The Switch—A Kristina Magi Misadventure
Year: Four
Chapter One
Kristina loved practicing spells with her uncle Severus. Sometimes, they dueled for the fun of it. Always, he let her win. One day, they would have a duel and he would stop letting her win. One day. Today was not the day. Although, something told Snape that he may want to consider letting her win. But did he listen? Absolutely not! What was she going to do to him? Knock him out cold? Honestly, he wished she would. That would make for something interesting. Most certainly.
She waved her wand and smiled.
"Uncle Severus, that was fun," Kristina said towards the end.
"I am glad you thought so, my dearest," he replied. "I believe that shall be it for the evening, Kristina."
"Uncle Severus," Kristina started. "What do you think it would be like being a girl?"
Snape paused and crossed his arms, "What do you mean?"
"Would it be weird if a girl and a guy switched bodies?" She asked.
"Most likely so," he hesitated. "Kristina, my dear, what are you thinking about?"
"Just..." she blushed. "I was curious what it'd be like to be you, and what it'd be like for you to be me."
"No! Absolutely not," Snape told her.
Kristina held out her hands in defense, "I don't know how to do it. I was just curious!"
"Well to satisfy your curiosity..." Snape scowled in thought. "I do believe it would take getting used to the other sex, as there are numerous differences between a man and a woman, including heighth." He also gestured at Kristina, trying to get her to recognize that the most obvious difference was that she had breasts, and he basically didn't. Not like hers, anyway. "And...other body parts."
"Oh...right..." Kristina trailed off.
"Besides, why would you ever want to be me?"
"Because you're awesome," Kristina grinned.
"Me? Awesome?" Snape nearly snorted.
"It's true," Kristina smiled. "You're extremely awesome, Uncle Severus."
"Hm," he frowned. "You are a strange child. Though, you got that from your father's side, to be fair."
Kris blushed as he reached over to ruffle her hair. She winced but with surprise. Snape forced a smile for her and then led her out.
"Off to Ravenclaw tower with you, my child," he told her.
"Yes sir," Kristina smiled.
As she began walking away, Snape crossed his arms and shook his head. Where in the world did that imagination come from? Better yet, where did that curiosity come from? Who knows. Strange things always crossed her mind! Half the time, he never understood what she was talking about. Oh well. Not expecting her to turn around any time soon with another question, he turned to head towards the Slytherin dungeons.
—
Kristina asked Erin the same questions. Erin stared at Kristina with her hand placed on her potions book, startled.
"You would want to be Professor Snape?"
"If only a day, or two...or three..."
"We are not doing a polyjuice potion!"
"No, like switching bodies," Kristina grinned. "You know, that thing I've always wanted to write out?"
"Oh my goodness, no! I am not switching you and Professor Snape," Erin shook her head.
"But you kinda wanna see how we'd react," Kristina could feel the curiosity ebbing from her best friend, practically.
"Mm..." Erin neither agreed nor disagreed with the statement. She did not want egg Kristina on with the idea. However, she did know that somebody probably was going to act upon that wish. "Careful what you wish for. Don't want one of our housemates acting upon it."
"I doubt anyone in our house would act upon it," Kristina pointed out. "I think a Gryffindor would. They can be tricksters. Especially the Weasleys. Gods, I can't remember their first names. Only two of them, and I can't remember...Charlie and William? I dunno..."
"Okay...valid point..." Erin resigned. "Alright...let's just...go to sleep. I really do not want to think about the possibility that someone would switch you and Professor Snape. I do not feel comfortable waking up to Snape in your bed!"
Kristina grinned. She thoroughly traumatized her friend with the idea already! Good job, Magi.
"Okay," Kristina practically threw herself on her bed and curled up under her covers. "Gods, I'm so tired..."
"Maybe you should learn how to go to bed earlier," Erin scolded.
"Ugh too much work," Kristina muttered and tossed over onto her side as Erin flicked the lights out.
"Go to sleep," Erin commanded teasingly.
"UGH," Kristina groaned. "I will..."
—
Snape woke up oddly. His face was pressed against a pillow and his mouth was slightly agape. Covers completely up over his shoulders, even over his neck. He grabbed at the covers and pulled them to his shoulders: he was overheating quickly. Something hurt below his stomach, and he was not sure what it was. What was hurting so much? Suddenly, the pain got worse and he gasped in pain. He wrapped his arms around himself and groaned. This was not natural pain, and he could not even begin to figure out what was causing it.
