What the hell?

A/N: I got this idea as I went through all the story titles, and I saw some with slash, and I began to wonder: how would the FF8 gang react to all this? This is my point of view. Yet another piece of my insanity. ME GO BACK TO SCREAMING AT SQUIRRELS AFTER!

Chapter 1: Look at this site!

The FF8 gang was watching Monty Pithon in their lounge. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That guy got hit on the head with a coconut!" Irvine squealed. "Yeah, we know. We're not blind." said Seifer (I do NOT know why I added him in...). "And this is what we get when we try to watch a good movie..." said Squall. Meanwhile, Zell was on his laptop, looking at pictures of hotdogs (or porn, you're pick), when suddenly, a pop-up comes up. "Ugh! A pop-up. Hey... click here to see FF8 slash stories... what's slash?" he wondered out-loud. He clicked on the ad, and he got to a page filled with stories. "Slash? Uh-oh, this doesn't look good... anything on me?" asked Quistis eagerly. Everyone abandoned the TV and crowded the laptop. "Uhh... there is. But why does it say 'Seiftis'?" Zell asked. "Shut up and clicked on it!" cried Seifer, and he grabbed the mouse and clicked on the link. They all then saw a story. "Oooh! I hope it's a fairy tale!" said Selphie eagerly. But they were both distraught and disgusted to read the following:

'A night of drinking':

Quistis and Seifer were both drunk. They were at the Timber pub.

Seifer: Hey! More Silkis!

"This isn't looking good." said Rinoa worriedly. "Good? It's horrible! I DO NOT drink!" cried Quistis. "Come on! I wanna hear more!" said Irvine. He then read the rest:

Seifer chugged down the Silkis.

Seifer: I'm gonna go to the alley.

Quistis: Don't leave me, little mouse!

They went to the alley, and suddenly, Seifer grabbed Quistis and kissed her.

There was a moment of silence, then everyone (except Seifer and Quistis) laughed their heads off. Quistis screamed and started to beat Seifer up. "HOW- DARE-YOU-YOU-SICK-MINDED-PERVERT!" Quistis cried. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Seifer cried. "Let's watch the lovebirds quarrel!" said Selphie. "Yeah, I can already imagine the honeymoon!" said Zell. Both Quistis and Seifer stared at the two, then started to chase them with axes. "While they're doing that, let's see some more stories!" said Rinoa. "Do we have to?" asked Squall. "There's one with Zell." said Rinoa. Squall grinned. "What are you waiting for woman! Get on with it!" Squall cried."Yo! We're gonna read another one!" Irvine yelled to Zell, Selphie, Seifer and Quistis. All four froze, then went back to their positions near the laptop. "Let ME do the honours." said Quistis, and read the story.

'Martial Arts Law'

Zell and Squall were training in the Training Centre.

Zell: OOOOHHHHH YEAHHHHH! WE BEAT THE T-REXAUR

Squall: Yeah, I know. Don't have to yell.

Zell froze, the he frowned at Squall.

Zell: Hey, it's not my fault you're gay!

Squall: (hesitated) Hey! You are too!"

The two froze in silence.

Zell: (timidly) H-hey... d-do you wanna go to the Cafeteria, for some lunch?

Squall: (blushes) Uhh... s-sure, I guess so...

The two headed to the Cafeteria.

When Quistis was done reading, Squall and Zell were screaming and cursing at each other. "COOTIES! YOU'VE GOT COOTIES!" Zell cried. "MALE PROSTITUTE!" Squall cried back.

"ASS WIPE!"

"BITCH-"

"STOP IT ALREADY!" cried Rinoa. But Squall and Zell kept at it. So Selphie quickly hit them with her nunchaku, knocking them unconscious. "Hmm, better!" said Selphie, looking at the two rest side by side.

LOL, things are gonna get even more insane!