She was gone. Emptied out. Not mine. She belonged to Kaname, the pureblood. The pureblood that I have something in common with. We're both damned. Why does Yuuki have to be damned, too?!? Why did she not see that I loved her? So much. Now that I know I feel gone. She took my heart.
Her image was still burned in my mind. Her usually cropped brown hair was now long, to her waist. He dark red eyes looked like they were glowing as they surveyed the veins beneath my pale neck. I did kiss her though. But it was a sad kiss. A goodbye kiss. She must have seen how much I needed that closure, the feeling of being loved, because she complied, her lips moved with mind. That was a memory I would keep a firm grasp on. Only unleashing it when I know I can handle it. And now I have to kill her. She's a pureblood. Like Kaname. Like Shizuka. She oddly reminded me of Shizuka that night, though they look nothing alike. The cool façade she had on. The feline posture, ready to pounce. Especially, when Artemis singed with threatening electricity at her touch was now lengthened into a killing machine. No longer a long rod. It was hard to watch her kill Rido, even harder for him to torture her, bringing up the deceased Juri-san. I stared forward at the rubble of the once Cross-Academy. The name was true. This place was forbidden, cross. It's tainted with blood, blood from my hands and many others. I touched the steel gate that the night class exits from, imagining Yuuki standing there ushering the elites. But she wasn't here she was gone. She ran away with Kaname, before I could get a word in. Before I could beg her to kiss me once more. The tattoo on my neck burned, but with a different thirst. I was in love with what I was sworn to hate. A vampire and I was one of them. I touched a pointed fang with my tongue as if hoping it was gone. I took the Bloody Rose out of my pocket holding it up to my heart, measuring how painful this death would be compared to watching Yuuki wield it, her frail hands pulling the trigger. Stopping my heart that was beating to fast when I thought of her. Does she even know what effect she has on me? I grabbed a fist full of silver hair, sliding to the ground, my grey eyes prickled. I didn't want this. An image, Shizuka with Ichijou watching me and my family lay in a pool of blood. No. Another one, Kaname holding Yuuki, calling her his 'dear girl' me wanting to say she's my dear girl. No. Aido sucking out Yuuki's soul out of a cut through palm. No. A million pangs of her smile, her laugh. Her saying my name. A certain memory stuck with me. Us at an icecream parlor, shopping around her giggling and twirling like a tiny child. Me having to leave out of anger as the waitress points out what I have with Aido. Coming back to find her, lost disoriented.
She was the only one I wanted to call me 'Zero' everyone else would call me formally Kiryu-kun. I wanted Yuuki to call me Zero. Though now I realize in English 'zero' means absolutely nothing. Though that was fine. It fit, I felt empty anyway. My emotions felt lost all except sorrow and longing and, and hatred. Self hatred. If vampires didn't exist Kaname and Yuuki would be siblings but she would be mine. Only purebloods fall in love with their own sister. Is this real? Maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe when I wake up I can tell her how I really feel. But this isn't a dream and I lost any chances of her being with me. I want her kind hands and warm smile. I felt myself dying inside. What was this feeling? I yearned to see her face. The face of a Kuran yet the face of an angel. His angel or my angel? I felt my throat ache again. His angel. I can't face the truth. I concealed my face in my hands. Why? Why? Why? I banged a fist against the shattered bricks of Cross-Academy. I slipped my anguish behind thick, metal bars, holding a mask of bitterness. I
I was angry. The sense of loss was dulling and ferocity was taking its place. Why did she leave me!?! I need her! Why did she never see how much I needed her?!? Every time she was away there would be a dull tender place where my heart was. I kicked down the gate that was struggling to hold its self up. You try and try and only get knocked down. How sorry life really is.
I ran to town, burning off the last of Yuuki's blood. I spot one almost immediately. Vampire. I strode over to where she was standing, cupping a hand over her snapping mouth and dragging her into the shadows before pulverizing her into dust.
The Vampire Knight is here, I thought before licking the blood that splattered on the back of my hand.