefully placed a kiss there and she gasped.
"Which friends?"
"F…from an old school. Rafe, please. Stop. Anna's still in the next room Matthew. I…She's suspicious enough as it is. She'd kick you out if you…oh God."
Rafael had begun to nibble lightly on her neck. It was always her sensitive spot and he derived much pleasure in torturing her. She writhed, turning her head automatically to give him better access. His hand had now slipped upwards, under her top and over her ribs.
"God has nothing to do with it," he whispered wickedly in her ear, then ran his tongue over the length of the delicate shell. She made a small sound in her throat that he just found incredibly erotic. And he hadn't even touched her properly, yet!
"Rafe, no. We…we can't," she sounded so breathless. "I…Dammit, Rafe!" she turned her body, grabbed his hair in her fists and smashed her mouth to his in a rough, mindless, passionate kiss. No permission needed, tongues warred for dominance, tasting, taking, pleasuring. Little moans escaped her throat, telling him of her enjoyment in this. Rafe stilled his hands, anchoring them to her hips and she to his head. their bodies ground against each others, though, as they kissed. Finally, she tore herself away, panting hard. It was an arrangement they had. Rafael wanted her. He made her want him. It was insane, stupid and unethical since he was her roommate and her sister trusted her and he paid her, so it was almost like whoring. She wouldn't let him touch her intimately. He persisted in wanting to touch her. so they reached a compromise. A kiss was okay. A kiss initiated by her. ended by either, it would be it for the day. Then the touches had to be platonic. Well, as close to platonic as two people with a high level of sexual tension could be, anyway.
"Why don't you just give up?" he murmured against her cheek. "We could be good, together."
She laughed shortly. "I bet you say it to all of the girls."
Rafael looked serious. "You know that I never say what I don't mean."
She sighed, began to get out of bed, again. His hand on her arm stopped her, though. She stood there, moonlight streaming through the half covered windows, silvering threads of moonlight caressing her dark hair, tumbling in tousled, chaotic almost curls to nearly her waist. Her eyes hooded with lust and some hidden emotion, her lips red and kiss swollen. She wore nothing but a tiny pair of running shorts in black, that showed off masses of athletic, tanned leg and a spaghetti strapped white top.
"Siobhan…"
"Shh…" she leaned down and broke her own rule, captured his mouth once more in a kiss, this time less impatient and more gentle, savouring. The pulled away. And her eyes were darker and more hooded then ever. "I'll come back. This…thing. Whatever it is, between us…I can't let it go further beyond this. I've told you before, Rafe, and I'm sure I'll tell you again. I just can't."
Rafael was quiet for so long that she was afraid he wouldn't answer. Then he nodded, almost imperceptibly. So she leaned down and laid another chaste kiss on his lips again. "I will be back."
"I'm counting on it," he whispered to her back. She paused at the doorway, giving him a view of the smooth expense of her unmarked back. She turned and took in the picture he made on the queen sized bed. The dark duvet was askew and crumpled and the solitary figure almost seemed to dominate the fair sized bed. She looked at him almost dispassionately as the moonlight bathed his olive skin in an ethereal glow. She ruthlessly pushed aside whatever feelings she had when she saw the soft caress of moonlight on his broad shoulders, well defined chest and flat stomach. His lower body was covered with the duvet, but she knew that he had on a pair of boxers. For her. he used to sleep naked. That thought sent an image unbidden in her mind, of which she was incredibly thankful for the darkness. She took one last look of the hard angles of his face, the sweep of his tousled black hair over his brow and his exercise defined body, then turned on her heel and left.
She got into the safety of the library and sat down by the desk, sighing. He got to her a little bit more everyday. He was just too charming for his own good. Maybe it was a good thing that she was going back. She sighed and rubbed her neck where it was still throbbing from his kisses. A very good thing. So…now what? She looked around her. What should she do? other than have a very cold shower, which she really didn't feel like, what could she do? ah, yes. Write to her friends. That might be useful. But what to say, though? She took out a piece of paper and a fountain pen out of the drawer and poised the tip of the pen above the paper. What to write? She hesitated for a while, then pressed pen to paper and began to write.
Dearest Ginseng,
Heya! I expect that you would never in a million years guess that you'd hear from me again, right? It must be a shock for you, getting that greeting again, after so long. Or maybe you have even forgotten. I'm ever so sorry, Gins. I'd never expected… Perhaps I need to introduce myself again. Even though I've never forgotten your and Oolong's friendship towards me, maybe that is not exactly returned.
