He was ready to go. His supplies were packed, his weapons were clean and sharpened, the traps around his apartment were set should anyone choose to intrude in his absence. Everything was in order apart from one thing…
He couldn't find his book.
He had about five minutes before the sun sank completely below the horizon and he had to leave. Five minutes to find his book because he couldn't go without it. He was only three chapters from the end, and even if he didn't have time to read it on his mission, Icha Icha brought him luck. He couldn't go without it because the moment he stepped out of Konoha without his porn he would be killed. Dead as a post.
Kakashi was standing in the middle of the room, stock still and surveying the damage with a frantic sort of desperation. He had turned his room upside down in his search, most of his possessions were currently occupying the floor, but there was a conspicuous lack of anything resembling porn.
He was beginning to panic.
With a sigh of defeat he scooped up his ANBU mask from where he had tossed it onto his bed, but before he hid his face behind the porcelain, he kicked the pile of clothes at his feet to the side and dropped to his knees.
His arm guards clacked on the floorboards when he lowered himself onto his elbows. He dipped his head beneath the bed, a single spark of hope withering away in his chest as he prayed to whatever god was listening that the first time he checked under the bed he had simply been suffering from temporary blindness.
No such luck. He scrutinised the dust and the one lone sock that were hidden there for longer than he needed to, before that single spark went out.
He was doomed.
He slammed his fist into the floor in frustration before he hauled himself to his feet. There was nothing for it…
He'd have to break into the book store and steal a copy before he left.
"Lost something?"
Kakashi had a kunai in his hand before the intruder had finished his sentence, but the mess on the floor was against him. As he spun around his foot betrayed him and he ended up sprawled on the bed, the kunai imbedded in the mattress, the ANBU mask skittering across the floor.
He blamed his complete lack of grace on his pitiful lack of porn. He couldn't remember the last time he had been on a mission without it, and those times he had lost it while on a mission he had invariably returned with holes about his person and less blood in him than he had set out with.
The Yondaime simply smiled, mischief twinkling in his eyes.
"Sensei," Kakashi narrowed his eyes and glanced to the door: still locked with the seals intact, and the window was firmly closed, with traps attached to the hinges.
How on earth had the man gotten in? Without Kakashi noticing no less.
The Yondaime bent over and scooped up Kakashi's mask from the floor, his other hand poised behind his back, as though hiding something.
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?" the man asked as he gazed at the mask in his hand.
Kakashi muttered under his breath and rolled himself up and off the bed. His sensei knew exactly where he was meant to be, he had assigned him the mission after all.
"I was about to go," Kakashi grumbled, sliding the kunai back into it's holster, "I was just looking for something."
"Hmm," the Yondaime's eyes flicked up to pin Kakashi to the corner of the room, "you mean this?"
He swept his hand out from behind his back, and Kakashi's eyes widened in relief when he recognised the orange book his sensei was waving temptingly at him.
He was not doomed. Once again the Yondaime had saved his skin. He should have been a little more resentful of that fact, but he couldn't muster up anything other than utter gratefulness.
"Where the hell did you find it?" Kakashi asked, slightly breathless, as he stepped over the anarchy decorating the floor, arms outstretched for his precious book.
The Yondaime's smile turned slightly menacing, and he hid the book behind him once again as he stepped back from those outstretched hands.
"Where did I find it?" he parroted, "well that's an interesting story. You see, I found it in the hands of a certain five year old we both know."
Kakashi paused in his progress across the room, "uh…"
"I don't suppose you have any idea how Naruto managed to get hold of your book, do you?"
Kakashi's arms dropped to his sides. The Yondaime's smile had become just a little frightening. A shiver ran up Kakashi's spine.
"He… uh," Kakashi swallowed, "…must have stolen it."
"From one of the most skilled shinobi in the village?" the man shook his head, still smiling, "I find that hard to believe."
"I took my weapons pouch off when I was sparring with Gai," Kakashi protested, "Naruto was there, I heard him yell at me to smash Gai's face into the dirt, he must have taken it then."
