Probst: I'm here in the Costa Rica with 16 new players ready to start a new season.
Jade: My name is Jade and I'm here to win. I might have to use my sex appeal every once and a while but... I think I can get the job done.
Gordon: I am so excited to get started. I'm ready to (censored) smash some raw salmon and win it all.
Bambi: I've been told that I look really cute. You know, a bit like a deer, they say. But I'm here to prove them wrong. I'm not just a cute girl - but I'm a tough guy. I can win it.
(everyone steps onto the beach)
Probst: Come on in guys.
Probst: Tribes are Scrub in blue and Bleh in green. Go to camp.
Zinnia: Woot!
Zinnia: SO. EXCITED. WOWOOOOOOOOOOOW
SCRUB - DAY ONE
Kira: so like. What do you all think for alliances?
Robert: I'd like to make an alliance with you. (to Jaden) IN BED.
Jaden: hueheuhueuhe
Jaden: Robert is a funny man. Love. Him. Alliance.
Robert: Let's make an alliance
Jaden: sure
Robert: We have kira with us.
Kira: robert thinks that im with him but nope. He is gross. I use tumblr a lot and I know that he's a reddit neckbeard. So no alliance with him.
Kira: Let's make a shelter
(shelter is made)
Bennett: the shelter looks really good guys
Asia: yeah
Bennett: Hm. I like the shelter. But I need an alliance.
(benentt and Asia in hte forest)
Bennett: so you wanna make an alliance?
Asia: yeah sure. Don't wanna go home
Asia: bennett's nice. He made an alliance with me. I am so happy that I won't be first boot !
Bennett: I've got asia wrapped around my finger. There's no way that she'll betray me. Plus she's hot. HUE
Asia: You wanna go back to the camp?
Bennet: yes
(they go back)
Robert: HEY ASIA ! TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!
Asia: UM, ew. No.
Asia: robert is disgusting. EWWWWWWWww. I want him out.
Asia: (to Bennett) Can we get Robert out first?
Bennett: Maybe
Bennett: iAsia wants Robert out. But Robert is cool. Just because he asked her to take her shirt off! Come on, asia stop being such a sjw
Robert: Asia please.
Asia: NO your gross
Robert: so many people here are sjw. I hate it.
BLEH - dAY ONe
Taylor: Well were here.
Jolene: nice
Jolene: Super excited to be on survivor. I'm a geologist so I have a decent amount of money but I want MORE!
Sharif: so Jolene what do you do
Jolene: I'm a geologist!
Sharif: really? That is so cool.
Sharif: Love Jolene. She is a geologist and I'm a chef. We could be real good friends
Jolene: Sharif is noice
(danny and Tyrone building shelter)
Tyron: alliance
Danny: Yes.
Danny: YaY. I'm in an alliance! WOOt. Now I will make it far in the game.
Tyrone: Danny is a good partner in crime. He is trustwrothy
Jade: so like... Is this our shelter?
Nemo: yes
Jade: it is so gross. Like, oh my god.
Jade: Oh my god this tribe is awful. I hate it so much. I want starbucks.
Jade: Taylor. Wanna make an alliance?
Taylor: yeh
Bambi: Can I join
Taylor: You? HUe. No. Thou art disgusting
Bambi: (crying)
Bambi: I am not disgusting. I am cool
Taylor: I make fun of bambi but really I am jealous of her good looks. She is beautiful and I want to make love to her
Nemo: you aint lesbian are you taylor
Taylor: of course not! EW
Nemo: taylor is hot
Jolene: Look. There are rocks!
Sharif: Noice! We should find food.
Jolene: No. Rocks
Sharif: um... But I'm hangry and want to cook scallops.
Jolene: Sharif is such a douchenozzle. I hate him so much I want to throw rocks at his face.
Sharif: our friendship is ruined... .
SCRUB - DAY TWO
Gorond: Morning fellows
Robet: oi.
Robert: Hey gordon wanna align
Gordon: Yeah as long as you don't vote me out
Robert: Bfft yeah of course.
Robert: Gordon is cool, gotta align with him. But hopeful yhe doesn't blindside me
Gordon: OK
Zinnia: EEK
Jaden: wat
Zinnia: Spoiders
(spiders crawl out of Asia's mouth)
Jaden: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWw
Asia: wat
Asia: I eat spiders a lot so sometimes they aren't digested and so they crawl back up my throat
Gordon:I am glad we are having character moments. When spiders came out of asia's throat it was so funy like lololol
Kira: We need water.
Zinnia: I willgo get some
Zinnia: Kira and I went to get water and it was fun I think we are friends
Kira: Alliance.
