'Jealous was a horrid, horrid thing.' James mused as he watched Remus and Sirius laughing together on Sirius' bed while they did their homework. James wasn't jealous of Remus, for Merlin's sake… he didn't want Sirius… not like that… not as a lover. James nearly shuddered at the thought. But no… James was jealous of Sirius. Not because he was in a relationship with Remus, heavens no, but because James too wanted someone to dote on. He was jealous of the way that Sirius brought Remus cheap little gifts and held the door open for him and insisted on carrying his books, even when Remus was perfectly able to carry them himself. James wanted to be able to do that with someone too. He wanted to do that Lily… but no. that wasn't going to happen. James wasn't ever going to be able to do that. He wouldn't be able to dote on her, or shower her with cheap gifs, or carry books for her, or open door for her… Because she didn't love him.