Author note: This is the first fic I ever wrote. Please be kind! It´s a little OOC... but remember, they had just woke up in the middle of the night! The mind doesn´t work well in those conditions... or at least mine... Hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: If I own it, I would be writting the sequel, that part when "They live happy, forever!", not only a plain fanfiction...
Contrarieties of life
I sat up, in a hurry. My heart was pounding as galloping horses, so fast, I almost believed that he would run away. I looked around. Although surrounded by shadows, none of them was threatening. The dojo was quiet. No sound could be heard.
A nightmare. It had only been a nightmare. A simple nightmare as the ones that plagued me for ten long years. But not anymore… at least, not usually. Not since I get a home. Home… a simple word but that means so much… It's true what they say. When we have a home, the simple fact of having somewhere, something to return to, give safety to life. That's the reason why the nightmares don't plague me so frequently anymore…
However, after all that happened in this last time, is only normal to nightmares come back. After the Jinchuu that Enishi planned… but everything is all right now. Kaoru is back home, safe, without even a scratch.
Yet, I get up and grabbed my sakabatou. It might not be anything, but I knew I wouldn't be able to rest a thing if I didn't assure that everything was safe.
I verified every single gate of the dojo, then I back home and resumed my search in the inside. Everything seemed right.
I went until the last door, her door. I could feel tranquility and serenity evading from it. She was all right. Nothing has happened.
Although I tried, I wasn't able to hold myself and opened the fusuma. The faint sound didn't wake her. She looked like an angel, her pretty features accented by the moonlight. The odd feelings that accompliced me since I awoke, disappeared by her sight.
I couldn't help but sit by her side. I can't say that I missed her, during the time Enishi kidnapped her. That's because it was as my own life had ended as well… but now she was there. The slow rise and fall of her breast were like a sweet lullaby.
She was so beautiful sleeping like that, that made me wondered why I'm keeping denying all my feelings for her…
I know I'm unworthy… if my life had been a little bit different…
Who am I trying to wrong? Would I be more worthy of her if my life conditions had been different? If I had born in any other place? Let me see…
Georgia, E.U.A. June 20 of 1851, 10pm: I've just born in one of the wealthiest state of the "new world", as America is called. My childhood is spent in the middle of the abundance and my education makes me depend on slaves to the daily routine. Nevertheless, liberalists' ideas run across the country but in here. Rumors of a revolution have been heard, and it's not long until it burst out. I'm only ten years when this happen… this horrible massacre put father against son, brother fighting brother! So many blood… so many dead… and I, with my youth, I can't help them… I see the most dearest to me departing. Some of the ones who remain ended up insane. So many lost… around me is only destruction. The men who remain are only children or old. The nationalistic ideals which with I was born, compel me to fight for my nation. But I'm unprepared, I'm to spoiled to last long in the battlefield. I dye, without even know the true sense of life…
Luanda, Africa June 20 of 1851, 10pm: I've just born in the middle of the misery and famine. I grow up in a cottage, feed only with bread and water. The subnutrition doesn't help me to completely developed myself both physically and psychologically. I wouldn't be fond in wield a sword… mainly because I wouldn't had the chance to learn how to do it… probably I'd never see one. Likewise, I would never learn to write or read. I would be forced to work in granite's mines, to be able to gain the bread that daily fed me. At the twelve years old, I would have my first sexual relation with a whore from Zaire that let me prostrated with a dead virus. Without any help, I'd survive three more years, and I would end up dying with only sixteen…
Oporto, Portugal June 20 of 1851, 10pm: By the side of the river Douro, I've just born, in a small and modest house. Twenty years had pass since the civil war and the invasions leaded by Napoleon had occurred, and both deprived the country. There is a crescent crises in all the sectors. The wide Portuguese Empire is being devastated and the confidence within the Kingdom is disappearing everywhere. When I'm old enough I travel across the country, looking for a better life. I befriend with the Masonic that conspire against the Queen. One day we are betrayed. Most of us dye… others go to the prison… few are the ones that have freedom enough to act. Someday for sure…
Sicily, Italy June 20 of 1851, 10pm: I've born in this country surrounded by water. Italy is passing a bad period, fighting for it's unification that the Pope in Rome doesn't let happen. With nine years old I join Giuseppe Garibaldi army whose ideals are alike mines. He had already fight and freed Italy once, with the help of his diseased wife, Anita, who fight by his side for thirteen years. Now was my turn. We fight against Napoleonic invasions and finally in 1870, we reunited Italy, by killing the Pope Pius IX. But yet, I would have felt myself empty inside. Because you wasn't there… because I'd never had the time to seek you.