"G-Gah..." he sat up slowly and struggled to climb out of the bed. He searched for the floor with his feet and stood up. Unsurprisingly, he began shaking from the pain. Swallowing hard, he blindly began towards what he thought was his desk in his room. Instead, he walked right into another bed and fell on top of someone else. Both of them were awake at this point, as Snape fell back down on the floor and cried out in fury. "Why are you in my room?!"
"Goodness, Kristina, ARE YOU REALLY THAT BLIND?!" came the sound of Erin Hartnell's voice.
Snape stood back up slowly and Erin reached over for her wand and cast lumos.
"Kristina? What's wrong?" Erin asked.
"Kristina?!" Snape nearly yelled. "Miss Hartnell, fifty points from Ravenclaw!"
"Wait, you can't do that, Kris..." Erin trailed off. "You're not Kristina..."
"What, are you as blind as a bat?" Snape snapped at her.
Erin stared at him and then gasped, "Professor Snape?!"
Before he could respond, he doubled over in pain again and inhaled sharply.
"Oh goodness, are you okay, Professor?" Erin wondered, scrambling out of bed and kneeling beside him.
"What is...wrong with me..." he nearly cried.
"Well...all I can tell right now is that you're in Kristina's body..." Erin put a hand on his shoulder. "Where does it hurt? I may know why...if you tell me where."
Snape bared his teeth in agony but eventually did move both hands to where it hurt the most. Tears were streaming down his face from the pain and he inhaled sharply again.
"There," he said when his hands were where it hurt.
"Oh yeah, you know...uhm...so like you know girls go through a monthly cycle? Yeah...you're menstruating...and you are cramping..."
"Menstruation?" Snape asked. "Cramping?!"
"Yep. What a wonderful morning it is, isn't it, Professor?"
"I gotta find Kristina..." he whispered.
"No, you are not going to be able to even walk out of here!" Erin exclaimed.
"HOW DO YOU GIRLS HANDLE THIS PAIN?!" Snape cried out.
"Uhm...usually potions...a nice warming pad...lots of sweets..." Erin answered. It was not even too far from the truth. Pretty accurate. "You're a guy...men have a lower tolerance for pain...To Kristina, this probably would be a lot easier on her. Here. I'll get you a pain-killing potion. Please do not move."
Snape scoffed, "Yeah, like I'm in a position to move..."
He blinked at himself in disbelief as Erin disappeared out of the room. He never reacted to pain like this. Then again, this was not any pain he had ever dealt with before. Calm down, Severus. It is not like you are dying or anything.
But by the gods did it feel like he was dying. The pain was as if someone stuck a knife in his abdomen and had twisted it around. How did Kristina deal with this?
Erin returned quickly with a potion to help with the pain.
"Okay, I have the potion and you are going to fine once you drink it," she assured him.
"Bloody hell, Hartnell, I know that," he took the potion and gulped it down.
Erin crossed her arms and furrowed her eyebrows at him, "Geez, I've never seen you in such agony. Guess it really is true that men can't handle pain very well."
"Shut...up..." Snape snarled.
"Hey, uhm...so if you're in Kristina's body...does that mean...does that mean Kristina is...is you?" Erin wondered.
"Dear gods..." Snape muttered. "I do not want to think of how she'll react."
"Well, you do know her better than I do so..." Erin shrugged. "But it's still too late at night to go to the Slytherin dungeons to find her."
"Tell me something I don't know, Miss Hartnell," Snape felt the pain ease up.
"Well, you don't know that you're probably bleeding right now and I have to get the magic pad that is both invisible and makes the blood disappear so you're not embarrassed," Erin raised her eyebrows. "Kris and I actually created these, they work! And we're currently trying to patent them. It's a lot of work but will make a lot of women more comfortable."
"Bleeding..." Snape trailed off.
"That is part of the menstrual cycle," Erin pointed out. "Easier to deal with than cramps, to be honest, but still a nuisance. Okay, I have some of those pads right here..." She pulled one out of a drawer and held it. "Close your eyes, Professor. I will handle this. Don't worry, it doesn't bother me any doing this. I have seen Kris naked way too many times...mainly because I keep walking in while she's showering...oops..."
"I did not need that detail," Snape reached his hands up and covered his eyes. "Make it quick...I'm already flustered."
