BEFORE THE TIME COMES
I.
She sat on the plane and watching through white clouds to she felt stinging eyes and a headache, but she hardly perceived it. She kept swirl her memories in her head.
Five years, and she finally coming home! Her son, who is 17 years old today, regularly attended her during the holidays or public holidays. She lived in Paris and she had a little house on the beach where she spent time with him when he arrived. They always spent a little time in the town and then they went to the beach to escape from city tourism.
Henry still lived in Storybrooke with his biological mother Emma, her husband Killian and his newborn little brother Sebastian. According to Henry´s story Snow and Charming are good too. It seems that the little prince Neal grows to smart and courageous after his daddy and beautiful and headstrong after his mommy. Regina regularly getting a lot of messages and photos by Snow and she is calling her often. They´re talking together about Storybrooke and children, they´re talking about everything and everyone, except one person and his new-found little family. It seems that Regina is really closer with Charming´s and „Hook´s" Joneses family than before despite their distance and that´s 5. 837 kilometers.
She lived in France for five years and despite Mr. Gold bombarded her with messages and with requirements for her return because he had a big problems with someone from the past who called Queen Elsa, she never returned because she had problems with someone from the past too. Well, not exactly problems but she couldn´t stay there. It hurt to much. She never felt so lost like five years ago. She feels lost too but not to much like once. She just had no choice. And then she remembered the last visit Grammy´s.
„Regina, i would like you to meet…" Emma started present to Regina someone who she brought with herself and Hook from the past and who has changed Regina´s life forever in the next few seconds.
„Marian, Marian,…" Robin, her Robin who in this moment stopped to be her Robin, if he ever was, stood up from the table and a little Roland followed him but she didn´t even notice him. Just she whirled and full of surprise looked at the woman who stood infront her… the woman who took away Regina´s second chance for her happy end, if she even didn´t know that.
„Robin,…" Marian seemed suprised like a woman could be when she watched to her husband who she thought she will never see him again or their son. She already lost hope to find him again. She already started get used she will never find her family.
And then all of it happened. Regina saw it, Robin´s look which was full of pain but happiness too and maybe a little confuse and something what Regina couldn´t identify.
Maybe Robin´s forgetting for her. Regina. Maybe he already forgot she still stood there and everything had to watch, feel and perceives how he threw to his wife´s embrace, he helding her so tightly.
„I thought you´re dead, I thought I´d never see you again." The tears of happiness rolled down quickly from Robin´s eyes when he kissed forehead of his wife while she was hiding herself in his arms clutching her little son in her embrace.
„Roland, oh my baby, Roland…"
Regina still sat on the plane and thinking of what happened when she was at home the last time. It was so painful for her. Yes she knew that it´s to long time… five years but still it hurts to much. One tear fell down from her eye and she quicky wiped away from her face. She didn´t want to someone saw her like this on the plane or the stewardess who immediately should ask is she ok and she didn´t want to answer because she isn´t
Regina felt her eyes burned, because her tears were coming but she didn´t let them fell down. She didn´t want to cry and show her weakness… That´s a way she just was. And finally she found enough strenght and she moved. She turned to Emma and her old unreasonable accusations for destroy her happiness which finally she could have, has returned. Happiness which has made from pure, honest, real, beautiful, boundless and imperishable love which she felt the last time so many years ago. It was so long that she actually forgot what is the feel is it.
„You… You did this?" Regina´s voice was odly broken but when Emma defended by wanted just save her life, her voice started to be a little stronger: „You just like your mother. Never thinking of consequences." And then Regina felt it. Her rage for this Miss Savior who always knows everything the best from all of us. This rage which coming frightened Regina but it doesn´t deter her from look to Emma and warn her: „Well, you just better hope to hell you didn´t bring anything else back."
Regina saw Emma´s look in her face. Face full of suprise, a little regret and visible desire to The old Regina is not really coming back! The old Regina who she fought with and just right now when it seemed then it will be better in their family when the wars and pull on Henry could be gone. But Regina didn´t wait for reaction, even for apologies or regret and she even didn´t want to stay there. Had she just stay there and watch this? Watch Robin and his new-found happiness without her? Where is his second chance? Did he already forget her? And this a way of torturing herself was inhuman.
„Are you alright, madame?" So the stewardess did caught her.
„Yes," She replied. „Well, i will be. I just… I´m just tired and I really intolerance flying… But it´s ok."
„If you want, i can bring you something…" Miss stewardess offered. But Regina just smiled to her and refused. „No thank you, you´re nice."
Stewardess got back her smile and she left. It was really strange. Regina never smiled to people once. When she was Evil but now she was so happy she can do this. It´s nice feeling when someone got you back your smile. She liked it.
She looked through window again and suddenly she just felt worst. Her hands were shaking. So she took her purse and left to the toilet. There she started deeply breathing. She put her hands on the sink and looked up herself in the mirror. And now she understood why the stewardess asked her is she ok. She looked terrible. Face pale as death… her face was more than scary. Regina took from her purse some little box with white tabletes, took one of them and washed the pill. She waited few minutes, adjusting her hair which were long until mid back now. Color came back to her face again and then she came back in her mind to Granny´s.
Then she slowly turned away from Emma and left from his life so quickly she came to and with painful finding out that Robin didn´t even noticed it. For last time she back her look at him and her little family with her hand on the doorknob. She was looking at him and his family, she looking at his lack of interest in her. He stood there with Marian in his arms and absolutely didn´t suspected that some woman who loved him so much and leaving now forever was looking at him to give his family a chance for new start… second chance for new life. Well, at the moment her reason wasn´t so nice and dedicated. It came after but yes she did this for him. At this moment she wanted to be just gone, just gone.
She didn´t realize Emma was still looking at her. She turned back to door, turned the doorknob and whispered: „Goodbye forever" And then with her typicall purple magic she moved home. She ran up the stairs to her room and when she looked at her face in the mirror she started crying. Her face was tired, pale and full of sadness. She couldn´t believe that this woman who was looking to her in the mirror is truly her: Regina Mills. She just couldn´t.
„This is not you!" she yelled, „ You are Regina Mills, you are the Queen and Maid Mayor! You won´t be sitting here and cry! NO! You won´t!" she grabbed her vase with flower which Robin gave her today morning and threw them directly through the mirror. The shards of the vase and the mirror just lying on the floor and the flowers were between them, totally destroyed. Regina did realize that the flowers were the better off than her.
From her thoughts took her back turbulence. She nearly fell and realized she is still on the toilet. So she took her purse and came back to her place. When she sat the next turbulence came and she paid to strip, closed her eyes and sigh: „Why is everything better with a magic?" she didn´t know that the stewardess was looking at her with confuse in her face.
„What did you say, madame?" she carefuly asked. Regina opened her eyes and smiled to her again.
„It´s just a joke and I have someone home who has really big fantasy." and then both of them looked down by Regina´s left hand at the little girl who quiet slept with her Teddy Bear in her arms. The stewardess smiled to little girl then she looked to Regina again and then she left.