Shinjitsu No Tobira
A song-fic to the couple Doujima/Sakaki.. ^_^ I must write more about them, @_@ they are absolutely cute together 3 even if Doujima is a ditz XD.. ah- unmarked spoilers are in here, too. Since it's about Doujima, it XDD has a bit of spoilers. o.O It's in her point of veiw too.
DISCLAIMER: Song is (C) Yoko Ishida "Shinjitsu No Tobira" (Truth's Door), and all characters are (C) SUNRISE. :D they do not belong to me. sorry, folks. XD
-- (doujima POV)
"Tch. Figures. I screwed another mission to catch a witch." I walked down to the overlook of the lake by the church. This is the path Robin walked everyday to and from that church. I stood there, watching the sunset. I was pretty much yelled at when I got back to the headquarters of our group, STN-J. I had been partnered up again with Sakaki. Damnit. "We failed that stupid mission." I toyed around with my hair and closed my eyes, to think. 'I killed her.. the witch we were supposed to catch...' I sighed. 'Sakaki was so mad at me, I don't blame him, I'd be mad too.'
I wish I was the great witch hunter I wanted to be; too bad I had to keep acting ditzy, now i've really turned into a ditz. Solomon won't care if they yell at me, but i'm in deep shit if they kick me out of STN-J. That's what i'm worried of. The wind started to toy with my hair, making it flow towards the sunset, the west. I opened my eyes. I thought about what Sakaki said to me earlier.
'why did you kill her!? We're going to get into deep trouble now, you ditz! You need to start thinking more of others, you think too much of yourself.'
I sigh. That's exactly what he told me. Bastard. He doesn't understand me at all. But his words.. hit me harder than what the cheif had said to me earlier. And believe me, what the chief said was way worse than what Sakaki hit me with, though.. Sakaki hurt me more. I want Sakaki to forgive me, though I higly doubt he will. A tear fell down my left eye. I wiped it. "Damn it."
--
if I close my eyes and think of the passing seasons
someday I'll catch the dream I've been having
the wind brushes against my cheeks with a nostalgic kindness
drying my overflowing tears as it passes by
--
I started to turn my back to the sunset, as it turned it's back on me. I thought more about Sasaki. He was still being yelled at now. He was supposed to keep a close eye on me, making sure I didn't screw anything up. 'I don't want him to be gone.. he's a better witch hunter than I am.' I thought. "Maybe I should apologize for being so stupid. After all, it wasn't his fault." 'And I thought I was flawless and perfect. Me? Apologizing for something.. HE should have watched me.' I shook my head. 'No.. it was OUR fault. I gotta be yelled at too.. but I probably won't be able to go in. I guess i'll apologize later. I hope he forgives me.' I clinged onto a hope that could never be reached. I knew Sakaki wouldn't forgive me.
--
no matter who it is, people cling onto hope even when they worry
aiming for tomorrow and moving on
--
I walked over to Harry's to think things over. To drink some coffee to keep me up tonight. So I can blame myself and feel shitty in the morning. I entered quietly, the door didn't make much as a tiny ring, but I don't think he heard. Everything was the way it was, though, as I came in and quietly closed the door, I could see a figure sitting at the bar. He was saying something. I gasped, 'Sakaki!' I stood there, overhearing what he said. "Master" was wiping the bar off while listening.
"Damn. I can't believe that ditz! I got yelled at for everything! I don't think STN-J trusts me anymore." Sakaki grunted. He sounded as if he saw me, he'd pull out his gun and shoot me.
"Well... maybe she didn't really mean it." Master rose up to meet his eyes with Sakaki.
"Whatever. I know she did it to get me in trouble. She's always like that, always caring for herself. No one else." His head dropped down to the countertop.
I stood in the same dark spot, ready to pounce on him for saying all that.. but it was all true, really. I cared too much for myself.. I wanted to cry, but that would ruin my pride. He was so angry at me. I stepped three times before Master looked up from his wiping. I knew after that moment things were going to change. I know Sakaki would say something. I was ready for whatever came at me. 'bold and brave.. easy does it..' Master smiled and left the both of us alone. Sakaki's head rose from the cold, hard, countertop. He looked at me. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could, he put his head back down.
--
someday it'll awaken, the door of reality
I can feel it if I reach out my hand
lets go look for the world that's starting to change
I won't let go of those fingers
if you're here, we'll find it for sure
--
A painful sigh seeped through my lips. The heat rose to my head as I took the seat next to him. I stared at him for a moment. "You come here.. often?" I asked him. Breaking the awkward silence.
