Memories of Yesterday
By WickedSong
Disclaimer : Don't own Merlin, never will.
Merlin would never forget Freya.
In that short space of time he had known her he had found more understanding of his situation that he may have in his whole life. The way she had been ripped from him was cruel and he had to face the fact he had always known, that life wasn't fair. It hadn't been for the cursed Freya and it had hardly ever been for him.
"Merlin..." Arthur questioned, one day when Merlin's head was far away. Arthur had seen the tortured, grieving look on Merlin's face for a few days now and he couldn't think why he would look like that. What did he lose? "Merlin!" He exclaimed bringing his servant back to attention.
"Yes, sire?" Merlin looked away from the window and turned to the prince, his expression sombre.
"What is the matter with you?" Arthur asked, in a offhand way. The young prince didn't mean to sound angry or impatient with Merlin but he couldn't help it, couldn't see what was wrong "You've been upset for a couple of days now"
"Nothing sire" Merlin replied but not with his usual sincerity "If you don't need anything else, I shall take my leave"
Arthur, thinking of nothing else Merlin could do nodded his head but was still unsure "Of course Merlin"
So Merlin left, memories of yesterday and happier times shrouded in his head.
He didn't know why losing her hit him so badly. He had known her for a matter of days. Of course he had been planning to give up everything, pick up and leave Camelot just for her. They would go back, back to places that reminded them of their homes. He couldn't say if he had fallen for her but he had never expected to find something - never mind someone that he would want to live for so strongly and that meant grieving for them as well. He grieved for Freya - of course in private. He couldn't tell anyone his feelings ran so deep - not even Gaius.
So he didn't, letting the memories fill his head and he realised that he had to let her go. He had done so by taking her to the lake that last time so she could die in peace, away from Uther, Halig, the guards so he did it this time.
Yes, Merlin would let her go, let her memory live on but never pause over it himself. He would let go but never forget.
Last night's episode was so sad and it pulled at my heartstrings so this is basically a lament for Freya because it was so bitter how their story ended because you could tell Merlin really liked her.
Hope you enjoy.
WickedSong x