Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy the R/S goodness :)
.
.
.
.
The Longest Time
The Gryffindor common room was in a dripping wet, ruddy-faced, exceedingly delighted uproar.
"…and then I saw Rickley – stupid, fat bloke, dunno how his broom can hold him up in the first place – and he had seen the snitch, you see, only because it flew right in front of his face, the useless bastard…." said James Potter as he recounted his magnificent steal from the Slytherin team that won Gryffindor the match. He downed the last few gulps of his butterbeer, and at once someone from his small group of admirers shoved another one into his hands before he realized he had run out of the first one. "…dove right after him, though I shouldn't have bothered hurrying since he fumbled it anyway – blighter's got fingers fat as sausages, you know…." James' voice carried over the tumult of the room, crowded with ecstatic Gryffindors celebrating their latest Quidditch victory. Despite the many-colored streamers hanging haphazardly about the place and the fire crackers ricocheting with dazzling sparks off the walls, one young Gryffindor sat grouchily in a corner, determined to not enjoy the frivolity.
Half hidden by a germanium plant, Sirius Black slouched moodily in a plushy red armchair, feeling determinably irritable. It wasn't that he was unhappy about their victory, and it wasn't that he was tired or hungry or anxious about his upcoming Potions essay, or that he had somehow acquired his sixth detention in a month just earlier that day; in fact, he couldn't entirely put his finger on what exactly he was so irritated about, but there was the distinct erratic beat of his heart and the mild itch beneath his skin that indicated that, yes, he had to be angry about something. And that something was one of his best friends who was currently sitting across the room.
Completely unaware that he was the recipient of an unfaltering death glare, Remus Lupin sat by the fire, chatting amiably with a group of pretty girls. Never as loud or as obnoxious as the other Marauders, he still managed to attract an impressive amount of intention from the school's female population despite his casual insistence to the contrary. Back behind his germanium plant, Sirius noticed with a scowl that one particularly dashing brunette had finally found an excuse to rest her hand on Remus' knee before giggling vacantly in his ear. Almost immediately, Sirius felt the temperature of his blood rise about three degrees. That bloody, backstabbing wanker, thought Sirius to himself. That girl's mine! I snogged her myself last winter, and he should know to keep his bloody hands off a mate's past conquests. He should know I've been planning to ask out Melinda again… Sirius frowned to himself. Wait, not Melinda… er…Margaret. Megara. Madeline? He fumbled through a list of names for a full minute and realized that he couldn't remember the girl's name, and soon a quiet, rather irksome voice in the back of his head reminded him cheekily that he didn't intent to ask her out again at all. Well, so what if I don't remember her name! She was still mine, and he should know better than to sit there and… and… Sirius growled lowly and decided that even if Remus wasn't technically doing anything wrong, it was still annoying him. It was the principle of it, after all.
And what's he doing wearing that stupid, well-fitting set of robes anyway, continued Sirius in his head. He's just showing off that he's more fit now than he was a few years ago, as if anyone even cares. I bet no one even notices that he's taller or has got broad shoulders or… or… whatever!
He conveniently forgot for the moment that the robes in question had been a gift to Remus from himself, James, and Peter last Christmas after the young werewolf quietly admitted that his parents couldn't afford new robes for him. Sirius also conveniently forgot that it was he himself who badgered Remus into wearing that set more frequently because they all knew he looked damn good in them.
By now, the pretty brunette had her arm draped casually through Remus', though he didn't seem to notice as he animatedly discussed something with the other girls. Sirius caught snippets of "…and they found a whole herd of bowtruckles living together….head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures had to…really extraordinary for their species, you know…" Sirius snorted. Leave it to Remus to bore a group of fantastically fit girls half to death with news about bowtruckles! He chuckled mildly to himself as he decided that Remus was probably not a likely contender for the affections of girls, and was rather surprised when he found himself just as irritated as he was before.
As Sirius sat wondering darkly about this, James passed off his butterbeer to Gryffindor's Keeper, Raphael Billings, and sauntered over to where his best friend sat, lost in his thoughts. He smacked Sirius heartily on the back.
"Oi, Pads!! What you doing sitting here with your head in the shrubbery? You sick or something?"
