Broken Friendships
Parvati sat in the common room, staring out of the window and into the rain that was falling heavily down on the castle, wondering where in the world she went wrong.
She felt so… so torn inside of herself.
She felt neglected. Nauseous. Unwanted. Weak. She felt like she could have done so much to make the first move, so SHE could have come out victorious and strong in this war.
The war inside of herself. The war that made her want to break down and cry.
You see, she was alone now. Alone in the world, facing it by herself. Facing the hopelessness and lies of the world, taking the blows alone, with not a single person to help her.
And all of this being alone only began, strangely enough, with a friend.
Friends were supposed to bring you happiness, right? They were supposed to make you feel excepted and like everything was ok. Like you would always have someone you could rely on and turn to. Then… why did Parvati end up with the one friend that obviously hadn't read the friendship rulebook? How could friendship turn into hate in less than a split second?
When she had begun her friendship with Lavender Brown back in first year, things hadn't been so bad. Lavender was outgoing and energetic and Parvati was shy. She didn't mind at first how Lavender took control and made choices. Parvati just went with the flow.
But, as she grew older and found herself seeking independence and trying to find herself, so did Lavender. Parvati started to question Lavender's tirades in her fourth year, and the way she was SO outgoing, she was almost controlling.
She never actually spoke up, though. She just LET Lavender push her around. It wasn't until her fifth year that she finally grew sick of it.
Parvati felt the vivid memory playing in her mind of the moment their friendship seemed to fall apart.
"Lavender," she remembered saying a few weeks ago. "Would you mind NOT calling me Smelly Vati?" Lavender had been teasing her with that name since the day before, and it really bothered Parvati.
Lavender had just giggled innocently. "Don't look at me. Seamus came up with it. Blame him."
Parvati had clenched her fists and remembered the anger that had swelled inside of her at the thought of her supposed 'best friend' laughing and agreeing to a 'playful' joke Seamus made. "I don't care who came up with it, I want it to stop."
Lavender had stopped giggling and a scowl took over her face. "Jeez, I was only joking. Don't be such a priss."
Parvati had seethed and nearly howled, "A priss?! Oh, so now I'm being a priss?!"
Lavender was taken aback, never having seen her quiet little friend so aggressive. "Calm down. Don't freak out on me. You're overreacting; we were just JOKING."
Parvati threw her hands up in the air, completely dumbfounded. So now she was 'freaking out'?! Now she was 'OVERREACTING'?! Lavender didn't get it, did she? All Parvati wanted was for her friend to treat her well, like she deserved to be treated.
But, apparently Lavender didn't care! She just kept going.
"Parvati, what's your problem these days?" she asked, wanting an answer. "You're so sensitive these days. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, it makes you touchy."
Parvati couldn't stand it anymore. "Lavender, you don't get what this is about, do you? I'm not wearing my heart on my sleeve, as you so bluntly put it! I'm tired of being treated like a bloody piece of dung!"
Lavender scoffed. "Please. I'm nice enough to take you under my wing and be your friend, and now you want to be treated like the queen, or something?"
Parvati tried with all of her will not to whip her wand out and hex Lavender into a little pile of dust.
"No Lavender," she said, keeping her cool. "All I want is to be treated as your FRIEND. And DON'T you dare say that you DO treat me like a friend, because you DON'T." she added hotly.
Lavender sneered. "Don't talk to me that way, Smelly Vati. No one talks to me that way. If I treated you any better, you could be the bloody Headmistress."
Parvati fought back her violent thoughts. She absolutely REFUSED to stoop to Lavender's level.
"Lavender, believe what you want. I'm going." She turned and headed toward the stairs that lead to the dormitories. "And by the way," she said, turning for a moment to face Lavender, "You have no right to treat me as someone below you. I don't care if you think you treat me well. You don't all the time, and you CERTAINLY aren't now. We're both witches and we are both equal. You're NOT my elder, and I DON'T have to show you any authority. I thought a friend would know better."
And with that, she turned around and walked away. She didn't look back once.
Parvati smiled slightly at the memory. It had felt great to show such power and control. But now, it had been three weeks since either of the girls had talked, and suddenly, Parvati felt very alone. Sure, she had a sister. But her sister was in Ravenclaw. Parvati barely saw her.