My name is Siobhan Maxwell. Muggle born, I used to go to Hogwarts and was in your year. I was sorted into Gryffindor and I became one of your best friends, along with Luna Lovegood. I don't know how things are in the future. Well, after the occurrence with Voldemort, the 'rents pulled me out of Hogwarts, where they thought it would be safer for me to just live my life as a muggle. Yes, you read right. I've been living the past nearly five years neglecting my true roots.
I was sent to a muggle boarding school in England where I've been the whole time. I've been living in Oxford with my sister and my…friend. Roommate. Almost lover. Confidant. I don't know what to call him, exactly. Please don't be shocked. I don't know why I'm dropping this on you right now. Perhaps it's because I've just had another "episode" with him again and he's still on my mind and my skin is still buzzing from his touch. No, we haven't slept with each other, yet. I say yet because I'm not sure of the outcome of this…relationship of ours. He's been an almost perfect gentleman. I am, after all, still…pure. I know you can't see this, but my lip's twisting in distaste. Or maybe it is cynicism at the irony of it all.
Anyway, since I'd suppressed my powers after giving it free reign for a year…let's just say the power didn't like it one bit. I suffered from magickal deprivation and had a kind of breakdown. I nearly killed a student in my class in a moment of extreme emotional release of the not good kind. My parents realised that perhaps the muggle world is not such a good place for me to inhabit, after all. They realised that I had to learn how to control my powers, not to suppress them. After all, the incident with Georgie was just a teaser, I'm sure of it. I told my parents of my feelings and they understood.
Well, I am coming to a point in this. I truly am. Lets just say that this is difficult for me. i… I feel bad for abandoning what I considered a great friendship. We could have gone far, us three. But… thinking back, I think perhaps the time off did me some good. I…I believe that it has shaped me into the person that I've become. Now, I don't know if that's good or not, but I'm not changing it. I feel quite happy with how I am, thank you very much!
Oh, Ginseng, what I'm trying to tell you is… oh hell. I'm going back. Back to Hogwarts. Back to the place I belong. I need to be there, Ginseng. I crave for the magick that hangs in the air. I need it like I need the very air that I breathe. You don't understand how much it means to me to be back. And the best part is… I get to see you again. I know that you might not feel the same, but dammit, Ginseng. I've missed our friendship so much! No one else had been like the two of you. No one could fully understand. We are witches and witches of the highest order, we are. No one could handle that. Well, no one knew enough to be in the position to have to handle that. Oh, Gin. I need it like a hit. I've become like the addict, depraved of her hit, be it cocaine, heroin or nicotine, except mine happens to be magick. At least this is addiction of the good kind. I feel weaker, every time I can't use my powers.
I…I end this letter now, here, with thoughts always of you, Oolong and what we had. I hope that you might write back. And I shall see if I was well received… or ill. I need to go, Rafael will wonder. He doesn't know.
In my thoughts,
Ceylon
P. s. tell Oolong I said hi, and that this letter was as much directed to her as it had you.
She put down the pen, re-reading it critically, then nodded. It was as good as it could be. Straight to the heart and sincere. She could only hope that Ginseng remembered enough…
She slipped the piece of paper into an envelop and sealed it. She named it, and set slipped it into the drawer and locked it. Tomorrow she would send it to the owlery. Tomorrow, hopefully, Ginny would get her letter and she would find out if her friendship was still in place. Tomorrow she would find out if she had a hope in hell of surviving in Hogwarts, because she knew she couldn't do it alone.
The scene was fairly normal. For that household, at least. The kitchen table was filled to the brim with food and people. Conversations were going on loud and fast. Laughter sounded and irritated exclamations. At the two heads of the table, the patriarch and matriarch or the Weasley family smiled lovingly at each other, once, before they both listened intently again to the conversation around them. The table was filled with shocks of red heads and then the odd jet black, bushy brown and messy blonde. For this holiday, Harry and Hermione had come over to stay over, as usual. The twins had Lee Jordan over and Charlie had a friend of his from Romania. And, of course, Ginny had Luna. One musn't forget Ginny, oh no. Ginny is never forgotten, never ignored, nuh uh, she thought bitterly.
Ginny was going through a severe case of teenage rebellion. Her brother was being a first class prick and managing to ignore her at the same time, her brothers were often condescending and over protective towards her plus they all thought she still had that bloody crush on Harry. Not bloody likely, she snorted. The events of her fourth year had shocked them, hadn't it? They'd finally bloody woken up to the fact that, no, she wasn't a child, yes, she was a girl, yes, she had female tendencies that ran towards going out with males etc. They'd been slightly shocked at the fact that she'd gotten over Harry as well, poor sods. Ginny snorted again.
