Written for FicDirectory's Glee Family Fic Week.
Word count: 1,957
A/N: I wrote this for me and it is slightly autobiographical.
All mistakes are mine. I don't own Glee.
"Hey, look! It's my toe in the water." - Me
Santana walked into the living room to find her younger brother, Santiago, watching TV. She noted that he really was just staring at the flat-screen and not paying attention to the show playing. He's been doing that a lot lately. Hasn't fucking laughed at any of the funny shit How I Met Your Mother has to offer. Sigh. What's going on in that head of yours, little brother? Oh yeah, I remember now…
Santana made her way to her brother and sat down next to him on the couch. She eyed him carefully. He had been distracted all week and for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why. It wasn't until a few minutes ago that she finally got an answer.
Sighing, Santana spoke, "Puck called me. He told me that Jake had let it slip that you and Kelly had broken up a few days ago." Jake was Puck's younger half-brother and one of Santiago's closest friend. However, Santana held her brother's best friend title since he was born and she was extremely confused as to why her brother wouldn't have come to her after the break. He and Kelly were going out for nearly a year. He really liked her, anyone could see that. They seemed to be getting along just fine. Santiago would even talk about the unforeseeable future with Kelly. The break seemed sudden.
"I don't want to talk about it," Santiago said curtly.
Santana sighed again. If you thought that she was bad at talking about feelings, you have not met her brother.
"Bro, what happened?"
Santiago shifted his eyes from the TV to glare at her before staring at the TV once more. "It's none of your damn business," he answered.
Frustrated, Santana grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.
She watched as Santiago huffed and crossed his arms. He refused to look at her so the two of them sat in silence. Santana would wait him out. It wouldn't be too long before he opened up.
Finally her brother broke the silence, "I just realized that we weren't compatible."
Santana gaped. Weren't compatible?! What the fuck is he talking about? He and Kelly have more in common than most couples I know. They both like football. They both spend their allowances on coffee from the Lima Bean. They both work in the same clothing store. They watch the same shows. They listen to that ridiculous "music" that's just instrumentals and screaming. They have similar humors. They have similar life goals. For crying out loud, Kelly even shares his affinity for Batman apparel!
This makes no sense! Santana shook her head and spoke,"Not compatible? After almost a year, you find out you aren't compatible? I call bullshit." She stared at him intently, "Santiago, what the fuck happened?"
It was Santiago's turn to sigh. He finally looked at his sister and seemed to be thinking of an answer. Once he found the right words he began to explain, "You know how Kelly's family is super religious?" Santana nodded and he continued, "And you know how Kelly had admitted to love you despite your… life choices." From the way he said "life choices," she knew immediately what he was referring to. Shit, please tell me they didn't break up because of me. Santana looked down at her lap and bit her lip. Well that was not what I expected. Fuck.
Santiago and Kelly's relationship almost ended before it started. It turned out that Kelly and her family didn't believe in same-sex marriage. Kelly's family brought Santana up in a bunch of arguments and Santana figured she'd just keep clear of them. But according to Kelly, they weren't completely homophobic. She said that they believed in "loving the sinner and not the sin." It was all crap to Santana. What am I suppose to say to that. Thanks? It really makes me feel SOO much better that despite WHO I AM, you still love me? Very comforting. But she didn't judge. Kelly was a good person. And Santana believed that her family was pressuring her; once she got out from under their thumbs, Kelly wouldn't be as opposed to same-sex marriage as she says she was. Wishful thinking, I suppose. Plus, Santiago really liked her. So if Santiago was happy, Santana would suffer through some obvious tension.
Still staring at her lap, Santana finally spoke, "Did you break up because of me?"
"No!" was Santiago's immediate response. "We broke up because of me."
Slightly relieved but even more confused, Santana lifted her eyes from her lap to look at her brother. "I'm not following."
Santiago rested his head on the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. This was going to be a long conversation and he wanted to be comfortable. He breathed in deeply and exhaled. "After DOMA was recently struck down and same-sex marriage was finally legalized here, one of our managers, James, married his long time partner. He announced the marriage at our last store meeting. We all clapped… well almost all of us. Kelly just sat there…" He sighed and brought his hands up to rub his eyes. "When I asked her why she didn't clap with the rest of us she said, 'why would I clap for something that I don't agree with?'" He threw his hands up in frustration before letting them fall limply at his sides. He looked pained before he continued, "I mean, fuck. How was I supposed to respond to that!?" Santiago looked at Santana for answers. Unfortunately, she didn't have any. "I know you said that you were okay with Kelly's views and we both hoped that her mind would change eventually… but I just. It was shit like that that made me question whether or not it would work out for us in the end."
