A/N: I won't bother you long, just a short disclaimer; I own nothing of this; never have, never will.
"I'll dive and try to get her leg off of that log." My brother said, taking a deep breath and disappearing under surface before I could tell him to be careful. As the situation was what it was, I continued what I had been doing; making sure Daisy's head stayed above the surface.
Suddenly Daisy was free and began to swim towards the shore helped by Bofur, who was handling the rope tied to the bridle Daisy was still wearing. My satisfaction for mission complete turned quickly to anxiety, as I realized that my brother had failed to get back to surface. Without a moment's hesitation I dived after him.
The world under the surface was almost pitch-black, so there was no hope that I would be able to see anything. Because of that I spread my arms as wide as I could, hoping against hope that I would find him, basically being blind underwater.
Something brushed against the back of my hand, something like wet fabric. Turning to my right as fast as I could I searched for the cause of that sensation.
Then I found it. And as I grabbed it as tightly as I could, I recognized what it was: a hand.
Great relief surged through my whole body at this recognition.
I had found him.
But now I faced another problem.
The dark, pressing mass of water was all around us, and I no longer had any idea of what way was up and what was down. Running low on air, I had to choose a direction and pray to Mahal that I chose right.
Breaking free from the current cost a lot of my strength, as I had to drag his dead weight along, but eventually I managed to do it and proceeded to swim into the direction I was currently facing.
Darkness around us showed no signs of fading, but I had no choice but to keep going. The lack of air made it sure that turning back was not an option. Every muscle in my body hurt, reminding me of the fact that I was running out of time.
My heart sank as I met the river bottom.
No. No, no, no. Why, Mahal, why?
At least I now knew for sure what way was up and, even though that knowledge came too late, I still kicked the river bottom, turning my movement towards the surface.
My head said that the game was over now, that this was the end, yet my heart refused to give up.
Then reflex took triumph over reason, and I couldn't stop myself from inhaling a lungful of water.
The pain that followed was paralyzing. It started as burning feeling in my lungs and only seconds later the pain was in my head, like hundreds and hundreds of sharp knives struck in my head.
The last thing I felt before darkness took me was my brother's hand slipping from my grip.
OoOoO
Coughing up water hurt. It hurt a lot.
"That's it, Fíli. Just cough it all up."
Suddenly my coughing turned first into retching and then gasping for air.
"Good, lad, breathe in."
Forcing my eyes open I was met by a familiar set of icy blue eyes belonging to Uncle Thorin. He was soaking wet and, though his eyes were filled with worry, he sighed in relief when our eyes met.
"How're you feeling?" He asked, his voice betraying the storm of feelings he kept hidden from his face.
"Whe-where's Kíli?" I asked, having mind only for my brother, who I had failed to save.
Uncle wasn't quite able to prevent himself from glancing sideways and, turning my head so that I could see what he was looking at, I saw soaked-to-the-bone wet Dwalin carrying lifeless form of…
"KÍLI!"
From where I got the strength to get up was beyond my knowledge, but wherever that strength came from, I was on my knees next to Kíli as soon as Dwalin laid him down.
"Kíli…" I whispered, cradling his upper body on my lap. Kíli's face was pale, apart from reddish, horse-shoe shaped cut on the left side of his forehead, and his lips were tinged with blue.
"Kíli", I repeated myself, slightly louder this time. "Wake up, brother."
But he didn't.
"Kíli, wake up!" I repeated again, panicky edge in my voice, and shook my brother's lifeless body, to no avail.
Then someone pulled me away from him, and panic took its hold of me.
"No! Let go of me! Kíli! WAKE UP KÍLI!"
"Hush, it's alright, lad." I heard Uncle's voice saying. "Let Óin take care of your brother."
"NO, LET GO OF ME! LET ME GO TO HIM! KÍLI, WAKE UP!" I screamed, fighting against Uncle's strong hands. I almost managed to escape his hold, but at the last possible moment he managed to grab me again.
"Dwalin", Uncle's voice came out as a strained grunt as he was trying to pin me down again. Dwalin came as called upon, and soon I was held down by two sturdy Dwarves who had both had well over twice the time I had had to build up their strength. My newly found strength disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared, and I stopped both screaming and fighting against Dwalin and Uncle. This left me none other choices than to watch helplessly as Óin tried to revive Kíli.