Erin sighed and pulled down his (well, Kristina's) pants and her underwear, stuck the pad to it, and then pulled her britches back up. "All done. No worries about wearing it, you don't feel it and you never have to change it until after the menstruating part ends in...five days, for Kristina."
Snape breathed in relief and drew his hands away from his face, "I will never judge Kristina again when she has to leave my classroom from the pain...the poor child. Hell, I don't think I could ever judge another student." He breathed in the first steady breath in ten minutes. Then, he crossed his arms with a look of irritation.
"Miss Hartnell, how do you propose we...deal with this?"
"Well, I highly doubt Kristina had anything to do with this," Erin told him. "From what I'm gathering, you both were dead asleep when it happened..."
"I was..." Snape scowled. "And was rudely awoken by that agony!"
"It happens to us more often than you think," Erin reminded. "Dead sleep, all of a sudden...holy crap! My uterus is throwing a hissy fit! I feel like I'm dying. Rude."
Snape remained unamused.
"And that's how I know you're not Kris because she would have laughed at that joke...then again it's true..." Erin pouted. "I thought it was funny..."
Professor Snape shook his head and sighed.
"Perhaps we should go back to sleep?" he wondered.
"Oh uhm...definitely..." Erin agreed. "I'm surprised you're calm about this, Professor."
"I'm not," Snape answered as Erin helped him stand up. "Gods...this cannot be real..."
"I wish I could say that it's not real," Erin admitted. "Considering you are in my best friend's body...it's so weird to think about...I hope Kris is okay."
"For my sake, I hope she is as well..."
—
Kristina was not positive if she was okay or not. It was morning when she finally woke up and she was curled up under the blankets. There was a subconscious feeling that perhaps she was supposed to get up soon. However, she had no desire to crawl out of the bed. Too comfortable. She forced herself to sit up, still wrapped up in blankets, and then yawned.
"Er-Bear, gotta wake up..." she muttered, then heard the sound of her own voice. "Wait...that's not my voice..." Oh, maybe Erin is just screwing with me. Somebody's feeling playful!
But that was not the case. She threw her legs over the side of the bed and accidentally slammed them right into the floor. Dropping the covers, she gasped in pain and reached to grab her feet in pain.
"OW!" she cried, then looked at her feet. She was wearing plain black socks. The fact that she was wearing plain black socks was confusing, because she did not wear any like that. She had black socks with foxes on them, but that was it. Confused, she dropped her feet back down on the ground, much more careful this time, and scratched her head. "Hm. Weird." Glancing around, she finally recognized that she was not in her own room. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked around.
"Uhm...shit..." she commented.
Quickly, she rose to her feet and looked around for a wand. When she found it, she was able to figure out at the very least where she was.
"Uncle Severus's wand," she responded. "Okay, his wand..." She reached down and grabbed her clothing to look at it. "Oh shit..." She raced out of the room, nearly tripping over her own feet, regained her balance for a few moments, and looked around for a bathroom. "Uhm...uhm..." Scowling, she chose a direction to head into and found her way to the bathroom. When she got there, she opened the door, walked in, and then shut it tightly so she could have privacy. Finding the mirror, she averted her eyes until she felt ready for the shock. After a few moments, she forced herself to look. She clutched the sink tightly as she glanced up. That was when she finally saw her face, or rather her uncle Severus's face. "Uhm..." She touched her face gingerly, and then curiously slapped herself to see if it was real. The pain that followed was definitely real. After retaliating against the pain, she grunted and frowned.
"I've gotta find Uncle Severus," she muttered. "This is not good. Not at all." Adrenaline coursed through her veins and she could feel her heart speed up with anxiety. Shit. How did Uncle Severus's body deal with anxiety? She knew she got nauseous...but...Although, she had never seen him anxious. So if his body did happen to deal with anxiety, how would that go?
Okay, Kristina. Calm down! Snape would not panic, right? Probably not. She had never seen him panic, either. Although, she's seen him mortified and crying. That was about it. For a moment, she got distracted by when she saw him sobbing for the first time. That was a few years ago, too. Her mind went off on a tangent with that thought.
She was about to start her first year at Hogwarts, and a week before they had gone to shop for supplies, she had heard him come home sobbing uncontrollably.