Santana was shocked. She hadn't said anything in a long time and the uncomfortable silence made her wish that she could find the words to console her brother. But she was at a loss. So she thought it best to just gaze forward. She knew her brother wasn't finished.
Santiago continued to stare at his older sister to try to gauge her reaction, but all he found was a mask of indifference. He grabbed her hand and said, "When you came out to me years ago, I told you that I still loved you for you. You were still my best friend. You are still my best friend. And I was honored that I was the first family member that you told, but I also knew that the 'rents would not have taken it well. And I was right. They didn't talk to you for weeks, but they didn't disown you either. It was a small victory, but we both know they still don't approve. We both know that they still think it's a phase. And I know that despite knowing ahead of time that that was going to be the case, you still have a hard with it all. You feel that they love you less because of it. And you being you would never admit it, but it bothers you."
Once again Santana was shocked into silence. Wh- what the…? She shook her head in disbelief. Of course he knows me better than anyone. I should not be surprised.
"So when Kelly wouldn't clap for James and his husband, I got to thinking. I haven't been very supportive of you." Santana was about to interrupt, but her brother held up the hand not holding hers to stop her. "No, I haven't been. Kelly is just like mami and papi. They 'love you despite your life choices'. And if I'm right about you feeling that the 'rents love you less because of who you are, then I should have figured that you felt the same way about Kelly. But I still believed that we could all get along just fine. That I could date someone who believed that same-sex marriage was wrong while my sister would no doubt marry someone of a the same-sex someday. It's just that you put up with close-minded bigots every day of your life. You deal with complete strangers hating you for what you are labeled. And yet you still give everyone the benefit of the doubt, because you feel it in your heart that they are good people. Maybe a little misguided, but good nonetheless."
Santana had to struggle to keep her tears from falling. Her brother was making her emotional. When the heck did I become such a sap?
"You deal with these people outside our home, but then come home to deal with our family as well. You deal with the 'rents trying to set you up with the 'good catholic boy' and brushing off any girl you bring by. You deal with the fact that Abuela has cut you off for good..." Santiago trailed off at the mention of their Abuela. It'd be an understatement to say that it was a sore subject. Santana had been heartbroken to say the least.
"You're a fighter, Santana. You fought with yourself before you came out. And now it's like you are taking on a world not ready to accept you. Sure not everyone shares the same beliefs as Kelly, Abuela, mami or papi, but it sure as hell feels like the world. Right?" Santana nodded weakly and Santiago smiled slightly. "You're the strongest person I know. Even before you came out, I'd admired you. You are my idol. You are a role model for me and our sisters. I swear that I would not have been able to live through the shit you've been through and the pressure the 'rents have put on you while growing up. And you still came out on top!? It's amazing. You're amazing. And I'm proud to call you my sister and to be your brother."
Santana smiled brightly at that and Santiago returned the smile before turning serious again. "But… I was not proud to have a girlfriend who would not clap for you if you had announced that you got married to another woman."
Santana's face fell, "I know but-"
"No, Santana!" Santiago looked determined as he continued, "Like I said, you're a fighter and the strongest person I know. But I will not add to the things you have to fight with. I will not add to your struggle. I know you hold back at times because you are afraid to hurt Kelly's feelings. I know the fact that her family bad-mouths you despite never meeting you upsets you. And I know you keep some things from me because you are afraid you'd make me uncomfortable simply because of whom I am dating. You're afraid to talk to me because you no longer know where I stand. So I broke up with her for me, because I've finally taken my head out of my ass and realized that I've stood on the line of this fight between you and the world for too long. It's time for me to fully choose a side. It's time for me to show you that this may be your fight against the world, but I'm here for you. I'll stand by your side."
By the time he had finished, Santana was openly crying. It was all true. Life was a constant struggle and she had felt that her brother was slowly leaving her side by dating Kelly. Santiago wrapped his arms around his sister in a tight embrace and whispered, "I am going to be the supportive brother that I should have been. I will be your strength when you need it. I'm in this fight too."
Santana shoulders sagged as if a weight had been lifted.
Thanks, Bro.