Basket Boy Auction
A Percy Jackson one-shot
Three Days Earlier:
My cultures teacher passed out some papers, with gibberish written all over it. Well, that's what it looks like to my dyslexic eyes.
"Ok, class, it's time to vote for the Basket Boy Auction. Circle ten boys and raise your hand," she announced. The Basket Boy auction happens every year, where ten guys get publicly humiliated. Mothers love it, seeing their 'little boys' in tuxedoes and making the best basket. It becomes a mother competition. They take picture after picture. Then, one Friday, they all have to stand on the auditorium stage and be 'bought' by girls. It's really funny when someone isn't bid on and a teacher has to bid on them. To me, though, it seems like male prostitution. I circled ten random names and raised my hands, desperately hoping I won't be picked.
Presently:
"-and Jessica Hobson. The Basket Boys this year are; John Lindsay, Michael Santos, Robert Fowler, Harold Moore, Herbert Rios, John Bills, Marshall Humble, William Diaz, Charles Yates, and Perseus Jackson. Please come to the LGA directly after lunch, you will be excused from the rest of your classes," the vice principal announced over the loud speaker. Oh my gods. I'm a Basket Boy. Oh gods. Oh gods, Annabeth! I'll have to Iris Message her later. Oh my gods. A Basket Boy. Me. At least no one's laughing at me or Charlie, some of them know what it's like and they say it's terrible.
"Dude, can you believe our luck?" Charlie groaned as we walked to the LGA really slowly.
"This is terrible," I agreed.
"This could totally set us up, though."
"I have a girlfriend."
"Really? I've never seen you with anyone."
"She lives in San Francisco."
"Dude, that bites." We entered the LGA, the last ones there.
"Oh, goodie! You're all here! Well, as you know, you've been selected as this year's Basket Boys," the Reading specilast, Mrs. Parmer said perkily.
"Oh, joy," I muttered.
"Here's what'll be expected of you. The day after tomorrow, Friday, you will come to school dressed up and with a basket lunch for two. We will practice once more that morning and then the real thing will begin! Girls will bid on you and your lunch," I love how she thinks that our lunch is some big part of this, "And you will be excused of all classes to eat your lunch. Any questions?" No one spoke up and so she led us to the auditorium to practice for the rest of the day.
"Ok, line up, John Bills, William Diaz, Robert Fowler, Marshall Humble, Perseus Jackson, John Lindsay, Harold Moor, Herbert Rios, Michael Santos, and Charles Yates. I'll announce your name and read off the card you will write. Then we'll start bidding, from ten dollars. The highest we've ever gotten was twenty-five dollars. You will then go to the LGA to eat your lunch. Let's rehearse." She walked to the podium, her heels clicking and echoing.
"Our first contestant is John Bills. Here I will read your card. Can I get ten dollars? SOLD to then here I'll say the name of the girl who won. John, just go backstage, we'll keep practicing." I really didn't pay attention (must be the ADHD) until my name was called. Then, I walked on stage and stood on the 'X' taped onto the floor. After she finished her little speech, I went backstage.
We practiced over and over for the remaining two periods. I was glad to get out of the school doors and into my apartment.
"Hi Percy, how was your day?" Mom asked me.
"I'm a Basket Boy," I said glumly.
"That's great, honey! I'll make your basket tomorrow! Oh, this'll be so much fun!" She looked at me and saw I was not so thrilled. "What's wrong?"
"Ahem, have you forgotten Annabeth?" Her hand flew up to her open mouth.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, Percy!" I rolled my eyes and went to my room to Iris Message Annabeth.
"Hey, Seaweed Brain, why so glum?" she asked me. I sighed.
"Please don't kill anyone, but my school does this stupid Basket Boy thing where ten guys get publicly humiliated and auctioned off like male prostitutes. This Friday is 'Basket Day'. Well, guess who got picked this year? Me," I said sadly. Annabeth looked ready to murder, and her face would've been laughable if not for my depression. Her fists balled up at her sides.
"Promise me you won't get another girlfriend?"
"I promise."
"Good." The message shimmered into nothingness, and I was alone.
The next day, this girl, Leah Graves practically ambushed me.
"I heard that Kristi Hammes and Dena Anderson are planning to bid on you," she said as she bounced around. Here's the thing about Kristi and Dena. Apparently they are the 'hottest girls at my school and possibly the world' according to Charlie. I think he's wrong.
"Oh, yay," I said dully.
"Why are you so depressed about that?"
"I have a girlfriend."
"Really? Who?"
"Annabeth Chase. She's from San Francisco."
"Oh, that's not good, well bye!" she skipped off to join her friends. Charlie came up to me.
"Dude, sorry about last night, my mom wanted to talk baskets. So, why was Leah Graves talking to you?" he asked.
"She was just informing me that Kristi Hammes and Dena Anderson are planning on bidding on me," I informed him. He gave me a high five.
"DUDE!"
"No, not DUDE! I have a girlfriend, remember?"
"Oh yes, this mysterious 'San Francisco' chick." I rolled my eyes at him.