"No."
I was taken aback by his "No", the way he said it, was so.. cold. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk.
Without thinking, being the ditz I am, I said, "Sakaki, i'm so sorry.. please, you must hear me out."
His head rose from the countertop once again. He sighed for a moment and looked at me. His eyes peirced through my heart. It looked like he was ready to punch me, or at least get his gun out. "Why should I hear you out?" He asked me.
"Because.. I want to apologize."
He started to laugh, "Doujima Yurika, APOLOGIZING? Hah. That's amazing." He paused for a moment and said another thing, "I don't believe you."
I was shot yet again. "I mean it.. I'm so sorry.. okay?" My eyes started to feel like they were going to cry a river. I wanted him to believe me. Cause i'm meaning everything I say. This wasn't like me at all.. why did I feel like this? Why do I want him to forgive me so much?
"Forget it. Your not sorry for anything. Amon doesn't trust me anymore, Michael and the others won't talk to me. STN-J doesn't trust me anymore. All because you cared for yourself. Your always like that, you care only for yourself. You, you, you. No one else."
This was a big bullet peirced into my heart. He said the truth. The solid truth. I was.. everything he said I was. I couldn't say more.
"You know I was yelled at for doing this. Not only that-- i'm suspended from any action for now. They're not putting us as a team anymore.. be-" Before he could say anymore, he saw me stand from my seat. My back turned to him, I didn't want any of this to happen. I would have felt better if I was punished too.
"Y-you don't have to say.. anymore." I managed to choke out. My eyes bulging out salty tears that fell all over my shirt. I heard the thunder and saw the lightning. I wanted to feel the rain. It was dark outside. Darker than ebony itself. 'all I wanted.. was to be forgiven.'
--
a star disappears in the painful night
holding onto the wish forgotten that day
if we grow up even sadness
can be overcome by light laughter
--
I didn't dare turn around to look at him, I just whimpered and quickly ran outside, my heels claking on the marble floor, to the wet pavement outside. My clothes were soaking, my hair was a mess. "Damnit! This isn't like me!! I don't cry because of things like these!!" I yelled. I fell down in the middle of the road. On my knees, I cried, feeling the rain.
"WHY is it him!? WHY does he have to be suspended!? WHY not me!?" I cried. "He's a better witch hunter than I am!!"
I clenched the wet pavement, feeling my nails digging into tar and other whatnot. I suddenly saw two bright lights coming towards me. It's a car. My eyes widened. My legs were disabled, I couldn't walk. Was I going to die? I didn't care. As long as I didn't have to feel this way. I feel so-- guilty for everything. Everything i've done. Being a ditz, pissing off my comrads, and especially.. Sakaki. Before I knew it, my life flashed before my eyes, and when I opened them, I felt dry arms encircling my back. My face dug into the neck of my saviour.
I heard him gasping for air. "Are you okay..?" It was Sakaki. My tears covered my sight of him, but I knew it was Sakaki. We were already in a position by this time, we were leaning against a wall, sitting. I cried on his chest, him accepting my tears, made me cry even more.
"I'm... okay." I coughed. He smiled, and he started to caress my face with his lips, trying to catch every tear falling. When his lips made it close to mine, he pulled back. I was lost in him. "I forgive you. I'm sorry for laughing." He pulled me into a warm, wet embrace. The rain still falling hard on us, we were soaked.
My body accepting his warm embrace, I smiled, "Sakaki.." His fingers entangled in my hair. This time life felt so right. My heart flew, my eyes stopped pouring tears. My lips tugged up and I smiled. 'he forgave me..?'
He pulled me back and smiled, "Just as long as your punished with me, i'm fine with it." He grinned.
--
time always turns away, but it heals
an injured heart turns into a memory
--
I returned the smile, "Me? With you?" He nodded. "You have a better chance of Michael going outside to Harry's than me being punished with you. But..."
We both stood up from our position, "It was my fault too. So I must take the blame." He put an arm around me and my arm around his waist. I smiled, "You know.. being punished isn't so bad. Gives me more time to read my magazines, you know..?" He rolled his eyes, "Whatever you say, Daijouma." That night, we were both punished. But I benifited out of it all....
--
someday it'll awaken, the door of reality
smiling brightly at the present and heading towards the future
lets start walking straight away
if you're here with me
--
^^ Please review.. *giggle* o.o i hope you r/r, k?
o___O sorry if it's really bad, I think it was a little on the "eh" side. ^_^ But i'm giving it a chance.