Sirius jumped slightly, startled. "What? Oh… no… just… you know… scoping the room for girls and all that."
"Brilliant!" James practically yelled, barely noticing that Sirius had already forgotten about him and had gone back to staring intensely across the room. "Want to come back with me then? I can introduce you to a few who look really desperate!"
"Oh, erm… yeah, cool. No problem, just put it back when you're done," replied Sirius absently.
"What? Put what back?"
"I don't care, somewhere in the cupboard."
James frowned. He bent over a fraction behind Sirius' armchair and leveled his gaze with that of his gloomily staring friend only to find himself peering through the scattered crowd at a smiling Remus. James straightened abruptly and swatted Sirius on the back of the head.
"Ow!"
"You staring at Remus this whole time?" asked James, completely oblivious to the fact that his friend had now fixed his intense, gray-eyed glare at him. "You mad or something?"
Sirius felt a faint fizzle in his head, as if a fuse had shorted, and he slammed his clenched fists quite un-dramatically into the arms of his squishy chair.
"NO, James, I'm NOT mad, I just want to be bloody left alone. Is that too much to ask!?"
"Don't need to get all testy, I was just asking…" replied James, surprised and a little put out.
Sirius sighed and rubbed his temple, which was now throbbing a bit. "Sorry mate, didn't mean to snap at you. Think I'll just go upstairs and… rest a bit. Too crowded in here."
And with that, Sirius stood and left a perplexed James behind. Still scowling, he made a bee-line for the stairs and muttered darkly whenever he bumped someone or trod on someone's trailing robes. He reached the first step and looked back to cast one last angry glare at Remus, who was still parked lazily by the fire. In a glance, Sirius noticed the way in which the red glow from the flames caught the auburn in Remus' hair and danced playfully – fetchingly – across the strong line of his jaw and the length of his neck. With a sudden, indeliberate intake of breath, Sirius found his eyes wandering to the top of Remus' shirt, which was unbuttoned three rungs from the top, with his dark tie loosened and trailing down… Sirius shook himself abruptly, and – as suddenly as it came – the thought was gone. He turned swiftly and stomped up the flight of stone steps. Entering his room, he slammed the door behind him and threw himself down on his bed. Cursing to himself, Sirius kicked off his shoes and stretched out across his maroon coverlets. What's the matter with me? thought Sirius. He tried intently to steady his rapidly beating heart, but for some reason, all he could think about was that lovely girl wrapping her arms around Remus' neck; he imagined her warm breath ghosting across Remus' cheek, and her fingers intertwining delicately in Remus' own. Sirius felt a sharp pang in his chest, as if a cold and joyless hand were clenching his heart with icy fingers. Unbidden, an image of Remus floated across his vision, this time unaccompanied by the pretty brunette. Messy, light brown hair and amber eyes that burned like burnished gold in the moonlight; tall and inflexible, broad shoulders and a strong chest that tapered down to slender hips, large hands that possessed a hidden strength, powerful enough to tear a man's limbs off… Sirius' brain started to go fuzzy, and before he could even begin to interpret these very strange and wholly unwelcome thoughts, he heard the click of the door opening.
Flushed, Sirius bolted upright in his bed to see Remus standing in the arched doorway, his hands in his pockets. Immediately, all the irritation and anger he had felt downstairs rushed back into his veins as if someone had opened a floodgate of treacherous poison. His utter confusion at this whole mess only fueled his frustration.
"So, finally finished running your hands all over my girl, have you?" spat Sirius venomously.
Remus blinked. "Your girl, is she? You haven't spoken to her in a year, and all of a sudden she's your girl?"
"Course she is, you stupid git!" replied Sirius, his teeth clenched. "She was mine, and you're fooling around with her. You're a dirty traitor, you are!"
"What are you playing at, Sirius? We both know you don't even remember her name!"
"That's a lie!"
"Gone on, then, what's her name?"
"Well… I – it's…" sputtered Sirius pointlessly. "Who cares what her name is! Point is, she's mine and you need to stay away from her!"
But that wasn't right… Sirius wasn't thinking of the girl at all. He ignored this contradiction resolutely and slid off his bed, facing Remus with his feet planted and his shoulders stiffened in a rapidly stewing ill temper.