A single blonde eyebrow quirked upwards as the Yondaime pondered Kakashi for a moment longer, before he tossed Kakashi's ANBU mask at him.
"Well, I wouldn't want to keep you," he said smugly, the book still clasped behind his back.
"Um… sensei," Kakashi took a tentative step towards the man, "my book…"
"Nuh-uh," he shook his head, "you're not getting this back until you have explained to Naruto what an orgasm is."
Kakashi stopped dead and blinked at him, cocking his head to the side, "come again?"
"Naruto and Sasuke have been deciphering this drivel all day," the Yondaime replied, punctuating his words with jabs of Icha Icha in Kakashi's direction, "when I got home, the first thing Naruto said to me was: 'daddy, what's an orgasm?' I'm scarred for life."
Kakashi managed to look contrite for all of three seconds, before his face crumbled and an amused snort escaped him.
His sensei's eyes narrowed dangerously, "you think it's funny, huh?"
"W-what did you tell him?" Kakashi managed to squeeze out around his laughter.
"Well…" the Yondaime's smile became slightly sheepish as he scratched the back of his head, "I, uh… I told him that I didn't know."
Kakashi's stifled laughter halted abruptly, plunging them both into silence.
"You…" Kakashi felt himself begin to crease up again with the hilarity, "you told him that you don't know what an orgasm is?"
"Well what was I supposed to say?" the Yondaime cried, holding his arms out in question, "I assumed the sex talk would come about when Naruto asked me where babies come from, I have that whole speech planned out! I never thought to prepare a speech about orgasms!"
That was it for Kakashi. When his shoulders started to shake he gave up trying to contain himself and doubled over, imagining the look on his sensei's face when Naruto came out with that question.
The Yondaime simply crossed his arms over his chest, tapping the spine of Kakashi's book against his bicep as he waited for Kakashi to compose himself.
When Kakashi straightened up, still twitching with mirth, his sensei was watching him with a less than amused expression.
"As much as I love entertaining you," he said wryly, "you're going to be late."
Kakashi shrugged, "I always am, but…" he eyed the book held firmly in his sensei's hand, "I need that book."
When Kakashi took a stop closer, the Yondaime took a step back, "this mission does not require the use of porn," he replied, "I didn't come to return your book, I came to tell you to think up a way of explaining orgasms to a five year old when you get back."
"But it brings me luck," Kakashi pleaded, "I'll tell Naruto all about orgasms when I return, if you give it to me."
At that, the Yondaime's brow furrowed with uncertainty, "actually, maybe that's not such a good…"
Kakashi used his sensei's brief lapse in attention to snatch for the book, only to have it whipped from his grasp just as his fingertips brushed the edge of the cover.
"HA!" the Yondaime grinned and held the book over his head, "not fast enough, I've told you, you can't have it until…"
Kakashi cut him off by lunging for him. He should have been gone five minutes ago, and he had come to realise that his sensei was not about to relinquish his book any time soon. Drastic measures were in order.
The Yondaime danced backwards, moving out of Kakashi's reach, only the mess that was Kakashi's floor struck again, and before Kakashi could steady himself they were both on the ground.
But at least Kakashi had managed to get his hand on his book. It was unfortunate that his sensei was still holding on to it too, and no matter how hard Kakashi tugged, the man wasn't letting go.
"For the Hokage, you're pretty clumsy sensei," Kakashi grinned down at the man he had fallen upon and yanked at his book.
"Oi!" the Yondaime pouted and tightened his grip, "you fell into me!"
"Sensei!" Kakashi was only mildly horrified to hear the whine in his tone, "you don't seem to understand the seriousness of the situation! Icha Icha brings me luck! I'll be slaughtered without it!"
"You can't have it until you've talked to Naruto," the Yondaime rolled his eyes and sighed, "I should just burn the damn thing."
"And I should just show you what an orgasm is so that you can explain them to Naruto," Kakashi replied.
