Oops, I forgot to knock
by
KnowingNoMore
Summary:
Eren accidentally walked in one of Erwin and Levi's heated 'sessions', and now poor Eren has to deal with the consequence. Silliness ensured. Eruri.
Warnings:
Swearing. Yaoi. Silliness overload.
"Eren," the commander begins mildly.
They are in the commander's office, Erwin is sitting behind his desk, Levi is standing next to him, and Eren is, awkward and embarrassed as he is, trying to stand still across the massive desk.
Eren doesn't know where to set his eyes. Even though both Erwin and Levi have already put their clothes back on (in a not hurried, laid back manner, Eren cringing the whole time), it's still pretty weird. The sight of the commander pinning the dark-haired captain on his desk and grinding into him relentlessly is simply too much for Eren to take in, and he, at the moment, thought he was surely scarred for life.
"Yes, commander," the fifteen-year-old replies reluctantly. Honestly, he just wants to leave and forget what he saw as soon as possible.
"Eren, I just want you to know—"
"I will tell no one," Eren interrupts eagerly. "I'll keep this a secret, sir—"
"Erwin's talking," Levi snaps. "Do not interrupt, brat. Where's your manner?"
Eren winces. "Yes sir. I'm sorry, sir."
"You can continue now, Erwin," the captain says straight-faced.
Erwin glances at Levi, seemingly amused.
"You just commanded me," he chuckles. "You should do that next time…it's sexy."
Levi steps back and scowls. "Shut up and get this over with."
"See? You just did that again," Erwin says. "It turns me on."
"Fuck off. Everything's just sex with you, isn't it?" Levi scoffs.
"Just when I'm with you, and by the way, I didn't even get to finish before Eren came in," Erwin says innocently.
Eren watch the scene before him with horror. Has his presence been completely dismissed? He cringes at his superiors, fighting the urge to cover his ears and his eyes. See no evil, hear no evil... Can they do this elsewhere?
"Anyway," Erwin turns back to Eren. "Where were we? Oh, I remember."
Eren nods quickly. Yes, please please say what you have to say and let me go.
"I was just going to tell you, Eren, we are only human, there's no shame in feeling the needs of being close to another human being…"
But it's you who have needs, not me, sir, and you weren't just close to Captain Levi, you two were mating like wild animals, well I don't usually get to see how they mate but I'm sure that's what they do… Eren wants to say, but he just swallows the words down. "Yes, of course," he says instead.
"Do you understand, Eren? Maybe you are too young to understand this. But Captain Levi and I…even if we are both man, it's completely normal to seek warmth like us do. If you ever feel like this towards someone, in the future, you'll get it."
I get it, Commander Erwin. I get it. So the rumor is true that you two are banging each other. Well, it's not so hard to see…um I didn't notice it at first but Jean was joking about it and then I heard Armin speculating about it with Mikasa…so... Eren answers inwardly.
"Wait, Erwin, what are you talking about?" Levi suddenly says, as if all of a sudden notices something terribly wrong. "You'll make him think that we're together, like a couple or something."
Erwin turns his gaze on the smaller man next to him, even when he is sitting and Levi is standing, the captain is only slightly taller than him.
"Then what are we?" Erwin asks with a benignly baffled face.
"I don't fucking know. You're my boss, we just engage in a sexual relationship, nothing more," Levi says darkly.
Erwin looks hurt. And even Eren feels a little bit sorry for him.
"Stop looking at me like that. If you think sad puppy eyes' gonna make me pity you, you're wrong, cunning bastard," Levi hissed at Erwin. "It's more like an one night stand thing."
"But only it's not one night, it's many, many nights and over the years," Erwin says.
Eren groans inwardly. I don't need to know how many times you two fucked. And I don't need to hear you argue about whether you're a couple or not.
"I'm sorry you have to hear this," Erwin says to Eren. Eren sighs with relief. "Levi is just too shy to admit his relationship with me. You must forgive him," Erwin continues.
What?
"Shut the fuck up, Erwin. Eren, it's not like what he said. And Erwin, I thought you're going to punish him?"
Punish? Eren pales. Oh boy, he has tried Captain Levi's punishment before, and that's so, so, SO not fun.
"Why didn't you knock before coming in?" Levi asks with a severe expression.
