Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Warning: Contains spoilers of the war.
Hello Everyone,
This is just a side project I thought about while writing Kunoichi's Burden: Village First, I hope you enjoy it and please leave your thought, comment, or concerns as reviews. Thanks for you time!
~L.H.
Haruno Sakura was accomplished in many ways. She saw the way her fellow medics looked at her with eyes full of admiration whenever she took to the battlefield. Their eyes would widen at the fact she could remotely heal hundreds at once. They marveled at her poise and display of strength in the face of the enemy.
All they saw was her face set in a firm line of determination and her unbending resolve to never give up. In their eyes she refused to stop believing in her teammates and to a lesser extent in herself. Naruto and Sasuke could accomplish many things separately but when they were together they were unbeatable. And she believed that with all her heart.
She had promised her master that she would not fall behind her boys. She would stand tall, shoulder to shoulder with them. And she was true to her word. She had saved countless lives and protected those who were in no position to protect themselves. She healed everyone she touched with her chakra. She kept moral up and she motivated the troops.
She was truly a sight to see. But what the medics and her allies failed to recognize was the fact she was dead inside. She had inherited her master's jutsus, fighting style, temper, and unfortunately her notorious luck.
Sakura was a legendary sucker in her own right. She only managed to fall in love with men that she could never have.
Sasuke would never see her the way she had once wanted him too. No matter how much she had grown, gotten stronger, she would always be a weak, fragile genin in his eyes. Sakura could never do enough to make him acknowledge her the way he acknowledged Naruto.
He had flat out rejected her the moment she had confessed to him at the tender age of thirteen. Her love for him was not enough to keep the boy grounded. Her love was not strong enough to drown out his need for power, for revenge.
His betrayal of Konoha had devastated her. She thought that she would never be happy again. She was convinced that her heart would never heal from the blow he had dealt. Sakura was always an overly emotional person who had strong notions about love and happiness. Sasuke's rejection of her had crushed her. He had left her hollow and broken on the inside. He had shattered her childish fantasies about love surmounting all odds.
But she had gotten over him. It took a lifetime's worth of tears and pain but her feelings for him had been reduced to a dull ache instead of a gaping hole that threatened to end her. She had pulled herself to her feet with the help of her blonde, energetic teammate. The same teammate that she had shunned and hurt over and over again, and in that regard she was no better than the cruel Uchiha.
When she was around Naruto she found that she did not need to force the smile on her face. She was genuinely happy with the boy. He made her feel special, safe, and comfortable. Her need for his presence grew until it was as necessary as her next breath. He was so careful of her feelings and she could never have thought that he would reject her too.
Naruto had refused to acknowledge her confession as genuine and it had shattered her all over again. He had left her just as broken as the Uchiha had. But the worst part was that she had fallen harder for the blonde.
Sasuke did not integrate himself into her life the way Naruto had. The blonde would walk her home after her shift at the hospital, would take her for ramen after missions, he would visit her at odd hours of the day, and he had made it his mission to make her smile. All of that stopped after her confession partly because he was still hurt from her attempt to "manipulate" his feelings. But she had meant every word.
Didn't the blonde see that she did love him? Didn't he see that her awkward words were not a product of dishonesty but a result of her crippling fear of rejection? Didn't he see that she could not even put into words how much he meant to her? Didn't he realize that he had become more important to her than Sasuke could ever be? How could he have not known her true feelings? After all, he claimed to know her better than she knew herself.
Naruto had destroyed her but she kept a bright smile on her face for his sake. She had hurt him for years so she could not blame him for being suspicious. She kept smiling through her broken heart for ten years. She kept her feelings for him locked away and carried about her duty.
The war had taken her mind of her heart ache. She had a job to do and she could not afford distractions. The war had helped her get over the blonde too. Her feelings were still there but they were no longer a raging wave. Her feelings for him had dulled to soft ripples on the surface of a pound.
