Reflection

Clutching the mirror I try to remember when I last thieved

I remember pain that tears and scathes

I promised myself I wouldn't do this again

I wouldn't plot alongside deceitful men

I look in the mirror to see myself, the one

I turn away, disgusted at what I have become

Memories come flooding back

Of looking in a mirror in my ancient past

I remember looking in the golden mirror

The one Kuronue and I had set out for

But only I returned

And that really hurt

I sat there, at my reflection staring

Hating myself for not being so daring

As to go back and rescue him

He was dead now, thanks to my incompetence

I hated my reflection - I still hate my reflection

Is it because my reflection shows my true intention?

My reflection shows the true me

My thoughts, my flaws, my difficulties

It's not my reflection that truly bothers me

It's my incompetence, my emotions, my treachery

All I truly hate… is me

I hate myself for all I am

I hate myself for not being able to do what others can

I hate my reflection in this mirror most of all

Because it proves I'm not able to break away from it all

I can't break away from all that I was and still am

A useless, selfish, cold-hearted fool of a man

I can't deny that under this skin

I am still Yoko Kurama - I am still him

I can never forget nor forgive those days

When I went the most fiendish of ways

When I cared for no one and no one cared for me

No, the second part isn't true, I said that in self-pity

Kuronue cared for me but did I care for him?

No, I turned my back and ran when that bamboo pierced his skin

I was such a coward, running away like that

What right do I have to say I care when I committed such a villainous act?

How could I just turn my back?

I just slunk away like a treacherous rat

I can't forgive what I've done

I can't forget I'm the revolting one

I quake with disgust when I see my reflection

So why can't I stop looking at myself, this abomination?

I hate my reflection to see

Because what's staring back… is despicable me.