London, United Kingdom June 20 of 1851, 10pm: In the center of Chelsea I was bring to life by the hands of an expert midwife. This time, life didn't make any trick. I was raised in a wealthy house, I frequented the best British Colleges. Luke is by my side, helping me to succeed. I dedicate my life to investigation and I made important discoveries, so I would be forever remembered. One day, I would be received in the Palace and the Queen would give me the title of Sir. Once more, I would have felt myself alone even when I'm in the middle of a crowd, exhausted from the search and empty without you…
This time I reborn. Not in the center of the world. In the end of my continent. Pushed and almost drowned in the sea. I had the lucky to have excellent parents, although they soon were stolen from me. I had an admirable shishou, that never let me down. Even if I was shoved to the middle of the whirlpool of Kyoto violence, I knew Tomoe and I helped to bring some peace to this tormented country. In spite of all the adversities that life put in my way, I survived.
Deep inside, the truth is that I've born in the place I always wanted to, and that I never admitted. Maybe I will never be recognized, I will never be remembered, my name won't figure in the History books. I won't be remembered as a legend, not even as a hero. But one thing I'm sure, I will be able to leave my life at peace, although famine is not the most dangerous threat I've been across…
I fight for what I believe. We may live or dye by a dream. I choose freedom and for this dream I gave years of my live. Maybe my work was unrecorded, well, I was a shadowed assassin… but yet, my deed is marked in the history of this country, in the smile of the ordinary people.
For this dream I gave everything: my sweat, my work, my soul, my heart… almost my entire life.
But then…
…I met you
You gave me back the will to live, I've so long lost. Now I live. I live trying to built a strong personality, with deep steel foundations, able to resist to the huge contrarieties that life proportionate. Once more I'm able to enchant myself with the little things that life gave us. I conquer the bigger ones with hard work and passion. I gain happiness with anything.
And I've fall in love with you!
You become a huge piece of me. A fraction that I would never erase, that belongs to my identity and is part of me.
I've been trying to deny this, but I was wrong. The irony is that, on truth, I already accepted you long ago. When I don't know, but probably when you challenged me in the streets… well, the first time I laid my eyes upon you…
"Kenshin? Did something happened?"
I was so distracted that I even didn't notice that you had awaken. You were sitting now on the futon, looking to me with your deep blue eyes. They were wide because of the darkness and I felt myself drowning in them. By them, I could read your soul and now I could figure out that you were both confused and surprised to see me there. Well, of course you would be, what excuse could I give to be at this hour in your room? Then I also see worry in your eyes. My sweet and dear Kaoru, always worried about the others…
"You had a nightmare…" you said. How could you read me so easily, my beloved? You put your hand above mine, as trying to comfort me. I could only smile at your gesture.
"It was that, wasn't it? I'm alright, now I'm safe here in home were you can always protect me. So don't worry, I don't want you to worry!" your gaze fall to our joined hands and your voice softened "Why do you have to be always so concern? Of course I'm alright! But you aren't! You should be resting, you know? You work so hard here in house and you're still in convalescing. If you don't sleep at night you'll get sick someday for sure…"
"Now who is being concern?" I win a smile on your face with this. Oh, how I love to see your smile… "I'm sorry for be in here Kaoru-dono. But you were so peaceful sleeping that I just sit for a while…" Now I made you blush…
"Oh, Kenshin…"
There were so many things in my head now, so many feelings dwelling in my heart…
"I was thinking how would be my life without know you." You open your mouth a little, you weren't waiting for this kind of answer "And how I'm thankful of having met you…"
You lowered your head, but even in the dark I saw the tear that you were trying to hide but escape to run across your cheek. With my hand I held up your chin, turning you to be able to look in your eyes. With my thumb I wiped that tear away. Our eyes locked in each other gaze.