"What's wrong?" she remembered asking him. He could not tear himself away from crying to answer, so instead she wrapped her arms around him and cried with him until he could finally stop (she was a sympathetic crier). Even after he stopped and was hiccuping, he would not tell her any specifics.
"My friend...was murdered..." he had answered as vaguely as he could. Kristina did not know that the friend was actually his crush who had married his bully. He could never bring himself to tell her.
After thinking about that moment, she shook her head. Why did her mind go off on that tangent? Never mind that! She had to get out of the Slytherin dungeons and find her uncle Severus!
There was a knock at the door, startling Kristina. She jumped and looked.
"Professor Snape? Are you okay? I saw you running into the bathroom..."
Kristina recomposed herself and tried to think about how Snape would respond.
"I am...doing excellent..." she answered. "Just uhm, needed to relieve myself, that was all."
"Oh...right." Kristina could practically see them flustered. "I forgot you're human, too."
"Well, of course I am..." Kristina muttered.
"Okay, well see you later then."
"Whatever..." she mumbled. They left and Kristina looked at the mirror again. Holy hell, what was she going to do? She rubbed her eyes tiredly and stifled a yawn. Man, did Snape ever actually sleep? She felt like she hadn't slept in years!
"Crikey," she commented. "Uncle Severus, what the hell..."
Quietly, she let go of the sink completely and crossed her arms, realizing that it was a weekday and she had to get out to breakfast. Fine. She left the bathroom, still stumbling, and navigated her way through the Slytherin house back to Snape's room to get dressed properly. It was hard for her to move right, as she was used to carrying around a much lesser weight. Not that Snape was not at a healthy weight, but the sheer fact that he was taller than her made him heavier than she was. When she was dressed properly, she left and navigated the house by instinct and the sound of the students' voices. She finally found the common room, and then the exit. Cautiously, she crossed the common room until she got to the door, and then she was able to leave fairly quickly and without anyone to strike up a conversation.
When she left, she was able to find her way through the dungeons until she walked past Snape's classroom. Door was locked, naturally, but she knew how to get in...not that she needed to right now. Walking past the classroom, she found her way out to the main hallways and then towards the Ravenclaw tower. There, she waited for Erin and Snape. She could probably answer the riddle, but the portrait knew that it was Professor Snape and would probably ask too many questions.
Anxiously, she waited for Professor Snape and Erin to come out. Knowing how her morning started, she was willing to bet Snape's was not much better. And she would have been right.
Not even five minutes later, she heard footsteps running down the stairs and Kristina braced herself for Snape's scorn. She could almost already feel it as she saw Erin emerge from the shadows with what appeared to be Snape. She was surprised to see herself from a different viewpoint, but that soon faded when Snape's expression turned to fury and he ran at her.
"Kristina! How dare you do this!"
He reached up to grab her shoulders and clutch them but Kristina stopped him.
"Uncle Severus, it wasn't me!" she exclaimed. "I was asleep! And I told you, I have no idea how to do the spell. My gods..." She paused and examined herself. "Haha I look so cute when I'm mad."
"This is not a funny matter, Kristina!" Snape snapped at her.
"Actually it kinda is..." Kristina chuckled.
Snape offered her an exasperated sigh, "I cannot fathom your ability to stay amused..."
"So you, for a fact, did not switch bodies with Snape?" Erin asked.
"Absolutely not!" Kristina shook her head. "I was sleeping..."
"What did I tell you?" Erin asked. "Careful what you wish for."
"Hey, I only partially wished for this," Kristina scowled, then glanced down at Snape. "Uncle Severus, do you have any idea how to fix this?"
"Bloody hell, I do not even know how this happened!" Snape exclaimed.
Kristina flinched and sighed, "Who would know?"
"Dunno," he answered. "I'll talk with the teachers...see who could potentially help."
"Oh! Severus!" came a voice. They all looked and saw Professor Moses. He had a cherry pop in his mouth, and so early too! "Kristina. Erin." He nodded at them.
"Professor Moses," Kristina blushed.
"We've a problem, Meriwether," Professor Snape stated.
Confusion crossed Meriwether's face. Did Snape just call him "professor" and Kristina call him "Meriwether"? He frowned and looked at them.
"Is there something going on here?"
"So uhm...you see, what happened..." Erin thought hard about how to explain it. "That is Professor Snape—" she pointed at Snape in Kristina's body. "—and that is Kristina..." she pointed at Kristina in Snape's body. "And we have no idea how it happened..."
