„Polar bears or llamas?" Robbie asked, not looking up from the sheet of paper in front of him. After waiting for my answer for a few seconds that felt like infinity for him, he looked up, slightly annoyed and spotted my distant glance. "OUGH BECK! This is the third time now this is happening, can you please answer my question?" Robbie asked, desperately, waving his hand frantically.
"Grizzly bears or koalas?" I asked, being dragged back to reality.
"NO! POLAR BEARS OR LLAMAS!" Robbie screamed, still annoyed. He shook his head every two seconds, while moving the pen in his fingers. "Beck I really need to finish that test, so could you please concentrate?" he added insistently.
"Okay…uhm…polar bears I guess" I answered simply, not really getting the whole point of Robbie's survey for his Biology class.
"Why no llamas though?" he asked disappointed of my answer "they are cute and funny and…"
"And they spit at you when you annoy them." I cut him off getting slightly annoyed.
"Pff…You don't have to annoy them." Robbie answered, shrugging, while emphasizing annoy.
"But you did when we were in the zoo in 6th grade" I shot back, trying to prove my point.
"No!" he shouted quietly offended "the guy behind me annoyed them!" he defended himself.
"So it wasn't you, trying to feed them gummy bears?" I asked smirking at the silly memory.
"What were you thinking of earlier?" Robbie tried to change the topic, still feeling offended by me. His arms were crossed and he was pouting. Sometimes I wondered how I got to be friends with people like him, but then I remember, that as weird as I find them, I'd still don't want them to be apart from me. Although he was my friend, I still couldn't get over myself to tell him what, or rather who, I was staring at. So I just didn't answer and turned my head to the side, not wanting him to see me blush, which didn't go unnoticed by him. He narrowed his eyes and looked in the direction I was staring at dreamily before. His eyes widened as he spat out the name of the person, with unbelievable disgust in his voice.
"Jade?" Jade, the girl I recently had a crush on, took over my mind. We all were kinda new at this school, entering our third months now. We all already built a small group of people that were hanging out together. My peer group consisted of Andre, Robbie and Rex (although the last one doesn't really count) and every now and then some girls, who hang out with us, because they were either interested in Andre or me. Jade was always hanging out with a perky, sweet girl called Cat. She was well known as the "red-head" or "candy girl", because she had bright red hair and mostly brought candy to school. They were both really pretty girls and although I never talked to them, they seemed very opposite, like the sweet innocent happy-go-lucky girl and the secretive dark goth girl. Nevertheless, I fell for that dark girl, maybe over the excitement of finding out who she is, or over the fact, that I could see more to her, than some people thought there was. I didn't know, but I really wanted to find out more about her and –
"You just can't like Jade!" Robbie, once again, interrupted my chain of thought. "She is…she is…it's just wrong!" he said, the disgust laying thickly in his voice.
"Why can't I?" I asked feeling kind of not taken seriously "…if I would like her, what I never said I would." I added to make him feel more comfortable, but much more to make me feel more comfortable, because I never 'simply' fall for a girl. Beck Oliver doesn't do that…never…
"Didn't you hear…?" Robbie asked, his disgust turning into astonishment about my assumed unknowingness.
"Didn't I hear what?" I asked unsure of what may be coming now.
"Well…" Robbie was struggling with the words and somehow didn't know how to express himself.
"Well, what?" I asked, getting more curious about what has been some kind of rumour as it seemed.
"Well…" Robbie started again, while I was starting to get irritated due to my curiosity. "…she kinda isn't that into boys, you know?" he said awkwardly, noticeably relaxing now.
"What do you mean she's not that into…oh…" Realization hit me. That wasn't something I expected, wasn't something I even thought about, wasn't something I considered happening. How could I have not noticed? I mean she and Cat were…wait…her and Cat? The sweet little girl and the dark beauty? Is that the reason they're always hanging out with one another? No, this can't be true, she isn't lesbian. I wouldn't have fallen for a girl who is lesbian. Beck Oliver never really falls for girls, and if he does, he surely doesn't fall for a girl who's into girls, no, no, no, NO! "How come you think that?" I asked Robbie, a light layer of frustration in my voice.
"It's not just me who thinks that." he answered nonchalantly.
"A lot of people do so" Rex added, followed by one of his creepy laughs.
"But why?" I asked still not believing what just happened to me. My life is being crushed. And I'm not that kind of person who sits in his room, crying over girls, that's just not me.
"Well…she has that tattoo…that star, that you might have seen." I nodded, gesturing him to continue "This tattoo she is having on her underarm is a symbol for lesbians." he finished, nodding proudly at what he said. I just nodded slowly, trying to digest what I have been told.