In the end I closed my eyes, unable to watch how Óin seemed to fail try after try in his efforts to get Kíli breathing again. I could feel tears spilling on my cheeks through my eyelids, but I couldn't find strength in me to care.
Please, Aulë, don't take him away from me.
I had never thought what life without Kíli would be. Yes, I was five years older, but for me it had for long seemed that those five years before Kíli's birth didn't exist. We had been together always, one could never be found without the other. The thought of Kíli dying, it was… I was the older one, for Mahal's sake! I was supposed to die first, when my face was all wrinkles and hair grey. This wasn't supposed to happen!
"Please, Kíli", I whispered, "don't leave me. Don't go where I can't follow."
I had positively no idea how much time had passed since I had seen Dwalin carry Kíli away from the river, but suddenly the sound of coughing and spluttering broke the relative silence. Snapping my eyes open I saw that Kíli had rolled – or had been rolled – to his side and was now emptying his lungs of water.
Relief surged through me for the second time that day, and before neither Dwalin nor Uncle Thorin could stop me, I broke free from their grip and ran to my brother's side.
"Kíli? Kíli, can you hear me? Open your eyes, please."
Kíli coughed a few more times before calming down and blinking his eyes open. His gaze was tangled at first but focused soon enough.
"Hey", he said, giving me a small smirk.
Fighting down a sob I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug and buried my face in his wet hair.
"Never scare me like that again, you hear me?" I said, my voice muffled by Kíli's hair.
The immense relief I felt made me oblivious to everything else around me, even Kíli's reply. All I could think of was that Kíli was alive, that I hadn't lost him after all.
"How're you feeling, Kíli?" Uncle's question brought me back to the present.
"I'm fine." Kíli replied.
"Are you sure?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Well, my head does hurt a little, but really, I'm fine."
"How does it hurt?"
Kíli shot me an annoyed look and tapped the cut on his forehead.
"I don't know if you have heard, but getting hit to the head by a pony does hurt." He replied in a tone I recognized as fake-irritation.
A small smile found its way on my face. If Kíli was joking already, he was really going to be just fine.
OoOoO
For the rest of the day I never left Kíli's side. The fear of losing him was still too fresh in my mind for me to be completely at ease. When the night came I set my bedroll a little closer to Kíli's than normally, but he said nothing. Only when everyone else was asleep he took the matter up.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly.
"Nothing", I replied, far too quickly to be believable at all. Kíli sensed this and turned to face me, leaning on his elbow so that his upper body was little higher.
"Don't lie to me, Fíli. Normally it's me clinging onto you all the time, not the other way around, so I ask again, what's wrong?"
I bit my lip, unwilling to answer for doing it would bring back the horrid memories from just a few hours earlier.
"Fíli…" Kíli whispered, his voice gentle but demanding.
"I thought that I lost you." I whispered back, not looking at him.
Barely audible "oh" told me that Kíli had realized what I was talking about. Of course it'd be easier for him to leave those events behind when he hadn't seen what I had. He hadn't faced the panic I had gone through.
"Your face was pale your lips blue", I whispered, "and you wouldn't wake up. I thought… I thought…"
"Hey, it's alright. I'm right here, am I not?"
"But for how long?" I asked, turning to look Kíli in the eye. "We've barely made it out of Shire… and we should face a dragon."
He said nothing, but I didn't even expect him to.
"Come here." He said, rolling back onto his back.
Appreciating the irony of how our roles seemed to have switched after today's incident, I inched closer until I was right next to Kíli and we wrapped our arms around each other.
"I'm sorry." I whispered quietly.
"For what?"
"I'm your older brother. I should protect you from any harm. And I failed today."
"You've failed nothing."
"But –"
"You've failed nothing." Kíli repeated. "And I'm the one who should be sorry."
"You?" I asked. "Whatever for?"
"If I had hold onto Daisy's leash like I should have instead of just tying it off, and loosely for that matter, nothing of this would've happened."
"It's not your fault. None of us could've foreseen her bolting."
"Then I should've been more careful when trying to free her from the river. I got hit because of my own foolishness and my foolishness only."
I opened my mouth to object to that, but Kíli beat me to it.
"You've always been there for me, Fíli, but we're both of age now. It's only a matter of time when comes the day you weren't. You can't protect me forever."
I can still try. I thought, squeezing Kíli a little tighter.
And I would. I certainly would try.
Today had been far too close call.