"Oh my GAWD," Meriwether's eyes widened with surprise. "What? No way."
"I woke up in the Ravenclaw tower and she woke up in the Slytherin dungeon..." Snape scowled.
"They switched bodies in the middle of the night," Erin explained. "It's weird..."
"Okay, so no one has gone to the nurse yet?" Meriwether asked. After the three of them exchanged glances, he sighed. "Okay. Let's go."
"Madam Pomfrey would be able to help?" Kristina asked.
"Not precisely," Snape shook his head. "She may be able to help diagnose the issue, but there is not much she can do."
"Yes," Meriwether agreed. "Erin, if you would not mind going ahead and having breakfast?"
"Of course, Professor," Erin nodded. "See you two later."
"Okay," Kristina smiled. "Save me some food!"
"I don't see why I wouldn't," Erin teased.
Kristina looked down at Snape and offered to hold his hand. He glanced at her hand and then up at her. Sighing, he grabbed her hand and they followed Meriwether to Madam Pomfrey's office. She clutched his hand anxiously.
"By the way, I will never again judge you for leaving class early because of pain," Snape told her.
"Why?" Kristina wondered.
"I woke up...to the agony that you call your menstrual cycle!" Snape exclaimed in a hiss.
"Just your average day as me," Kristina shrugged. "I'm used to it."
"Gods..." Snape shook his head. "How do you deal with it?"
"Uhm I don't," Kristina answered.
"Crikey..." Snape shook his head.
"Okay, so Professor Snape...Kristina..." Meriwether led them into the office. "You two ought to explain the situation..."
"Yeah," Kristina agreed. "Uncle Severus?"
"Fine," he grumbled. "Just want this over with."
"I know you do," Kristina told him. "But you've got to deal with this until it gets resolved. Probably within a day or two..."
"Absolutely not!" he protested.
"It's likely, Severus," Meriwether pointed out.
"Ugh!" Snape groaned.
"So who do we have today?" came Madam Pomfrey's voice. Kris and Snape glanced up at her and she looked confused. "Is there something the matter with you two?"
"Sorta," Meriwether answered. "It seems as though someone...switched...them."
"I woke up in the Slytherin dungeon today and he woke up in my bed," Kris told her.
"It's absolutely embarassing," Snape complained.
"Switched?" Madam Pomfrey wondered. "You know, that's been going on a lot lately. Just yesterday, a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor came to me and they were switched. Couldn't do a thing! Same thing with the Weasley brothers. And a few others..."
"So there's nothing you can do?" Snape asked.
"I'm afraid not, Severus," Madam Pomfrey said apologetically.
"Bloody hell!" Snape cursed.
"So uhm, since it's happened with a student and teacher, how do we go about this?" Kristina wondered.
"Well..." Madam Pomfrey furrowed her eyebrows in thought. "I'm not sure. Just go to your respective tables...I'd inform the other teachers of the issue."
"Okay..." Kristina scowled.
"It's an odd situation, for sure," Madam Pomfrey agreed with Kristina's scowl.
—
After breakfast, Kristina met back up with Professor Snape and asked him what they were doing that day.
"Tests," he told her. "I have several in my office. Each stack is a class. I have quite a few, including yours."
"That's easy," Kristina shrugged.
"I demand you take it as well," Snape told her.
"You act as though I won't," Kristina frowned.
Snape furrowed his eyebrows and held a hand up to her face. Gingerly, he felt for her temperature.
Then, he frowned as well.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I mean...I feel fine..." Kristina raised her eyebrows. "What? Do I not look okay?"
"You feel warm...or I do...and you look sick," Snape answered.
"Now that you mention it, I feel a bit dizzy..."
"Well that's certainly not good," Snape put his hands on his hips. "I knew something was wrong with me last night before I went to bed! Bloody 'ell. My apologies...you have to deal with me being sick."
"I've dealt with worse," Kristina shrugged. "Well, off to class..."
"What's your first class?" Snape asked.
"Divinations," she answered. "Erin and I have the same classes together."
"Alright..." Snape scowled.
"It'll be fine," Kris assured him.
"I know..." Snape sighed.
She hugged him and smiled at him, "Go learn for me!"
"Try not to slap any of my students..." Snape told her.
"Ugh," she turned and began walking down towards Snape's classroom.