He didn't actually realise what he had let fall from his lips until the Yondaime released his hold on the book.
He grinned in triumph before he noticed the expression on his sensei's face. There was shock written all over his features, his eyes had gone wide and there was definitely more colour in his cheeks than there had been a moment ago. It was then that Kakashi noticed how he was sprawled across the man, and his insides gave a definitive little quiver.
"Um…" Kakashi swallowed past the lump that had appeared in his throat. The lump might have been his heart, because it sure didn't feel as though the organ was still in his chest.
"You, uh… heh," the Yondaime's lips quirked into a half smile, but he looked more uncomfortable than anything, "you should get going."
Kakashi nodded and scrambled off the man, suddenly a little uncomfortable himself, but more than a little warm.
"Right," he cleared his throat, "I'll just…" he turned away and fixed his ANBU mask over his face, tucking his book safely into his pouch and swiping up his pack.
"Come back safe," his sensei said softly.
Kakashi nodded, "okay," and fled before he could say anything more to embarrass himself.
oO0Oo
He managed to get back to Konoha without any holes and all of his blood still within his veins, but he owed this fact purely to Icha Icha. The book had to be a lucky charm, because Kakashi had been so preoccupied it was a wonder he managed to put one foot in front of the other.
Damn that man for telling Naruto that he didn't know what an orgasm was. Damn Naruto for asking him in the first place, and DAMN Icha Icha for turning Kakashi into a pervert. He had always had a slight crush, it would be difficult not to, the man was too attractive for his own good. But crushes are easily ignored, and Kakashi had managed to force himself into a state of denial so powerful not even the head of Torture and Interrogation would be able to get the truth out of him. But a slight crush is entirely different from spending an entire mission imagining what sort of sounds your teacher would make when he came.
He would probably be loud.
Kakashi smacked himself in the face and focused on breathing properly. Fantasies were all well and good, but he had to see the man every day and there is only so much a pair of standard issue pants can conceal.
Besides, the Yondaime had looked so uncomfortable with Kakashi sprawled on top of him after he had opened his big mouth, that Kakashi simply wanted to crawl into a hole and hide until the man was too old and senile to remember.
So why he had decided to be punctual for a change and head straight to the Hokage's office was beyond Kakashi's comprehension. But despite the adventures his imagination had taken to having, Kakashi just wanted to see his sensei.
And maybe this time Kakashi would finally be able to sneak up on him.
"Welcome back."
"Damnit!" Kakashi pouted and stepped out of the shadows, pushing his ANBU mask up to sit askew on his head, "how did you know I was there?"
The Yondaime looked up from the scrolls on his desk and smiled, "I'm the Hokage."
Kakashi folded his arms across his chest, "how come you always manage to sneak up on me?"
The man's smile got bigger, "I'm the Hokage."
Kakashi sighed and wandered across the room towards the Hokage's desk, "the mission was a success by the way."
"Never doubted it for a moment," the Yondaime replied as he sat back in his seat, loosely knitting his fingers together across his stomach, "so… have you worked out what you're going to tell Naruto?"
Kakashi halted just beyond the edge of the desk and frowned, "you were serious about that?"
"If you're going to carry porn around where children can get their hands on it," the man smirked, "then you need to accept the consequences."
"I see," Kakashi smirked, "and it has nothing to do with the fact that you don't know what an orgasm is."
The Yondaime's face went perfectly blank.
Hoshit! What the hell was he doing? He was his own worst enemy, if he carried on he'd never be able to look the man in the eye again.
"Of course I know what a…" the Yondaime took a deep breath and leant forwards onto the desk, trying very hard to look serious, but betrayed by the slight twitch at the corner of his lips.
Kakashi couldn't take his eyes away from the smile that was trying to erupt on his sensei's face.
"You know," the Yondaime said innocently, "I recall you saying something about remedying that fact."
Kakashi blinked a few times in rapid succession before the meaning of those words rammed into him. He had never been so grateful for the constant presence of his mask, the dark material was hiding a blush that would probably light up the entire village.
