DISCLAIMER - It is probably a good thing I don't own Doctor Who, or else this would totally be canon.
One day, the Doctor was sitting in the TARDIS when he realized how sexy she was. He said to her, "Let's do it!" and they had steamy machine sex. By then end, the Doctor was tired and covered in melted cheese.
Then, Amy came in and was appalled at the Doctor's state. "Oh my god! What happened to you, Doctor?" she exclaimed.
The Doctor just smiled and said "Doesn't matter, had sex."
Then Rory came in and was so shocked that he had a heart attack and died again. Captain Jack, who had been filming everything with a camcorder, began to whine, "No fair, I thought I was the guy who was allowed to keep dying and come back." At that, River Song bitchslapped him for being a bitch.
Then... The Master materialized inside the TARDIS! "HahahaHAHAhahHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Imma kill you Doctor," he announced. Then he noticed that Doctor was covered in cheese. "After I eat you," he finished, and started licking the Doctor's suit.
"Ew." said Amy. She wrinkled her nose.
The Doctor shrugged, saying, "Whatever, at least he's not killing humans. Besides, I think I wear Time Lord saliva now. Time Lord saliva is cool..."
The Master interrupted him saying, "Your jacket's prickly and tastes like Dalek jizz, take it off."
So the Doctor did.
Captian Jack looked at River in a "that-looks-fun-can-I-join-in-please-mistress" way. He whined a little. River bitchslapped him again and went back to watching the action with rapt attention.
"I don't wanna be here anymore," muttered Amy. She dragged Rory's corpse to the corner and proceeded to have a long philosophical discussion with it.
After a few sticky and vaguely homoerotic minutes, the Master ran out of cheese. He stood up, wiping his mouth on a scrap of the Doctor's pants. "That was good!" he announced. "And now... MUSIC TIME!"
"Oh, not again," the Doctor groaned.
Wondering what happened?
Read on to find out! Review and I'll love you forever, or at least until my regenerations run out! (I can do R&R too. Just let me know what story you want me to review.)