—
Her class was not until after lunch. As the hours passed, Kristina felt sicker and sicker. She did not even eat lunch today, she just sat quietly contemplating things at the teacher's table. By the time her class actually arrived, she was lying her head on Snape's desk and could hardly lift it when he came up to her. In fact, she had nearly dozed off when suddenly, she felt hands on her shoulders and then being shaken awake.
"Wake up, you're drooling on my desk," Snape grumbled.
Kristina tiredly lifted her head and groaned, "It's your drool, what does it even matter?"
"It's still disgusting," Snape muttered. "I do not look very well..."
"Gods, I feel like I got run over by a train..." Kristina whined.
"You've a few more hours left," Snape reminded gently.
"I should just cancel class and go back to the dungeons and sleep..." Kristina mumbled dryly.
"Get yourself a glass of water and do not dare to cancel class," he ordered.
"Yeah but what if I frigging throw up?" Kristina asked with a groan.
"Hm..." Snape thought for a moment.
Kristina waved her hand in dismissal, "Go sit down."
"I will sit with you," he told her. "My prescence comforts you, does it not?"
"Yeah," Kristina sighed. "You know, we switched bodies at the worst possible time. You were sick and I was about to start my cycle."
"Indeed," Snape agreed.
Kristina moaned softly in agony and then looked at Snape, "Uncle Severus, you think we could sleep in the classroom? I mean...it'd be too weird for us to try and go back to the respective houses."
"Hm, I do not see why not..." Snape admitted.
"Great," Kristina winced. "I'll think of something comfortable to sleep in. The tables are not much and I'm far too tall to lie down on the tables anyway..." She paused, "I never thought I would say that..."
Snape shook his head and crossed his arms.
"So, my favorite Ravenclaw, have you any plausible explanations for many of us being switched?" he wondered.
"I mean..." Kristina inhaled deeply. "My ideas are rather silly though..."
"Hm?" Snape wondered.
"Well..." Kristina trailed off when she felt another pang of nausea. "Oh dear gods..." She wrapped her arms around her torso and felt her stomach contract. Snape raised his wand to try and help, but she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth, jumped out of her seat and attempted to leave for a restroom, however, she could not make it past her former friend's desk without having to vomit. She turned and used her cauldron to puke in. The sound was like that of rain, if rain was made of yogurt. Her voice was loud like a toad giving birth (if toads had a mammalian birthing process).
Professor Snape clapped his hands over his mouth and tried not to laugh at her puking in a cauldron. By the way, Snape was horrified by how he sounded when she had puked. Erin looked over in surprise and whispered, "Oh shoot." Snape ran up behind Kristina and put his hand on her back to try and make her feel better.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Kristina shook her head. The girl looked at Kristina in absolute horror and Snape just looked at her and shrugged.
"Professor, are you okay?" came a chorus of students at the same time.
Kristina looked up and shook her head slowly, "I am not well, in fact."
"Should we take him to Madam Pomfrey?" came one voice.
"N-No," Kristina answered. "I think class is done for today, you all may finish the test at a later date. Just, for now please leave my classroom."
Snape looked at her, "May I stay?"
Kristina looked at him and nodded slightly. People quickly evacuated the classroom before "Snape" could get them sick. The girl took her cauldron and ran out faster than everyone else and took it to where she could dump it. The only other person left was Erin. She walked up to Kristina and held out her arms for a hug.
"Need a hug?" she asked.
"Sorta..." Kristina accepted.
Snape sighed, "That did not go as planned."
"Nothing...ever does..." Kristina struggled to say. "Erin...Uncle Severus and I are going to use this room to sleep in so that neither of us end up in an awkward situation..."
"Is there anything from our room that you need?" Erin asked. "I don't mind missing a class to get anything."
Kristina ran her fingers through her hair, "Later, I would appreciate my showering stuff...my soaps."
"Of course," Erin nodded. "Anything else?"
"I'm not sure about much else. Ooh, my blankets. I'd appreciate my blankets. All I'm gonna conjure up is a hammock or something of the sort. Uncle Severus and I are going to share a blanket."
"I'm currently trying to imagine that scenario," Erin commented.
Kristina forced a wry smile on her face and the color drained from her face again, "Oh gods...I feel...like I'm going to puke again..."
"I'll walk you to the restroom, then," Snape offered. "I'll even follow you in."