I wasn't quite sure how you would react to my feelings, but they were like a bomb in my chest, and if I keep them, maybe I would explode. But then you asked me:
"Do you never thought why did we met?"
Now was my turn to be surprised by that question. You giggled by my reaction.
"Do you think was some sort of destiny? That God put you in my way so we could help each other? So you could put some sense in my life?"
At this, you put your hand over your mouth, like you've talked too much… you also did that when you invited me to stay…
"I don't know… I don't know… But I don't think so. God would put someone better in your way to help you."
My thoughts about unworthiness were plaguing me again. I could never tell you my feeling. You deserved so much better…
"Why do you say so…" You looked angry. Then your voice softened "…in that way?"
"Kaoru-dono, in my past, sessha was nothing more than a hitokiri, a slasher. And know, I'm no one. I'm just a rurouni that had the luck to found a home, although I don't deserve it."
With this, I prepare myself to leave. When I was going to open the fusuma you said in a outburst;
"You may think you are nothing on this world, but you are forgetting that you may be someone else's world!"
I turn around and look at you. I was without words. You're gaze was so intense… our gaze locked for an indeterminate time. It was as we were reading each other's soul, evaluating us. Then you broke up crying. In less that a second, I was by your side, comforting you, cuddling you in my arms. While you cried I barely heard you mumbling:
"Aishitteiru!" those words surprised me and at the same time, it lifted a height from my heart.
"I love you too!" I answered. You stayed still for a second, you didn't mean to say those words aloud, I think. "I really meant it, Kaoru" I added. Your gaze flew to my eyes for a second, then you broke up crying again, but this time relieved tears, and you search for comfort in my lap. I rocked you, until your cry subsided.
"While you were sleeping I was thinking how it could have been if I had born in somewhere else. And I understood that in any other place my life could be better, or could have been worse, in the measure that I wouldn't become the Battousai. But yet, I'm happy to live were I live, to be born where I did, and you know why? Because I met you…"
I was feeling like a kind of barrier had been destroyed. For the first time in a long time, I had been able to assume my feelings, to be true to myself. And somehow, I found a part of me so long lost…
Your shimmering eyes were looking so intense to mine so I couldn't resist but to capture your rosy lips with mines and give you a sweet and lingering kiss, a merely brush of our lips. When we broke it, your breath was elaborated, your face flushed. Then, you brought you hand to your lips, like you wanted to feel the kiss. Just then you open your eyes again. There was pure happiness I saw in them now.
"Kaoru… about the question you made before, I don't think it was fate that put as together, nor a Divine hand. Nobody wished it to be like this. Nobody but I. I stayed because I wanted to know you. In any other point of the Universe where I would had been born, you would be by my side, because in the end I would always ended up for find you… because there is no destiny. Because you weren't pre-made for me. You weren't designated for me. I wanted you. You wanted me as well. Both of us wanted. Wanted to found each other, to kiss each other, to fight for each other. And it's this will that come from you, this will to be happy, this sure of want that makes me live, makes me dream. You make me live Kaoru. And I love you, not only for that, but for everything that you are, everything that you give me and everything that I am when I am with you!"
You put your arms around my neck and buried your face in my hair. I did the same with mine, while my hands went to your back, pressing you against me. It was so good to hold you… so good to feel your body close against mine…
"Kaoru…"
"I like it better when you call me like that…"
"Hum?" I ask, releasing you from our tight embrace so I cold look to your face.
"Without the honorific" You blushed.
I laugh at that. I've never had thinking that the honorific could annoy you.
I capture your lips to another sweet kiss. I could become an addicted to your kisses even after prove only one…
I slowly coach your mouth to open, deepening the kiss, while you're hands once more found my neck and mines, your back.
After a moment I pulled back. You were so beautiful, with your flushed face and rosy lips and you're eyes closed.
With my hand, I carefully stroke you're face. You open your eyes and your smiling gaze came upon mine.
"Kaoru, you are my home!"
-The End (for now)
Author note: Thanks for reading. English is not my language, I barely spoke it, so sorry for any mistake.... I know it isn't good, and the characters are OOC, but I needed and wanted to write something. Thanks for reading anyway!