"And her boobs are fake!" Rex shouted. Robbie immediately put his hand over Rex's mouth and smiled awkwardly.
"Fake?" I asked, glancing over to Jade to catch a glimpse at her chest. Indeed her breasts were really big for a 7th grader, but this could also just be super-genes. I looked back at Robbie with an expecting look.
"Her dad has a lot of money, duh…" he said, if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I just shook my head. This was ridiculous. Everything was ridiculous and seemed like a joke. I got up, ready to leave…I needed to talk to someone, to my best friend.
"Where is Andre?" I asked Robbie, while picking up my backpack.
"With his new girlfriend" he answered, while taking a bite of his burrito. I rolled my eyes and left.
B&J
I wasn't able to talk to Andre. His new girlfriend took over him. A silly girl, who was just into having a good reputation and being cool. Andre sometimes took advantage of those girls and had his fun with them, until he had enough and/or got bored. He's that kind of boy your mother would like. He is smooth, nice and a gentleman. But he doesn't want to be committed, though. Not yet.
I was wandering through the hallways, not really knowing where my path is leading me to, until I reached my locker. I decided to clean it up a little, before the bell rang for class. But suddenly my intent to do so got interrupted, by the bittersweet sight of the dark beauty. She was at her scissor locker, pulling out a black painted book, which seemed to be a maths book in disguise. I smiled at her creation and looked up to her, just to see her looking back at me, suspicion in her eyes. I could have just turned away, because hell yeah, I was embarrassed, but on the other hand, I was Beck Oliver and I don't get embarrassed easily. I felt the heat crawling up my face, turning it a light red, which didn't seem that strong, because of my olive skin. But Jade didn't even think about smiling back. She just kept glaring, glaring, until her expression changed into a frown, followed by the sound of a locker door being slammed. I jumped, when the loud bell above me rang, making clear, that the next lesson will begin shortly. I sighed loudly, closed my locker and made my way to the black box theatre. I wasn't in a hurry, so I walked slowly, starting to get depressed about my momentary situation.
As I reached the room, I quietly opened the door and entered the room full of students. I sat down on a seat in the back, deciding that I wanted to think about my current situation. Two minutes after the lesson started, though, the door was opened again and a slightly annoyed Jade entered. As far as I knew her, from seeing of course, I could tell that she was annoyed quiet often and I always wondered why. I looked around to see where she was going to sit and noticed, that there was just one seat left in the room. It was the seat beside me. Was this destiny? Was this the universe's call to show me, that she was my destination, my girl?
I looked up to her and smiled, trying to make her feel welcome. But the only thing she did, was faking a smile which was dripping with faked politeness, that it actually made me feel bad. I felt offended, kind of insulted. I mean, I didn't know what I did wrong. I never hit on her, I was never annoying, heck, I never even talked to her. After what seemed like five minutes, I started to feel uncomfortable with the silence that was between us, although there always has been silence. But this was my chance, maybe the only one I was able to have for a long time, so I needed to grasp this opportunity by the forelock.
"My name is Beck" I whispered, after leaning closer to her. She was just a few inches away from me, so that my breath touched her ear. She jerked back and abruptly moved away with her chair. I nodded, didn't see this as a rebuff and tried to talk to her again. "You're Jade, right?"
"Yeah, don't talk to me." she hissed, making clear that she didn't want to be spoken to.
"Pardon?" I asked, a little bit surprised by her response. She glared at me, her eyes widening furiously. She leaned closer and placed her hand on my leg, squeezing it a bit harder than necessary. I flinched a bit, after I felt her nails digging into my skin. I still managed to get a polite grin out and waited for her to say, what she had to say.
"Listen, idiot. I'm not in the mood for your stupid little children's conversation. So move back and leave me the hell alone. Understood?" There was so much hatred in her voice, so much venom she spat at me, that I started feeling bad, feeling apologetic for what I did, although I didn't do anything wrong. I leaned back in my chair and looked to the front, making her loosen her grip, removing her hand from my leg. I didn't even dare to look at her for another 10 minutes, before the bad feeling was replaced by anger.
How dare she, a girl, talk to me like that? How can she always be so mean to people although they are just trying to be nice to her? I had the feeling that I might explode, if I didn't talk to her again.
"You know…you don't have to act like a bitch towards boys, just because you are…" My voice suddenly trailed off and I felt the urge to take back everything I just said. I just made two mistakes. The first mistake was calling her a bitch…with that I ruined all my chance for her to ever like me…the second mistake was that I was hinting at her orientation…what the heck did I even think, when I opened my mouth to defend myself?
