Do you guys know what today is? July 21st. Meaning? It has been 5 years since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was first released. That was a sad day. A very bittersweet day. So I wrote a story...that's kind of sad...and contains rambles that probably don't flow very well. But review, maybe?
He spoke haltingly, not quite sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. He spoke haltingly, trying to keep his voice under control. But the words came in a rush, his quiet control yanked away from him as quickly as his friends has been.
"Someone once told me that without pain, there could be no joy." Remus Lupin paused, biting his tongue hard to maintain some form of composure. "James and Lily suffered like no others, but their moments of happiness were...were more than happiness. They knew pain, and so they enjoyed their moments of pleasure as much as they could.
"James was one of the best friends a boy could ask for. From the first day I met him to the last day I saw him, I loved him as a brother. I would do anything for me, and he would...he did everything for me. Some saw him as arrogant. Perhaps to people he didn't know him. The boy I knew was clever, generous, and sought to enjoy his life to the fullest. He didn't know pain in the same way many people did – he was born to wealth and grew up with everything he could have ever asked for. But he knew betrayal, which for him, was the worst form of pain imaginable.
"I didn't know Lily very well when we were younger. But I grew to like her and respect her. We became friends. At first glance, she seemed the complete opposite of James. You would think so, from the amount of arguments they had. But when you knew them both, really knew them...they were two sides of the same coin. Your average students with cores of iron. The clashes they had came from them being more similar than different."
Remus swallowed. How could he explain, how could he explain the kind of people they were without dishonouring James's memory, without admitting he had betrayed Dumbledore's trust?
"Lily faced prejudice for being a Muggleborn. James and his family didn't fit the typical pure blood mould. He was cast off as a blood traitor. Lily was forced to leave behind her family, and James...his was dead before hers.
"They both joined the Order of the Phoenix at seventeen, just after graduation. Married early, and fought for the remaining four years of their lives. Still, they always managed to find a smile. And when they had their child, Harry...I've never seen anyone happier. They treasured their moments of happiness, their moments with Harry."
Remus's throat was dry, scratchy. He felt empty. He looked out at the people watching him. Not many. Not people who had known them as he had. So many of their friends were dead, most before them. Within twenty four hours of their demise, two more had been tortured into insanity, another killed, and one sent to Azkaban forever. The people before Remus hadn't been James and Lily's true friends, the ones who had fought by their sides for years. There were some, mingled in with the crowd. Not all. Not even Lily's only sister.
They weren't the people who mourned on a day that should have been happy. They weren't the ones who shed tears while others were celebrating the demise of Lord Voldemort. They weren't the people who couldn't be happy that he was gone because they weren't mourning friends.
"I can't say what they would say to us if they were here. If they were here, we wouldn't even have to be here. But I can imagine James wanting to hit me over the head and yell at me to enjoy the remainder of my life...of being able to live without fear..."
Remus couldn't do that. He spoke what he was almost certain James would have told him, but to live life without fear when he had lost the three people that had prevented fear on the nights from hell...to live life without fear when the best people he had had the fortune to know had been torn away from him...
"He would tell me to move on. That I can do. I can even try to live my life without fear, knowing that I can go to bed at night without having to worry about Lord Voldemort. I can try. For him. But one more thing that he might say that I will never do is that I should forget him. Not remember him and think, what would James do? every moment of the day. That, I will never, ever do. I am sure that many of you have tried. And those of you who have can agree with me when I say that it's impossible to forget a friend."
And indeed, Remus could see many pairs of eyes closing, bowed heads, faint nods. Solemn looks upon some faces, others with faint smiles.
Remus laughed ruefully. "Funny, isn't it? Both Lily and James would have hated this. James would have just wanted to get over the fact that his dearest friend had betrayed him. He would have been more anguished than furious at him, had James lived...but James wouldn't want that for me, for us. He would have wanted us to not live our lives in hatred, enjoy what's left of them, because we could be gone just as quickly as he was. For him, I will do my best to stop the anger, and remember the Sirius Black who was as good as a brother to me.
"I'll miss James and Lily to no end, but in all honesty? I think they would have preferred this. A quick, painless death, going down fighting rather than old, weak, and in pain lying around in bed. So, goodbye to them, and to all of you...I'm sorry. They're gone and it's us that has to miss them every day."
Remus turned, walked away from the eyes of the crowd, walked away to mingle amongst them. He found himself standing next to Professor McGonagall, clad in black dress robes. She placed a steady hand on his shoulder, her eyes unusually bright.
He avoided her gaze, blinking back the tears that threatened to well in his own eyes. Remember what you just said.
They had once said nothing would tear them apart. They had been young and foolish, but that had been a promise. A promise that had been made when James, Sirius, and Peter and told him they knew Remus was a werewolf. A decade later, and he, Remus John Lupin, was all that was left.
All that was left of the four boys who had thought themselves invincible.
All that was left of what had once been one of the finest group of friends ever known.
All that was left to remember what it had been.
All that was left to feel the pain.
So, question: where were you all, five years ago? Were you reading the book? Were you happy, sad? Both? I was in India, waiting for my dad to come with the book for me. I avoided newspapers and the Internet for three days until I got it. I tried to read slowly, but I couldn't! I think I finished in 3 hours, then sat there, refusing to move.