She missed the good times her and Lavender had shared. She missed the laughter that seemed to be constant between them. She missed the school gossip they shared, giggling and talking about what it would feel like to kiss a boy or be in love.
Parvati sighed, staring at the pouring rain again out of the window. It seemed to match her mood perfectly. She felt depressed and sad, like the water falling from the sky and onto the ground, full of seeming grief. But yet she also felt powerful, almost liberated about telling Lavender how she felt about being treated wrongly, like the thunder that shook the earth and the lightning up ahead.
In front of Parvati was a small table, like a lot of the ones in the common room. On it rested a quill, a bottle of ink, and a sheet of parchment.
Parvati's mother had always told her that it was always good to release your thoughts on paper when you're angry, or sad, or are feeling any emotions that bother you. So, taking her mum's advice, she slowly felt her hand reaching for the quill.
She rested her hand, the quill in it, on top of the page, at first completely stumped. What was she supposed to write?
Parvati thought back on her mum's words and remembered her saying to let her mind be free as she let the words pour out on the paper. To write whatever was on her mind and heart.
So she began to move her hand on the paper, forming words.
The more she wrote, the easier it became. Her hands where moving rhythmically against the parchment, almost like she was composing a symphony. She let her worries, fears and heartaches drop onto the paper, like the rain falling outside.
After her endless flow of words seemed to come to finally run dry, Parvati slowly and reluctantly set her quill down and looked at the paper, proud of herself. She read over her neat handwriting to see how it all sounded.
Friendship
What is friendship?
If betrayal and cruelty exists, then what good is friendship?
If those who you loved and cared for don't return the feelings and respect your supposed to have for each other, then why do we have loved ones?
If love can transform into pure hate in a matter of mere minutes, then why did love exist in the first place?
If hearts can be broken and feelings be hurt, then why do we have them?
The answer is simple, if you look at it.
Friendship has many meanings. People you are close to. Loved ones. People you care for. People you are willing to back up if you need to. People you can help in times of need.
Love exists to make you feel better. The feeling you have for friends. It's always there to cushion your fall.
But sometimes in this crazy world of ours, we forget friendship. We forget feelings and love and stomp all over each other's. We forget what's important and why we need all these things.
Maybe it's because we're scared or intimidated that we forget these warm feelings and only focus on the bad things. But, how could you survive in the cruel world WITHOUT those feelings? How could you plan to move on without someone to catch you if you fall?
Parvati sighed, setting the paper down and leaning back slightly in her chair. Suddenly, a voice spoke from behind her.
"That was a great poem. Although, it didn't rhyme."
Parvati whipped around, her heart beating quickly. Who was awake at this time along with her?
She turned around to face a certain blonde girlthat she hadn't seen for three weeks.
"Lavender?" she asked, at first curious, then nearly ready to break into battle if she needed to. "Why are you out here? What do you want?"
Lavender looked over at her and smiled sadly. "I came to talk to you. Listen, Parvati, what you said to me really hurt me--"
"Have you ever considered that that's how I feel when you push me around and call me names even if you are 'just joking'? Or when you treat me like the gum under your shoes?" she interrupted, feeling her familiar feeling of anger and power sweep back to her. She WASN'T going to let Lavender steam roll all over her.
"I know that… now. I'm sorry what I said to you hurt you, Parvati. But, you have to admit you WERE acting a little bratty--"
"Bratty?" Parvati barely managed to whisper angrily. "What's bratty about telling you I wanted you to treat me better than you were?!"
"You can't really deny that that was sort of a demanding command--"
"Well, YOU can't deny that you don't treat me like a friend all the time! I mean, you put Treacle Tart in my hair once, and the time you 'accidently' set Bogeys on me in Charms. Not to mention the time you told Dean that I wanted to marry him, I mean, what the heck was THAT ONE about? AND--"
Lavender suddenly took her friend into her arms and hugged her tightly. Parvati stopped talking, at first taken slightly aback, but then hugged Lavender back, both swaying slightly with their arms around each other in forgiveness.
"I know," she said, squeezing Parvati for a second. "I just want my old friend back, ok? I'm sorry."
Parvati smiled. "That's all I wanted to hear you say. I forgive you."
So both friends stood there for a while, enjoying the quiet and forgiveness and the sound of rain falling against the window pane.
So, broken friendships COULD be mended. But only if the friend was a real friend. And, rest assured, Lavender and Parvati were ALWAYS real friends to each other.