"Just because I'm what?" said the voice that belonged to the dark beauty next to me. Her voice was like a mixture of being scandalized and being annoyed with a slight air of curiosity. I knew I couldn't take back what I said, so it would be better if I just continued, right?
"…lesbian" I said and immediately regretted it, after hearing her breathing out sharply. I pressed my eyes together, hoping for her to simply forget what I said, but she didn't even think about that.
"A what? What did you just say?" she asked, trying to find confirmation to what her ears just perceived.
"Uhm..you know what…just forget it." I tried to make her forget, but she didn't even think about forgetting.
"You just called me a lesbian, you walking Bollywood movie. How can I just 'forget it'" She asked, aping the "forget it" part with an impressively deep man voice.
"I'm sorry, okay?" I said sincerely, trying to calm her down.
"Sorry about what? Shove your sorry up your ass!" she stated furiously, starting to tense up. "Why do you even think I'm a lesbian? Do I have short hair? Do I look like a man?" she added.
"First of all…you're having prejudice." I started, she rolled her eyes "Second of all I said I'm sorry, so try to relax and forget it, okay?"
"Not okay." she answered, crossing her arms, I sighed. "Tell me why you thought I was a lesbian!" she added, now in a softer tone. I looked at her and ran my fingers nervously through my hair.
"Well…you have that star tattoo…uhm…yeah…that's it." I stuttered nervously, because I was trying too hard to avoid that topic.
"So?" she asked, putting emphasize on every letter.
"Ehm…this tattoo is a lesbian tattoo…" I finally managed to get out. She stared laughing and I looked at her surprised. She stopped laughing and bent forward to me.
"Okay listen Curry-boy. I don't know where you made your lacking research, but that tattoo means hope to get home. It is a sailor's tattoo. Got it?" she said with an assumed voice, as if she was a smart ass, while pointing at the tattoo on her forearm. I didn't like her attitude, not the way she was acting before, nor the way she acted right now. She felt superior. But she wasn't and that was for me to prove.
"Gosh, girl. You are as fake as your breasts." I said, trying to sound superior because I knew that secret. But as I looked at her, her jaw was dropping.
"FAKE?" she asked sounding fully offended. And in that moment I realized that I maybe, but just maybe, shouldn't believe everything Robbie tells me. He just got me in a whole lot of trouble right now.
"Seeing your reaction I assume they are not fake?" I asked awkwardly, trying way too hard not to take a glimpse of these watermelons. She closed her mouth, turning away from me. Andre once told me, that whenever he was in an awkward situation, he made a joke, so I attempted on making one. " When life hands you watermelons, grab them and run." I said, chuckling. She just looked at me, her eyes narrowed. Failed at joking…
"Okay listen! I don't know what you were trying to attempt, but when you tried to flirt with me, you obviously failed big time. Now please leave me alone with your pathetic attempts and play with your holy cow." she said and with that the bell rang. She got up, muttered something under her breath and left the room. I kept on sitting there, till everyone was out. I covered my face in my hands and started overthinking the whole situation. I was dumb, I was stupid, I was a freaking idiot. I guess I should beat up Robbie for ruining my chance to go on a date with her. But it was my fault. I shouldn't have let his words affect me so much. I needed to talk to her. NOW. Or maybe later.
School was over and I was thinking about the fact, that I might not find her anymore, which caused so much sadness in me. I walked towards her locker and waited there for her to (maybe) arrive. I waited for over 5 minutes, until I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Are you serious? What? Are you waiting up for me to throw more insults at me?" I turned around to see an angry Jade in front of me. I sighed. This was not going to be easy.
"No, Jade…"
"Don't say my name." she interrupted me in a threatening voice, I raised my eyebrows in confusion, but shrugged it off.
"Listen, Ja-. Listen. I just came here to apologize to you. I don't know what was wrong with me in that room, but I'm sorry, really sorry. And I wanna make it up to you." I said sincerely.
"No, thanks." she said coldly, shoving me to the side. I turned around, ready to leave. I tried. I really tried…who am I lying to. I did not try. So I turned towards her again, causing her to turn her head in my direction. "What?" she pressed out.
"Jade. I like you, I really do. So why can't you just do me that favour and go on a date with me? I know I messed it up, but that person you got to know in this room isn't the real Beck. I am the real Beck and I am deeply sorry for hurting you. Can I please invite you to drink a coffee with me?" I asked, slightly pleading.
"I don't go on dates with random boys." she finally answered after a short pause. I grabbed her arm and dragged her closer to me.
"I'm not a random guy, okay?" My face was just a few inches away from her face, but I didn't dare to get any closer. I waited for her next reply, which came shortly after.