"Thank you, Uncle Severus..." Kristina nodded slowly. "Erin...I'll see you whenever you bring my stuff."
"Of course," she smiled reassuringly. "I understand not wanting to deal with drama."
Snape tugged at Kristina's arm and he led her off to the men's restroom. They rushed to the restroom, before Kristina puked again. She was able to hold it until they got there, however, as soon as she stepped into the first stall she fell to her knees and felt her stomach violently contract, making her convulse as she let go of whatever left she had in her stomach. Snape stood back, still rubbing her back, and thought to himself, I sound gods-awful when I vomit. Then again, did anybody ever sound good? Kristina lifted her head after she finished that round and wiped her face on a piece of toilet paper, then dropped it into the toilet.
"Uncle Severus..." she started, weakly this time. She could hardly speak coherently.
"Yes, my child?" he asked.
"I really would...appreciate it...if you were to kindly finish my classes today," she suggested.
"Go through them?" he asked.
"Yes. I've just one more class that is after yours, and then I'm in my room for three hours...It's not Professor McGonagall's class."
"What class is it?" he asked her gently.
Kristina struggled but she was able to remember, "Astrology."
"Easy enough," he shrugged. "Oh, if you are to take a shower...do you know where the teacher's bathing room is?"
"I think so," Kristina nodded. "I kinda mapped out the school year one."
"Right by the prefects' bathing room," Snape told her.
"Yeah..."
"Don't wash my hair," he told her sternly.
"Uhg." Kristina muttered. "I make no promises..."
"Are you going to vomit anymore?" he asked.
"I'm...not positive..." Kristina winced. "Oh, wait...no...one more."
She felt it again and heaved. It was a dry heave this time, nothing to cough back up except saliva.
"I think I'm good now..." She forced herself to her feet, which was a struggle because she was so tall and she was still not used to it. "Ah...Uncle Severus...help...I can't get up."
Snape bent over and grabbed Kristina by her underarms and dragged her out of the stall.
"I AM SO HEAVY."
"You...do realize...you are in my body...and I have little upper body strength?" Kristina reminded.
"Hm..." Snape nodded.
"UGH." Kristina kicked her legs weakly trying to stand up. "Uncle Severus..."
He decided to run over to the toilet to kick the handle to flush it. Then, he came back, went to a sink and got a damp paper towel to clean her hands. Crouching beside her, he wiped her hands and threw away the dirty paper towel.
"My dearest..." he started softly, then remembered his spell. He whipped out his wand and pointed it at her. "levicorpus!" However, her body did not move. Snape scowled. "Why is it not working the way it is supposed to?"
Kristina reached into her coat and pulled out his wand, "Maybe you need your own..."
They exchanged wands and he tried again. This time, he successfully levitated her into the air and used it to guide her onto her feet. He gave a satisfied smirk and looked up at her.
"My dearest..." he started. "You...go lie down in my classroom before...you vomit...again."
"Yes, Uncle Severus," she scratched her head. "I may shower first...gods I feel so yucky." She realized something, "Oh gods...I'm going to see more of you than I wanted to ever see."
"I'm..." Snape shook his head. "You can figure out how to avoid seeing me. I shall see you in a few hours."
"Yes...sir..." Kristina rested her hands against her stomach. "Ugh..." Together, they left the men's restroom and split up. Kristina headed back to Snape's classroom to attempt to make a hammock for her and Snape to curl up in. She drew her wand and aimed in a corner of the classroom. She muttered words to conjure up a hammock and after a few minutes, she was able to make it appear. She even added pillows. Nice and fluffy. Clumsily, she crawled into the hammock and curled up, waiting for Erin to arrive with a blanket.
It was not much longer when Erin arrived in the classroom.
"Hey, Kris, I've got your blanket. It's your favorite one. The plush Ravenclaw blanket I bought you for your birthday? It's long and wide enough for you and Professor Snape!"
Kristina opened her eyes and glanced down at Erin, "Oh...thanks..."
She reached down for her blanket and curled up under it.
"I also brought a comforter because it gets cold down here," she tossed it up on Kristina.
"I love you so much right now," Kristina said in a monotone voice.
"That time, you sounded exactly like Professor Snape," Erin told her.
"I am...too tired...to even think about...acting myself..." Kristina clenched her teeth. "Can you bring...a trash can over here... I think I'm about to vomit again."