"I… uh…"
The smile that the Yondaime had been fighting declared victory, his face cracked into a grin, "you should see your face!"
He was teasing him.
The bastard.
Kakashi cleared his throat, "how would you prefer me to remedy it, sensei?"
Slowly, the grin faded to be replaced with something more like surprise. It was the Yondaime's turn to blush, an echo of the man's expression back in Kakashi's apartment when they had been sprawled on the floor, only in the clear light from the lamps in the Hokage's office, the flush to his cheeks was far more endearing.
"You… ah, I don't…"
Kakashi was biting his lip in an attempt to keep quiet, but his amusement must have been shining in his eye, because after a moment his teacher's eyes narrowed.
"Brat," he muttered, "you'd have been sorry if I'd called your bluff."
"No I wouldn't," Kakashi admitted softly before he could stop himself. He felt himself freeze up when his sensei's eyebrows tried to disappear into his hairline. The teasing had been manoeuvred into something entirely different and Kakashi didn't know how to call the light atmosphere back.
By the way his sensei was looking at him, he could probably tell that Kakashi hadn't been bluffing.
"So," the Yondaime breathed, "if I, um… if I stood up, and walked around this desk, and er… asked you to make good on that promise, you'd…"
Kakashi didn't trust his voice, so he nodded, unable to look away from the blue eyes piercing into him.
For the longest time neither of them moved, Kakashi's insides were squirming, he wanted nothing more than to proclaim it all a joke and take off running, but his feet seemed to have fused to the floor, and there was something in the Yondaime's expression that prevented him from speaking at all.
Just when Kakashi thought the tension would crush him, the Yondaime stood up, in one swift, sudden movement that made Kakashi stagger backwards.
The man didn't move from where he stood behind the desk, he simply watched Kakashi, as though waiting for something.
Kakashi didn't move any further back, nor did he look away. For a brilliant, terrifying moment, he thought the man would stride around the desk and bring his imagination to life. He wasn't sure if he wanted him to or not, he wasn't sure if he was more excited or more frightened, but he found himself silently urging the man to move, to call his bluff, to do something rather than stand there and look at him like that.
After an eternity, after waiting for the Hokage to make up his mind about what he wanted to do, Kakashi felt those tiny droplets of fear pool together, until he couldn't take it any more. He had never been afraid of the man before, but he was so completely terrified standing before him, he almost felt naked. He had never felt quite so vulnerable before, and despite the tiny blossom of hope he had been clinging to, he caved.
He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to laugh it all off and give his report so he could leave, but he paused at the last second.
He had a flash of recognition as he stared at his teacher's expression. It wasn't discomfort that he could see there. It was thinly veiled longing.
The revelation left him paralysed, forced into stillness but for the wild hammering of his heart. His own longing was hidden behind a mask, but it was mirrored perfectly in his sensei's face.
The idea that, while Kakashi had been imagining his teacher flushed and sweating and moaning while on his mission, the man had been imagining the same things about him, sat there behind his desk, sent a wave of heat billowing through Kakashi, vibrating in his bones.
He forced himself to move rather than wait any longer. Kakashi moved around to the other side of the desk, until he was standing right in front of his sensei. But the final step was one step too far, and Kakashi's bout of courage gave out before he was close enough to touch the man.
But the Yondaime seemed to have been stirred into action. His face was still a mask of uncertainty as he took a slow, deliberate step towards Kakashi. He lifted his arm, and Kakashi's breath hitched in his chest when the Yondaime's fingertips ghosted over his cheek.
He felt a shudder working it's way through him when the man's fingers dipped under the material of his mask and pulled downwards.
The Yondaime's eyes were rooted to the movement of the mask, to the skin that was revealed as he lowered his hand, until Kakashi's mask was pooled beneath his chin and his sensei's eyes were fixed upon his lips.
He saw the man swallow, and he felt himself shrivel up inside, because he knew what was about to happen, but he didn't know how to stop it.
