Broken Minds and Lives
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist in any form or shape.
Written by: Lady Monozuki
Description: Seventeen years ago, Roy Mustang suffered at the hand of an assailant. The identity of his attacker from his twelve year old days remains a mystery. Now another attack, similar to the fashion of his, befalls one of coworkers. How will he handle the case? Will he be able to catch the one responsible for the torment? And is there more going on here? Warnings: Torture, angst, and implied rape.
Lady Monozuki: Hello everyone, here's my first FMA fic. Enjoy!
Chapter One: Hidden Secrets
His head throbbed. The scars on his wrists and ankles burned. No one could see them underneath the many layers he wore. However, that didn't make them disappear. In fact, no one knew how he obtained the white lines on his body. Everyone assumed that he gained physical proof of his time served in Ishbal. And he did nothing to squelch the rumors. He didn't like keeping too many secrets from his subordinates, but this one he held no intention of telling any time soon. He knew that this proved to be selfish on his part. He didn't care though.
No one mentioned the scars on his body, part of the reasoning behind that came from the poor cadet who asked about them six years ago. The scorch marks still graced the cafeteria walls, the higher-ups decided not to cover the wrath, and shame of the Flame Alchemist. Not that he killed anyone, no that'd result in his discharge from the military. The truth of the incident is still shrouded by mystery.
The other part came from the fact that his First Lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye, threatened any soul who dared to question the lines with a gun. Between the two of them, no one else thought to bring them up. He supposed that's how the Ishbal rumors started. On a good day, he played along. On a bad day, everyone read the invisible "If you mention anything to me about my deformity, I will send you on your way to Hell" sign on his forehead. Everyone that is, except a small blonde haired alchemist.
A smile tugged at his lips. The vertically challenged alchemist chose to be daft at the most inopportune moments. However, that didn't justify his actions. No, for once Roy Mustang stepped outside of bounds. And hurt one of the brightest and talented members of his hand-selected team, one that couldn't be repaired with a simple apology. He shuddered to think what Edward Elric would to do him when he tried to make amends. The thought made him regret the harsh words spoken earlier all the more.
Of course, he and Edward took part in several fights before. This time though, he damaged an important relationship. Whether the short alchemist realized his station or not, he held the most influence in the military, in essence, he could say one word and most of the personal would bend over backwards to make his orders come true. That fact alone showed how powerful one person could be. Even at his age and stature, Roy couldn't command such power. The Furher even took interest in the young man and tended to grant his every whim. A knock on his door brought him out of his musings.
The door swung open, indicating that someone who didn't care for his empty threats entered. He guessed Riza Hawkeye. She often barged in without waiting for him to mutter "Come in." Silence hung in the cold air. He didn't bother turning around.
"Sir, if you're not going to do your paperwork, then I suggest that you go home," he heard.
He winced at the gentleness in her voice. He deserved to be yelled at, hurt in some form or fashion. After what he did, he couldn't forgive himself. He didn't say anything in response to her suggestion. Going home meant more brooding on what he did to the FullMetal Alchemist.
"Permission to speak freely, sir," he heard.
He contemplated ignoring her request, pretending that he didn't hear her. However, that would be childish. He sighed.
"Permission granted," he mumbled.
"Roy, go after him."
"What?"
"Go after Edward. The longer you wait, the more he's going to mull over your words and the harder it's going to be to apologize to him. I know you're afraid but everything will get worse if you don't try to amend your friendship."
He turned around and blinked. "You heard our conversation?"
"Sir, I don't think anyone on this floor could try and block out the yelling even if they tried."
He grimaced. "Oh god, that doesn't bode well for my reputation."
"You can't blame him for being curious. You seem to know everything about him but he knows nothing about you. He wanted to try and know something. I know that this is hard to believe but Edward Elric respects you and looks up to you. Now, go out there and look for him before you both regret this for the rest of your life."
He chuckled. "Are you threatening me, Hawkeye?"
She drew her gun faster than he finished his sentence. The barrel aimed for his head. She already clicked the safety off. The dark look in her eyes reminded him of their days in Ishbal, cold, calculating, and uncaring. He knew those eyes, the path of a killer.
"I get the message," he muttered.
"Please be careful," she whispered.
He nodded and grabbed his coat. "I will," he whispered. He headed for the door before pausing. "Thank you, Riza."
She smiled. "You're welcome, Roy."
Without another word, he ran past several of his subordinates, those who didn't know him well thought of him as rude. However, the rest knew his intentions and got out of his way, in fear of becoming the next public marshmallow. Rain drummed against the ground. He looked to his right and left, trying to determine which way Edward went. The alchemist tended to spend a lot of time at home when upset. However in more drastic cases, he went to the military library. Roy decided to try there first. The walk didn't take long, but he got soaked on the way there.
He walked through the front door and found one of the librarians. He flashed one of his trademark smiles and asked if Edward came in here. She nodded.