Ah, poor souls. Who would've guessed? The littlest Weasel finally grew up, as Malfoy would say in that drawling tone of voice of his. Malfoy… she sighed. Now that was a sign of true bad taste. She'd gone and bloody fallen for bloody Malfoy instead of bloody Potter. Draco was the antithesis of Harry, blond, where he was dark. DARK where he was light. A Slyth to his Gryff, was too true. It was almost Shakespearic, had a very Romeo and Juliet feel to it. She grinned. Oooohh…bad visual place. Bad visual place that included Draco and Harry filling up the spots as the two star crossed lovers. This time, Ginny's snort was of amusement and it was loud enough to draw attention.
"What's so funny?" Ron demanded.
"Nothing much," she said, eyes dancing. "Just comparing the thought of Slytherin and Gryffindor as being the Montagues and Capulets of Hogwarts."
"I do see it," Hermione said, thoughtfully. "But who's Romeo and Juliet?"
"Well," Ginny shot a sidelong glance at the uninterested Harry. "Perfect Potter and the amazing bouncing Ferret, comes to mind."
Several people in the room choked, Harry the loudest. A piece of chicken he had been chewing on flew out of his mouth and landed on Luna and she made a face while Harry reddened and apologised profusely. The twins, who had been sniggering at what Ginny had said, full out cackled at that. So was Lee, Bill and Charlie. His friend looked confused, not knowing the Gryffindor/Slytherin issues. Or the Potter/Malfoy issues as well. Harry and Percy looked mortified, Ron looked disgusted, Arthur and Molly horrified and Luna just looked her usual dreamy self. Hermione seemed to be hiding a grin. Ginny leaned back in her chair and let out a contented sigh. Yep, this was what she was meant to do. it was her true calling. It really was.
"Ginny!" her mother said, sounding properly scandalised. Ginny merely shrugged.
"Sorry, mum. Just a thought. And Hermione did ask."
"Yes, I did." Hermione said, swiftly. "I do apologise, Mrs. Weasley."
"It's quite alright, dear." Mrs. Weasley smiled softly at the pretty, brainy brunette that she considered to be a daughter.
"Oh! Does that mean I get a reprieve as well?" Ginny asked, hopefully. Molly shot her a look that clearly said, what-do-you-think?, and Ginny slid down her chair, uttering a sigh.
Conversation flowed again, becoming more and more steady and the flush on Harry's cheeks soon faded, but he kept shooting her mortified looks. Ginny merely grinned at him wickedly. It was true that her wicked side had come out to play, recently. She was darker, more sarcastic. She'd gotten into muggle culture, to the delight of her father and the disapproval of her mother. She discovered that she was a horrible perv. She giggled at that. Fancy, Ginny Weasley was a perv. Hell has officially frozen over. She snorted again, but this time everyone studiously ignored it, not wanting a repeat of last time. Well, with their mum glaring down at them, anyway.
They finished eating and cleaning up, and went to the living room for their own enjoyment. The Dream Team sat by themselves, while Bill, the twins and Lee were talking quietly with evil looks on their faces. Percy was sitting in an armchair in the corner, reading a book. Ginny and Luna talking to Charlie and his fellow dragon tamer, Declan McDermott. The room was a study in contented coseyness that the sudden arrival of the hawk made all of them jump a mile in the air. Charlie got up, slowly, and unlatched the window. The magnificent bird flew in, landing on the mantelpiece, glaring out at them. Beautiful black feathers glowed eerily in the firelight, tawny eyes watchful. The room had gone deadly quiet. When it's eyes met Ginny's, however, it let out a cry and flew towards her. she held out a hand without flinching, it's razor sharp talons sinking into the soft skin or her arm and she let out a little hiss of pain. She saw the paper around it's leg and unattached it. The hawk flew back to it's perch and didn't seem to intend to move. She sighed and opened the letter. It grew bigger magically until it was two pieces of regular sized A4 paper. She read the opening line, then her eyes grew huge.
"What is it? Who is it from?" Everyone asked at once. Ginny didn't answer them. She merely looked in shock at Luna.
"It's Ceylon."
Just one statement. That one statement and it slowly brought an awareness to Luna's usually dreamy countenance. She stared at the letter in Ginny's hand and back again. Then she requested, softly.
"Read it out?"
Ginny nodded and began to read out hesitantly. When she was done, shocked silence reigned in the room. Then…
"Who in hell is 'Ceylon'?"
Later that night, the two girls were quiet, lying in Ginny's room. Hermione's even breaths told them that she was asleep. The two girls, however, couldn't. Finally…
"Luna?"
"Yeah?"