Remus shook his head slowly, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "All right, Pads, I dunno what you've been eating lately, but clearly it's not doing you any good. James told me to come up here and check on you – said you were being moody or summat – but I think I'd rather leave you to your mindless huffing and puffing until you're ready to be sensible. I'll be downstairs." He turned on his heel and prepared to walk out the door. Just as his hand touched the brass doorknob, he felt a heavy blow hit the back of his head, jarring him. Spinning around, Remus saw his fuming friend with his arm raised. Sirius had just thrown a boot at him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" yelled Remus.
Gray eyes flashing, Sirius advanced on his incredulous friend and jabbed a finger into the other boy's chest. "YOU – ARE – A – BLOODY – WANKER!" growled Sirius loudly through gritted teeth. He didn't completely comprehend why his knees suddenly felt weak or why his heart fluttered against his chest, but he was absolutely certain that the blood pounding in his ears meant that he was furious with the boy standing in front of him, and that Remus deserved to have the stuffing knocked out of him.
Though normally slow to anger, Remus did not appreciate the finger jabbing into his chest, nor his friend's seemingly pointless antagonism. He knocked Sirius' hand out of the way. "DON'T jab me! I'm warning you, Sirius!"
"Warning me, are you!? What, you going to read me to death, you harmless git?" Sirius jabbed his finger into Remus' chest a fourth time.
"No, but I have no qualms about throttling you, if you don't stop being such a huge, bloody, prat!" By now, Remus was backed up almost to the door, with Sirius looming like a large, raging thundercloud in his face. "Touch me again, and I swear I'll hurt you, Sirius!"
With a barking laugh, Sirius spat out a contemptuous "YEAH RIGHT!" before reaching out to shove his friend violently into the door. Both boys heard the resounding crack that Remus' skull made against the solid wood and the small gasp of pain that followed.
Sirius froze and knew immediately that he had gone too far. The silence in the room swelled like a horrible, sick bubble, punctuated only by heavy breathing and the quiet rustle of the curtains as the cool night air swirled into the room. Slowly, Remus reached behind him to feel the back of his head, and when he drew his hand away, Sirius felt ill to see his friend's fingers smeared with blood.
The two boys stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Finally, after what felt like a very painful few hours, Sirius summoned his forgotten voice. "Look… Rem… I didn't mean to –" But he never got to finish.
With a roar, Remus launched himself at Sirius, a wild, nearly feral fire in his amber eyes that matched the intensity of his fists.
"OOF!" Sirius barely had time to register what was happening before he felt his back hit the ground and the weight of his immeasurably strong friend on top of him.
Sirius took a ferocious punch to the nose and felt the rush of hot blood splatter against his face; his vision was filled with a furious Remus, who was pummeling him repeatedly everywhere he could reach. Sirius thought dazedly, as stars erupted behind his eyes, that he was certainly no match for a werewolf and that he was a damned fool for provoking his friend in the first place. This scattered thought was rapidly forgotten, however, as the blind fury rushed back once more. As Remus raised his fist for yet another vicious punch, Sirius grabbed hold of the brief relief and gave a great, heaving shove. Grunting, Remus landed hard on his side, and Sirius wasted no time in seizing the other boy's collar in order to bang him repeatedly into the hard floor.
Blinded somewhat by sweat and blood and his impossible hair, Sirius laughed humorlessly to himself that this was the single most ridiculous situation he had ever been in. He often got into playful wrestling matches with his friends, but this – this outrageous and completely bizarre war – was perhaps the funniest and stupidest thing to happen all year – and with Remus of all people! Still, he wouldn't go down without a damn good fight.
"BREAK MY NOSE, WILL YOU!? TAKE THAT!" yelled Sirius furiously and he swung his fist into Remus' jaw.
"BLOODY WANKER, I'LL KILL YOU!" screamed Remus as he wrapped his fingers around Sirius throat and thrashed him to and thro violently.
Sputtering and trying to pry himself out of the werewolf's steely grip, Sirius reeled backward and crashed into a bedpost.
"ARRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!"