"Okay." she simply said, shrugging me off.
"Okay what? Okay that I'm not a random guy, or okay that you are going on a date with me?" I asked slightly confused about her ambiguous statement. A small smile formed on the corner of her mouth.
"The latter" she whispered and walked past me, leaving me standing alone in the hallway. I smiled widely.
B&J
On the weekend we met up in a coffee shop a few miles away from our school, to make sure that no one saw us. I opened the door for her gentleman-like and she entered. We ordered our coffees and sat down.
"So tell me…why did you want to go on a date with me?" Jade asked, not removing her glance from the cup of coffee in front of her. I smiled a little.
"Well…" I started, feeling the heat crawling up my body. My head felt like it was a red tomato and I needed to take a deep breath to concentrate again. "Well…" I started over, she glanced up. "I kinda saw you one day and thought you were pretty. And that's when I wanted to get to know you better…not for your looks, but you seemed interesting, mysterious…" I answered, rubbing my sweaty hand against my pair of jeans. She smiled a little and we sat there in an awkward silence for a while.
"Now it's your turn." she suddenly said.
"My turn?" I asked slightly confused.
"Ask me a question" she said trying to hide her excitement by biting her lips, which I thought was pretty hot. I thought for a second and bent forward, smiling.
"Why did you agree on going on that date with me?" She smirked.
"Sympathy" she answered, that smirk still plastered on her lips. I laughed.
"That's how you call attraction nowadays, huh?" I asked, winking at her. She chuckled.
"Yes, sympathy. Sympathy for that poor little Indian boy, who does nothing but eating rice all day. I just wanted to let you taste something else." she answered, leaning back in her seat. I shook my head in joking disbelief.
"You, young lady, are full of prejudice."
"So what?" she answered, crossing her arms in amusement.
"Do you kiss on the first date?" I asked her, regretting the question as soon as it came out of my mouth. She would hate me for that. Really hate me. She leaned forward to me, a serious expression on her face. I couldn't read her thoughts right now and that really crept me out. Suddenly her mouth playfully turned into a wide smile and she threw a tissue at me.
"You wish"
On that day I learned one thing about Jade West. Jade West could be anything, anything but predictable.
B&J
We continued having dates, meeting up at her place, texting, calling each other. And I was pretty sure that this was going in a good direction. But we had to keep our relationship a secret. No one would approve of us being a couple and everyone would make fun of us. And that was the last thing happening.
2 months after our first date, we managed to keep our relationship a secret easily. But suddenly the universe wanted us to struggle. Robbie has told me that he liked Cat. Therefore one day we went to her and Jade's lunch table. They were sitting there quietly, while Jade was playing around with her burrito. When we approached them, they both looked up and I smiled at her, just to get an annoyed glance back. I wondered what I did wrong, for we were doing well yesterday. We asked if we can sit down and Cat eagerly agreed. I smiled at her, feeling that her and Robbie might hook up soon. We all chatted a bit, although Jade was super quite. I wondered what it was that was bugging her that much, so I decided to ask her after school, when I visit her place.
B&J
Ding Dong
I rang the doorbell of the West's house, feeling kinda nervous. Jade tried to avoid me all day at school and I just needed clarification of what I did wrong, because I couldn't remember insulting her or treating her badly lately. Jade's mother opened the door and seemed annoyed, telling me 'Jade is upstairs' turning around and walking back to the direction she apparently came from. I walked upstairs and knocked on the second door. A loud 'NO' approached me aggressively through the door.
"Jade…it's me…Beck."
"Double No!" she shouted from inside. I tried to open the door, but it was locked.
"Babe, please? Let me enter! And tell me what happened?" She didn't answer. "Okay. Then you want me to go?" I asked, trying to test her.
"Yes" she simply answered, making me feel slightly offended.
"Okay then I'm leaving. Bye" I said in a nonchalant tone, pretending to leave by making loud footsteps. I silently sat down next to her door and waited. After a few seconds, I heard her tip toeing through her room. She locked the door open and peaked out, jumping when she saw me.
"Are you kidding me, Beck?" she asked annoyed, opening the door for me.
"Oh come on! You really thought I'd leave you alone, when you are feeling down?" I smirked, pulling her closer. She pulled away, sitting down on her bed, looking at me sadly. "What's wrong?" I asked concerned, sitting down next to her.
"It's…" she stared, just to finish her sentence with "…nothing-" She took a strand of her hair and put it behind her ear. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her closer. After kissing the top of her head, I lifted her chin, to look her in the eyes.
"Tell me what's wrong, babe!"