"A…Are you thinking about her?"
The creak of the cot as Luna possibly shifted to face Ginny in the darkness.
"Aren't you?"
"It's all so sudden, you know. She just left and she's been gone for years, now she's….she's back."
"I know."
They stayed in uncomfortable silence, again. Then:
"Do you think we should write back? I mean, do you think it would be a good idea?" Luna asked her, hesitantly. She could hear the rustle of bedcovers and smiled as she pictured Ginny shrugging.
"I dunno. I really don't."
A soft sigh filled the room.
"We have to, you know."
"Huh?" Ginny sounded surprised. Luna nodded vigorously.
"Can you imagine what it's like for her? Imagine being forced to hold back on your power, Ginseng. Imagine how that would be. Besides, I doubt muggle posting system really works well with us. And that's all she got to do while she was in school."
"I guess." Ginny sighed. "I just wish…you know."
"Yeah."
Another silence, then:
"We should-"
"For God's sake!" Hermione finally snapped, sitting upright in her cot. "Yes, write to her. It can't hurt! Now I'm trying to get back to sleep. If that's alright with you," she added scathingly. Then she dropped back down to her pillow. They waited till her breath was even again, then Ginny shook her head.
"There's something very wrong with that girl."
"She's got a point, though."
"Yeah. I know." Ginny sighed, then snuggled into her bed, pulling the duvet tight around her. "We'll talk about it, tomorrow. Night."
"Night."
"About bloody time," Ginny could have sworn she heard Hermione's disgruntled mutter. She hid a snicker.
Siobhan started at the tapping on her window. She went to it, flung open the curtains and almost screamed with fright. She collapsed on her bed, gripping her heart. Jesus, Merlin, that had nearly caused her a heart attack!!! She really must be out of touch with the wizarding world. She opened the window with a muttered apology to the small brown owl, who nipped her ear gently. In it's clawed foot was a piece of parchment. Siobhan stared at it for a second, then quickly untied it. Her heart pounding, she read the words printed on in dark purple ink. The grinned. Then she started reading. When she finished, a slow smile spread across her face. Then:
"Anna!!!"
She let the parchment flutter down to the table. The owl cocked it's head to the side, perused the text as if it could actually understand it. On the parchment was scrawled these words:
Dear Ceylon,
Of course we remember you!!!! You little fool. Oolong and I wouldn't, couldn't, forget you. Even if we wanted to. You're too ingrained to get away that easily! But yea, I have to admit that it was quite a surprise.
You went muggle? So that's why your parents pulled you out. No one knew why. No body would tell us. We were worried sick. But we understand. There are certain…complications when living with muggles.
Anyway, about this Rafael fellow? Can't give you any advice, love. Can't say I've had much of an experience. And I'm guessing he's much, much older, knowing you. Oh honey, it seems that there's more than a case of healthy lust going on, here. You have some feelings for this guy, right? And don't worry. I'm not shocked, much. I don't mind being shocked, though. It's a definite change. You see, I've changed, too. Slightly. Only problem is, no one's noticed. I'm still the youngest Weasley, sister of so and so Weasley. It's so bloody unfair!!!!
Anyway, all I can say is that she probably deserved it. She must have done something to trigger you. So it isn't entirely your fault. Poor darling, I don't know how I would be if it had been me in your shoes.
Anyway, we've got a full house, here. The rest of the Dream Team (Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, remember them?) are here with Ron. The DT is a nickname that Draco Malfoy thought of for them. That, and the Golden Trio. Then again, that's actually Blaise's. Blaise Zabini, that is. It's a he. He. Is a he. Yeah. Anyway! Yes, yes, chuckle away. *pouts*. Ummm…Lee Jordan is staying with the twins and Charlie brought a friend of his from Romania. A bloke by the name of Declan McDermott. Very, very, very cute! Although, regrettably, very, very, very much older. And taken. *groans* Life is unfair. You have a supposedly fit older guy drooling all over you and you're pushing him away. But damn.
I will be looking forward to you in Hogwarts. I will wait for you. I have forgiven you. And I end with a confession.
Always in my thoughts,
Ginseng
P. S. Luna is here, so she read the letter. And she was co-writing it with me. Oh, go on. Sign it, you twit. Hey! That hurt!
P. P. S. Heya!!! Ginny's being a git. Wanted to say hello in "person", so to speak. Or write. Or…whatever. Anyway, will be looking for you in school in September!!!!
Oolong
Whew *wipes brow* thank God that's done! I was going cross eyed with tiredness. Must dash, OJ beckons. Well, feedback would be fantastic. Thanks for reading! And reviewing, of course. LOL.