Ruling happiness
How evil was evil? How good was good? In the endless span of things why did it matter so much? We are born to die on an earth filled with suffering. The winners are those who enjoy there time on earth the losers are those who do things to benefit others. She had studied this principle upon which she built other principles. They were facts to live and thrive by.
She could have wandered endlessly, wrought with her own feelings as she was. She was evil, the prime candidate. She was happiest when she had earned the admiration of others for her gift. She had long ago thrown away those feeling of contempt for her powers. When she thought about them as a curse she was unable to control them fully. She needed to be the best, hear people say that they want to be like her. She would rule with an iron fist. Her knowledge would know no bounds; her would power reach far and wide.
Only then would she be content.
Her happiness existed in a room with her seated upon the throne. Throes of people marched past, all of them in chains. Some cried as if attempting to flood the room in tears, others begged for mercy. She flicked her wrist and they were escorted away from the area and to the execution door. A tearful pitiful couple was brought up next. Their brown eyes were weepy and they were thrown to the ground at her feet. The shrieked and screamed for lenience, begged and cried and fought the chains that bound them.
She recognized them from a time long, long ago. Her pink eyes sharpened and she rose to her feet. She silenced the guards who wanted her to remain seated. She trod lightly to face the couple with a sneer on her face.
"I always hoped that I would be the one to end you." The couple clung to each other and shook. The man tried to use his wavering voice to speak up.
"W-What did we ever do to you!"
"Do you not remember my face? I am to child you once cast aside. I was too different. I couldn't be who you wanted me to become. I hold the power now! I'm no longer the weakling you abandoned. I'm glad I was cast out. Otherwise, I would never have seen you tremble before me, scared for your resentful lives." She sat at their feet and turned to walk away from them.
"We're sorry! Please spare us! We never should have abandoned you!" They shouted as she continued to walk away in indifference. She turned only when she had reached her throne.
"Once upon a time… I would have done anything to hear those words. Now you finally do regret it… And I just couldn't care less!" She laughed a quick, humourless laugh and sent them to their doom with a single nod to the guards.
She was bored. Maybe she should have had them tortured in front of her. Just for some entertainment.
She was not happy. Probably never could be. Something was stopping her and clutching like a heavy rock in her chest. It was pressing down on her. Was this her conscience? It was never appeared to care before when she sent them to the slaughterhouse. She was evil. Born and bred as evil, she would continue in the endless cycle.
"Bring forth the next prisoner!" She vaguely wondered why she used medieval speak but dismissed the thought. A bulky man came through the stone doors and threw teenager onto the ground. She knew that flash of red hair and that red and yellow suit.
"Kid flash," She stated simply, careful not to let any emotion seep. He gave her the goofiest grin ever.
"It looks like life's been treating you fine." Jinx nodded casually.
"I've been dealt a winning hand, too bad for you. Game over." She sent a glare to one of the guards on standby. The guard got off his ass and strolled over to take kid Flash away. She smiled in satisfaction as the guard began to drag Kid flash away.
"But, you aren't happy." She froze. She was happy, this was everything she had ever wanted and needed in her life.
"What do you know? I am perfectly happy."
"The people you sent away… Were your parents… Right?" he paused before saying, "I was outside the door. I'm a decent eavesdropper."
"They are no parents to me. If this is your way of begging for your life-" Kid flash shook his head even as he was being dragged to the exit.
"I was just wondering how you felt about it." Jinx's eyes narrowed at his comment.
"I don't feel anything for anyone." She scoffed at the thought. Evil never thought about feelings.
"Doesn't your heart hurt to know, that they never had a chance to love you?"
Her heart felt like it was being squeezed and her breath caught in her throat. They had made their choice. They chose to abandon her and they deserved nothing! She deserved everything!
"I deserve everything!" She yelled. Kid flash gave that teasing smile again.
"Everything?"
"Everything!" She flushed as her temper flared.
"Even parents?" There was just no answer for that one and he was met with stony silence.
"I don't need them." She winced inwardly as she said so. It was what she had always wanted. A normal life and a loving home where she would feel safe and wanted.