"You promise you won't break up with me?" she asked, a thick layer of insecurity in her voice. It shocked me. I always just saw the fierce and feisty Jade, but never the insecure one. Although it was the wrong time to think about that, I had to admit that I really loved this moment. I loved it for being real. She showed me a complete different side of her, a side that she always tries to hide. A side she wouldn't just let anybody see.
"I promise" I answered, smiling reassuringly.
"Cat obviously likes you…" Jade muttered. I was taken aback. The sweet little, bubbly girl likes me. That was something I didn't expect at all.
"She does? Well…I think you just got it wrong. She can't like me. She's your best friend, who…"
"…who doesn't know about our relationship?" Jade asked desperately, while standing up. "I was sitting next to her, listening to her blah blah about how cute your chin is!" she shouted out, waving her arms around.
"M-my chin?" I asked confused, touching it lightly. "Uhm…calm down first. This crush will go away when she realizes that she's way more into Robbie." I answered calmly. She looked at me with disgust.
"Robbie is the solution to this problem? Why don't you just go ahead and make out with her!" she asked, trying her hardest not to cry.
"Jade…calm down. what is your problem?" I stood up, trying to pull her into a hug, but she didn't want to.
"Our relationship is my problem!" she shouted, before facepalming.
"Why?" I asked, my voice almost gone. I felt a big lump in my throat. I thought our relationship was going good, going great. But maybe I just saw everything wrong?
"Why, Beck? Why?" she repeated my question. "I'll tell you why. I'm sick of sneaking around, hearing girls say how amazing you are in front of me. I don't know why you hate me so much to be afraid what people think of us!"
"Jade…I…I…I thought you wanted that…" I trailed off. I couldn't believe what she was saying. I loved our relationship…and I even think I…kinda…love her.
"Please just leave!" she said, pushing me towards the door. I just let her push me out, because I was clearly out of my mind. I couldn't think. Everything was so mixed up and I just needed to get home.
When I arrived there, I laid down on the bed, reflecting our whole relationship. In the beginning she was holding herself back, stayed distant. But the more time we spent together, the more she opened up. I loved how she laughed, how she teased me and how amazingly she kissed. Her character was a mix of everything. You just needed to push the right button. I never felt like she hated our relationship that much though. I actually was dumb enough to think that she was happy. She couldn't have faked these moments, could she? I started doubting if I ever knew that girl that I was dating. Still dating. Were we even still dating? My head was about to explode, but I was awake the whole night, thinking about her and me, about us.
The next day I forced myself to school. I wasn't even sure if I was love sick, but I was feeling like shit. As I arrived by my locker, I couldn't help but glance over to Jade's locker to see if she was there. She was and immediately looked away, as our eyes made contact. When she was trying to ignore me, I would go for the same. I know you shouldn't fight fire with fire, but I wasn't in the mood to use water. I turned away, not wanting to face her, as a nice looking girl approached me.
"Hey Beck. I'm having a beach party tonight. Would you and your little friend like to come?" she asked winking, coming closer. I awkwardly backed off and cleared my throat.
"No, sorry. I'm already seeing somebody." I answered.
"You are? Whom?" the girl asked in disbelief, wondering who the sudden competition was.
"Jade." I pressed out. Suddenly everything around me was quiet.
"You're dating Jade?" the girl asked in shock. "Like in Jade Goth Bitch West?" Everyone waited for my reaction. I took a deep breath.
"NO. As in Jade West." I finally answered, turning around, to see Jade standing by her locker, looking confident, although I could see a little hint of insecurity in her eyes. A smile crept across my face, as I walked towards her, grabbing her hand.
"You are dating Jade?" a nerdy looking boy asked. "You are not fitting together." he added, looking from me to her. Jade wanted to say something, but I interrupted her.
"Yes we are dating. And we don't give a single fuck about the fact if you think we fit or not. You know what doesn't fit? That sweater to these trousers." I said angrily, pointing at what he was wearing. He widened his eyes and left. The rest was still glaring. In between all of them was Cat, who felt a tad bit ashamed. ..and Robbie, who took that opportunity to pat her back.
"Why don't you guys just take a picture! It will last longer" Jade said sarcastically and suddenly movement came into that recently frozen hallway. I looked at her and smiled sheepishly. She smiled back and crushed her lips against mine, kissing me passionately for the first time in public. In that moment I couldn't care less, what anyone else was thinking.
Hey guys! :) New story new luck. This was a story I wrote for chasingafterstarlight. A story with Beck & Jade secretly dating. Unfortunately the "secret dating" part turned out a bit short. So sorry for that! Hope you enjoyed this story though.
Don't forget to Review!
~teddybaer~