Zinnia: ok
Kira: I made an alliance with Zinnia because she is a girl and I hate man
Kira: lets go back to camp
Robert: ewwww, that water is gonna have cooties because women are holding it
Robert: I only like women for their sex appeal and their breasts
Kira: go home robert
Robert: Maybe, I will
Gordon: What?
Bennett: No robert, dont quit please
Bennett: Robert might quit because kira is mean. I don't want him to quit because he is really funny and nice and I think maybe I will make an alliance with him soon because I want to go to the end with him because he deserves to win over me but I need to numbers because asia wants robert out first but I don't so I need to work on getting together the numbers to blindside everyone except robert cause I love robert
RoberT: kira is just super rude and I don't like her
Kira: UM WHAT. Excuse me!
Robert: tis true
Kira: you are gross
Kira: robert is all like "oooh breast" but that is gross. I prefer people that aren't disgussting aka non white cis straight men cause they suck
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Porbst: come on in guys!
Probst: so what is going on at camp?
Robert: Kira is mean
Kira: no stop
Probst: ok let's get to the challenge. You will swim in the ocean to find puzzle pieces and then you will make a puzzle wanna know what your playing for
Sharif: yeah
Probst: immunity survivors ready go
Sharif: let's go go go
(jade is swimming)
Jade: I hope you know this is ruining my makeup
(gordon is swimming)
Gordon: I got all the puzzles
Kira: come back
Bennett: let usbuils it
Robert: yeah asia and kira go home or at least start stripping for me
Aisa: umm...
Taylor: JADE your taking forever
Nemo: gogogo
Jade: I got them
Bambi: swim faster
Jade: no
(Jade sits in the water)
Jolene: dammit bambi why did you have to speak
Tyrone: ugh
Probst: scrub is almost done the puzzle
Jaden: yayay
Probst: scrub, wins immunity!
Probst: bleh you are going to tribal got nothin for you bye
Danny: FREAKING BAMBI. She lost the challenge for us. Bye bye deer girl see you later
BLEH - DAY THREE
Jolene: well this sucks, bambi you lost the challenge for us all
Bambi: I DIDNT MEAN TO
Tyrone: ièm quitting because bambi sucks so much
Sharif: tyrone no! STOP!
Tyrone: no, at tribal I'm gonna tell jeff that I'm quitting. Bambi is just too much for me to handle
Danny: ugh, why can't you just wait and we will vote out bambi
Tyrone: no. I just can't handle her she makes me ill
Bambi: Tyrone is quitting because of me which is fun, this is a leet strat gotta get everyone to quit because im annoying
Tyron: I just cannot live here anymore with bambi
(taylor and nemo are in the forest)
Taylor: we just have to convince tyrone to stay. If he quits we are screwed because bambi will lose the challenge for us over and over and we will be ulonged
Nemo: yeah. I will go talk to him
Nemo: Tyrone is quitting and that makes me sad because bambi needs to go. She is way in over her head and cannot cook for the life of her
Taylor: PLLLEASE tyrone dont quit bambi must leave and hten kill herself
Nemo: Tyrone please don't quit
Tyrone: I just can't deal. Bambi makes me skin crawl and I cannot even
Tyrone: Nemo makes a convincing argument but I will finalize my decision at tribal.
TRIBAL COUNCIL - DAY 3
Probst: so what is happening
Tyrone: I'm quitting
Probst: WHAT? HOOW DARE YOUU
Tyrone: I know it is shocking but I just cannot deal with bambi
Bambi: bleh
Probst: oh ok I understand. Bambi what are your thoughts?
Bambi: I-
Probst: Well okay then. That's enough out of you. Taylor, do you like bambi?
Taylor: (vomits) EWWWW bambi makes me want to kill myself
Jade: Same. She lost the challenge for us
Sharif: yeah bambi really dropped the ball with this one
Probst: Ok so tyrone are you quitting?
Tyrone: sigh yeah I think so
Danny: come on tyrone just stick it out for one vote so bambi can die
Tyrone: I would love to but I just can't. Sorry everyone. (tyrone walks up to probst with his torch.)
Probst: tyrone, you have spoken. Time for you to go.
(Tyrone leaves)
Probst: With that, tyrone has left. Will bambi continue to splinter the tribe and will an ulonging happen? We will see. Bye
Tyrone's Final Words:
I really wanted to make it far in this game. But bambi drove me to the brink of insanity and I had to pull myself from the game for medical reasons. Good luck to the bleh tribe im rooting for you from the sidelines. Bye