A song-fic to the couple Doujima/Sakaki.. ^_^ I must write more about them, @_@ they are absolutely cute together 3 even if Doujima is a ditz XD.. ah- unmarked spoilers are in here, too. Since it's about Doujima, it XDD has a bit of spoilers. o.O It's in her point of veiw too.
DISCLAIMER: Song is (C) Yoko Ishida "Shinjitsu No Tobira" (Truth's Door), and all characters are (C) SUNRISE. :D they do not belong to me. sorry, folks. XD
-- (doujima POV)
"Tch. Figures. I screwed another mission to catch a witch." I walked down to the overlook of the lake by the church. This is the path Robin walked everyday to and from that church. I stood there, watching the sunset. I was pretty much yelled at when I got back to the headquarters of our group, STN-J. I had been partnered up again with Sakaki. Damnit. "We failed that stupid mission." I toyed around with my hair and closed my eyes, to think. 'I killed her.. the witch we were supposed to catch...' I sighed. 'Sakaki was so mad at me, I don't blame him, I'd be mad too.'
I wish I was the great witch hunter I wanted to be; too bad I had to keep acting ditzy, now i've really turned into a ditz. Solomon won't care if they yell at me, but i'm in deep shit if they kick me out of STN-J. That's what i'm worried of. The wind started to toy with my hair, making it flow towards the sunset, the west. I opened my eyes. I thought about what Sakaki said to me earlier.
'why did you kill her!? We're going to get into deep trouble now, you ditz! You need to start thinking more of others, you think too much of yourself.'
I sigh. That's exactly what he told me. Bastard. He doesn't understand me at all. But his words.. hit me harder than what the cheif had said to me earlier. And believe me, what the chief said was way worse than what Sakaki hit me with, though.. Sakaki hurt me more. I want Sakaki to forgive me, though I higly doubt he will. A tear fell down my left eye. I wiped it. "Damn it."
--
if I close my eyes and think of the passing seasons
someday I'll catch the dream I've been having
the wind brushes against my cheeks with a nostalgic kindness
drying my overflowing tears as it passes by
--
I started to turn my back to the sunset, as it turned it's back on me. I thought more about Sasaki. He was still being yelled at now. He was supposed to keep a close eye on me, making sure I didn't screw anything up. 'I don't want him to be gone.. he's a better witch hunter than I am.' I thought. "Maybe I should apologize for being so stupid. After all, it wasn't his fault." 'And I thought I was flawless and perfect. Me? Apologizing for something.. HE should have watched me.' I shook my head. 'No.. it was OUR fault. I gotta be yelled at too.. but I probably won't be able to go in. I guess i'll apologize later. I hope he forgives me.' I clinged onto a hope that could never be reached. I knew Sakaki wouldn't forgive me.
--
no matter who it is, people cling onto hope even when they worry
aiming for tomorrow and moving on
--
I walked over to Harry's to think things over. To drink some coffee to keep me up tonight. So I can blame myself and feel shitty in the morning. I entered quietly, the door didn't make much as a tiny ring, but I don't think he heard. Everything was the way it was, though, as I came in and quietly closed the door, I could see a figure sitting at the bar. He was saying something. I gasped, 'Sakaki!' I stood there, overhearing what he said. "Master" was wiping the bar off while listening.
"Damn. I can't believe that ditz! I got yelled at for everything! I don't think STN-J trusts me anymore." Sakaki grunted. He sounded as if he saw me, he'd pull out his gun and shoot me.
"Well... maybe she didn't really mean it." Master rose up to meet his eyes with Sakaki.
"Whatever. I know she did it to get me in trouble. She's always like that, always caring for herself. No one else." His head dropped down to the countertop.
I stood in the same dark spot, ready to pounce on him for saying all that.. but it was all true, really. I cared too much for myself.. I wanted to cry, but that would ruin my pride. He was so angry at me. I stepped three times before Master looked up from his wiping. I knew after that moment things were going to change. I know Sakaki would say something. I was ready for whatever came at me. 'bold and brave.. easy does it..' Master smiled and left the both of us alone. Sakaki's head rose from the cold, hard, countertop. He looked at me. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could, he put his head back down.
--
someday it'll awaken, the door of reality
I can feel it if I reach out my hand
lets go look for the world that's starting to change
I won't let go of those fingers
if you're here, we'll find it for sure
--
A painful sigh seeped through my lips. The heat rose to my head as I took the seat next to him. I stared at him for a moment. "You come here.. often?" I asked him. Breaking the awkward silence.