Eren opens his mouth, and then closes it. He doesn't know what to say. "...I-I f-forgot," he stutters, feeling his palms starting to sweat. "I thought there was only the commander." And who'd fuck each other's brain out in the middle of working hours in the office and not bother to lock the door?
"Whatever, that was very impolite, and very inappropriate," Levi says.
You are seriously calling me inappropriate? Seriously? Compares to what you two did?! Eren almost blurts out.
"Levi, it's alright," Erwin says amiably, and Eren rubs his palms on his pants nervously; he was so sure that Levi was going to launch at him and kick the shit outta him. Thank God.
"He's just a kid, he doesn't know we'd be doing it here," Erwin says, gesturing toward Eren.
"Perhaps you're right," Levi agrees. "Or perhaps you're just a fucking liar. Again. You told me you've locked the door, you damn exhibitionist."
Waint, WHAT?
The commander laughed cheekily.
"But that was fun, wasn't it?"
Eren steps back, his brain screaming danger, danger! But the commander is still grinning, even though Levi's scowl darkens and darkens.
Finally, Levi snorts. "...Fine, whatever you like."
Eren stops shaking. He can't believe what he just witnessed, but he is so grateful that Erwin is the one to blame and Levi is not going to blame him. He cheers inwardly.
"But still, the brat didn't knock." The next second, Levi turns towards Eren.
Uh-oh.
"I'm truly sorry, Captain!" Eren cries, ready to drop to his knees and beg. Anything. Just don't beat me! "I will never, ever do that again! I promise I'll knock! Every time!"
Levi glares at him coldly. "Do you think I'll believe you?"
"Why not, Levi?" Erwin says. "Give him a second chance. It's no big deal. I promise I'll lock the door next time."
"Don't even think I'll trust you ever again," Levi hisses. "You also promised you'd use lube, not come inside me, shower before sex and after sex, and not stay the night. You are impossible, Erwin Smith."
"Yet you love me," Erwin says.
Levi rolls his eyes.
Eren winces again. Oh please...take this somewhere ELSE!
"C'mon, we still got a little bit time left before I have to finish some paper work. Let's not waste time," Erwin cooed at Levi. "I'll let you do whatever you like."
Levi flushes a little.
"Yeah, I know what you want." Erwin continues to lure him in a low, husky voice. "You can have it, Levi."
Eren glances at the commander, and then at the captain. The commander's tone has made him red all over.
"...Alright," Levi spits, but he's giving in. Eren has never seen the captain like this, blushing like a teenager and trembling under Erwin's gaze, visibly tempted by the suggestion.
The next moment, Levi glower at Eren, regaining all seriousness. "Get lost, brat."
"YESSIR!" Eren shouts, put his right fist over his heart, and run towards the door for his life.
"Where have you been?" Mikasa asks.
Eren sits down at the table. His friends have gathered for the supper for a while now.
"Nothing, running into some little trouble with Captain Levi..." He says in a low voice.
Mikasa's eyes widens. "That short scum? Did he hurt you? I'll go skin him—"
"No." Eren stops her. "No. I'm fine. See? And please don't try find him, or you'll be scarred for life."
"Why? He can't harm me," Mikasa deadpans.
"Uh...it's hard to explain. But you won't like what you see there."
Something dawns on Mikasa's face, and then she rolls her eyes.
"So that two, again."
"Wait, you know?"
"Yeah, they got no morals whatsoever," Mikasa shrugs. "You're not the first one that ran into them."
"What?"
And the next moment, they hear a loud scream.
Eren stands up, but Mikasa pulls him back down to the stool.
"See?" She says in a bored voice. "Again."
"It's Connie, that idiot..."
Eren palms his face.
-The end-
A/N:
Hi y'all! This is my first SnK/AoT fic! I'm a huge Eruri shipper!
The stress of reality is too much to bear so I ran into the happy world of fanfics and attempted humor. Hope you enjoyed it. I know that was silly as hell but yeah XD. Puppy eyes Erwin would be so cute. And they argue like Eren's parents...that's cute too. I've been wanting to write some serious fics (or continue my old fics) but this plot bunny got me first. Ah...I miss this old couple! I don't know if anyone agrees with me but, seriously, this world needs more Eruri LOL!
Comments are much appreciated! Your comments make my day ;)
Hope we'll meet again soon!
-KnowingNoMore