A friend encouraged me to post this. :) It was going to sit on my harddrive.

Title: Human
Author: Cindy Ryan
Spoilers: Den of Thieves and Under the Gun
Category: episode tag
Summary: Javier thinks Kate needs to talk
Notes: Many thanks to kuryakingirl for being a wonderful beta and friend :)

Detective Javier Esposito shifted the brown bag of Chinese food to his left arm. The six pack of beer still dangled from his right hand as he stood at the front door of Kate Beckett's building.
Opening the door Javier stepped in and made his way toward the elevator. Kate's new apartment was six blocks east from her old one. Still in the same neighborhood. Castle had tried to get Kate to try a new area but she had insisted this was her home.

Javier had texted Kate earlier after they had wrapped things up at the cemetery. Check that after she and Castle had found the treasure. She had replied back saying she was fine and headed home.
Esposito knew better.
Not because he'd worked with Kate for so long but because he'd been through what she was dealing with.
Was all too familiar with having an ex-partner turn bad.
Or have people think they were bad.

Shaking off the dark memories Javier stepped onto Kate's floor. It was nearing eleven. Normally Javier might have hesitated stopping by this late.
However this had hardly been a normal day.
Not that they had normal days of late.
Javier put the bag of food under his left arm and shifted the beer to his left hand. He knocked on the door and waited.

Several minutes later Kate appeared wearing a pair of dark blue sweats, her hair still wet from a shower.

"Hey."

"Hey."Esposito replied quietly as he noted the dark circles under her eyes. "Thought you might need a beer."

Kate smiled briefly and stepped aside. Javier entered the apartment and she shut the door.

"Need more than one."

"You eaten yet?"Esposito asked as he set the beer on the kitchen island.

"Define eaten."Kate replied as she took a beer out of the cardboard container and walked around the island to one of the drawers taking out a bottle opener.

"Chips out of the vending machine don't count."

"Then no."Kate acknowledged as she turned offering him the opener "It smells heavenly."

Javier accepted the bottle opener and Kate began to take out the containers of Chinese food.

Kate started towards the living room sofa then stopped. She looked back at Esposito. "Grab the beer I have an idea."

Javier took what was left of the six pack and followed his fellow detective. They exited the apartment and took a right down the hallway.
In companionable silence they entered a stairwell and started climbing.
Four flights of stairs later Esposito stopped in amazement. In front of him was one of the most amazing roof decks he'd seen.

"You've been holding out on us…..this is party central."Javier commented with mock accusation.

Kate smiled briefly as she crossed over to the far left wall. "When have we had time to hold a party?"

"Point."

Javier spread the food cartons on the ledge between them. The remaining beers sat on the floor at Kate's feet.

"For what it's worth."Esposito began quietly as he fumbled with a pair of chopsticks. "I don't think Royce was all bad."

Kate flinched at her mentor's name. Briefly but Javier caught it.
He knew she wasn't handling things nearly as well as she tried to portray.

"He broke the law."Beckett replied softly her gaze fixed on the buildings below.

Javier nodded as he took a bite. "So did Ike but not in the way people thought he did."

Kate climbed up onto the short wall and sat Indian style. She set the food carton down in front of her and picked up the beer bottle rolling it in her hands.

Taking a few more bites of food Javier waited. He knew she needed to talk but also knew it'd only be on her own terms.

"Different shades of gray."Beckett replied as she took a sip of beer "Mike lied and conspired to steal."

"Don't start doubting yourself."

"He taught me everything I know, Javier."

"You're one of the best cops the city has."

"That doesn't get you out of buying coffee."Kate deflected.

"I'm serious."

Kate nodded as she looked down at the beer bottle. "My life was such a mess when I met him."

"We all have people who helped us along the way."Javier acknowledged as he picked up an eggroll.

"If my instincts were wrong about him what does that say about me?"

Javier was silent for a moment. "The thing with Ike messed with my head for a long time. Everybody kept saying he was dirty. That he was on Racine's payroll. Even after Ike faked his death the rumors didn't stop. People were wondering about me….if I could be trusted to watch their backs."

Kate looked up. "You're one of the best people I know. When we were looking into Racine….never crossed my mind….."

"Appreciate that….being with the twelfth has helped."Javier met Kate's gaze. "I won't lie to you and say this won't hurt. It will and you'll be mad as hell for a long time. But there are ways to make peace with it."

Kate nodded. "Like this. Thank you."

Esposito shrugged. "Anytime."

They finished the rest of the meal in companionable silence. Kate drained the last of her beer and Javier saw her shiver.

"Let's drink the rest of the beer inside."Javier suggested as he hopped off the ledge. "Captain will kill me if you get sick."

Once back in Kate's kitchen she looked at the clock, almost one.

"I think we both better call it a night and avoid Montgomery's wrath."

Javier looked ruefully at the three remaining beers."Raincheck. You owe me a drink."

"Deal."Kate replied with a smile.

Zipping up his jacket Esposito walked to the door. He could tell their talk had helped but there was still a long road of healing ahead. Javier knew Kate was a private person but he hoped she would talk to one of them if she needed to.

"Careful going home."Kate stated softly as Javier opened the door.

"Always."

"Thanks again for the beer and dinner."

"No problem."Javier replied as he stepped out into the hall. He hesitated and turned back. "You know you can talk to Ryan or me about anything, right?"

Kate nodded as she moved closer to the door. "I do. I'll see you tomorrow."

Javier met Kate's gaze; studying his friend. Kate was a good cop and an even better person. She'd been through a lot in her life. Even the strong crumble….it was unfortunately part of being human.

"Good night."Esposito commented as Kate closed the door behind him.

Walking out of the apartment building Javier was glad he'd taken the subway. Even at this time of night on a week day there were plenty of people around. Walking would give him time to think.
About the past, fate and the prospects of the days ahead.

end