A Fantastic Multi Fandom Fic

In a stunning turn of events, it was raining in England. After a long day at work, John Watson was ready to go home and go to bed. However, fate had other plans. As he walked home all he could thing abut was the one person he really loved. He started running faster, excited to finally see him. He ran all the way home in the rain to 221B expecting to jumpt straight into the arms of his beloved, Rory Pond. But alas, Rory had died! Again. John knew he would turn up eventually, but until then, he knew that he would be miserable.

Watson mourned for two years when Rory surprised him by jumping out of a cake on his birthday, expecting John to be happy, but he wasn't, because he had moved onto the one Mr. Holmes. Mycroft was furious that Rory should come back up and try to steal his man. They began to stare each other down and hurl insults, but before a physical altercation could occur, John's mustache leapt from his face. Everyone was surprised! After playing a few badass guitar numbers, John's mustache hurled itself at Rory, attempting to strangle him. However, at least minute, he was saved by Sextus wielding Davus' stick fiercely. Sextus shouted,

"Molestus ego!" and threw himself at Hudders who returned his passionate kiss. Sextus wished he had help from Eucleides, the sex master, to help him bring Hudders to climax.

Rory died anyway.

Just then Noelle came flying in and turned to Sextus and told him to go to who he would be happiest with, his childhood friend, Marcus. Marcus scampered to Sextus, grabbed him by the toga praetexta, and dragged him into the closet. Suddenly, Rory shuddered to life and told all the guests that Grawp would be joining the party shortly.

Grawp then joined the party and brought he sex slaves, Dobby and Umbridge, with him. Everybody hated Umbridge, so they set her on fire. Dobby announced that he wasn't actually a sex slave because he recognizes no master. Everyone then used the fire to roast marshmallows and talk about their feelings.

Then, Dumbledore appeared dressed in only the sorting hat and demanded everyone bow to him. They did and the feelings talk continued. During the talk, John insisted 37 timed that he wasn't gay, despite two of his boyfriend's being present. Plus, he was obviously into Dumbledore. Dumbledore plopped down around the fire and patted his lap, inviting John to join him. John eagerly leapt towards him and Rory and Mycroft were jealous, so they decided to have a foursome with Marcus and Sextus to make John jealous. However, they put aside their differences and participated in the most magical six-some ever. But, someone was missing: John Green.

Meanwhile, Grawp was jealous too so he got their six-some on videotape and sent it to Hagrid, who he knew would want to join the party, too. Then, Hagrid and John arrived together on a jaguar. John brought Hank with him, who was the jaguar's lover.

Suddenly, a shadow fell over them. Everybody looked up, then scattered, screaming, because of what they saw: it was Moriarty in a hot-air-balloon TARDIS. Just then, the silhouette of a trench coated man appeared and said, "The last six-some I was apart of had at least one Time Lord." However, he literally dropped dead at the shock of Moriarty's presence. Captain Jack Harkness never thought he'd ever see his former lover again. But, then he was alive again because that's how he rolls and he flew through the sky to Moriarty, because that's how he rolls. Moriarty noticed that Jack had Martha on a leash, and he got jealous because he's into that bondage stuff.

Meanwhile, Mickey was in the background because no one really cared about him. Mickey begged Moriarty to let him go find Martha, but Moriarty was too focused on Jack. Suddenly, Jackie and Pete Tyler appeared above everyone in a zeppelin. Then, everyone realized that it was past their bedtime, so they went home. Only Moriarty and Captain Jack remained.

"I've missed my criminal," Jack growled. Moriarty just smiled and pulled Jack closer, though he felt conflicted because he knew he still had feelings for another trench-coated man, TenToo.

"Did you miss me?" said Moriarty. "I want you to love me for who I am, not just because I'm a mastermind criminal who is probably the most dangerous man in the world. I also have a soft side." He was worried about he relationships.

"I'd love you even if you were a fluffy bunny pig," exclaimed Jack and he pulled Moriarty into a passionate embrace.

Just then the mom from Mean Girls busted in and asked them of they wanted snacks or condoms. "What the hell is a bunny pig?" asked Moriarty, confused out of his mind. "Oh and no, I'm on birth control." The mom from Mean Girls was shocked that Moriarty did not know what a bunny pig was, so she made them stop and learn about the anatomy and mating patterns of fluffy bunny pigs before they could continue with their naughtiness. Then, Glen Coco burst in and joined the party. "You go Glen Coco," shouted Janine from above as she and Sherl flew by on their dragon, Parry Hotter, off to see the world.

Suddenly, Catherine Tate appeared from below holding a blowtorch and a rather large French horn. "She's such a badass," said Captain Jack. She broke into the Pokémon theme song, blowtorching the TARDIS balloon, which belonged to Moriarty.

"Gotta catch 'em alllllll!" She exclaimed, enjoying the look of terror and confusion on Moriarty's face. Suddenly, the Holmes' parents appeared out of Catherine's blowtorch, completely naked except for the glasses they found behind the couch. They demanded Moriarty have a threesome with them in exchange for their sons' virginity. Little did they know, but bother their sons had already lost it to Moriarty and John, on the same day. But, Moriarty agreed, because he wanted to have a threesome with the Holmes' parents.

tbc...