"No."
I was taken aback by his "No", the way he said it, was so.. cold. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk.
Without thinking, being the ditz I am, I said, "Sakaki, i'm so sorry.. please, you must hear me out."
His head rose from the countertop once again. He sighed for a moment and looked at me. His eyes peirced through my heart. It looked like he was ready to punch me, or at least get his gun out. "Why should I hear you out?" He asked me.
"Because.. I want to apologize."
He started to laugh, "Doujima Yurika, APOLOGIZING? Hah. That's amazing." He paused for a moment and said another thing, "I don't believe you."
I was shot yet again. "I mean it.. I'm so sorry.. okay?" My eyes started to feel like they were going to cry a river. I wanted him to believe me. Cause i'm meaning everything I say. This wasn't like me at all.. why did I feel like this? Why do I want him to forgive me so much?
"Forget it. Your not sorry for anything. Amon doesn't trust me anymore, Michael and the others won't talk to me. STN-J doesn't trust me anymore. All because you cared for yourself. Your always like that, you care only for yourself. You, you, you. No one else."
This was a big bullet peirced into my heart. He said the truth. The solid truth. I was.. everything he said I was. I couldn't say more.
"You know I was yelled at for doing this. Not only that-- i'm suspended from any action for now. They're not putting us as a team anymore.. be-" Before he could say anymore, he saw me stand from my seat. My back turned to him, I didn't want any of this to happen. I would have felt better if I was punished too.
"Y-you don't have to say.. anymore." I managed to choke out. My eyes bulging out salty tears that fell all over my shirt. I heard the thunder and saw the lightning. I wanted to feel the rain. It was dark outside. Darker than ebony itself. 'all I wanted.. was to be forgiven.'
--
a star disappears in the painful night
holding onto the wish forgotten that day
if we grow up even sadness
can be overcome by light laughter
--
I didn't dare turn around to look at him, I just whimpered and quickly ran outside, my heels claking on the marble floor, to the wet pavement outside. My clothes were soaking, my hair was a mess. "Damnit! This isn't like me!! I don't cry because of things like these!!" I yelled. I fell down in the middle of the road. On my knees, I cried, feeling the rain.
"WHY is it him!? WHY does he have to be suspended!? WHY not me!?" I cried. "He's a better witch hunter than I am!!"
I clenched the wet pavement, feeling my nails digging into tar and other whatnot. I suddenly saw two bright lights coming towards me. It's a car. My eyes widened. My legs were disabled, I couldn't walk. Was I going to die? I didn't care. As long as I didn't have to feel this way. I feel so-- guilty for everything. Everything i've done. Being a ditz, pissing off my comrads, and especially.. Sakaki. Before I knew it, my life flashed before my eyes, and when I opened them, I felt dry arms encircling my back. My face dug into the neck of my saviour.
I heard him gasping for air. "Are you okay..?" It was Sakaki. My tears covered my sight of him, but I knew it was Sakaki. We were already in a position by this time, we were leaning against a wall, sitting. I cried on his chest, him accepting my tears, made me cry even more.
"I'm... okay." I coughed. He smiled, and he started to caress my face with his lips, trying to catch every tear falling. When his lips made it close to mine, he pulled back. I was lost in him. "I forgive you. I'm sorry for laughing." He pulled me into a warm, wet embrace. The rain still falling hard on us, we were soaked.
My body accepting his warm embrace, I smiled, "Sakaki.." His fingers entangled in my hair. This time life felt so right. My heart flew, my eyes stopped pouring tears. My lips tugged up and I smiled. 'he forgave me..?'
He pulled me back and smiled, "Just as long as your punished with me, i'm fine with it." He grinned.
--
time always turns away, but it heals
an injured heart turns into a memory
--
I returned the smile, "Me? With you?" He nodded. "You have a better chance of Michael going outside to Harry's than me being punished with you. But..."
We both stood up from our position, "It was my fault too. So I must take the blame." He put an arm around me and my arm around his waist. I smiled, "You know.. being punished isn't so bad. Gives me more time to read my magazines, you know..?" He rolled his eyes, "Whatever you say, Daijouma." That night, we were both punished. But I benifited out of it all....
--
someday it'll awaken, the door of reality
smiling brightly at the present and heading towards the future
lets start walking straight away
if you're here with me
--
^^ Please review.. *giggle* o.o i hope you r/r, k?
o___O sorry if it's really bad, I think it was a little on the "eh" side. ^_^ But i'm giving it a chance.