There were times when you just ended up being terrified of unexplainable things. Things like spiders, clowns, a certain pot in the kitchen you're positive always seems to be out to get you. Then there are times where your fear has an explanation.

Like my fear of water.

I bet you're thinking I need to get over that fear of water. I know I've tried and people have tried to help me, but nothing's worked. I'm not afraid of the actual water itself, but of being pulled under, not being able to escape the inky darkness below me...

I nearly died, from being pulled underwater. It was more frightening to be hanging onto that stick in the mud and having people calling out to me to hold on, help was on the way, when I could see others panicking, wondering what was taking people so long.

The brief episode where I was sucked under before the boulder fell was the worst moment of my life. My grip slipped barely a fraction and the rushing water tore my hand off, sending me under.

That was the worst. I'm alright with boats and as don't think about the water I'm fine.

Which is why I jumped off the lighthouse after Sheba. That was another experience I wish I could forget. I could see land in the distance, after we were washed out to sea, and I dragged Sheba's prone body as far as I could. I don't remember making it, in fact, I only remember my vision turning to black and my disoriented thoughts about it being the end.

I like boats, which is why people don't understand my fear of water. I like the feeling of drifting out at sea, with no hurry and no one to bother me. Isaac, Ivan, and Mia are always restless when we don't seem to be getting anywhere or they can't see the land moving in the distance. They don't have that same sense of awareness that Peirs and I do. Jenna and Garet are always on the move and don't always pay attention to the world around them, preferring to argue over pointless things, and Sheba, well, who knows what's going on with her most of the time?

Peirs understands though. Sometimes he'll come up and watch the ocean go by with me. He's rather shy, it seems, when it comes to himself. He'll say what needs to be said, and say it with confidence, but we don't know a lot about him as a person.

The others try and talk to him all the time and he usually ends up coming to sit in silence near me. I'm pretty sure he's a people person, though he doesn't like the actual conversing. Which is fine with me, since I'm the same.

And that's what confused me when he spoke out of the blue today.

"What is your greatest fear?"

I looked up but he was leaning against the railing, looking out to sea. I followed his gaze then answered.

"Drowning."

I think I surprised him; he whipped his head around so fast to stare at me. I offered no explanation and a content smile grew on his face. He turned back to the sea and it seemed that we were to go back into companionable silence. However, his question spiked a rare bout of curiosity.

"Why?"

He looked back at me, though he took his time turning his head.

"Just curious, fears are so trivial sometimes."

"What's yours?" I think I had to know, was his trivial? Fears are unique to each person and there are logical reasons that sometimes only make sense to that person.

He frowned and looked away again. That wouldn't do, I can't see his face to judge his feelings.

"It's silly, you'll laugh."

"Have I ever laughed?" I asked, bitterness coloring my tone. I have not laughed for years and I can't remember the last time I ever smiled.

At least I can see his face again.

His eyes are full of confusion and he's frowning still. There's another emotion in his eyes, one I can't determine.

"No, you haven't. Why don't you?"

"I don't know." I can admit things, but my eyes have not left his and I can almost see his resolve wavering. He doesn't want to tell me, I think he will though.

"I'm afraid..." He whispers and I lock the wheel on course, going to stand next to him.

His voice goes quieter. "I'm afraid ... of you."

I jerk away from him and he locks his bright golden eyes with mine. His voice is stronger now. "I'm afraid you'll never laugh, never smile. I'm afraid that there's nothing left in you, no emotions at all. What will you do Felix? Why are you so empty?"

I place a hand on his shoulder. He won't tell us how old he is which makes the others think he's older than Kraden. I think he's as young as we are, if not in body then in mind.

"I'm not empty, or alone." I answer. "I have friends."

He shakes his head, frantically. "They don't see it, they don't see that you're cutting them off from you!"

My hand slides closer to his neck and I turn his head to look at me. "I have you. You see."

Startled eyes lock in on mine again.

I lean in.

His eyes flutter shut as his breath catches in his throat.

My lips touch his. I didn't plan this. I close my eyes as well.

He lets out a whimper and presses up against me, I run my tongue across his bottom lip and he gasps softly into my mouth. I angle my head and my tongue pushes into his mouth.

Timidly at first his rises to join mine and after I twist mine with his he becomes bolder.

Briefly I wonder if it's his first. Then I decide it doesn't matter.

We pull apart for air and I rub a small circle on his neck with my thumb.

His eyes open and he looks at me with a question in those golden orbs.

I just smile.

I'm not empty.

Eh? That was really weird if I do say so myself. And I do say so...

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NOTE! This is a repost from the account of TheOtherDerangedLie. I have not changed anything.