ooOoOoo
A blood curling scream let the Commander of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith, sit up straight in his bed, clutching the knife he kept hidden beneath his pillow. The countless ventures beyond the Walls had made him wary up to a point where whispers could jerk him awake, alarmed.
Erwin grabbed the knife tighter and jumped out of bed, hasting towards the door, as a second scream shook the headquarters.
Levi.
The Commander wrenched the wooden door open and sprinted across the hallway on his bare feet, jaw clenched. He was well aware that the could be only one reason for his Lance Corporal to scream in such a horrendous manner: pain. During the time he and Levi had served together, Erwin had never heard him utter more than curses when suffering from inferior or major wounds. Witnessing these screams of pain and despair turned Erwin' stomach cold; someone was hurting Levi. With these thoughts rushing through his mind Erwin came to a skittering halt before Levi's quarters. He wrenched the door open, ready to fight who- or whatever charged him but apart from Levi's curled up, trembling form on the floor next to the bed the room was empty.
In an instant, Erwin was kneeling over his Corporal, placing a hand on his upper arm to roll him on his back gently. Behind him Petra, Mike and Aururo appeared in the doorway, alarmed by Levi's screams.
"Heichou!", Petra exclaimed upon seeing the prone body on the floor and intended to rush to his side but halted when Erwin put a hand up to stop her.
"Call the doctor", the Commander ordered while his eyes gazed over Levi's body searching for obvious wounds and frowned at the lack of injuries.
"No." A voice so weak, it was almost inaudible.
For the first time Erwin looked Levi in the eye and blinked, surprised. The sudden realisation was like a punch in the gut. The worn-out expression, the single tear in the right eye, the sweat pouring down his brow, the clenched fists and the tremors rocking Levi's body made him realise that there was only one person in this world who could torture his Corporal up to a point to make him cry out in agony.
"Out. Leave us. We won't need a doctor", Erwin commanded and watched his soldiers first shoot each other quizzical and concerned looks before reluctantly filing out of Levi's chambers, closing the door behind them.
Levi rolled on his side again and curled up into a trembling ball once more and Erwin who was wary of the likelihood of the Corporal lashing out, hesitated only a moment before carefully scooping Levi up in his arms and carrying him to the bed, gently laying him down. Levi didn't even react. With a sad smile around the corners of his mouth Erwin took the spartan covers and wrapped them around the shaking body before sitting down at the edge of the bed. He stretched out his hand towards Levi but hesitated. The man was not too keen on the soft and cuddly tour and Erwin cared about being left in one piece. Overcoming his doubts however, he ran his fingers through the dark mane over and over again, waiting for the trembling to stop or Levi to irately lash out.
"Levi?"
No answer.
"You have to stop this. It's not healthy."
"I cannot control my dreams. Can you, Commander?"
Erwin sighed. "Of course not. But you have to stop blaming yourself for their deaths. Every soldier knows that it can happen every day. That is why they joined the Scouting Legion: to fight for humanity, even if the prize was their lives."
"I give myself cold and tough. As if I didn't care-"
"I know you care. You may not openly show it but there is nothing more important to you than your squad. Petra told me you grabbed a dying soldier's bloody hand and held it. People who don't know about your cleaning issue would think it normal or only natural behaviour. Giving the fact that you despise filth of any kind, it only shows that you would do anything for your squad."
Levi didn't answer for a long time and Erwin believed him asleep, so he got up and went to leave.
"What am I living for, Erwin?" When the blond turned around, Levi had sat up in his bed, the bare torso covered in goosebumps and old scars. Since Levi never talked about his feelings, Erwin knew it was important that he listened to what the Corporal had to say. "I don't think I can do this much longer. Fighting for humanity, alright but humanity can't win. Not with humanity itself being the biggest obstacle in our mission to achieve peace.
"Sad words to be uttered from 'Humanity's Strongest'."
A mirthless laugh echoed through the chamber. "That is what they call me? And look at me now, a wreck on the brink of a break down."
Erwin sat down on the bed again. "They didn't give you this name for no reason. Naturally, what they mean is that out there in the field you are the unbeatable hero, fighting for their safety. But think of it: You indeed are Humanity's Strongest when you are the one risking your life for the same people who left you to die in the gutter."
"So, is that what I am living for? Having my ass torn apart for some rich jerks?" Levi snorted.
When the Commander remained silent, Levi raised an eyebrow at him as if he were to say 'see?' because that basically was their mission: to protect the rich in their palasts. It did not matter that they claimed, the Survey Corps fought for all people. It was the rich they had to report back to but it was the common folk's sons and daughters that gave their lives. How unfair the world was
"Hmpf." Levi turned to lay down.
Erwin never knew what came over him when he grabbed Levi's hair and his upper arm in order to pull him closer, before leaning in and pressing his lips against his Corporal's. A surprised yelp escaped Levi's throat and he struggled against the kiss but Erwin kept him pressed close. Had Levi truly wanted to break the kiss, he would have shaken the Commander off like an annoying insect. Like this, he simply punched Erwin in the face once he was free again. The blond could tell by how he was not missing any teeth that Levi was not really angry.
"You basterd", Levi growled.
"The first thing you ever spoke to me if I remember correctly." Erwin rubbed his aching jaw and smiled at the thought of his Corporal having enjoyed the unsuspected kiss after all. "You have been alone with your thoughts for far too long. It is high time you enjoyed the company of someone."
"And you think you fit the description?", Levi asked bemused but did not object when Erwin lay down on the bed next to him and enveloped him in a warm embrace.
"If you let me … yes."
The shadow of a smile played around Levi's mouth as he allowed his body to relax in Erwin's hold and closed his eyes.
