Shrek stepped out of his hut, farted, and took a deep breath. "What a wonderful day at my swam..."
Donkey came running up. "SHREK SHREK SHREK! They're taking the swamp again!"
Fiona ran out. "What?"
"Apparently your swamp is full of the perfect raw materials for sex toys!" A chainsaw blared in background. Fiona grew slightly horny as she cried.
"I'm going to take a shit, and then we'll settle this once and for all," said Shrek as he headed towards the outhouse. "Like ogres, this swamp has layers! They're not going to get past the first one."
The UPS driver pulled up to Anastasia's house.
"Here's your package, ma'am."
Anastasia loled internally because it was a dildo, so it kind of was a package in more than one way. Before the UPS guy left, Anastasia ripped the package open with her teeth. She tried to look sexy for the UPS man, but she really just looked like Daggett from 2 Angry Beavers. Earl, the UPS driver, looked very concerned as Anastasia pulled a 3 feet long, 1 foot around dildo out of the discrete Amazon box.
"How do you-?" he started.
"Like this," Anastasia started to lift her right leg up, and queefed. Before she was able to remove her panties, Earl screamed and left.
Author's Note: I'm really excited about writing this! I haven't written a multi-chapter fanfiction in a long time. Make sure you review this, so I know how invested you are in the story!