"You poor baby," Erin awed.
"Mm," Kristina tensed. "Uncle Severus's body...does not...handle sickness very well..."
Erin brought over a trash can and put to where she could lean over to puke. Again, she felt the contraction within her stomach and agonized until she could try to heave up...well...whatever was there. She ended up spitting into the can and she sighed heavily.
"You know, this was not how I imagined being my uncle..." she muttered.
"Just the wrong time!" Erin assured her. "Maybe this'll last until after the illness has passed."
"I do not want to piss out of my uncle's...junk..."
"Better get used to it," Erin teased. "Oh, by the way your body soap and hair soaps are on this desk..." She pointed at the table.
"I'd like to see you try this!" Kristina coughed. "Erin, feel my face and tell me if I feel hot? I think I've a fever..."
Erin reached up and felt her forehead, then her cheeks. That was when she realized she had never actually touched Snape's face before. Embarrassed, she withdrew her hands and offered an expression of concern.
"A high fever," she answered.
"Uncle Severus will make me a potion later," she groaned. "Go to our last class. I would hate for you to miss it because of me."
"It'll be fine!" Erin assured.
"No, you need to go...Uncle Severus is waiting there by now, probably."
"Okay..." Erin pouted. She reached up and gave Kristina an awkward hug before leaving, and of course locking the door behind her.
—
Kristina was able to force herself out of the classroom long enough to take a shower in the teachers' bathing room. Nobody was in there, making it a perfect time to bathe. Grabbing an emerald green towel, she headed over to a shower and turned it on. While waiting for it to warm up, she hung the towel and undressed. She folded Snape's cloak as best as she could and set it aside. Then, she unbuttoned his jacket and after that, his shirt.
She glanced at herself in the mirror and saw that she looked like absolute hell. Anxiously, she touched her shoulder and gripped at it while still looking. Though, she had to admit Snape was actually really hot, even with him looking like hell right now.
After a few moments, she tore herself away from her anxiety to finish undressing. She unzipped his pants and pulled them off, nearly losing her balance in the process. Lastly, he (thankfully) had boxers. She pulled those off with his socks and folded them neatly and placed them with everything else. Avoiding glancing down at any point, she took her soaps into the shower with her and stepped inside. First, she washed her face thoroughly with a cleanser that was apricot-scented. After she washed his face, she grabbed her hair soap, dumped enough into her hands to work into her uncle's hair, and began massaging it in. It took a little over a minute to get it thoroughly into the hair and washed.
Annoyed, she thought to herself, Uncle Severus, do you EVER wash your hair? Gods...I'm doing you a favor here, you know. After she got the soap out, she added some conditioner to the ends of his hair and washed it out too. Then, she grabbed a washcloth to begin washing the rest of her/Snape's body. She kept her eyes closed so she would not look at anything she did not want to see. In the middle of washing, she felt the nausea come back and she quickly finished so she could get out without incident. Once finished, she turned off the hot water (which felt amazing) and grabbed her towel, drying off her body and then quickly putting back on her boxers and pants. As soon as she had those on, she was able to comfortably take the time to dry her hair. She pulled out her wand pointed it at her hair.
"Comæ Siccum," she muttered.
Not even a moment later, her hair was dry. However, something was not quite right... When she ran her fingers through her hair, it felt way too soft and she looked at herself in the mirror. Shocked, she gingerly touched her hair. It had fluffed out, much like that of a maine coon cat's fur. Cursing under her breath, she realized why her uncle told her not to wash his hair. That. That was why. Not that it looked bad, but it just...was not Snape.
"Well...shit..." she cursed.
With no way to really fix it, she decided she would just have to prepare for being scolded by Snape later. Sighing, she turned and put the rest of her clothes on and left with her soaps in the bag that Erin had brought them in. At least she felt slightly better, although her stomach was still doing somersaults.
"Gods, I feel awful..." she murmured.
As she walked, she felt herself getting sicker.
"I swear to the gods if this does not stop..." she growled under her breath as she approached Snape's classroom again.
Waiting right by the door was Snape himself, in her body. His arms were crossed and his expression changed from concern to annoyance.
"What did I tell you about washing my hair?" he hissed.
Kristina looked up at the ceiling and walked up to him.
"I was not thinking," she told him. "Now shut up and let me go lie down before I vomit again..."