"He's near the Alchemist section, but he requested to be left alone."
Roy nodded but continued anyway. He didn't care whether Edward wanted privacy. This needed to be mended for both of their sakes. Getting his head blown off by Riza didn't appeal to him at the time and he felt confident that the young alchemist would feel the same way if she pointed her gun at his head as well. Arriving in the Alchemist section didn't take long. A table with at least fifty thick bound books rested on a table. A blonde haired person sat there, reading another, engrossed at the contents of the book.
The older alchemist wanted to turn around and leave, but knew better. He walked up to the table and noticed the disgruntled look on Edward's face. A shiver ran down his spine at the sight.
Since when did I become so afraid of a short alchemist?
The thought dissipated sooner than formed. He didn't need to ask stupid questions at the time. He hovered over the slumped figure and cleared his throat. The shorter alchemist glanced away from his book and grunted.
"What the hell do you want?" Edward spat.
"Can we sit down and talk about what happened?" Roy asked.
The other alchemist wrinkled his nose before nodded and closing his book. Roy sat in the empty chair next to Edward. He tried to think of how to word his next sentences. Provoking the blonde wouldn't solve anything.
"Start talking, Colonel," Edward growled, placing emphasis on the last word.
Roy winced at the harsh tone. He deserved the treatment, he realized this. However, that didn't make the situation any better. With a sigh, he decided to say the first words that came into mind.
"Edward, I'm sorry for my behavior."
"There better be more," Ed growled.
The shorter alchemist eyes him, waiting for him to continue.
"There is no excuse for what I did or said. I'm sorry."
Ed waved a lazy hand. "You're not good at apologizing," the blond teen remarked.
Roy sighed. "I know that you're frustrated with me because I keep you in the dark about a lot of things. Both work and personal affairs," he continued. "You need to understand that there are some things that I am not willing to talk about. However, I suppose that you are entitled to more information. I tried to hold you back because I still saw you as a kid. However, you turned sixteen ages ago and are a legal adult. As such, I expect you to attend the weekly meetings between me and my more trusted crew every Monday at six in the morning."
Edward looked livid. However, Roy continued on. "I will also provide you with more information in regards to certain affairs. I also would offer you a position at the office but you're still trying to find out a way to get your brother's body back. I can—."
"Mustang," Edward said, the anger in his voice softer.
"Yes?" Roy asked. He expected to get smacked on the head.
"Thanks," he muttered, not making eye contact. "I could use a desk job right now. Al and I aren't getting anywhere on our research and he decided to spend some time in Risembool. I don't know when he'll be back, but I need something to distract me for the time being."
He swallowed. "You can start tomorrow, report to my office at eight."
"Why the hell do you get up so early?" Edward complained.
"Some of us work, unlike others."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ed snapped.
"Nothing," Roy replied. "Now, is there anything you want to ask me now?"
"No," Edward muttered.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning then."
He stood and straightened his clothes. With a sigh, he pulled on his soaked jacket. The cloth intended to defy his every will. Edward watched his every move. After five minutes, success graced him.
"Mustang," Edward asked as the Colonel looked away.
"Yes, Edward?"
"Can I ask a question?"
"Of course."
"Where did those scars on your wrist come from? I know you tried to kill yourself after the war but I don't think those came from self inflicted wounds. Did something happen to you?"
He flinched and contemplated flying into a rage. "That is something I prefer not to talk about."
"I understand," Edward said.
Roy wanted to tease him about not pressing for more details. However, that would bring more problems than he wanted. With a sigh, he walked away. He walked out of the library and back into the rain. He sighed turned left and tried to think about what to do for the rest of the evening. Drowning himself in scotch and booze sounded like a good idea at the time. However, he didn't want the hangover that followed. He needed to go to work in the morning and wanted to be able to concentrate. But coming close to the scars that he left untouched for so many years exhausted him. His head started to throb again.
"Are you going somewhere, sir?" a familiar voice asked.
He spun around to see Hawkeye in military garb. She held a bag of groceries in her hand from the corner drug store not too far away.
"Riza," he muttered.
"Did you patch things up with Edward?"
"Yes."
"Good, how are you feeling?"
"Better, I suppose," Roy said.
She nodded. "Are you thinking about the past, sir?"
He blinked. "Do you know?"
"Yes sir, you told me one drunken night at the bar. Do you remember?"
He racked his brain. Of course he didn't remember. If he wanted to forget something, drinking solved his problem. He shook his head in resignation.
"I didn't expect you to. Anyway, scars like that don't heal overnight. If you need me, I'm always available."
She started to walk away. He reached out and grabbed her arm. She didn't resist or try to pull away.
"Riza, can I come over to your house for a while?"
"Of course. I need to head over soon, Black Hayate will be wanting his food."
Oh right, she took in that stray.
The two of them walked deeper into the rain. Roy tried to think about what to talk about. Should he mention what Edward asked? Did she know already? He sighed.