The whole day, Kristi and Dena were being super nice to me. It made me wanna puke up blood. I have also now found out that Ginger Phillips wants to bid on me. Ginger is the tallest girl in our school, and the girl's basketball captain. No one wants her, unfortunately, but she wants me.
When I got home from school, Mom gave me the complete walkthrough of my basket. It had Grilled Parmigiano Reggiano Cheese Sandwiches (which I have never heard of in my entire life), star fruit (which I also have never heard of), fruit of the Kousa dogwood (I also have never heard of this), and her famous blue cookies. Plus a strawberry banana milkshake. Wow, that is really fancy. She also went out and bought me a new suit and tie. Paul laughed at it and I went to bed feeling stupid.
The next day was torture. We went straight to the LGA where we were forced to fill out index cards about our lunches and ourselves.
"Uhhh, Mrs. Parmer? How do you spell Parmigiano Reggiano?" I asked.
"P-A-R-M-I-G-I-A-N-O R-E-G-G-I-A-N-O," she told me. It took me forever to write that, what with my dyslexia. At the end I was the only one still working. "Percy, are you almost done?"
"Yes…maybe…no. I'm dyslexic, as you know, and letters really make no sense whatsoever to me."
"Just go with what'cha got, we have to get ready, the auditorium is filling up."
She had us walk down the halls in a single file line, in order, which made me feel like a kindergartener. Mrs. Parmer told everyone to settle and then began the auction with all the rules and stuff.
"Our first contestant is John Bills. His lunch consists of Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches, Goldfish crackers, chocolate chip cookies, and apple juice, yummy!" That sounds like what you eat in preschool. "He enjoys video games and playing the oboe. Can I start the bidding at ten dollars?" A voice piped up from the back and said,
"Ten dollars!"
"Ten dollars, ten dollars, going once, going twice, SOLD to Alejandra Rennings for ten dollars!" My ADHD was getting to me and I was bouncing uncontrollably. Finally, she called my name. I walked onto the stage.
"His lunch is made up of Parmigiano Reggiano Cheese Sandwiche, star fruit, fruit of the Kousa dogwood, and blue cookies. Plus a strawberry banana milkshake. Can I start the bidding at…"
Kristi interrupted her with "TEN!"
"FIFTEEN!" Dena shouted.
"Twenty!"
"Twenty five!"
"Thirty!"
"Oh my," Mrs. Parmer giggled.
"Thirty five!" Kristi yelled.
"Forty!"
"Forty five!"
"Fifty!" Dena asked her friends for more money.
"Fifty two and seventy seven cents!"
"ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!" Ginger bellowed from the back. Oh, gods. This will be the end of my life. I wish Hades would just suck me up to the Underworld right now. Kristi and Dena pooled all their money together and shouted "One hundred seven dollars and eighty one cents!" Oh, gods. Two dates.
"One hundred seven dollars eighty one cents going once, going twice," Just then, the auditorium doors opened and standing there was a blonde angel.
"I'll give you two hundred seventy nine bucks and eleven cents," Annabeth said. I'm pretty sure I heard Kristi and Dena yelling, "She doesn't even go here!" but the rest of the world was drowned out by her. She smiled at me and I jumped off the stage, pushing random people out of my way. They made a little pathway and I ran towards Annabeth. She leapt into my arms and I kissed her with all I had. Many girls started sobbing but I really didn't care at that moment (maybe it was because my brain was a pile of mush). After what felt like forever we pulled away reluctantly.
"Nice tux, Seaweed Brain," she teased.
"Oh, ha, ha," I muttered. "Where did you get that money?" She gestured to the hallway and three people came into view. They ran towards me. Thalia threw herself onto me.
"Watch it, sister," Annabeth warned. Nico gave me a high five and Grover started to, but I noticed there was some sort of ring on his finger.
"What's with the ring?"
"Oh, uh, Juniper and I, uh me and Juniper, um," he started.
"You're getting married."
"Umm yeah. Be best man?"
"Totally."
So, apparently Annabeth doesn't count because she doesn't go to school here, and I ended up eating lunch with Kristi and Dena. I learned that Annabeth (and Thalia but she doesn't count) is the only girl who can truly appreciate blue cookies. They kept trying to throw themselves onto me, it was disgusting but funny at the same time.
"So, Seaweed Brain," Kristi started. I gave her a confused look.
"Huh?" I asked.
"Isn't that some sort of nickname?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Well, uh, that girl, you uh, she, uh."
"Annabeth? Oh it's an inside joke"
"Mind letting me in on it?"
"Sorry, I'm not aloud to tell, but uh, it has something to do with Greek mythology." Then her and Dena got into a catfight about who was going to figure it out first, and they raced off to the library. I was aloud to leave and I found Annabeth and our friends loitering outside on the steps.
"Hey, Seaweed Brain," she said. I kissed her like we were dying. Kristi came running out of the school screaming, "Your dad's Poseidon!" Even though she was right, she was carted off to a mental facility.
I thought this Basket Boy thing was going to be horrible, but it made me realize two things. One, girls fight like cats, and two, Annabeth is really hot when she's angry.