"But you want them." She did, with all her blackened heart. Some nights as a child were spent weeping for the home she had lost and the pain of being vulnerable and afraid. She had had nothing; her cries fell of deaf ears. It was as if her words meant nothing. Her life was not her own.
"What do you know?" He shrugged at her question.
"Everything and nothing." She gristled and began to yell wildly.
"Don't toy with me! Who cares if I want parents! Who cares if I want a home! Who cares if I want a family! Who cares if-" She stopped herself from saying the words in her heart.
'Who cares if I want to be loved?'
Kid flash stretched out a hand. A hand that looked… Very much like freedom… His mouth twisted into a coy grin. In a flash he had the guards tied up behind him and he had begun to walk towards her. Jinx edged backward.
"I care." Jinx smiled sadly. There was mistrust in her eyes, a must for any villain. But, there was also a spark of hope that a younger Jinx still depended.
"I've heard that too many times for it to be taken seriously." He repeated himself again.
"I care." Hurt clouded her vision as she recalled the first and last time she had the innocence of not knowing that others could not be trusted. That you were to rely on no one but yourself.
"I don't care about you!" Her arms reached up to block her face as he came closer.
"I care," His arms circled her tiny body in a hug.
"And…" He paused and pressed his lips to her cheek.
"I love you."
The room and the sounds faded from existence. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she felt the warm embrace of her enemy. There was nothing left in her to love. Everything she knew was being torn down by one guy. She tried to push him away so many times and he kept coming back. Why?
"Why me?" He nuzzled her shoulder in an affectionate manner; reminding her somewhat of a puppy. His red hair was spiked in that unkempt style and his blue eyes eluded something so mysterious… And so valuable…
"You are beautiful and fun to be around. When I'm with you my life has meaning. I can't explain it…" He leaned back with his eyes on her and his arms holding her close.
"I just love you Jinx…" He wiped the remaining tears off her face.
"Please… Say you love me too…" he whispered as he trod on shaky ground. She hesitated. There had never been love in her life before. She had heard stories about giving your heart to another and letting it be crushed. The feeling would be painful… More painful than anything else in the world… Would she be willing to share herself with another? Give other people a chance to make use of her?
Choose to have a weakness?
"I think… I love you too…" His brightened immediately and begun to smile. She hushed him with one quick movement.
"But I'm not right for you. You're better off with someone else." She started to walk away. This was the truth. This was undeniable. She was trash and he was a treasure. She was not worth his feelings. Her pride would never allow her to say how she felt. She was not pretty or kind or intelligent. There was nothing about her to love. She would hate herself if she corrupted him.
"You are the one I want. I don't want anybody else." He said it with such conviction she had no idea how long she could hold out.
"I'm using you. You're so gullible it was easy to make you fall for me." She saw an odd glint in his eye and smiled to herself. She was finally getting through; he would be safe and stay far away from her. She lifted her head even as she pushed him away, mimicking false haughtiness that she didn't feel.
"Tell me the truth Jinx."
"This is the truth. I hate you! I never liked you. You are too easily swayed by a pretty face." He lifted a hand to stroke her face gently. His hand has been to fast for her to block and his caress made her feel like a delicate china doll. She had flinched upon contact and cursed herself inwardly for showing weakness at an inappropriate time.
"It is a very pretty face…" She griped his hand like a vice and whispered low and deadly.
"Get out of my life. I never want to see you again."
"Trust me Jinx. Just take my hand…" The whole world collapsed around her and her heart beat faster.
'I don't have a choice. I can't choose! I mustn't!' her thoughts screamed as her sane thought flooded her head.
"I can't," She choked out. "How can you trust me! I was willing to hurt you!"
"But you didn't, you couldn't. You're much too gentle." She protested violently.
"You hide your weaknesses to well Jinx… So well that people may hurt you without meaning to. So well that you seem indestructible! But the truth is Jinx no one is perfect and you don't have to be. I love you! I love everything about you!" he cradled her in his arms. She gazed up at him.
"But I don't love you."
Then she walked far, far away and woke up sweating from her dream. The walls around her were that of the H.I.V.E five. Her unicorn sketches were stashed beneath her trunk.
There in the confines of her room she cried without bounds for her dream self and the love she could not accept.
'Deep inside this armor; The warrior is a child.'