The Yondaime stepped back and shook his head.
"Heh," he chuckled weakly, but he wasn't smiling, "alright, you win. Remind me never to play poker with you."
He wasn't going to do it. It surprised Kakashi how disappointed he was, he had never really expected anything from the man, it was ridiculous to even contemplate that his fantasies might become a reality. But the disappointment was a hard weight in his chest, and some of it must have shown on his now unmasked face, because the Yondaime was still looking at him, and there was a flicker of concern in the man's eyes before he looked away. As thought the sight of Kakashi would burn him.
Kakashi wanted to disappear. He wanted to race out of the door and hide, but he knew that if he simply left then his relationship with his teacher would be irreparably changed, even if he couldn't entirely name those changes. He had to fix this before he left, he had to put things back to the way they were or he'd never be able to talk to the man again.
"Sensei," he breathed out, startled by the way his voice shook, but when it came to saying more he couldn't find any words apart from "please."
He wasn't sure what he was pleading for. To take back the last few minutes maybe, or the last few days. Or for his sensei to take back that step and touch him again.
The Yondaime looked back up at him with that softly uttered word, a small puff of air leaving his lips, halfway between a gasp and a sigh.
Kakashi made the decision, there and then, to take the step himself. He closed the distance between them, ignored the ache in his chest, and kissed him.
It was a split second before the Yondaime kissed him back.
All of the tension that had braided itself though Kakashi came loose, leaving him weak and unsteady, but his teacher's hands were suddenly on his shoulders, pulling him closer rather than pushing him away, and the warm pressure they provided had Kakashi melting into the man, whimpering into his mouth.
Kakashi was slightly dazed when the Yondaime pulled away, he had come undone with the movement of the man's lips against his own.
"You weren't bluffing," the Yondaime whispered, the words were soft breaths against Kakashi's lips.
"No," he whispered back.
And suddenly the Yondaime was kissing him again, harder than before, with more need behind the press of his lips. Kakashi's head was swimming, he was lost, and if it weren't for the solid press of his teacher's body against his own he was sure that he would float away.
He barely felt the edge of the desk digging into the back of his thighs, or being tipped over until his back was creasing the scrolls beneath him. All he felt was the weight of the man above him and the way his tongue swept into his mouth, coaxing out sounds Kakashi had never heard himself make before.
When the man's lips left his, he tried to centre himself again, tried to get back in control of the situation because he was quickly being swept away and he didn't want all of this to end before he had the chance to revel in it all. He took note of the hard wood of the desk digging into his spine, and his sensei's hands, one on his hip, the other swiftly sweeping the ANBU mask from his head and tossing it… somewhere. The Yondaime's face was flushed, his lips were swollen from the pressure of that last kiss, and it was all so close to what Kakashi had been fantasising about that he felt the need to say something, anything, just to make sure this was really happening.
"Sensei…"
"Huh," the man was breathing heavily, almost as heavily as Kakashi himself, "I don't really think you should call me that right now."
Kakashi quirked an eyebrow and managed a small smirk, "Hokage-sama?"
The man raised a single, sardonic eyebrow, dipped his hands behind Kakashi's knees and slid him to the edge of the desk, until Kakashi had the Yondaime between his legs and leaning over him.
"Don't call me that either," the man breathed, "call me Minato." He licked a clear line across Kakashi's jaw and ground his hips downwards.
"Oh god!" Kakashi groaned, the pressure in his groin was starting to burn him away from the inside, the sudden friction, and the knowledge that the man looming over him was just as hard as he was sent him reeling.
"Heh," the Yondaime propped himself up, just enough to look at Kakashi's flushed face out of the corner of his eye, "or you can call me that if you want."
Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the man, and slid his hand down over the Yondaime's back, then swept it between their bodies and cupped the man's erection in his hand.
"…fuck!" the Yondaime buried his face in Kakashi's shoulder as he went rigid, and Kakashi couldn't help but smirk in smug delight at the expletive that had burst out of the man's mouth.