It was during the war that she had fallen again. But this time she knew she had no chance. The man she had fallen for was dead. He was nothing more than a empty husk of himself and perhaps it was that fact that attracted her to him. Physically they both were at their peak but on the inside they were empty. They felt nothing but pain and hurt.
He was only "alive" as the product of a forbidden justu. He was resurrection due to the edo tensei but she had fallen for him anyway. Namikazi Minato had taken her heart and Sakura hated herself for it.
She had been fighting alongside the man since she was fifteen. She had been in the trenches with him for ten years. It was understandable that she would develop a comradeship with him but what she felt was more than that. She loved him. Right or wrong, she loved him.
But she was nothing in his eyes. She was a mere child and even though he was technically only three years older than her, she would always be child in his eyes. And what was worse, he was under the impression that she was in a relationship with his son. She was nothing more than his son's girlfriend and that drove her mad. He plunged a dagger deeper and deeper into her heart every time he so much as glanced at her.
She knew that she could never have him. It was painfully obvious to her that Minato wanted nothing more than to finish the war and to be reunited with his wife. His love for Kushina ran so deep that even their deaths had not dampened Minato's feelings for her. She knew that every time the man looked at his son his heart broke a little.
He had told her that she reminded him of his wife. And it wrenched her gut how sad he had looked when he had said that. He missed her, he really missed her.
He was unattainable. He could never return her feelings because his heart belonged to another. Her heart broke for him whenever she caught him staring at Naruto or her. Her heart also broke for her because she knew that no one would ever love her the way Minato loved Kushina.
She was dead inside because all that she's ever wanted was to be loved. The first man she loved had broken her so thoroughly that it took everything to put her together. Her second love was stronger than her first so naturally the heartbreak was twice as bad. She lost her smile and laughter the day Naruto refused her. But she fell the hardest the third time around. It was her fault that she fell but that knowledge did nothing to soften the blow.
She could not bring herself to confess to the Forth. Confessing her feelings would be too traumatic and she could not put the Forth in a position to feel pity for her. He was too kind to do something so deplorable to him.
He broke what remained of her heart by simply smiling at her. In his mind he was reassuring a fellow Konoha nin that the war would be won but to Sakura it was a reminder of what she could never have. She would never have happiness with this man. She would never be held the way she wanted. She was cursed to live the rest of her days without love. Just like her master.
And like Tsunade she would not let herself fall for another. Her heart was too damaged and broken to give away. She was so broken that she had resorted to feeding her pain to her inner conscious. The once fiery, confident voice in her head was nothing more than a wallowing fragment of her former self. Inner Sakura took the entire pain and heart ache so Sakura could continue to function. She had become the ultimate shinobi. She no longer felt anything. She was just a numb, robotic version of herself.
Her fellow medics saw what they interpreted as poise but in reality it was lack of fear. She no longer feared death. She had nothing left to lose.
The other medics saw her resolve to never give up but Sakura wished she was that steadfast. Many a time she had simply thought about giving up but she respected Naruto too much to dwell on it long. She owed it to the blonde to help as many people as she could. She still wanted him to be happy. And she knew that his happiness would not include her.
The others saw her as Tsunade's successor. She had learned all her master could teach her and Sakura had surpassed the legendary sannin. She had surpassed her in terms of power, intelligence, stamina, chakra control, medical prowess, but she had also surpassed her in heart break and loneliness.
Sakura was a far more broken woman than her master ever was. She had finally gained the respect of her fellow shinobi but it came at the expense of her ideals, her goals, and her happiness.
She would go down in the history books as one of the strongest and bravest. She would become a legend. Her feats would inspire generations of kunoichi and medics. She would be remembered fondly by the future generations. But the books and storied would fail to mention that she was also the most hollow, broken and miserable. They would depict Sakura the shinobi perfectly but they would completely ignore Sakura the woman.
Sakura the medic kept pressing on admirably but Sakura the woman was forgotten. She had died years ago.