Nya's Pov.
I'm sitting on my bed, again feeling very distressed. Three months since Jay. Three months and a week since Zane. I have tried to rebuild him, but nothing could ever be as good as the old Zane/ Three months and two weeks since…since Kai. It's so, so hard. After they died I was a self-harmer for a while. But Misako helped me and talked me out of it. I still have the scars.
I try to read the Bible, but I can't bring myself to do it all the time. I am too depressed and in too much spiritual pain.
I haven't seen Lloyd in forever. He stays in his room all the time. Sometimes I hear him cry out in agony. I wince every time. Once I heard the sound of metal scraping against something, and then glass shatter. Then…nothing. I tried to open the door but it was locked tight. It made me so upset that he was all alone and I had never tried to help him with his grief. This was partially my fault. This is part of the reason I became a self-harmer.
Cole just sits doing nothing. He is very depressed and never says a word. Luckily he is a ghost so can't self-harm. Though he has never even tried. He has more sense than me.
Sensei and Misako try to comfort us with avail. Misako has tried so many times to reach Lloyd but it has never worked. He's gone out a couple times and doesn't come back for hours or even days. I try not to care, we've grown apart since… Since the deaths. But I can't help but worry about him sneaking out. I'm afraid he'll commit suicide.
-Nya
I ended my journal entry. This was my life. Sighing I hopped off my bed and reluctantly pulled out my Bible. I piece of paper slipped out of the back of the Bible. I read it. It had a few verses on it. Misako had given me a list of verses that could help me.
Psalm 9:9-10 The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord have not forsaken those who seek you.
Then I turned to Psalm 23:1-2-3. The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.
These verses were comforting. I'm gonna try doing something I haven't done in a while. Pray. I took a deep breath. "Dear God, please help me, I need your help more than anything. You are the only one who can help me. In the grief I became a self-harmer. But I didn't try to go to you for help. I also want to pray for Lloyd. He is doing the worst Lord.I'm afraid that he may commit suicide. Help him Lord, please!" I said and at the last part my voice began to quiver. Then I just broke down and started crying.
Misako's Pov.
I was getting ready to make dinner for Cole, Nya and Wu, and perhaps Lloyd. I wish he would for once come out of his room. I don't know how he survives anymore. He barely eats. I haven't seen him since two months ago.
As I got out the stuff to make dumplings I heard crying from the other room. I think it was from Nya. I walked to Nya's room and knocked on the door. I heard her sniff and she told me to come in. She was laying on her bed crying her eyes out. I came over and sat on her bed next to her. "Hey Nya. What's wrong honey?" I asked. She continued to sob but answered,
"Lloyd…he…" I panicked because I already knew how dangerous my son was and I didn't want him to hurt Nya, who had become like a daughter to me.
"Lloyd? What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?" I asked quickly. Nya shook her head violently.
"No. He hasn't done anything to me. It's what he may be doing to himself. I'm so afraid he's doing self-harm like I was, and…He might try suicide. I just don't know what to do anymore! I'm lost!" she cried. My eyes brimmed with tears. She's been trying so hard. She lost her friend, brother and boyfriend. Now Lloyd is doing this. He's caused her so much pain, and he's never tried to make it right. I'm angry with him and at the same time sad for him. He isn't saved.
"Oh Nya! I don't want him to do it either! And think about how I feel as his mother. I love him so much and it would be unbearable to lose him too. And what do you do when you are lost? You pray. We need to pray for him Nya. He isn't saved and so many of his loved ones are dead. This is all terrible, but God had it all planned, and he is testing us to see if we will trust him even in times of trouble. Just pray Nya. It's all we can do," I told her. She nodded.
"I understand Misako. I will pray him. And I already have. And I will go to God when I feel lost. I haven't been doing that lately and I should. Thank you for the talk. I really needed it," she said wiping the tears off her face. I hugged her.
"You're welcome Nya. Any time you need someone to talk to, I'll be there," I said. I left her room and walked out. As I walked out I pulled up my sleeve. They were still there. Five large scars went up and down my arm. Nya's not the only one who went through things like this…