So if you didn't know, today is Barbershop Music Appreciation Day. If you don't know what that is, read this, my version of a Red vs Blue PSA. It is in script form, a little different from my other story so there aren't really any details... It's a script. I do not own Red vs Blue, that is Rooster Teeth's. As much as I want to be a part owner, i am not so, what can you do but write FanFiction on it.
ENJOY!


PSA:

Music Appreciation Day

Donut: Hi I'm Donut from that one web series that's kinda popular.

Tucker: Since when the hell do we open?

Donut: And that's Private Sassy pants over there, or better known as Private Tucker.

Tucker: Hey, I am not sassy! If anything you're the sassy one Pinky.

Donut: It's lightish red!

Simmons (Off Screen): I knew we shouldn't have let those two do it.

Church (Off Screen): Hey! Assholes, hurry up! You're wasting time.

Donut: But Tucker keeps making fun of me.

Simmons (Off Screen): Donut, I don't really care what Tucker does to you as long as you get the script done. We have to do this.

(Pause)

Tucker: Bow Chicka Bow Wow!

Donut: That's it! I can't work like this! (Storms off screen)

Tucker: Donut, wait! I was only joking. (Chases Donut off screen)

(Scene switches to Church and Simmons)

Church: Well shit. What do we do now?

Simmons: Plan B?

(Church Shrugs)

(Church and Simmons walk off screen and Sarge and Grif are seen being pushed on screen)

Grif: Hey, get off me! (Looks at Sarge) Uh, guys. I don't know if I should be doing this with Sarge.

Simmons (Off Screen): Just shut up and do it! You two are the only pair we have left to do this thing.

Grif: What about you and Church?

Church (Off Screen): Because we're busy setting up for the next scene, jack ass.

Grif: What the hell do we need a 20s record player for?

Church (Off Screen): Sarge, can we get a little help here?

(Sarge raises shotgun at Grif's face)

Sarge: Can it meat sack. This is a very important PSA where we get to communicate the importance of music appreciation day.

Grif: Is that what this is for? To talk about how much we love music?

Sarge: Love is a very strong word private. Let's just stick with the term appreciate.

Grif: So I guess since today is July 13th, that makes today national music appreciation day.

Sarge: Thank you Private Obvious. I'd call you captain but then I'd be lying. Today is the day when people sit around in drum circles and sing old folk tunes from their native Indian tribes before they were shuffled out of their territory so many years ago.

(Everyone stares at Sarge, Simmons enters into view)

Simmons: What the hell are you guys talking about? This has nothing to do with what we talked about earlier; it's not about Indians or drum circles. Grif you didn't get it right either. It's barbershop music appreciation day. Barbershop appreciation day is a day to relax and enjoy the sweet voices of the Sweet Adelines.

Sarge: Who in Sam hell are the Sweet Adelines.

Simmons: A Barbershop Quartet. It's in the name of the holiday. Barbershop appreciation day!

Grif: No need to blow a gasket.

Simmons: That's not even funny Grif. Do you know what would happen to me if one of my gaskets broke?

Grif: That's what makes it funny; because it can actually happen now.

Simmons: Grif! You're getting off task.

Grif: Oh, right!

(Simmons rushes off screen)

Grif: So during this music appreciation day, let's all take a moment to appreciate the music brought to us by the good ol' fashion barbershop quartet.

Sarge: I remember when I was in a quartet. It wasn't a barbershop style but a couple of the uppers and I put together our own sergeant quartet.

Grif: You were in a quartet?

Sarge: Yes sir, we even included Sergeant Johnson in the production. He was our baritone voice.

Grif: Then what were you Sarge?

Sarge: Me? Why I was the lead. The lead needs to sing accurately and with a strong, authoritative sound. That's why I was chosen.

(Proceeds to sing very off key)

Sarge: Seventy-six trombones led the big parade with a hundred and ten cornets close at hand. They were followed by rows and rows of-

Church (Interrupting Sarge's singing): Ugh, Sarge please! You can stop singing; we're all set for the next part of our skit.

(Camera is set on Sarge, Grif, Simmons, and Church with a record player in the back)

Grif: Seriously, what's with the player? That thing looks older than my grandmother.

Church: Shut up man. The sooner you closer your mouth, the sooner we can start. Simmons, would you kindly start the contraption?

(Simmons places a record on the player and a sample of a professional barbershop quartet begins to play.)

Church: See, this is what a real barbershop sounds like.

Grif (under his breath): At least someone's able to show Sarge up.

Simmons: Grif, I think anyone would be able to beat Sarge at singing, even Donut.

Sarge: Why I can sing better than those moustache, suit wearing monkeys.

(Tucker and Donut reappear as Sarge starts singing)

Tucker: What the hell are you guys doing?

Donut: Oh sweet! Are you guys singing barbershop? I want to join.

(Donut runs up next to Sarge and begins singing just as terribly alongside him. Everyone else claps their hands over their ears to block out the sounds with pained expressions.)

Simmons: Remember everyone; appreciate those who can actually sing well.

(Donut attempts to hit a high note and Simmons along with the others flinch backwards)

Simmons: Or else the less talented ones will sing in their place.

Grif: You had to challenge Sarge using Donut didn't you?


There you guys go. I hope you learned a little bit about music appreciation and barbershop quartets. Then again, maybe not getting it from these guys. *Shudders* I would not want to hear Donut and Sarge sing quartet. BLECK!

Any way, hope you guys enjoyed, leave a review, comment on it, favorite it, follow it (though I highly doubt more will be added to it)