He squeezed when he felt the Yondaime grind down into his hand, creating sparks of friction between them. Kakashi bucked upwards, involuntarily, but the pressure was wonderful and the tongue that was sliding over his neck was sending tiny shockwaves through his nerves, straight down to his groin.
"Kakashi," his name sounded strangled when his teacher uttered it into the curve of his neck, and he jerked in surprise when the Yondaime suddenly pushed himself up, holding himself over Kakashi with his hands splayed on the desk at Kakashi's sides. His arms were supporting him, but Kakashi could see them shaking.
He was looking down into Kakashi's face with an expression far to serious for Kakashi's liking.
"You know, this is…" the man grimaced, "is this really what you want?"
Kakashi blinked and glanced down the line of their bodies, and was presented with evidence that it was most certainly what they both wanted. But he could understand the man's hesitation, there was still a slight tremor of fear surviving inside Kakashi.
But damnit, he had been fantasising about this for days! He didn't want things to go back to the way they were because now he had caught a glimpse of the way things could be, and he preferred the possibilities over the status quo.
Kakashi looked back up into his teacher's face and grinned, "yes Minato."
The man's eyes went so wide Kakashi thought they might fall out, so he leant upwards, propped up on his elbow and slanted their lips back together. He combed his finger's through the man's hair and fell back onto the desk, not releasing the man for an instant.
The Yondaime seemed to have gotten the idea, because he dragged his hands down Kakashi's sides, pulling a shudder out of him, and undid the clasps of his chest armour.
Kakashi helped the man manoeuvre him out of the armour, releasing his lips with only a small amount of protest, and as the Yondaime turned to drop it at the side of the desk Kakashi licked his lips and snaked his hands downwards towards the clasp of his teacher's pants. There wasn't enough skin, Kakashi was so hard it was a wonder he hadn't exploded from the pressure building up inside him; he wanted more friction, more flesh.
When Kakashi tried to slide the material over his teacher's hips, he found himself firmly pressed into the desk again, with large, warm hands gripping the waistband of his pants and dragging them over the curve of his ass.
Kakashi felt the man's tongue delve back into his mouth and he groaned and arched upwards. His nerves felt raw, but it was so good he was almost delirious.
The Yondaime locked their hips together and Kakashi yelped helplessly into the man's mouth. His own naked flesh was being rubbed against the naked flesh of his teacher, he could feel the man's erection pressing down into his own and the mere thought made him light-headed and so hot he was surprised the scrolls beneath him hadn't caught fire.
When his teacher pulled away from the kiss, Kakashi didn't know if his eyes were open or closed, because he couldn't see anything. Then there were fingers sliding over him and he almost came just from the realisation that the Yondaime was touching him there.
He had to look. He had to burn the image into his eyelids so that he could see it whenever he closed his eyes. He strained his neck, glanced between their bodies and groaned at the sight of the man holding both of their erections, sliding his hand up and down, back and forth, over and over again until there was liquid fire lapping at his skin and lightning trapped within his body.
When he threw his head back he caught a glimpse of his teacher looking into his face before the world snapped. Kakashi's entire being caved inwards and then was scattered out, torn apart and pieced back together again, and as he opened his mouth to cry out his teacher's lips were back upon his, capturing the sound.
He was shaking, and he had a brief moment of lucidity when the Yondaime groaned and shuddered and released himself all over Kakashi's stomach.
Actually, he wasn't as loud as Kakashi thought he would be.
Kakashi only realised his eyes had been closed when he blinked, and saw two blue eyes staring down at him.
Kakashi licked his lips and smirked, "and that, sensei," he said, slightly hoarse, "was an orgasm."
His teacher grinned, "you're still explaining it to Naruto."
Kakashi gave a half-hearted shrug, "I'll just tell him that I don't know what one is either."
The man's grin became hungry, "then I suppose I'll just have to remind you."
Kakashi smirked. He had been hoping that that would be the case.