Sirius saw Remus flying at him and dived sideways to avoid the impact. He kicked out blindly and felt a satisfying thunk as his foot connected with Remus' shin, knocking the other boy to the floor with a heavy smash. Sirius scrambled to his feet, only to dive once more with a fierce battle cry.
Somehow, both boys ended up on their feet amongst the wild thrashing and punching. Sirius heard a few lamps crash to the floor as Remus grabbed him by the shirt and flung him across the room. He stumbled over someone's trunk and heard it fall over and spill open as he thudded into a cabinet. The world spun as Remus came at him again, and Sirius suddenly felt the other boy pressed against him, felt Remus' strong fingers wrap around his wrists and slam them into the wall. He struggled desperately to free himself, but a strange something deep in his stomach didn't want to fight, wanted instead to stay pinned against the wall by this tall, golden-haired boy. Sirius noticed crazily that Remus' tie had come off in the struggle and that his shirt – now ripped in several places – hung off of one shoulder, exposing a sculpted and tanned chest that gleamed with a thin layer of sweat. Eyes wild and chest heaving, Sirius felt his skin burn like fire where Remus was touching him, and found himself thinking fervently that this was exactly where he wanted to be, at that moment, in this room, with this savage, furious, and hauntingly gorgeous boy that was so close Sirius could feel the rapid thud of his heart just a few inches away from his own. And suddenly, inexplicably – Sirius was jolted with a stunning clarity that nearly knocked him off his feet. Of course…all this time… and it was him, always. Guided by the adrenaline racing through his blood, Sirius clambered past the fear that was clawing at his insides, leaned forward, and crashed his lips against Remus'.
The whole world stilled, and Sirius felt like every particle of his body was being absorbed into the air, like there was no difference now between him, Remus, and the musty, impenetrable night. The kiss seemed to go on for hours and hours until, finally, Remus pulled away ever so slowly. Sirius summoned the courage to open his eyes and found himself staring into a intense, amber gaze that was unreadable. Breathing hard, Sirius gulped and stared back.
"So…" Remus started, taking the time to test his words before he said them. "This is what it's all about then."
"Yeah… I reckon it might be," said Sirius, cursing the unsteadiness in his voice. Damn, damn, damn, I've ruined everything.
The grip on Sirius' wrists loosened, and he thought wildly that this was it. It's all over. Remus hates me, and he'll never forgive me for this. Damn, damn, DAMN, I'm so stupid! Bloody hell, just kill me now.
And then, to his extreme surprise, Remus let out a great sigh and leaned forward to rest his forehead gently against Sirius'. "You could have just said something."
"I didn't know," whispered Sirius. "Not until tonight."
Remus smirked. "Well, now that you've gotten it figured out, will you stop acting like such a prat?"
"Maybe. If you stop letting all those daft girls touch you."
"I can't guarantee anything, but I'll try."
"You wanker," growled Sirius, pushing a grinning Remus away slightly. "You put me through hell tonight, and you say you'll try?"
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Pads. You know I was only ever yours."
And somehow, Sirius did know. He had known it all along.
A sudden pounding of footsteps and voices sounded from outside the door, and the two boys sprang apart. The door flew open, and James Potter burst into the room.
"GUYS, you won't bel– " James froze and his jaw dropped as he took in the carnage and the sight of his two best mates standing awkwardly, covered in sweat and blood and tattered clothes. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED IN HERE!?"
Sirius opened his mouth to offer some excuse, but Remus beat him to it.
"Just a bit of a disagreement, Prongsy, so need to worry."
"A bit of a disagreement!? Are you… are you bleeding!?"
"Ah well, you know…" said Remus casually. "Slight scuffle and all that."
As James stuttered incoherently and moved about the room while righting overturned furniture, Sirius glanced over and caught Remus' eye. The two boys shared a mischievous grin, and Sirius felt his heart throb wondrously against his chest. He couldn't remember feeling so weightless in all his life. He shook himself out of his reverie in time to catch the end of James' question.
"...sorted everything out then, have you?"
"Sure Prongs," said Sirius, recalling the perfect sensation of Remus' lips pressed against his. "We've sorted it all out, though it took the longest time."